For my pal Willmore again
Nov 24th 2004 | 6:16 am
#1
Thread Starter
Glasgow Rangers
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,548
From: London, Ontario
For my pal Willmore again
WHICH WOULD U CHOOSE? CAKE OR BED?????
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
“HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING
FOR WEEKS NOW”
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY;
“FIX THE LIGHT, NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE AN ELECTRICIANS LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!”
THE WIFE ASKS,
“WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.”
TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
“FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE HOTPOINT WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.”
FINE, SHE SAYS,
“THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR?” THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK.”
“I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX THE STEPS”, HE SAYS. “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WOODIES DIY WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!! “
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT. AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
“HONEY”, HE ASKS, “HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?”
SHE SAID,
“WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED.JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.”
HE SAID,
“SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?”
SHE REPLIED,
“HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE DELIA SMITH WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!”
Enjoy Willmore
Eddie
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
“HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING
FOR WEEKS NOW”
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY;
“FIX THE LIGHT, NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE AN ELECTRICIANS LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!”
THE WIFE ASKS,
“WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.”
TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
“FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE HOTPOINT WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.”
FINE, SHE SAYS,
“THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR?” THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK.”
“I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX THE STEPS”, HE SAYS. “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WOODIES DIY WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!! “
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT. AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
“HONEY”, HE ASKS, “HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?”
SHE SAID,
“WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED.JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.”
HE SAID,
“SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?”
SHE REPLIED,
“HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE DELIA SMITH WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!”
Enjoy Willmore
Eddie
Nov 24th 2004 | 7:46 am
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 61,698
From: Victoria, BC Canada
Re: For my pal Willmore again
Originally Posted by Voyager970
WHICH WOULD U CHOOSE? CAKE OR BED?????
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
“HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING
FOR WEEKS NOW�
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY;
“FIX THE LIGHT, NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE AN ELECTRICIANS LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!�
THE WIFE ASKS,
“WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.�
TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
“FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE HOTPOINT WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.�
FINE, SHE SAYS,
“THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR?� THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK.�
“I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX THE STEPS�, HE SAYS. “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WOODIES DIY WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!! “
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT. AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
“HONEY�, HE ASKS, “HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?�
SHE SAID,
“WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED.JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.�
HE SAID,
“SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?�
SHE REPLIED,
“HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE DELIA SMITH WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!�
Enjoy Willmore
Eddie
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
“HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING
FOR WEEKS NOW�
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY;
“FIX THE LIGHT, NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE AN ELECTRICIANS LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!�
THE WIFE ASKS,
“WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.�
TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
“FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE HOTPOINT WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.�
FINE, SHE SAYS,
“THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR?� THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK.�
“I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX THE STEPS�, HE SAYS. “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WOODIES DIY WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!! “
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT. AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
“HONEY�, HE ASKS, “HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?�
SHE SAID,
“WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED.JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.�
HE SAID,
“SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?�
SHE REPLIED,
“HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE DELIA SMITH WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!�
Enjoy Willmore
Eddie
Keep them coming - they're great!!!!
Nov 24th 2004 | 11:10 am
#3
Thread Starter
Glasgow Rangers
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,548
From: London, Ontario
Re: For my pal Willmore again
After a few beers, ME NAE Danger
Would you believe me if I told you I was tee-total.
Thought not !!!!!!!!!, that was a quick answer !!!!!
NA I just happen to stumble upon them, people send them to me etc etc
If you think they are crap, they can be dirtier if you wish !!!!!!
Just let me know and it will be done
Edd"y"
Would you believe me if I told you I was tee-total.
Thought not !!!!!!!!!, that was a quick answer !!!!!
NA I just happen to stumble upon them, people send them to me etc etc
If you think they are crap, they can be dirtier if you wish !!!!!!
Just let me know and it will be done
Edd"y"
Nov 28th 2004 | 10:21 am
#4
Thread Starter
Glasgow Rangers
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,548
From: London, Ontario
Re: For my pal Willmore again
HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY
It's not difficult. To make a woman happy a man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a $exologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organiser
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
AND FINALLY
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Shag him senseless and give him a blow job on a regular basis, at least once a day !!!!!!!!!
