Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Canada > Canniversary
Reload this Page >

Still Homesick after a year!

Still Homesick after a year!

Old Dec 16th 2013, 10:59 pm
  #1  
Fancy a Cuppa?
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 438
Rosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond repute
Default Still Homesick after a year!

We moved just after New Year 2013. The first 2 months were OK.

I had my first bout of Homesickness around 3/4 months in which lasted for several weeks. Then another around 7 months and another at 9/10. Everyone keeps saying "hang in there, it takes time". But far from feeling better, it seems to be gaining momentum! This last bout has been for a month now.
I know it Christmas, and that doesn't help. But I wake up with that dread realization that I'm still here.

It's not even like I ever thought that Britain was great, but I'm missing stuff I never thought much about. Church bells, watching the kids Nativitys, Roasted chestnuts from the village fair. Blustery walks along the beach. Walking to the pub and seeing people's christmas trees through the small cottage windows!

Vancouver is a big city, and I'm from a Chocolate box Sussex village!
Maybe it was never going to work.

I never realized how great the NHS was till I lived here. I have been in 5 different UK hospitals, and they were all quite light, spacious, clean, pleasant environments. My first hospital here was a shock. Small bays, dirty, old equipment, peeling walls, and no chairs anywhere!

This feels like a far more cutthroat society, I believe there is more opportunity here, and more things to enjoy, but if you don't make it well financially, then you can't enjoy what's there. We've been at the bottom in the UK, and the bottom here, and there is definitely less backup support here, even for citizens. And don't get me started on the BC Car Insurance!!!!

There is loads of stuff that I like here, Skiing, the mountains, the accessability to launch in the water. Ikea on the doorstep. The things that I thought I would value though, like having a larger house, just don't seem that important.

This is a young persons country, and I know I would not want to retire here!
I feel guilty for trooping the whole family over here, and then potentially trooping them back. I know it can't get any worse than it is now, but if it doesn't get any better, or if its just going to carry on, then isnt it time to call it a day, and chalk it all down to experience?
Rosie Lee is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 2:21 am
  #2  
Henry Bear
 
Piff Poff's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Red Deer, Alberta
Posts: 10,566
Piff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

I would say, reading your post, that you need to sit down with your husband and have a serious talk about where your going to be in 5 years. Vancouver doesn't seem to be working for you. I have gone from loving where we moved to, to liking, to, OK this is not where I want to spend the rest of my life, thankfully my OH feels the same, we are now researching where we do want to be.

I feel for you, it's not a nice place to be mentally if your just not happy where you are.
Piff Poff is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 2:52 am
  #3  
Fancy a Cuppa?
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 438
Rosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

Originally Posted by Piff Poff View Post
I would say, reading your post, that you need to sit down with your husband and have a serious talk about where your going to be in 5 years. Vancouver doesn't seem to be working for you. I have gone from loving where we moved to, to liking, to, OK this is not where I want to spend the rest of my life, thankfully my OH feels the same, we are now researching where we do want to be.

I feel for you, it's not a nice place to be mentally if your just not happy where you are.
Thanks Piff Poff. We have had talks, and although he would prefer to stay, he's also not as into it, as much as he thought he would be. It's been a hard slog year and we would both have stayed where we were in England if we knew just how hard it was going to be. We have made the decision to return, just don't know when!
Rosie Lee is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 3:02 am
  #4  
BE user by choice
 
MillieF's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2010
Location: A Briton, married to a Canadian, now in Fredericton.
Posts: 4,854
MillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

Thank you for a great and honest post, a few items you mention feel very close to home.

Why did you come here in the first place? You must remember the spirit of 'something' that got you all into the unknown in the first place? You must have thought that something was going to be better than the 'dreadful' UK, else you wouldn't have left?
MillieF is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 3:09 am
  #5  
Born again atheist
 
Novocastrian's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Europe (to be specified).
Posts: 30,259
Novocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

Originally Posted by MillieF View Post
Why did you come here in the first place? You must have thought that something was going to be better than the 'dreadful' UK, else you wouldn't have left?
Quite. I think a chocolate village in Sussex must be unbearable.
Novocastrian is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 3:29 am
  #6  
Fancy a Cuppa?
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 438
Rosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

Originally Posted by MillieF View Post
Thank you for a great and honest post, a few items you mention feel very close to home.

