Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

In this particular context - dating....should I call him/her or wait for him/her to call me, I think jsmth isn't wrong to think it might be a game.

The good manners part has already happened. There are some situations where a follow up text or phone call might reinforce it.

But in a dating context it might send a signal that that there might be more interest, or it might wrongly be taken as a signal of further (romantic) interest when there isn't any. Perhaps there was no follow up to avoid that?

But sometimes people are playing a game - playing hard to get, making someone jealous, leave them wanting more, not wanting to appear too keen...that sort of thing.

Beckiwoo's last post seems fair enough.

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

I don't know Bristol... I suspect I wouldn't do a first date at home for a number of reasons but there was a lot of effort involved so I think a non committal follow up thank you is a nice thing to do!

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

I think good manners demands following up a dinner or drinks invitation with a written thank you in addition to the thank said when leaving. That's just a perfunctory greeting isn't it? On the lines of "do come round for coffee" it isn't necessarily meant.

He didn't do this so in my world he's an ill mannered coward. He should follow up with a thank you for dinner. No need to say "see you again soon" or whatever. He could manage some polite conversation about her being a lovely person etc but there being no chemistry between them, blah, blah.

Either way she's well rid of someone who comes for dinner, brings nothing- no wine, flowers, chocolates, and then hasn't the decency to send a thank you message afterwards.

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

Maybe a cultural difference? I've never had anyone do a follow up thank you after a dinner or such, always happened at the end before leaving, but never a follow up afterwards.

That's why I found it odd one would expect a follow up afterwards when a thank you was provided at the end.

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

I've had thank you emails and messages from Canadians too. Maybe it's a generation thing as some ill mannered Brits didn't bother. Mind you they turned out to be fairly low forms of life.

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

He probably made contact tonight and they're going out for a romantic dinner tomorrow night. :rofl:

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

you could be right there. Hearts and flowers all the way:heart::heart:

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

Could be a generational as well, or even a regional thing depending where one is from within a country.

It's just not something I have ever received from anyone at any point, and not something that I even had a clue was expected from others.

People can't be expected to do something if they don't know they should. I'd never have guessed one would be expected to say thank you again after saying thank you at the time the event happened.

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

A couple of things I see wrong with the date and the expectation that he should contact the OP after...

Firstly, a first date shouldn't be at someone's home. You probably know very little about him, so why would you tell him where you live? First dates should be in a neutral place where you're not letting a virtual stranger into your home. The second thing I see wrong with this scenario is that the "date" was actually a dinner party with a bunch of strangers. Put yourself in his shoes and imagine you were invited to dinner with a group of other people! A first date is a way for two people to get to know each other, not for him to meet your room-mate, her boyfriend and a bunch of their friends. I would have been put off, too.

As for him contacting you the day after, why would he? The poor guy is probably scared shitless that the next date will be to meet your parents! If you liked him and you want to see him again then why sit around waiting for him to contact you? Text, phone, email, whatever him and say "hey, I had a really nice time the other night and would like to see you again. Maybe next time we can go for dinner somewhere, just the 2 of us, so we can get to know each other a little better". If he replies then maybe it will go somewhere. If not, then you know that he just wasn't that into you.

I've just recently started dating again after 23 years of marriage. I have to say that it's an absolute minefield of dickheads and creeps out there, but at the same time I've met some really nice people. I've joined Meetup.com and have gone to a few things with people my age who share similar interests and have made some great contacts. My ex-husband even met his current girlfriend (I have to laugh at "girlfriend" since she's 58 and he's 48) at a meetup. It might be worth a try, even if it's just to meet people with some interests you share. Who knows? You may just meet someone you want to date. :fingerscrossed:

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

Erm...just to clarify...it wasn't a first date that I invited him to my house. I think I mentioned in one of my posts that we had been out about 3 -4 times before in town beforehand.

I'm not stupid enough to invite someone I don't know round to my house

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

Erm...where did you say you had been out with him 3-4 times? Your post about this particular guy said you'd known him a couple of weeks. Well, I've known people for a couple of weeks who I still wouldn't invite to my home.

Nobody said you were stupid. I was trying to be helpful. However, you seem bent on only finding fault with every man you meet, so perhaps it really is you. :nod:

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

How dare you you make that assumption about me!

Well I do if i think they are OK I will invite them round. Plus he had previously invited me round to his but it was too soon in my eyes - we don't all have the same beliefs so its up to you if you wouldnt invite them but quite frankly I couldn't care less what you would do or not!

This isn't the first time you have been rude and abrupt towards me!

Oh look the ignore option - now I don't have to see anymore of your nasty, trolling posts again! :amen:

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

I also had the impression from becky's post that she had just met the fellow.

I think JS has a point on the second thank you (text/note). I suppose it's generally polite to so, but I think the practice is being eroded with time and there must be regional differences too.

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

Ok so it wasn't 3-4 times. But as I did state I had been meeting up with him for a few weeks!

Generally I don't have an issue with inviting someone round to mine or going round to theirs after 3,4 or 5 successful dates - that is up to the older generation (seeing as she has just just started dating again after 23 years of marriage) if they would prefer to wait 3 years to invite someone round!

Re: Back to the UK for a potential spouse or stay in Canada
 

You have to agree though that bringing a bottle of wine/beer/flowers or at least something to contribute to the evening is polite.

I even checked beforehand if this etiquette was followed in Canada and I was informed it was.

Anyway this stuff doesn't matter anymore as I wont be seeing him again. There a better things out there for me :thumbsup: