mandymoochops

Right them, stop trying and start doing.

Work out the cost of a fact finding mission to Lethbridge.

Call your buddy (tell him you promise not to be a snivelling wreck when you get here) ask him if you can come and crash for a few weeks.

On the first night go out and have a dam good laugh and then spend the rest of the time researching and networking til you are blue in the face.

People here will help with tips on how to do it and where to go.

And bish bash bosh you will instantly start feeling better and the acting strong won't be acting anymore, because you will BE strong

Bloc75

Well I think at the moment I am drifting from house to house.

I don't have a fixed abode at the moment, but hoping to find somewhere this week. I can then get my cat with me, and then I can probably start thinking about the rest of my life.

mandymoochops

I'm gonna be really blunt here and ask - do YOU really want to move to Canada, or as was indicated in your first post, you think that if you have a possibility of moving your ex will want you back because thats what she wanted????

If thats the case - totally wrong way to look at things and once more another case of "I'll do anything to get you back - look at me I'm broken but i'll do this for you?"

Here comes an insight into women ................

The don't like guys that are lapdogs (unless hey are seriously rich and about 85 years old). We like to feel loved and protected and safe - not having to be emotional leaning posts for wimps.

If you want her back then really really man up.

If theres no chance of that and you know for sure its over, you still have to man up for all the previous reasons.

Bloc75

I want a new life.

I wanted to move to Canada before my ex suggested it, but it turns out she wanted to move as it may have helped our relationship, but then she decided she didn't want to.

She's not coming back, its ended. It's been just over a week since my life was torn apart.

Your also right, I do need to man up. I'm no wimp, I'm usually a strong person.

This isn't like me, but having my life torn apart is not nice.

The plan is to find somewhere, a base. Somewhere I can now save up for my future.

I am fairly positive, just having a 'am I too old' moment. Which I know is pathetic.

Hopefully this time next week I will be a lot different.

angelic applicant

give your head a wobble hun, ive just turned 38 and going out there on my on own....i kid you not theres lots of ups n downs and lots of should i shouldnt i moments but if its what you want then do it.
my mind set is if i dont do it ill never know....if i dont like it ill come home but id rather try then think what if......

Bloc75

consider it wobbled.

mandymoochops

Good on ya -

angelic applicant

wahey.....get busy....updates expected

MillieF

I could not but agree with Mandymoochops 1000%. You are miserable and need a holiday. You can't think of the future or plan anything from that perspective, you just go round and round in circles which is miserable. Go to Lethbridge for a visit, it will give you chance to breathe and look at life differently. Best of luck.

Bloc75

Yeah I went to Lethbridge last summer, and going again this December.

At the moment I am more concerned about getting a place to live temporarily with my cat or cats if possible. Then once I've got myself some anchor, normality, I can then plan for the future.

izzi81

My partner and I made it through the application process last year, and are moving out to Canada early next year. I'll be 37, he'll be 40. There's no way I'm going to allow myself to think 'too much of my life is over, might as well just stay here'! You can re-invent your life whenever you want, but you have to want it.

One thing I did want to point out, mainly because you posted a link to a consultancy website early on, is that you can most likely apply by yourself, without using a consultant, and save yourself a fair bit of cash. Hopefully you're thinking this anyway, but if you get to the budgeting stage you don't *have* to factor in their £2000+ fees!

Bloc75

Wasn't considering paying a middle man for this. I don't do that with anything else in my life so I'll probably be doing it myself.

judeyjudey

The way we are thinking is, if we don't try and try and try then we will always wonder what if. So we are going to fight to have a new life for ourselves.
Go on holiday, explore your options and get those wheels in motion and you and your moggies can start a new chapter in your life

Howefamily

This is all very good advise, can I just add -
currently you probably feel completely out of control with this turn of events. You cant control this situation re your wife.
BUT you can control this. You can control pursuing this new life. That alone will make you feel stronger and every minute that ticks by gets you closer to waking up happy again.

wonderwoman1st

I applied for a job here in Canada while still in the U.K and 3 months later was on the plane to Vancouver with a job lined up. I came on a work permit but in hindsight wish I'd gone and applied for the permanent residency instead.
Even though I got my permanent residence status within a year as the employer stated I was needed in the letter required to immigration, if I had got my permanent residency first hand before coming over it would have meant I could have claimed my moving fees via the tax return over here in Canada, a Canadian friend helped me complete my tax return and CRA said they couldn't refund me as I was not a permanent resident at that point, although I did get a relocation package included in my employment contract that I had to work a full year with no leave, full time, even though that was worth it.. never again would I want to work like that (shift work too). I am a Nurse.

My advice is definitely get a job lined up first if you can so you get the costs of moving there refunded mostly after your move via your employer. If you can that is. As a skilled worker you already have a foot in the door and as others have said you won't have a problem finding work in your field, even running your own business, easier here than in the U.K from what I have seen.
I had a life changing experience too, though was here already, my little boy came along while I was living here in Canada 2 yrs later, my ex (remained in the U.K too and unfortunately on finding out a little too late, a player, told me before he'd not rule out moving to Canada, but later chose to deny he said it. End of the day though, I am really happy here and so is my child. I'd still not want to move back to the U.K long term after living here, for one thing I am never bored here compared to how I felt in the U.K and the pay is much better for me here too!

Good luck