Why did you come here in the first place? You must remember the spirit of 'something' that got you all into the unknown in the first place? You must have thought that something was going to be better than the 'dreadful' UK, else you wouldn't have left?
Having married a Canadian 20 years ago, it was always a possibility for us, but not one I was willing to make until more recently. It was our last chance to go if we were ever going to, and I didn't want to regret never having tried!
I do like it here, and I've made a lot of friends. If we came from somewhere Urban like Manchester, I'm sure we'd feel differently!
Rosie Lee is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 5:56 am
  #7  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: May 2010
Location: north vancouver
Posts: 49
sparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nice
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

Hey,

I know where you are coming from. I miss Brighton and Sussex!! I work here in A&E and oh my god do I miss my old a&E department in Brighton!

The homesickness was terrible we moved in dec last year. We visited uk in oct this year and with in 30 mins I knew that that's were I wanted to be.

Don't get me wrong there are some lovely things to do and see in Canada but it's not for us and have decided to head back home, flights booked we leave in march.

Do what's right for you! We have no regrets and it's been an amazing adventure. We have learnt that the grass isn't always greener and we appreciate what we have in the uk in way of friends and family and sense of belonging.

Thanks for the post it's good to know I'm not the only crazy one that doesn't LoVE it here.

Jodie xxxxx
sparksman is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 6:13 am
  #8  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 128
rebecca1986 has a reputation beyond reputerebecca1986 has a reputation beyond reputerebecca1986 has a reputation beyond reputerebecca1986 has a reputation beyond reputerebecca1986 has a reputation beyond reputerebecca1986 has a reputation beyond reputerebecca1986 has a reputation beyond reputerebecca1986 has a reputation beyond reputerebecca1986 has a reputation beyond reputerebecca1986 has a reputation beyond reputerebecca1986 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

I'm so sorry you feel this way, there is nothing worse than homesickness and the feeling that you just don't belong, I'm sure we've all been there.

You're most definitely not alone. I can tell you that within the first 2 years, I also found myself questioning the decision to uproot and leave everything I had to start from the bottom again... but when people say it takes a few years to feel settled, it's most definitely true. I'm almost 3 years in and life is only just starting to get back on track again, but it's not a decision I regret.

Where about are you living? Maybe it might make a difference if you tried somewhere else? I love Vancouver, but I could not live there and I come from a Liverpool which is a decent size city! Way too busy and cramped for my liking. I live on the outskirts in Langley and it has a lovely community feel to it... the people who talk bad about it should come and live here, it's a lovely place to be and a lovely place for a family to live.

In regards to hospitals, I agree depending on which one you went to! I have spent some time working at St Paul's, Burnaby General and Langley Memorial and some where nicer than others!

I hope whatever decision you make makes you happy! But just wanted to let you know that although right now life feels like it's not going to get any better, it really does!
rebecca1986 is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 6:22 am
  #9  
Somewhere rather noisy .
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Below
Posts: 37,869
BEVS has a reputation beyond reputeBEVS has a reputation beyond reputeBEVS has a reputation beyond reputeBEVS has a reputation beyond reputeBEVS has a reputation beyond reputeBEVS has a reputation beyond reputeBEVS has a reputation beyond reputeBEVS has a reputation beyond reputeBEVS has a reputation beyond reputeBEVS has a reputation beyond reputeBEVS has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

Originally Posted by Novocastrian View Post
Quite. I think a chocolate village in Sussex must be unbearable.

Ratbag Total ratbag.

No consolation whatsoever but I think many of the BE forums hear the same.

Homesickness is a rotten thing . I've had it and do get it on and off. I've been gone 10 year now too.

We have it here on the New Zealand forum too. Mind you , we are the back end of beyond and it is a flippin' mortgage and days out of your life to get out of the place.

What I would say to you as someone who moved to the farthest point possible, is to understand that this feeling will happen to you. It comes in waves . Thing is , I really do think it takes more than a year to settle down. For some far less. For some far more.

One year is early days . Very early days and this time of year can be tough. Ride it and review come next summer perhaps.
BEVS is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 2:35 pm
  #10  
Henry Bear
 
Piff Poff's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Red Deer, Alberta
Posts: 10,566
Piff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond reputePiff Poff has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

From the OP's post, it doesn't sound to me like a little pang of homesickness that's been happening.maybe a different location wold have worked better and as for me, the longer we are here the more I miss things. We are hoping that maybe Ontario for us will be a happy medium as now neither of us feel that we will feel 'at home' back in the UK.

I do feel, IF a person has given it their best shot i.e. not decided in the first 3 months that they are going home, then a year is sufficient. I do know of people that have said after the 1st 3 months, I don't like it I'm going back after a year and then not tried. You have to try.
Piff Poff is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 4:29 pm
  #11  
Fancy a Cuppa?
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 438
Rosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

Originally Posted by sparksman View Post
Hey,

I know where you are coming from. I miss Brighton and Sussex!! I work here in A&E and oh my god do I miss my old a&E department in Brighton!