2. Leave him in peace to watch the football on the TV
A bit long winded, but you gat the picture EEHHHHHHHH
Eddie
It's not difficult. To make a woman happy a man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a $exologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organiser
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
AND FINALLY
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Shag him senseless and give him a blow job on a regular basis, at least once a day !!!!!!!!!
2. Leave him in peace to watch the football on the TV
A bit long winded, but you gat the picture EEHHHHHHHH
Eddie
Nov 29th 2004 | 11:22 am
#5
Thread Starter
Glasgow Rangers
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,548
From: London, Ontario
Re: For my pal Willmore again
Willmore thought this might cheer you up ( Excuse the pun )
Enjoy
Eddie
Police Calendar 2005
The all nude police officer calendar for 2005 comes in an all-male and an
all-female version. All pics show full frontal nudity for both female and
males. Just click on the menu to select which one you want to view. They are
available for sale on the site ... the calendars, not the officers.
Click on the site below to view all 12 (24) totally nude police officers.
http://www.richstevens.com/NAKED.swf
Enjoy
Eddie
Police Calendar 2005
The all nude police officer calendar for 2005 comes in an all-male and an
all-female version. All pics show full frontal nudity for both female and
males. Just click on the menu to select which one you want to view. They are
available for sale on the site ... the calendars, not the officers.
Click on the site below to view all 12 (24) totally nude police officers.
http://www.richstevens.com/NAKED.swf
Nov 29th 2004 | 11:36 am
#6
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,430
From: Markham ON Canada
Re: For my pal Willmore again
Ouch and I fell for that one - wonder if willmore will.
Originally Posted by Voyager970
Willmore thought this might cheer you up ( Excuse the pun )
Enjoy
Eddie
Police Calendar 2005
The all nude police officer calendar for 2005 comes in an all-male and an
all-female version. All pics show full frontal nudity for both female and
males. Just click on the menu to select which one you want to view. They are
available for sale on the site ... the calendars, not the officers.
Click on the site below to view all 12 (24) totally nude police officers.
http://www.richstevens.com/NAKED.swf
Enjoy
Eddie
Police Calendar 2005
The all nude police officer calendar for 2005 comes in an all-male and an
all-female version. All pics show full frontal nudity for both female and
males. Just click on the menu to select which one you want to view. They are
available for sale on the site ... the calendars, not the officers.
Click on the site below to view all 12 (24) totally nude police officers.
http://www.richstevens.com/NAKED.swf
Nov 29th 2004 | 11:38 am
#7
Thread Starter
Glasgow Rangers
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,548
From: London, Ontario
Re: For my pal Willmore again
Originally Posted by macmike41
Ouch and I fell for that one - wonder if willmore will.
And dont deny it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eddie
Nov 29th 2004 | 11:43 am
#8
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,430
From: Markham ON Canada
Re: For my pal Willmore again
Wellllll only if it would have given me a laugh ...
Originally Posted by Voyager970
I guess you were wanting a swatch of the nude polis guys in their birthday suit.
And dont deny it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eddie
And dont deny it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eddie
Nov 29th 2004 | 12:49 pm
#9
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 61,698
From: Victoria, BC Canada
Re: For my pal Willmore again
Originally Posted by macmike41
Wellllll only if it would have given me a laugh ...
Nov 29th 2004 | 11:37 pm
#10
Thread Starter
Glasgow Rangers
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,548
From: London, Ontario
Re: For my pal Willmore again
Originally Posted by willmore
Eddie - you are such a smart-ass. I was hoping there would be a picture of you - I was very disappointed.
Nae danger !!!!!!!!
Well Maybaes Aye and Maybaes Naw !!!!!!!!
Might, I will think about it
Where do I post this pickie, if I decide to !!!!!!!!!!!!
What about a pickie of you Willmore, you said you are blonde and you know what guys say about blondes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eddie
Heres some more Willmore !!!!!
Women top 5 lies: from the whitest down
5. I am a virgin.
4. It is so big.
3. I can't do that to my best friend.
2. I won't gain weight after marriage
1. I am coming! I am coming!!!
What is the closest thing to a woman's period?
Your SALARY... It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if it doesn't come, you are *****ED!!!
Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?
A Kid replied : The legs...because everynight I see my mum's legs up high
and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING".
More to come ( great pun )
Eddie
