Still Homesick after a year!
Dec 17th 2013, 10:44 pm
#16
Fancy a Cuppa?
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 438
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
Millie
My husband lived in England for 24 years, so he feels more English than Canadian. He doesn't relish the idea of moving again and would prefer to stay, but only because International moves are so stressful, time consuming, and costly. He too has had pangs of homesickness and misses English culture. It's interesting that you had a hard time last winter, which would have been about the same time as me now. There might be something in that.
My husband lived in England for 24 years, so he feels more English than Canadian. He doesn't relish the idea of moving again and would prefer to stay, but only because International moves are so stressful, time consuming, and costly. He too has had pangs of homesickness and misses English culture. It's interesting that you had a hard time last winter, which would have been about the same time as me now. There might be something in that.
Dec 18th 2013, 7:06 am
#17
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 271
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
I'm in Canada for 15 months now, and am so homesick it is making me sick.
I want to move back, but hubby wants to stay. Biggest mistake of my life.
Anyone know how to make him change his mind?
I want to move back, but hubby wants to stay. Biggest mistake of my life.
Anyone know how to make him change his mind?
Dec 18th 2013, 9:03 am
#18
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Joined: Oct 2010
Location: A Briton, married to a Canadian, now in Fredericton.
Posts: 4,854
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
No Delta, I can't imagine how dreadful it is for one partner to be living somewhere they don't like at all....would he perhaps consider moving from Canada for parts of the year...might that be possible?
Dec 18th 2013, 3:51 pm
#19
slanderer of the innocent
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 6,695
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
delta, if you're that miserable he should be open to moving back. good luck with it.
Dec 18th 2013, 3:54 pm
#20
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 271
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
We are in negotiations....
But for the record, I'm the only one at the table just yet.
It will turn out one way or another.
It would help a lot if he were to stay home. He retred early when he maxed out his pension. but within three months he was back at work consulting. He's gone two weeks our of four.
So I'm stuck in this Gd forsaken place whilst he is at home in the UK. In spite of no debt, a nice final salary scheme pension and six figures in the bank, he says we need the money. I don't understand that. What is it with men and money?
Anyway, thanks for commiserating. Maybe the house will burn down or something. ( kidding.)
But for the record, I'm the only one at the table just yet.
It will turn out one way or another.
It would help a lot if he were to stay home. He retred early when he maxed out his pension. but within three months he was back at work consulting. He's gone two weeks our of four.
So I'm stuck in this Gd forsaken place whilst he is at home in the UK. In spite of no debt, a nice final salary scheme pension and six figures in the bank, he says we need the money. I don't understand that. What is it with men and money?
Anyway, thanks for commiserating. Maybe the house will burn down or something. ( kidding.)
Last edited by deltadeliquent; Dec 18th 2013 at 3:58 pm.
Dec 18th 2013, 4:50 pm
#21
slanderer of the innocent
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 6,695
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
We are in negotiations....
But for the record, I'm the only one at the table just yet.
It will turn out one way or another.
It would help a lot if he were to stay home. He retred early when he maxed out his pension. but within three months he was back at work consulting. He's gone two weeks our of four.
So I'm stuck in this Gd forsaken place whilst he is at home in the UK. In spite of no debt, a nice final salary scheme pension and six figures in the bank, he says we need the money. I don't understand that. What is it with men and money?
Anyway, thanks for commiserating. Maybe the house will burn down or something. ( kidding.)
But for the record, I'm the only one at the table just yet.
It will turn out one way or another.
It would help a lot if he were to stay home. He retred early when he maxed out his pension. but within three months he was back at work consulting. He's gone two weeks our of four.
So I'm stuck in this Gd forsaken place whilst he is at home in the UK. In spite of no debt, a nice final salary scheme pension and six figures in the bank, he says we need the money. I don't understand that. What is it with men and money?
Anyway, thanks for commiserating. Maybe the house will burn down or something. ( kidding.)
Dec 18th 2013, 5:03 pm
#22
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 271
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
I think it would help, but not cure the problem.
I destroyed my nice interesting life in the UK to have a stupefyingly boring one here.
