My small circle of close friends are all wealthy people....in Thailand you are known as "Cheap Charlies" PMSL.
Enjoy your chocolate eclairs...:loll:...just think what you could do with all those 1 ruppee coins!.

Nokiauser

pmsl means pi**sed myself laughing apparently. I hate these abbreviations -makes me feel old and in a few years everyone will be talking in acronyms (i.e. total gibberish). Mind you, I have found myself using lol. lol

Thanks for the explanation of pmsl - I hate these abbreviations total gibberish and a lazy way of corresponding. But then text talk is just as bad.

Thought it stood for "pre-menstrual stress lives!"


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It's the sort of abbreviation kids use on sites like "Twatter".

Twitter! never looked at it.

Noni - we are soul sisters! I always text in full (although I hate doing it, as I prefer to actually talk to someone), rarely use abbreviations, mainly because I don't know any apart from lol, and have never been on Twitter either. What a waste of time that would be.

To get back to Newtons, busy today with a mixture of locals, Russians spending 4000 rps on herbs and honey (what was that all about) and an English lady who shouted very loudly "I will not accept a sweet". I went in for very soft loo rolls (don't ask)!!!! They cost a lot more but sometimes needs must. Fortunately they do not need a sell by date.

If you have a vehicle try Gaspers cheaper even than local shops, the toilet paper is 15 rups a packet cheaper - and sometimes we need quite a lot don't we!!

Casper is just past Nerul, and has quite a few things cheaper than Newtons, it is the brother of AJ's mapusa. Good meat, sausages and burgers.

When in Rome........ Indians think that toilet paper is a cheap form of table napkins...........If you have a tap next to the pan, connect a piece of hosepipe to it with a jet spray nozzle........Very cheap and much more pleasurable than toilet paper believe me...............My parents told me to never take sweets from anybody or i could be in grave danger..............Last but not least my wife says i always talk gibberish.

P.S. Young Indians especially Kashmirs often refer to wealthy middle aged Europeans as Antique Pussy (does anybody know what that means????)

Remember it always ends in TEARS. .....T.F.N.

Brilliant - what do the Kashmiris call old wealthy ladies?

Would not buy from them anyway.

I was thinking the same thing, the hose is now usually fitted on modern (Indian) toilets, more hygienic and better for the environment. Also useful for cleaning the loo you can swirl it right round.

Sorry did not make clear....... They are refering to the FEMALE wealthy European otherwise it would be VINTAGE. Just as gullable to the sweetalk but not as Wealthy? I must admit they are good so no jealousy there.......

always ends in tears. Metal Miky is a good example of a GOAN knowing which side of his bread is buttered.

OK, not sure how a thread on Newtons Daylight Robbery centre managed to get here...........but we are finally here;


The Bum Spray!

So lets make the most of presumably informed sources and ask a few questions?

1) You walk into an immaculate "Indian" toilet, have a cr*p, and then realise your only option is the bum spray.
OK, cool, you know the drill (roughly), and hose your freckle............
now comes my first question - do I trust the "jetwash"? If not, what do I do to ensure a thorough cleansing? Does this involve active dgital agitation? (ooooooh)

2) Having inflicted this procedure on the autre end, as recommended (no comment on the "hands-on" aspect), it has to be assumed that yer boom (for the benefit of those north of Watford) is damp, nay wet?

3) So what now? Wet botty, no bogroll, no towel, no bleedin nothing! So what to do? Rub your bum on the wall till its dry? Locate the sun and go for evaporation, Search your pocket/handbag for tissues? Pray for heavy gales?

As I typed this I could feel you ladies thinking " Whats the problem? "

Well, us guys dont tend to be as well ventilated, and pulling yer trousers up over a wet bum is not appealing..............looks like you've p*ssed yerself!

In case the thread has been lost.............fine to wash it, but how the hell do you dry it?

I've asked that many Indians, Goa and UK, and still cant get a sensible answer.................

Just found your post as switched off a frightening 'midsomer murder' how sad are we!! so asked the other half what does he do?
(1) you always have your cr** before your shower, so therefore you have a towel.
(2) If not at home; most men wear underpants so pulling them up will dry the b**.
Hope this helps!!

Well to end the toilet humour - I now know after many years why when in the Delhi Darbar waiting for the ladies loo to be vacant. (You all know the tiny place men and women together wait in, along with the toilet attendant). We were squashed in there a man came out of the gents, undies and trousers in his hand and then bent down in front of us all parts exposed, a real full moon, meat and two brown veg to put on his undies and trousers. Of course, there is no room in the waiting area to swing a cat, or his ............ Must say we all screamed laughing, even the toilet attendant ran out to tell his mates. Do I call him a dirty old Indian or a clean one?