indiebird

Well can I buy for DH so that he knows then??

TestaRossa

Point! If you really want a book go for Christopher Green. Beyond toddlerdom is good for up to age 12. I'm waiting for one that goes beyond that tbh!!

Ruth2003

Well Indiebird, one more week and a bit and hopefully you will be able to relax and enjoy the company of your littluns in peace! Relax, enjoy and let the New year bring all the good you deserve!

indiebird

Hmmmmm not if BA cabin crew go on strike!! I am really annoyed that we might struggle getting home to the UK for xmas as I really neeeeeed to go and so do the kids.... must admit that Miss Sparkly (one of Ds's teachers who has a penchant for glitter- glue eyeliner) had an accident yesterday and broke a leg... no maths homework for Natale!! ....Although obviously we are sending her healing vibes and hoping she gets well soon

Patty

Oh wow Indie - you see it IS true ..........What goes around ---comes around !!
Poor lady - lets hope she doesnt return to school too early and that maybe laying off the eye glitter will restore her natural balance

indiebird

oh yes I am a firm believer in Karma!!

Lorna at Vicenza

Oh God - a broken leg for Christmas. If you didn't believe in karma before, you would after reading this.

37100

Poor woman. What makes you think ds won't be getting any maths homework?

indiebird

because she isn't there to give it. If that particular teacher is ill then they don't give out homework. They were divided up yesterday and had to go in with whoever had spaces to take them. Ds ended up in a religion lesson (we opted out of religion) with another quinta class for the morning yesterday. I don't think he ended up doing much... in the UK all the lesson plans are at the school and they get a supply teacher in from a 'bank' of them or the head sometimes takes them... here it seems to be a make do attitude. Dd had it last week when one of hers was ill too and she found it quite stressful to be divided up like that and to have to fit in with another class.... think I would have done too at that age.

indiebird

Well I made the mistake of thinking it would be courteous to write a note in Julia's diary to say that we would not be able to make parents evening. In return I got an actual letter from the teachers (unsigned though I might add!! ) in her diary saying that they really needed to speak to us as there are many problems with her at school and they needed to discuss them. I had written that if there were major problems then perhaps we could make an appointment in the new year. This wasn't possible until at least mid january apparently. So I phoned dh at work told him we had to go because she is such a good girl here and really tries her best that I was worried about what they might say. He wasn't happy and didn't want to be dropped off there to go to see them and so I had to rush around driving to swimming lessons and then to get dh and then back to get the kids from swimming and we got to the school about 5mins before the teachers had said they were leaving. We had to walk over wet floors to get to the class as the cleaners were cleaning etc. but we got to see them and there was not a huge queue like we anticipated so I think we were not the only ones who couldn't make it, as usually these things really overrun.

Anyway, it seems that she is strong willed and will not do things how they want them done and if she doesn't feel like doing things then she won't. She thinks she knows best and does things her way. I said that we felt that she could be strong minded but she is a well behaved little girl and does do what she's told. The teachers did the incredulous look at each other then and one of them said 'Have you not noticed all her poor marks?' Well yes I had noticed some but not all of them were bad I replied. I told them I thought this year was about learning how school works and how to read and write. More incredulous looks. 'What do you do when she gets a bad mark?' Well I say that she needs to try her very best and to try and get a better mark next time. This apparently is very poor parenting (honestly in the UK teachers would get a slap for speaking to most parents like this!!) on my part and I should be asking her why she is getting such bad marks and why she won't obey the teachers and tell her that she is a very bad girl. I probably should have just said 'Va bene, Maestre' then and 'Grazie mille per questa, buonasera.' but it really annoyed me!! and so I said 'How does this help her confidence? I want a confident child not one who is scared of coming to school.' More incredulous looks. I need to be harder apparently and make her listen to what grown ups say. I said that we felt that she spoke italian very well now and a teacher interupped me and said 'well quite well.' she then turned to my OH and said 'and you, you don't say much. Do you speak even less italian than your wife?' He replied that he did speak a bit less than me. 'So you are all speaking English at home then?' Yes we do speak English at home. It is our mother tongue and also very important for the children. 'No, it's not important.' she said 'it's more important that you can understand and be understood.' I don't really see what business this is of theres but there you go..... and there was me thinking I'd have a new chance to have a fruitful relationship with Julia's teachers.... guess it's not going to happen is it!!??