I traded four seasons and bright green fields for dark green evergreen tress that never change.
I traded interesting work (high school teacher) for no work at all.
I traded weekends of rose gardening and visiting interesting historical places, beautiful places, for sitting only tuckuss watching British TV (when I can get it).
I traded conversations about politics, current events, philosophy, religion, etc for conversations about how the garden is doing this year. Oh and how Organic food is the best.
Now my husband is so full of the power tool toting, log splitting with an axe, building his own shed type of pioneer, self sufficient, Walden Pond type of thing that he is boring too.
I live in a hole in the ground, now.
Sorry for being such a sad sack. I've had a very difficult time in Canada.
I destroyed my nice interesting life in the UK to have a stupefyingly boring one here.
I traded four seasons and bright green fields for dark green evergreen tress that never change.
I traded interesting work (high school teacher) for no work at all.
I traded weekends of rose gardening and visiting interesting historical places, beautiful places, for sitting only tuckuss watching British TV (when I can get it).
I traded conversations about politics, current events, philosophy, religion, etc for conversations about how the garden is doing this year. Oh and how Organic food is the best.
Now my husband is so full of the power tool toting, log splitting with an axe, building his own shed type of pioneer, self sufficient, Walden Pond type of thing that he is boring too.
I live in a hole in the ground, now.
Sorry for being such a sad sack. I've had a very difficult time in Canada.
Dec 18th 2013, 5:32 pm
#23
slanderer of the innocent
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 6,695
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
I think it would help, but not cure the problem.
I destroyed my nice interesting life in the UK to have a stupefyingly boring one here.
I traded four seasons and bright green fields for dark green evergreen tress that never change.
I traded interesting work (high school teacher) for no work at all.
I traded weekends of rose gardening and visiting interesting historical places, beautiful places, for sitting only tuckuss watching British TV (when I can get it).
I traded conversations about politics, current events, philosophy, religion, etc for conversations about how the garden is doing this year. Oh and how Organic food is the best.
Now my husband is so full of the power tool toting, log splitting with an axe, building his own shed type of pioneer, self sufficient, Walden Pond type of thing that he is boring too.
I live in a hole in the ground, now.
Sorry for being such a sad sack. I've had a very difficult time in Canada.
I destroyed my nice interesting life in the UK to have a stupefyingly boring one here.
I traded four seasons and bright green fields for dark green evergreen tress that never change.
I traded interesting work (high school teacher) for no work at all.
I traded weekends of rose gardening and visiting interesting historical places, beautiful places, for sitting only tuckuss watching British TV (when I can get it).
I traded conversations about politics, current events, philosophy, religion, etc for conversations about how the garden is doing this year. Oh and how Organic food is the best.
Now my husband is so full of the power tool toting, log splitting with an axe, building his own shed type of pioneer, self sufficient, Walden Pond type of thing that he is boring too.
I live in a hole in the ground, now.
Sorry for being such a sad sack. I've had a very difficult time in Canada.
Dec 18th 2013, 8:48 pm
#24
`
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,611
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
I think it would help, but not cure the problem.
I destroyed my nice interesting life in the UK to have a stupefyingly boring one here.
I traded four seasons and bright green fields for dark green evergreen tress that never change.
I traded interesting work (high school teacher) for no work at all.
I traded weekends of rose gardening and visiting interesting historical places, beautiful places, for sitting only tuckuss watching British TV (when I can get it).
I traded conversations about politics, current events, philosophy, religion, etc for conversations about how the garden is doing this year. Oh and how Organic food is the best.
Now my husband is so full of the power tool toting, log splitting with an axe, building his own shed type of pioneer, self sufficient, Walden Pond type of thing that he is boring too.
I live in a hole in the ground, now.
Sorry for being such a sad sack. I've had a very difficult time in Canada.
I destroyed my nice interesting life in the UK to have a stupefyingly boring one here.
I traded four seasons and bright green fields for dark green evergreen tress that never change.
I traded interesting work (high school teacher) for no work at all.
I traded weekends of rose gardening and visiting interesting historical places, beautiful places, for sitting only tuckuss watching British TV (when I can get it).
