Lets see what happens I'm seeing a solicitor next week. Will keep u posted.

Supermum1 and Jaamber

Dear Ladies ... It is almost unbelievable when I read your posts, that another person and a parent no less, thinks that it is going to serve them well, in the long term, to behave in such a terrible manner.

I think the legal eagles say, 'You see the best people at their worst' in family court. And 'the worst people at their best' in criminal court.

How true... some parents (both male and female) turn into absolute nightmares when it comes down to responsibility and support. How fortunate your children are that they will be 'away' from the parent that is such a piss poor example of how to conduct yourself. What fortunate children they are to have mothers like the two of you who recognize how damaging this could be on a child if not handled well by the responsible parent.

My experience was slightly different. He was always a good father.. but his choice was preferably to be a long distance one. Pay support, send Christmas and birthday presents, he was always nice to them as long as they didn't interfere with his philandering ways ...

Of course he would also whine to his family and friends that he missed the children and it was my fault the children were so far away from him, but he always failed to add that HE LET ME TAKE THEM... To this day, I still cannot believe that when I told him I was thinking of emigrating to Canada... he smiled and said "well I think that's a good idea'. Because truthfully, if he'd said no, I would never have pursued it. At my own expense I would fly the children back to the UK for a month or five weeks each summer only to be told he would leave them with my parents, his mother and anyone else he could find for all but two weekends. So his whining that the children were so far away eventually wore thin on everyone back home too after a couple of years.

I should have suspected long before I did, that everything he did was for show ... because he couldn't even be bothered to 'show up' for the custody hearing , much to the annoyance of the Judge, who awarded me sole custody and care as a result.

He's in his mid sixties now and still in the long term relationship with the career woman he hooked up with when I threw him out. She's more than quite a bit younger than him. They never had any children and he still continues his philandering ways .. He actually even tried to hit on one of my (his own) daughters friends while he was here on a visit a couple of years ago much to my daughters disgust and everyone else's amusement.. LOL..

Children are far from stupid and the responsible parent, whether the custodial one or not, will have to do nothing more than love them, care for them, help them grown into the best they can be and BE SINCERELY HONEST.... It may not be until they've grow up, or maybe not until they've had children of their own, but they will eventually recognize the roles their parents played (or didn't play) in their upbringing. Both my children love their father, but both know how much more I (and their step father) have done in the for them in the past 30 years compared with just paying support (only till the age of 18) and a phone call once a month or so.

It isn't always easy and I'm sure you will meet challenges, especially when dealing with the difficult ex partners.

Stay strong both of you, love your children more than you hate your ex and it will all come out alright in the end, trust me....

Thanks for your inspiring post Blossom 23. I hope he realises the error of his ways soon now his twilight years are creeping upon him. I actually feel my ex did a good thing keeping away if he wasnt prepared to be a 'proper dad'. I'm Sumer your children appreciate how devoted you are to them and how their birth father let them down.

I must say it seems all the women on this site who want to bring their children to Canada have just dreadful and abusive wastrels as ex-husbands/partners.