Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
#226
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
There is a ver valid point Testa Rossa. We have been in Italy for 2 months and hes been in this school for only two weeks. According to the teachers he is the one who bullies the others or rather distracts them during class time! He is trying very hard to understand and learn Italian so Im not sure if he understands what the others are saying to him.
Im not sure anymore as I never had that sort of comment about his behaviour back in England. We had a long chat about the dos and donts at school but I am in shock with it all as he had 2 years and a bit at school back in England without once being put on time out and suddenly, within two weeks hes supposedly turned into a little monster
Im not sure anymore as I never had that sort of comment about his behaviour back in England. We had a long chat about the dos and donts at school but I am in shock with it all as he had 2 years and a bit at school back in England without once being put on time out and suddenly, within two weeks hes supposedly turned into a little monster
I also guess he is in Prima? Seriously consider putting him down into final year Materna if he is. I know a number of English families here that have done this and it works really well. All they do is play, pretty much anyway, it's the year my daughter is now in. He can concentrate on learning to speak Italian without the worry of having to learn to read and write it which he will be doing! If you've already done this then it's not compulsory school in Materna so keep him out a day a week if you can until his confidence here improves - you could even use it to get him some Italian lessons....All just ideas!
#227
Just Joined
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: Modena, Italy
Posts: 26
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
I also guess he is in Prima? Seriously consider putting him down into final year Materna if he is. I know a number of English families here that have done this and it works really well. All they do is play, pretty much anyway, it's the year my daughter is now in. He can concentrate on learning to speak Italian without the worry of having to learn to read and write it which he will be doing! If you've already done this then it's not compulsory school in Materna so keep him out a day a week if you can until his confidence here improves - you could even use it to get him some Italian lessons....All just ideas!
#228
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
Letting him get his feet in Materna might be better than him possibly getting kept back in prima. It doesn't often happen in prima but kids can be kept back at teachers' decision and made to repeat the whole first year again.
Have a google search or ask around for "ludoteca" in your area. These are a bit like after school play centres for young kids. If Alex 3 makes some friends, that will help his Italian considerably.
#229
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
No I don't think he'd be too old. He'd be with kids my daughters age, she is 6 in March. It isn't that unusual and because he is still Prima here rather than year 2 like he is in the UK. The Jan to Jan thing will actually work in his favour in a way. Will he care? He'll be playing and learning a new language! You normally find the Materna teachers are alot kinder too because they are dealing with, to them, Nursery kids. As I say another friend did it with her son and daughter and it worked better for them and they learnt Italian without the pressure of proper lessons!! Worth asking, the Catholic schools are normally pretty good about it, they are here anyway. If anything they might be relieved you want to do this - as Lorna says kids here do get kept back - if he catches up sufficiently and he is bright I'm sure he could then move back up. You can but ask!
#230
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 868
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
When my daughter was in her last year at asilo there was a boy who was kept back and the other children didn't want to play with him. He was just "too big"
She is now at an international school and there are always children who arrive who don't speak English. She has only just turned seven and the children arriving seem to start with the same problems as your son but once they pick up a little of the language (in this case English!) they start to make friends. If its a private school do they offer any extra language help or general support? At our state asilo there are always children with special needs and they come with an extra assistant provided by the education service.
She is now at an international school and there are always children who arrive who don't speak English. She has only just turned seven and the children arriving seem to start with the same problems as your son but once they pick up a little of the language (in this case English!) they start to make friends. If its a private school do they offer any extra language help or general support? At our state asilo there are always children with special needs and they come with an extra assistant provided by the education service.
#231
Just Joined
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: Modena, Italy
Posts: 26
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
Thanks for all the help. I am at my wits end and seriously considering going back to the UK as the experience seems to be be doing him more harm than good. Unfortunatey the school does not offer any extra support. Ironically enough, it's more a case of 'put yourself together, boy!' and get on with it. I feel I am constantly telling him off and today he came out with this statement: 'I don't like myself, Im too naughty'. Im really concerned that I may be causing serious damage to his self-confidence.
I like the idea of putting him back one year but at the same time, it seems unfair to ask him to start all over for the THIRD time. I don't know, and I apologise if I sound like a typical 'poor me' case, but it seems like I have made a terrible mistake in asking him to come over here.
Sorry for the rant!
I like the idea of putting him back one year but at the same time, it seems unfair to ask him to start all over for the THIRD time. I don't know, and I apologise if I sound like a typical 'poor me' case, but it seems like I have made a terrible mistake in asking him to come over here.
Sorry for the rant!
