Serious about going back
Dec 12th 2010, 7:02 pm
#166
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Dec 12th 2010, 7:28 pm
#167
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Dec 13th 2010, 5:54 pm
#168
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Re: Serious about going back
5 months is a dangerous time to make any decisions, factor in winter and its even more perilous.
Give it more time. Join some clubs, go along to some of those extra curricula activities, try and immerse yourself in what canadians do, or explore the local scene for things that interest you. If you dont ski or skate, then give it a go, find some lessons. Dont sit around getting depressed and pining for your old life.
If life still sucks after a year or 18 months then its worth taking some action, but at 5 months the honeymoon is over but things wont have fallen into place yet unless you are really lucky.
I wish my kid got homework every night, most of the time she has nothing (in grade 3) as she finishes all her work in class.
Give it more time. Join some clubs, go along to some of those extra curricula activities, try and immerse yourself in what canadians do, or explore the local scene for things that interest you. If you dont ski or skate, then give it a go, find some lessons. Dont sit around getting depressed and pining for your old life.
If life still sucks after a year or 18 months then its worth taking some action, but at 5 months the honeymoon is over but things wont have fallen into place yet unless you are really lucky.
I wish my kid got homework every night, most of the time she has nothing (in grade 3) as she finishes all her work in class.
I totally agree if you don`t embrace the cold you can get into a bit of a rut and start to miss things from the UK. I did last year but this year I intend to have a lot more positive attitude. We have been here just over 2 years and I must confess I do still get pangs of homesickness but that is only because the grand plans we had when we spent 2 years and some planning this lifetime changing experience haven`t really come to fuition. The easier life we hoped hasn`t really panned out and in some cases is a lot harder but hey we can`t say we are not living.
5 months is no time at all to make a huge decision as in more cases than none people have regrets and wished they gave Canada longer. As with regards to the homework issue have you tried talking to the teachers that the children are feeling somewhat pressured by the level of homework they are receiving. I have found in the past that the teachers here are very agreeable and really try to help unlike the UK where in my experience they are too stressed and overworked and don`t really know your children. I wish the best of luck and hope things settle down for you all.
Dec 13th 2010, 9:52 pm
#169
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Re: Serious about going back
Life is what you make it, when we came to canada i changed my whole lifestyle back in the uk we lived in a cottage (in a small village) that was more than twice as old as canada, We worked hard and had a good life, i spent a lot of work and pleasure time on the moors and coast. We had family close by and a good social life
We have now moved to a land locked province with the mountains 4 hrs away,
Why you may ask would we give this up, the answer is a new challange along with a easier way of life and an eye on the future.
We now work at 60% of the level we did in the uk and our quality of life has improved 20% and our children will have many more options open to them in the future which ever country they choose to live in.
Do i miss the moors and the coast, not really as we have new things to explore that we did not have back in the uk, however we often drive to the mountains for a quick fix and there is always the east & west coasts when we get fed up with lakes and want crashing sea's instead.
The key for us was understanding that moving to a new country required a new lifestyle, canada is not the uk, living the uk way will not work in canada, no more than living the canadain way works in the uk.
I guess i am more a optimist where as the OP is more a pessimist. it takes all sorts to make this world work as many canadians would say " it is what it is"
We have now moved to a land locked province with the mountains 4 hrs away,
Why you may ask would we give this up, the answer is a new challange along with a easier way of life and an eye on the future.
We now work at 60% of the level we did in the uk and our quality of life has improved 20% and our children will have many more options open to them in the future which ever country they choose to live in.
Do i miss the moors and the coast, not really as we have new things to explore that we did not have back in the uk, however we often drive to the mountains for a quick fix and there is always the east & west coasts when we get fed up with lakes and want crashing sea's instead.
The key for us was understanding that moving to a new country required a new lifestyle, canada is not the uk, living the uk way will not work in canada, no more than living the canadain way works in the uk.
I guess i am more a optimist where as the OP is more a pessimist. it takes all sorts to make this world work as many canadians would say " it is what it is"
Dec 13th 2010, 9:53 pm
#170
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Re: Serious about going back
I don't agree with the 'life is what you make it' school of thought. I agree that you have to make the best of what you have but you can't always make a bad situation good. However the OP has the means to make their bad situation good by returning to the UK.