I traded conversations about politics, current events, philosophy, religion, etc for conversations about how the garden is doing this year. Oh and how Organic food is the best.
Now my husband is so full of the power tool toting, log splitting with an axe, building his own shed type of pioneer, self sufficient, Walden Pond type of thing that he is boring too.
I live in a hole in the ground, now.
Sorry for being such a sad sack. I've had a very difficult time in Canada.
Dec 19th 2013, 9:04 am
#25
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 33
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
We moved just after New Year 2013. The first 2 months were OK.
I had my first bout of Homesickness around 3/4 months in which lasted for several weeks. Then another around 7 months and another at 9/10. Everyone keeps saying "hang in there, it takes time". But far from feeling better, it seems to be gaining momentum! This last bout has been for a month now.
I know it Christmas, and that doesn't help. But I wake up with that dread realization that I'm still here.
It's not even like I ever thought that Britain was great, but I'm missing stuff I never thought much about. Church bells, watching the kids Nativitys, Roasted chestnuts from the village fair. Blustery walks along the beach. Walking to the pub and seeing people's christmas trees through the small cottage windows!
Vancouver is a big city, and I'm from a Chocolate box Sussex village!
Maybe it was never going to work.
I never realized how great the NHS was till I lived here. I have been in 5 different UK hospitals, and they were all quite light, spacious, clean, pleasant environments. My first hospital here was a shock. Small bays, dirty, old equipment, peeling walls, and no chairs anywhere!
This feels like a far more cutthroat society, I believe there is more opportunity here, and more things to enjoy, but if you don't make it well financially, then you can't enjoy what's there. We've been at the bottom in the UK, and the bottom here, and there is definitely less backup support here, even for citizens. And don't get me started on the BC Car Insurance!!!!
There is loads of stuff that I like here, Skiing, the mountains, the accessability to launch in the water. Ikea on the doorstep. The things that I thought I would value though, like having a larger house, just don't seem that important.
This is a young persons country, and I know I would not want to retire here!
I feel guilty for trooping the whole family over here, and then potentially trooping them back. I know it can't get any worse than it is now, but if it doesn't get any better, or if its just going to carry on, then isnt it time to call it a day, and chalk it all down to experience?
I had my first bout of Homesickness around 3/4 months in which lasted for several weeks. Then another around 7 months and another at 9/10. Everyone keeps saying "hang in there, it takes time". But far from feeling better, it seems to be gaining momentum! This last bout has been for a month now.
I know it Christmas, and that doesn't help. But I wake up with that dread realization that I'm still here.
It's not even like I ever thought that Britain was great, but I'm missing stuff I never thought much about. Church bells, watching the kids Nativitys, Roasted chestnuts from the village fair. Blustery walks along the beach. Walking to the pub and seeing people's christmas trees through the small cottage windows!
Vancouver is a big city, and I'm from a Chocolate box Sussex village!
Maybe it was never going to work.
I never realized how great the NHS was till I lived here. I have been in 5 different UK hospitals, and they were all quite light, spacious, clean, pleasant environments. My first hospital here was a shock. Small bays, dirty, old equipment, peeling walls, and no chairs anywhere!
This feels like a far more cutthroat society, I believe there is more opportunity here, and more things to enjoy, but if you don't make it well financially, then you can't enjoy what's there. We've been at the bottom in the UK, and the bottom here, and there is definitely less backup support here, even for citizens. And don't get me started on the BC Car Insurance!!!!
There is loads of stuff that I like here, Skiing, the mountains, the accessability to launch in the water. Ikea on the doorstep. The things that I thought I would value though, like having a larger house, just don't seem that important.
This is a young persons country, and I know I would not want to retire here!
I feel guilty for trooping the whole family over here, and then potentially trooping them back. I know it can't get any worse than it is now, but if it doesn't get any better, or if its just going to carry on, then isnt it time to call it a day, and chalk it all down to experience?
Just to say you are not alone!
I feel exactly the same way as you after 5/6 years here just outside Calgary.
Unfortunately I was the instigator of our family's move over here for the old old promise of 'a better life for the kids'. I just couldn't take the rose tinted glasses off when we were back in the UK. Now I look back and think how good we had it! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.