#232
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
Thanks for all the help. I am at my wits end and seriously considering going back to the UK as the experience seems to be be doing him more harm than good. Unfortunatey the school does not offer any extra support. Ironically enough, it's more a case of 'put yourself together, boy!' and get on with it. I feel I am constantly telling him off and today he came out with this statement: 'I don't like myself, Im too naughty'. Im really concerned that I may be causing serious damage to his self-confidence.
I like the idea of putting him back one year but at the same time, it seems unfair to ask him to start all over for the THIRD time. I don't know, and I apologise if I sound like a typical 'poor me' case, but it seems like I have made a terrible mistake in asking him to come over here.
Sorry for the rant!
I like the idea of putting him back one year but at the same time, it seems unfair to ask him to start all over for the THIRD time. I don't know, and I apologise if I sound like a typical 'poor me' case, but it seems like I have made a terrible mistake in asking him to come over here.
Sorry for the rant!
Secondly - try not to despair too much. It's still very early days. Christmas holidays are just around the corner and the break might be just what he needs to unwind and get some school stuff out of his system , relax and be good.
If he thinks he is naughty then praise him to the skies every time he is good.... at least that's what super nanny says.
#233
Just Joined
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: Modena, Italy
Posts: 26
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
Hmm Super nanny lol You definitely brought a smile to my face lol!
#234
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Verona/ Nr Turin
Posts: 4,672
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
We don't mind ranting if it helps you Don't give up so easily. Give it until at least this summer. It takes about 2yrs to settle in. In different ways it's as difficult for Alex as it is for you, but as an adult and you can see the bigger picture. School is so different here (ask Indie) for both of you.
#235
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
Ruth, they let me rant here all the time!! It is early days really it is. As I've said I'm off to the psychologist on thursday, and it has only really been DH who has talked me into not just grabbing my kids and going back to the UK. Dd does very well here and has settled in well but she started Asilo here when she was 4 and was literally speaking italian within weeks. It could be that your son doesn't understand what's going on. However, I have noticed this year at school that she feels that nothing she does is good enough. 37100 will vouch for the fact that she had a major tantrum not cutting up some flipping letters straight last week because she wants everything to be perrrfect. This seems to come from the teachers. There is no praise unless things are 100% brilliant. I know another little boy in the same class who is reading and writing already and yet he still has tantrums when he doesn't get an excellent mark. In the UK teachers know the level of each kid and praise each child based on their capabilities and not the expectations of where children are expected to be.
Ds seems happy on the surface in that he will go to school happily everyday but he just refuses to respect the teachers. I was so embarassed hearing about the things he puts the teachers through that he would never get away with at home. However, I do think that some of it is the 'all or nothing approach' the school has. If he isn't getting 10s for his work then he is bad and stupid..... which of course is not the case... it is only the work he does which isn't up to the standard the teachers are striving for. Therefore he can't be bothered. Why bother when everything you do is wrong cos it isn't perfect? You may as well give up on that and find other ways of making yourself feel good.
This is my assessment anyway. I try and differentiate at home between behaviour and the child. I try not to say 'you naughty boy' for example but instead say something like 'forgetting that book for your homework was not a very clever thing to do was it? In order to do your homework you need to remember that for next time.' It is the behaviour that was misguided not the child.
Hugs and see how you feel after xmas. Are you going back to UK for Christmas? Might do him some good to just have a break from all the italian rubbish for a while....
Ds seems happy on the surface in that he will go to school happily everyday but he just refuses to respect the teachers. I was so embarassed hearing about the things he puts the teachers through that he would never get away with at home. However, I do think that some of it is the 'all or nothing approach' the school has. If he isn't getting 10s for his work then he is bad and stupid..... which of course is not the case... it is only the work he does which isn't up to the standard the teachers are striving for. Therefore he can't be bothered. Why bother when everything you do is wrong cos it isn't perfect? You may as well give up on that and find other ways of making yourself feel good.
This is my assessment anyway. I try and differentiate at home between behaviour and the child. I try not to say 'you naughty boy' for example but instead say something like 'forgetting that book for your homework was not a very clever thing to do was it? In order to do your homework you need to remember that for next time.' It is the behaviour that was misguided not the child.
Hugs and see how you feel after xmas. Are you going back to UK for Christmas? Might do him some good to just have a break from all the italian rubbish for a while....
#236
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Verona/ Nr Turin
Posts: 4,672
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
Na. Didn't think that was a major tantum. Seen a lot, lot worse. You should have seen the one a little boy was having in a shop this morning. Not that I noticed. It was only when the till girl started moaning I realised that everyone was tutting.