37100

BUT and it's a very BIG but, OH was there to hear it all. Maybe he now understands the grief you get. Apart from the english at home bit (i always got that too, but that was years ago) it seems like a very standard school meeting so try not to let it get to you. BTW they put what language you speak at home on their internal report.

indiebird

Hmmm I don't know. I don't think he can understand why I take it so personally, but I feel like they are criticising my parenting as though they are 'experts' and I am stoopid. It was our language school dinner last night and I got chatting with a couple of people about this language at home thing. Apart from the pushy Romanian who thinks that we should embrace everything italian and I should make as effort to look strong and to look my very best at all times (??) most speak their own language at home and feel it's a strength for kids to speak two languages and think that our kids are 'in gamba' and lovely. We got lots of compliments from people about our kids and I just don't understand this negative attitude and trying to get kids to bend into something they have no hope of achieving... I am also very worried that Julia will be the one who struggles to adapt back into English school as her English reading and writing won't be up to scratch.

Also they want my to have her at home when the religion lessons are happening too. I am at home all day after all!!!! I did say that perhaps they could use the time to help her with the problems and this is just not possible apparently.... I think we might just have some mummy and daughter bonding on tuesday afternoons after all... but I can;t help but feel that if the school allows you to opt out that there should be some kind of plan for these children.... what if we were muslims or jewish for example?

Ruth2003

Wow! I really don't know what to say! I mean, I totally sympathise but I am so shocked with their attitude I don't know what to write! All I can say it's that it sounds pretty scary and the more I read the more worried I get!
I do hope you can get to the UK this Christmas for your so well-deserved break!
Bestest of luck

Lorna at Vicenza

Indie - not sure how you might want to use this info but I've been having a read of your schools Institute "Service notes" if I've got the right one.

Istituto Comprensivo Statale di scuola dell’Infanzia, Primaria e Secondaria I grado
MARIA MONTESSORI SAN MAURIZIO CANAVESE (TO)

Point 3.2

Particolare impegno inoltre è prestato in tutti gli ordini di scuola per la soluzione delle
problematiche individuali dei singoli allievi, degli studenti stranieri, di quelli eventualmente degenti
negli ospedali e di quelli in situazione di handicap.

http://www.icmariamontessori.sanmaur...SCOLASTICI.pdf


Point 4.1

Gli alunni che non si avvalgono dell’insegnamento della religione cattolica, impartita in tutte le
classi, possono, come da legislazione vigente, svolgere attività alternative o di studio assistito. E’
consentito, ove possibile, l’uscita anticipata dalla scuola con conseguente cessazione del dovere di
vigilanza, con le modalità sopra riportate.

indiebird

Doesn't detail what help though does it Lorna and I don't know of any children with disabilities at the school. Not sure what they do with them tbh. I am hoping that the fact I'm going to the psychologist it shows willing on our part.

Again, it doesn't say what the alternative or supervised study might be. Does it need to be provided by parents for example? I think I might just sign the form and take her out. My reasoning behind not taking her out of school is that her brother is there and if he is already having problems these problems might be made worse if he thinks we are treating her differently. The teachers felt though that as he will be going off to the media next year that I need to be stronger and tell him things will be different for him next year too. I just feel that if I take her out on a tuesday afternoon then his teachers might also see it as a reason for me to not send him in on another morning when it is his lesson and I will be up and down to the school like a flipping yoyo. I just wish that i'd put her in for the damned religion lessons now and not listened to dh.... I don;t feel like he's always much help as it is!!

I dunno, I'm just gonna think about it over xmas and see how I feel after. I need some distance. Nothing is ever straight forward here is it??!!