Your experience has been good and the OP's hasn't. I don't see that contrast having much to do with optimism vs pessimism. I imagine that the OP and her family a miserable as shit right now so it would be hard to write chirpy posts.
Your experience has been good and the OP's hasn't. I don't see that contrast having much to do with optimism vs pessimism. I imagine that the OP and her family a miserable as shit right now so it would be hard to write chirpy posts.
Dec 13th 2010, 9:55 pm
#171
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Re: Serious about going back
You can easily say the same about the UK. I think it comes down to where your life comes together, be it careers, relationships, settled kids etc....
I think a failing of a lot of people is constantly running away and trying to find the pefect fit when it may be as much about them, than where they are.
I think those that feel they are 'escaping' due to perceived problems with a place will be in for a shock vs those that are leaving for such reasons as to be with a loved on, experience somewhere different or gain experience in a certain field and may not even see the move as for ever.
I think a failing of a lot of people is constantly running away and trying to find the pefect fit when it may be as much about them, than where they are.
I think those that feel they are 'escaping' due to perceived problems with a place will be in for a shock vs those that are leaving for such reasons as to be with a loved on, experience somewhere different or gain experience in a certain field and may not even see the move as for ever.
Dec 13th 2010, 9:56 pm
#172
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Dec 13th 2010, 10:00 pm
#173
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Re: Serious about going back
The point is we are here or nowhere because of husbands job. Wasn't going to be rude but please read and digest previous postings.Saves me having to repeat myself.So thankful that people are so concerned about my welfare.
Dec 13th 2010, 10:01 pm
#174
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Re: Serious about going back
True, my intent was not to debate the pros and cons of any one place, but rather to highlight that it's silly to feel that you are in a position to judge a place by limited experiences of a tiny bit of it (as you have similary suggested). And yes, subjectivity will always reign supreme as will life stages. I hate footie and chavs and I hated spending every waking hour down the pub.....so manchester is out, others would disagree.
I wasn't picking on Manchester, just happened to have spent half my life there so it was a convenient scape goat. And yes there are nice bits there.
I wasn't picking on Manchester, just happened to have spent half my life there so it was a convenient scape goat. And yes there are nice bits there.
Dec 13th 2010, 10:04 pm
#175
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Re: Serious about going back
I can't believe this thread is still going. The original poster did not want advice ... maybe they wanted approval (I don't know, and it doesn't really matter anyway what any of us thinks)
A move to Canada might not be successful for everyone ..... a town/school/job might result in misery for one person but be exactly another's cup-of-tea! A family may or may not find that the move fixes problems that existed at home.
Whatever!: Everybody has a different tale to tell. If you think you will be happier moving back, then move back. Horses for courses and all the cliches ...
Nobody is right and nobody is wrong to feel how they feel. What is WRONG is to try to tell people that how one person feels is what another person will feel. People's stories may or may not have any relevance to the next immigrant.
Rant over: I'm going to decorate my tree ...
A move to Canada might not be successful for everyone ..... a town/school/job might result in misery for one person but be exactly another's cup-of-tea! A family may or may not find that the move fixes problems that existed at home.
Whatever!: Everybody has a different tale to tell. If you think you will be happier moving back, then move back. Horses for courses and all the cliches ...
Nobody is right and nobody is wrong to feel how they feel. What is WRONG is to try to tell people that how one person feels is what another person will feel. People's stories may or may not have any relevance to the next immigrant.
Rant over: I'm going to decorate my tree ...
Dec 13th 2010, 10:06 pm
#176
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Re: Serious about going back
Have you never seen the infamous Harry Enfield 'Kevin morphing' sketch??
As the parent of an ex teenager I can vouch this is fairly accurate!!
Let me oblige...it will cheer you up while you pack anyway!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLuEY6jN6gY
Best of luck on your move back to blighty.
As the parent of an ex teenager I can vouch this is fairly accurate!!
Let me oblige...it will cheer you up while you pack anyway!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLuEY6jN6gY
Best of luck on your move back to blighty.
er yes Im English!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dec 13th 2010, 10:07 pm
#177
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Re: Serious about going back
I ABSOLUTELY Agree with this one! We are exactly of the same opinion. The OP talks about being a teacher / knowing child psychology but to be honest, all schools are not the same anywhere in the world and we are very lucky to have a fantastic school which has teachers and a principal that we can talk to, address issues etc and be heard....He also specialises in child psychology. We dont have too much homework - in fact we have asked for more at this stage as our son is doing stuff he did last year due to the age difference etc.