#237
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
...except that she was still having it when I got back from taking you home and Jamie was trying to piece together tiny cut up letters to 'humour' her
#238
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Verona/ Nr Turin
Posts: 4,672
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
#239
Just Joined
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: Modena, Italy
Posts: 26
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
Ruth, they let me rant here all the time!! It is early days really it is. As I've said I'm off to the psychologist on thursday, and it has only really been DH who has talked me into not just grabbing my kids and going back to the UK. Dd does very well here and has settled in well but she started Asilo here when she was 4 and was literally speaking italian within weeks. It could be that your son doesn't understand what's going on. However, I have noticed this year at school that she feels that nothing she does is good enough. 37100 will vouch for the fact that she had a major tantrum not cutting up some flipping letters straight last week because she wants everything to be perrrfect. This seems to come from the teachers. There is no praise unless things are 100% brilliant. I know another little boy in the same class who is reading and writing already and yet he still has tantrums when he doesn't get an excellent mark. In the UK teachers know the level of each kid and praise each child based on their capabilities and not the expectations of where children are expected to be.
Ds seems happy on the surface in that he will go to school happily everyday but he just refuses to respect the teachers. I was so embarassed hearing about the things he puts the teachers through that he would never get away with at home. However, I do think that some of it is the 'all or nothing approach' the school has. If he isn't getting 10s for his work then he is bad and stupid..... which of course is not the case... it is only the work he does which isn't up to the standard the teachers are striving for. Therefore he can't be bothered. Why bother when everything you do is wrong cos it isn't perfect? You may as well give up on that and find other ways of making yourself feel good.
This is my assessment anyway. I try and differentiate at home between behaviour and the child. I try not to say 'you naughty boy' for example but instead say something like 'forgetting that book for your homework was not a very clever thing to do was it? In order to do your homework you need to remember that for next time.' It is the behaviour that was misguided not the child.
Hugs and see how you feel after xmas. Are you going back to UK for Christmas? Might do him some good to just have a break from all the italian rubbish for a while....
Ds seems happy on the surface in that he will go to school happily everyday but he just refuses to respect the teachers. I was so embarassed hearing about the things he puts the teachers through that he would never get away with at home. However, I do think that some of it is the 'all or nothing approach' the school has. If he isn't getting 10s for his work then he is bad and stupid..... which of course is not the case... it is only the work he does which isn't up to the standard the teachers are striving for. Therefore he can't be bothered. Why bother when everything you do is wrong cos it isn't perfect? You may as well give up on that and find other ways of making yourself feel good.
This is my assessment anyway. I try and differentiate at home between behaviour and the child. I try not to say 'you naughty boy' for example but instead say something like 'forgetting that book for your homework was not a very clever thing to do was it? In order to do your homework you need to remember that for next time.' It is the behaviour that was misguided not the child.
Hugs and see how you feel after xmas. Are you going back to UK for Christmas? Might do him some good to just have a break from all the italian rubbish for a while....
I do hope it all goes well with your son, although, without wanting to sound negative, I dont think he needs a psychologist, just some extra support and reassurance from the teachers.
I may be wrong but it seems to be a trend here. A friend of mine has a 12 year old boy who is slightly immature and shy for his age. He finds it difficult to make friends. Their answer was to send him to a psychologist!!! Cant understand why, I mean I was a very shy child myself but nevertheless, mentally healthy and capable! I think psychologists must be the wealthiest people in Italy.
Still keeping fingers and toes crossed for you!
#240
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Verona/ Nr Turin
Posts: 4,672
Re: Schools, teachers, kids and parents. Education in general.
I think you are absolutely spot on there! That is exactly it! If its not perfect then its rubbish! I have decided to give it until Xmas and then think seriously about going back to the UK. We're spending Xmas here so we'll see.
I do hope it all goes well with your son, although, without wanting to sound negative, I dont think he needs a psychologist, just some extra support and reassurance from the teachers.
I may be wrong but it seems to be a trend here. A friend of mine has a 12 year old boy who is slightly immature and shy for his age. He finds it difficult to make friends. Their answer was to send him to a psychologist!!! Cant understand why, I mean I was a very shy child myself but nevertheless, mentally healthy and capable! I think psychologists must be the wealthiest people in Italy.
Still keeping fingers and toes crossed for you!
I do hope it all goes well with your son, although, without wanting to sound negative, I dont think he needs a psychologist, just some extra support and reassurance from the teachers.
I may be wrong but it seems to be a trend here. A friend of mine has a 12 year old boy who is slightly immature and shy for his age. He finds it difficult to make friends. Their answer was to send him to a psychologist!!! Cant understand why, I mean I was a very shy child myself but nevertheless, mentally healthy and capable! I think psychologists must be the wealthiest people in Italy.
Still keeping fingers and toes crossed for you!