Jaamber

I married for a second time in 2009. I have a son from my first marriage who is 13 now and 2 daughters from my second marriage. My husband has been offered a job in Toronto. I'm worried he might not be able to sponsor us to go as my son is his step son. I have full custody. My ex husband is not interested in him and we haven't seen him for 12 years. I don't even know where he is now. Do we need his permission to go. My son even has my new husbands surname now. I'd be so upset if this stopped us from moving. If anyone has any advice I would be grateful.
Nina

mikelincs

Has he been formally adopted?, if not, then legally he would need permisssion for you to take son out of the country to live. If you can't find his father, then it might well be best to get a courts permission. I doubt you would have any problem, but it's best to ensure there are no problems further down the line.

Jaamber

Thanks for your quick reply Mike. It's so unfair I have to incur such costs cos Mr Ex is such a pig. The CSA couldn't track him so we think he has left the country. Would CSA letter be proof enough?

DandNHill

My husband had 3 step sons and one son to sponsor... (All mine!!).

We did indeed need permission from Dad which was a long and costly exercise... my ex bluntly refused, however he then took legal advice and his whole attitude changed. He even signed the document in front of a solicitor on my birthday! lol

That being said if your ex is not in the picture you might be able to get it done through the courts directly, I don't know but either way you will need permission.

Jaamber

Thanks how much did the whole permission thing cost u? That's if u don't mind me asking?

DandNHill

I can't imagine it would be as straight forward as that... Sadly... Does he have parents that you can speak to to find out his whereabouts?
I would imagine it would be a bit like a divorce or a death where you have to wait a certain time before you can proceed without the persons involvement, you would probably have to wait for something official to happen before you could go without his permission - such as a letter being sent to him at his last known address, or his parents or something like that and then wait 28 days for a response and so on...

But I might be totally wrong

DandNHill

Well it cost us about 600GBP for a couple of letters from a solicitor and then I took it in to my own hands... I told him by email as we never spoke, that I was prepared to go to court to sort this out once and for all. It dragged on for about 2 years in all...
He for some reason sought legal advice...not like him..and his whole attitude changed. The solicitor obviously told him something that made him change... no idea what...
Our solicitor originally told us it would be about 3000GBP if we ended up in court...

The advantage I had is that I knew where he was.

Jaamber

Oh flipping heck!! I better start the process ASAP! Thanks for your help.

DandNHill

Obviously that is just from my experience, yours could be very different... but it is definitely worth trying to track him down through parents, old friends and so on... Do as much of the leg work as you can to save you money and speed things up...

Good luck

Jaamber

Oh god I really don't want to see him again but I will do whatever it takes.

DandNHill

I know exactly how you feel on that one... how did we ever fancy them eh?

Jaamber

Didnt he give parental responsibility when he has stopped all contact with his child for 12 years and disappeared off the face of the earth. His parents are useless the pretend they don't know where he is.

Almost Canadian

What do you mean by "I have full custody"?

Do you have a Court Order providing you with all decision making authority on behalf of your son? If you do, you already have all you need from the English perspective and your husband will simply have to convince CIC that your son is his dependent, which shouldn't be too difficult.

Jaamber

No court order. I meant I keep the child 100% of the time. Surely he reliqished his parental rights by not being around for 12 years?

mikelincs

Not in the eyes of the law I'm afraid..