I definitely believe there is more to it than this and the OP is entitled to chose which way to go. It is a HUGE move though and a major decision - the person it will affect the most is their child so I am sure they have put thought into it. It shocks me though as I cannot say I have seen any issues that they have.
I definitely believe there is more to it than this and the OP is entitled to chose which way to go. It is a HUGE move though and a major decision - the person it will affect the most is their child so I am sure they have put thought into it. It shocks me though as I cannot say I have seen any issues that they have.
Dec 13th 2010, 10:10 pm
#178
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Re: Serious about going back
hi...just had to pop my head in and give u my tuppence worth....
we've been there, done it, got the t-shirt, blah, blah
first, canada is not the uk, lets get that clear!
they have their own ways and means, which may or may not be like back home.
second, and i dont know where the idea comes from (as someone on here has said, that canada is way behind in school terms compared to the uk)! what an understatement of the century! during our time in canada, my boys found it to the very opposite of the uk, ie they just couldnt cope with the level their canadian school was teaching at!
and i know why. in the uk, kids are just too damn lazy to study and the teachers are wont to push them too much, as it mightnt be politically correct!
so what happens is that we're bringing up, on the whole, a bunch of dunces who cant read, write or compute simple maths, and would gladly sit around on their pc adding to twitter, facebook or what-have-you.
in canada, it was the opposite for my kids..they were given homework every single day, and plenty of it, and the poor dears didnt have time to scratch their ar...... er, heads, let alone hang out with their mates.
i found that in canada, kids are pushed harder, and in general they perform much better than kids here, which cant be a bad thing.
getting back to your situation; 5 mths is really nothing. you have just about started to get stuck in with life there, and it will be at least another year to 18 mths before your feelings start to change and you begin to "gel" with the way things are over there.
sincerely, i urge you to grit your teeth and stick it out...honestly, there's nothing in the uk to come back to...take it from me!
PM me if you want.
we've been there, done it, got the t-shirt, blah, blah
first, canada is not the uk, lets get that clear!
they have their own ways and means, which may or may not be like back home.
second, and i dont know where the idea comes from (as someone on here has said, that canada is way behind in school terms compared to the uk)! what an understatement of the century! during our time in canada, my boys found it to the very opposite of the uk, ie they just couldnt cope with the level their canadian school was teaching at!
and i know why. in the uk, kids are just too damn lazy to study and the teachers are wont to push them too much, as it mightnt be politically correct!
so what happens is that we're bringing up, on the whole, a bunch of dunces who cant read, write or compute simple maths, and would gladly sit around on their pc adding to twitter, facebook or what-have-you.
in canada, it was the opposite for my kids..they were given homework every single day, and plenty of it, and the poor dears didnt have time to scratch their ar...... er, heads, let alone hang out with their mates.
i found that in canada, kids are pushed harder, and in general they perform much better than kids here, which cant be a bad thing.
getting back to your situation; 5 mths is really nothing. you have just about started to get stuck in with life there, and it will be at least another year to 18 mths before your feelings start to change and you begin to "gel" with the way things are over there.
sincerely, i urge you to grit your teeth and stick it out...honestly, there's nothing in the uk to come back to...take it from me!
PM me if you want.
Dec 13th 2010, 10:13 pm
#179
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It spells out the confidence people have in the UK.
Dec 13th 2010, 11:43 pm
#180
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Re: Serious about going back
Wow - I occasionally drop in to this forum just to compare it with Ausyralian forum when I think people there go over the top in defence of their new life in Aus. Glad I do as it puts things into perspective and I need to apologise the the Brit expats living is Aus - more easy going lot . While 5 months does seem a very short time to make a decision to return, don't think the OP deserves some of the levels of aggression in some of the reply posts. Canada is a great country. Vancouver always topping best city to live in in the world (although Melbourne invariably comes second so have to question what sort of methodolgy they use), but no need to attack the OP for expressing an opinion. If Canada doesn't work out, there are plenty of other places in the world to try. Let's face it November- March is not the best time to feel great about the place if you don't like the cold. As for education. If you go by some of the OECD reports touted here, better off moving to China and North Korea - although I hear the homework is horendous. Good luck OP.