The homesickness was terrible we moved in dec last year. We visited uk in oct this year and with in 30 mins I knew that that's were I wanted to be.

Don't get me wrong there are some lovely things to do and see in Canada but it's not for us and have decided to head back home, flights booked we leave in march.

Do what's right for you! We have no regrets and it's been an amazing adventure. We have learnt that the grass isn't always greener and we appreciate what we have in the uk in way of friends and family and sense of belonging.

Thanks for the post it's good to know I'm not the only crazy one that doesn't LoVE it here.

Jodie xxxxx
Hey, I agree, it's the sense of belonging and familiarity that's missed the most. Stuff you dont even recognise as being there, until they arnt! Are you heading back to Brighton area again?
Rosie Lee is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 7:04 pm
  #12  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: May 2010
Location: north vancouver
Posts: 49
sparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nicesparksman is just really nice
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

Prob not Brighton but the outskirts maybe henfield or hassocks. But maybe work in Brighton x
Do you think you will head back? X
sparksman is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 7:31 pm
  #13  
Fancy a Cuppa?
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 438
Rosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

Originally Posted by rebecca1986 View Post
I'm so sorry you feel this way, there is nothing worse than homesickness and the feeling that you just don't belong, I'm sure we've all been there.

You're most definitely not alone. I can tell you that within the first 2 years, I also found myself questioning the decision to uproot and leave everything I had to start from the bottom again... but when people say it takes a few years to feel settled, it's most definitely true. I'm almost 3 years in and life is only just starting to get back on track again, but it's not a decision I regret.

Where about are you living? Maybe it might make a difference if you tried somewhere else? I love Vancouver, but I could not live there and I come from a Liverpool which is a decent size city! Way too busy and cramped for my liking. I live on the outskirts in Langley and it has a lovely community feel to it... the people who talk bad about it should come and live here, it's a lovely place to be and a lovely place for a family to live.

In regards to hospitals, I agree depending on which one you went to! I have spent some time working at St Paul's, Burnaby General and Langley Memorial and some where nicer than others!

I hope whatever decision you make makes you happy! But just wanted to let you know that although right now life feels like it's not going to get any better, it really does!
Burnaby General!!! I've spoken to a number of people about this, and the consensus was pretty much
We are near Port moody, really great community here, and I've met some lovely people. I know someone who's been here 4 years, and in the first 2years would have left at a moments notice! She returned for the first time just recently and says theres no way she would move back now.
We had a long discussion last night, and have decided to go back for a visit some time in the new year.
Rosie Lee is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 7:40 pm
  #14  
Fancy a Cuppa?
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 438
Rosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond reputeRosie Lee has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

Originally Posted by sparksman View Post
Prob not Brighton but the outskirts maybe henfield or hassocks. But maybe work in Brighton x
Do you think you will head back? X
We are from Steyning, very close! We will be taking a trip back soon and see what happens. I'm not ready to throw the towel in yet, even if we go for a trip and decide to move back, there are things I still want to do and take advantage of while we're here.
Rosie Lee is offline  
Old Dec 17th 2013, 8:16 pm
  #15  
BE user by choice
 
MillieF's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2010
Location: A Briton, married to a Canadian, now in Fredericton.
Posts: 4,854
MillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond reputeMillieF has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Still Homesick after a year!

Originally Posted by Rosie Lee View Post
Having married a Canadian 20 years ago, it was always a possibility for us, but not one I was willing to make until more recently.
Say no more Rosie, you are totally allowed to be miserable and homesick...you married a Canadian! I have that particular tee-shirt, and it isn't always the best fit! Also, if you are having a particularly 'oh poop' day, you can't really say "really" horrid nasty unfair things because you've just trashed the poor man's nation, and that of your children...(that doesn't mean I haven't done it!)

What does your husband think? Is he happy to be back? I discovered a while back that my husband really thought I was going to leave him last winter I was pretty fed up with both the country and particularly the weather, but I'd never actually considered jumping ship! It made me realise how important it was to clearly communicate! I get cross, but I'm not 'that' shallow!

I do look with awe and amazement at the time and persistence that some families devote to the task of moving to Canada that they do, they deserve to get here and be happy as they have tried so very hard. By comparison losing your heart does indeed grant you a faster immigration route, but it isn't always the easiest solution.

I am starting to feel better about living here, but I'm quite a few months in advance of you....hang on a bit, you might start finding your equilibrium, especially after the Christmas season has passed and life becomes more normal...very best of luck!
MillieF is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2023 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.