My hubbie and I would move back in a flash - the main pull being family in the Uk. Skype and Whats App are all very useful but its not the same and Christmas is particularly hard. I guess you never know what you've got till its not there any more.
Anyway we have decided to stay put for time being as kids are canadian now and don't want to move back to the UK. They have friends and girlfriends now and a new life. It would be unfair to haul them back and start all over.
We love certain things about Canada and are concentrating on those.
Best of luck and hang in there
Dec 20th 2013, 5:41 pm
#26
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Joined: May 2012
Location: South Bucks
Posts: 1,654
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
Hi also going to say you are not alone. We have been here almost 13 years. When I first came here with hubby who is dual UK/Canadian but lived in UK all his life, we were so busy setting ourselves up with work and business to notice any cracks in the veneer. Then after trips home for me in particular, I started to not want to come back and it got harder and harder. Life is not easy here if you are on a very limited budget and scenery cannot help either. I stare out at the ocean and across to the Coastal Mountains daily, an absolutely beautiful view and sometimes not another person is walking on that beach and I feel like the most loneliest person in the world! The feelings will not go away either. I think if we won the lottery we would stay and just do 6 months here and then the other 6 months visiting our family but I don't think that is going to happen. I keep trying 
My OH was not interested at all in going back! but after 2 years of seeing my pain he has decided to also go and we are now both on board. Not having any family here at all is one of the main reasons for me.
My OH was not interested at all in going back! but after 2 years of seeing my pain he has decided to also go and we are now both on board. Not having any family here at all is one of the main reasons for me.
Dec 20th 2013, 6:03 pm
#27
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 271
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
Yes, feeling British...
The mountains are beautiful. But indifferent. Lonely, and dark.
My house is on a hill, and I m a Tapestry weaver. I can't see anything out my indws but forest. I feel like the Lady of Shallot.
I much prefer the sloping green hills of home, where every square inch has a story to tell. Good or bad, none of it is indifferent.
Oh! To hear the dawn chorus again!!!
I think Britain is the most beautiful, interesting, influential place on Earth.
I tell people that Britain made the world they live in. Especially if they are in a first world country.
*sigh*
Glad you are getting to go back. I hope I will be right behind you someday.
Hugs
The mountains are beautiful. But indifferent. Lonely, and dark.
My house is on a hill, and I m a Tapestry weaver. I can't see anything out my indws but forest. I feel like the Lady of Shallot.
I much prefer the sloping green hills of home, where every square inch has a story to tell. Good or bad, none of it is indifferent.
Oh! To hear the dawn chorus again!!!
I think Britain is the most beautiful, interesting, influential place on Earth.
I tell people that Britain made the world they live in. Especially if they are in a first world country.
*sigh*
Glad you are getting to go back. I hope I will be right behind you someday.
Hugs
Dec 20th 2013, 6:31 pm
#28
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Joined: May 2012
Location: South Bucks
Posts: 1,654
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
I am an artist and the prices I sell my art here are pathetically low to what I would be able to charge in the UK! Here people think that original art is just another form of pictures and don't realise how long you take to paint the picture and the cost of the framing involved. Another reason I am hoping to go back!
Dec 20th 2013, 6:36 pm
#29
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 271
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
What medium do you work in?
oOne thing I did find here, at least on Cortes, is that wonderful community of artists everyone talks about is not very good. the people might be nice, but the art is rubbish. Not that mine is much better..... but I have a post grad diploma from the University of Sussex, in Textile and Tapestry Art.
I just expected better.
oOne thing I did find here, at least on Cortes, is that wonderful community of artists everyone talks about is not very good. the people might be nice, but the art is rubbish. Not that mine is much better..... but I have a post grad diploma from the University of Sussex, in Textile and Tapestry Art.
I just expected better.
Dec 20th 2013, 8:22 pm
#30
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Joined: May 2012
Location: South Bucks
Posts: 1,654
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
I work in oil. I want to pursue it a lot more when we return. Lots of artists here also and because so many are retired with good pensions they are just happy to sell their work and are not wanting to price them right. Cortes artists are probably weird due to the weed!
