I still think having her PR revoked (with yours) and have her removed from the country is a good option. You're looking to take a hard line for what you think is best for her so removing her from the enablers and potentially emotional, physical, and life threatening situations would work.

I know personally of a situation not that dissimilar to yours where that was the final move, which worked out well after a few minor transitional issues.

Many people come to Canada for the kids. You really need to do the opposite, in my opinion.

To reiterate, our daughter has the following
A: Reactive Attachment Disorder.
B: Post Traumatic Stress.
C: Opositional Defiance. Disorder
D: FASD (potentially )
E: Borderline Personality Traits
F: ADHD
She had encephalitis at 18 months old.
This is not about us and fulfilling a need in us. This is about keeping our daughter alive.
By crawling all over the authorities like a rash, we are doing just that by keeping her on their radar so she isn't just another unsolved murder or a missing person never to be seen again.
The father who took food and coffee to his daughter took a huge risk.
The fact that she is still with us is more out of luck than judgment.
She was enabled to continue on a path that could have ended her life.
I assume that this girl did not have the issues our daughter has so cannot be classed as comparable.

Having contacted the UK Child Services, the response I received is "we are not legally liable".
So the first place they went was the legal department.
Stepping back is not an option but stepping up is.

Every parent deals with situations differently, you may not agree with the above scenario, as there are, I'm sure, people who don't agree with how you are handling yours.

There IS no perfect way - if there were there'd never be any issues.

However your daughters case is handled - and by whom - I wish you all the best.

I was not comparing the two girls at all. I have read this entire thread and am aware that your daughter has many more problems. The parent I referred to, let his daughter know that he was there for her when she was ready. He was at the same place at the same time every night for almost a year, one day his daughter came home.

Seriously though, what were you thinking when you moved your vulnerable, troubled child to a completely new country where nothing is familiar. We have had trouble enough with our well adjusted child, let alone one with problems.

My friends daughter was as ****ed as yours. They had two potential options as far as they saw it.

1, stay where they were, chase governmental shadows while letting her be swallowed up into the life she was embedding herself, and probably leave her to die.

2, have her physically removed from the situation (taking PR away), back into an environment where the family (especially the parents) had support of friends and other family members, and start from the beginning.

Number 2 worked for them but it wasn't easy and it took time.

Still, i'm not in your shoes so all i can say is how my good friends handled a situation very much like yours. Good luck with everything, just don't forget to wear a helmet while you're banging your head against the brick wall

Thank you for your comments.

So walking round Safeway today, cell phone rings. Our daughter calling.
Apparently we are now Grandparents
.

Congratulations

That must have been a difficult call to take , has she told you where she is and if you can visit ? She may well find that dealing with a baby means she needs help and I guess you'd be her first choice.

I'm not sure that I have made myself understood here. Our daughter is living with a couple who are registered on a BBW website along with our daughter. I have seen it for myself after receiving information.
This BBW website is a website for the larger lady looking to hook up for sex. I am told that she is being encouraged to chat online and I'm guessing to older men.
We cannot be sure that the father of our daughter's child isn't someone that she has met online whilst living in this couples home.
Not only are this couple on this website, they have a picture of themselves and their own kids on there.
This is an 18 only website.
So I'm not sure congratulations are exactly in order.

The father of our daughter's baby I'm told is 24. That from what I understand is sex with a minor.
She txt me earlier and said she didn't want to come home but wanted us to be part of her life for the kids as she referred to her baby.
When I questioned the use of the term kid, the response. I got was " ya,the thing in my stomach".
Still think I should stand somewhere once a week with food and coffee?

I am sorry but I have not read the entire thread, I have skimmed through. the one thing i would say on what you have just discovered is that you commenting on her use of the word 'kid' and her subsequent reply sounds to me like you are playing to her tune in a way.
It sounds like she knew you would disapprove of the word 'kid' and that gave her the ammunition to come back with the rest of it......all in an effort to rebel. Maybe I am wrong thats just what it reads like to me and from watching my own teenage nieces and nephews it sounds just like a situation they would set up too.
If I were you I would completely ignore anything like that with her, dont give her the fuel. It is far better you are some part of her life than none.

just my opinion, best of luck

Has she told you if its a boy or a girl ? Do you know the name ? I pleased that she said she wants you to be part of her life because it means she does have some idea of a future and that she wants you to be there too.

Have you not even seen your daughter in the last few months? I agree with the above comment that things are being said to you as a deliberate attempt to wind you up. And the reaction she is getting is exactly the one she is after.

Your daughter doesn't seem like the sort that would take orders easily (running away etc etc) I do believe you might be over analysing the BBM situation. If the large woman she is living with, is on it then thats her deal, if you have proof that your daughter is on it then report it. If you have proof that said daughter has been impregnated by some random stranger wanting adult encounters with a chunker, then report that too. If not - there isn't a lot you can do.

I will once again reiterate though that I appreciate what and why you are doing things, but some of the things you are saying and the way you are going about them, if I were your daughter, i'd be wanting to wind you up too.

I don't know - do you???? Do you want to be part of her and your grandchilds life at all, or do you want everything on your terms only - pretty much seems like you do by the way you made the above comment.