Maybe changing my mind....
 

I was due to head off to canada at the end of July in an IEC visa. I don't know anyone there and would be going alone and this fact has suddenly terrified me and I think I'm probably going to stay here. I have a decentish job here as a social worker and no signs of getting one there, it feels like it would be pointless to leave all my friends and family for a dream of going there and not being able to get a job. I feel sad that it's not going to happen now..... I just think I'd find adjusting with no friends really tough esp as I've read of others finding it so hard to make friends......

Any thoughts anyone? Anyone else felt this way?

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Join sports clubs, expat groups etc.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

There's pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, and then there is scaring the crap out of yourself to the point to misery! Where do you sit? ;)

Can you do other things to build a network or make this an easier transition for yourself either this year or later? Is there anyone else who might consider going with you, either this year or later?

Are you they type of person who will forever regret not going, or can you shrug and say "it's all good"?

Will you easily get your job back or a similar position as and when and if you return to the UK? Is yours a great job that you love, or an OK job that could be replaced without too much soul-searching?

Nerves and misgivings are OK - it's what makes it exciting and an adventure and can be likely to push you to do things you wouldn't normally have done. Only you know how deep that "it terrifies me" bit runs.

Good luck - bite the bullet - or don't. There's no right decision and no wrong. Canada is not nirvana but it sure could be a fun way to spend a year or two when you are young and have no ties. And there's lots of you around :)

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

The smart move. Create different dreams.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

I think virtually everyone (other than coming with some family here) comes to a blank slate and somehow we get by.

Its a matter of expectations and what you hope will come of the move. IEC is really just a look see, there should be no expectation of it leading to a permanent move, although that can happen.

I guess some cold feet in the lead up is inevitable. You need to revisit your list of pros and cons and whatever motivation you had to apply in the first place, and decide for yourself what is important to you and how much you value the stability of your current situation over the uncertainty of whatever the IEC may bring.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

I'm in the same position as you, I'm heading out in November, that's what also terrifies me the most about going.
But you will meet people, you just need to push yourself out of your comfort zone to do it.

For my its it my dream to be there and spend at least 6 months in the mountains, if I don't like it, I just come home, that's the great thing with the IEC.

If I do get a job it most likely wont be in my chosen profession (Marketing) or if it is I'm fully prepared to have to start at the bottom.

It just depends on the reasons for why you are going.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

You're looking at it the wrong way. It's not a "Oh my god! I am never coming back, this is it, a 1 way ticket from everything I know!!" thing...

It's more of a "WOW! I get to be on a 1 year vacation and see a whole amazing country, from beaches, to mountains, to cities, to northern lights"

Perspective. You don't have to stay here. If you hate it, leave after a month. It's not a prison sentence.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Why waste the money and a good job just to go somewhere more rubbishy without a job, friends and family?

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

What is "the dream" you see about Canada? What do you think/dream Canada will offer you that isn't available where you are?

Maybe it's not Canada itself that's the dream, you just want a change from a rut you're in.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

More rubbishy oink? Where do you live and why do you feel it's more rubbishy?

Thanks everyone for replies I think I like the idea of it but in reality it may not be all that.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

It'll be the same, just in a different location.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Someone once told me:

don't regret the things you have done, regret the things you haven't done

You can always come back and rebuild your life again. Due to the fact you only have up until your 30 for an IEC, is it not worth taking the risk?

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

As I thought Arthurbrit.

Good point becki I am 31 and I have the visa from last year until 7 July to activate it, after that, never another chance, and given how hard it is to get into canada, probably my only chance ever..

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

If it's just temporary then I'd say go for it. You can always go back if it goes t*t's up. It's always good to broaden your horizons. If it's with the intention of establishing yourself permanently then you probably need to do more planning and make sure you bring lot's of cash. It's not the like it was forty or fifty years ago when you could come here with a few dollars and easily find work and establish yourself.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

I presume you have looked into whether or not your qualifications will be accepted here?

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

I think the whole go and enjoy ya self thing is dependant on how many $$ are in the bank.

If you can go and live for 6-12 months on savings alone, do it!

If not, then just go have a week or two holiday now n again.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

It's called: "cold feet", the trick is to think about the positives rather than the negatives. If you think about negatives you'll never do anything.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

A year is nothing in absence - your life in the UK won't go anywhere. The potential of regretting "trying" is high. You risk nothing but gaining an experience which may lead to who knows what ... what's the worse case scenario? You come over, hate it and go back? Meh. Big deal. So you've lost some dosh in the finding out - but at least you'd KNOW ... Best case? You freaking love it, experience something brand new, decide to build a life somewhere ...

You gonna let fear dictate your life? Or just jump in the deep end seeing as the worst case scenario ain't all that bad, just a bit of money.

I say go for it ... bottom line ... what have you got to lose besides money?

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Everything you're imagining is probably the absolute worst case scenario: that you won't make friends, won't find a job, that you'll have ruined your entire life by doing IEC. I would say your doubts are normal - it's a big change - but thousands of people do this programme each year, myself included. You're not alone! I also went out alone without a job to go to but fast forward three months, I had a job I loved, a lovely Canadian boyfriend and I definitely didn't regret my decision. There'll be bad times, sure, but you'd have them back home too. If you decide to stay at home, make sure it's because you actually want to stay at home and not just because you're scared of such a huge change.

Also, where are you heading to? You can probably put a message on this board and find other IEC-ers or other people who are already resident in that town so you can maybe do a meet-up. Join a club too once you're out there! And remember, if things do go wrong, home is only a short flight away and the bad times are never permanent!

Cat

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Thanks everyone, I know you are right! comments have really helped... A lot of friends keep saying oh you are really brave and then saying they couldn't do it....

My qualification has been assessed by canadian association of sw as being equivalent to a canadian Masters of social work Bats, thanks.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

There are several hundred on the waiting list ready to take your place and are probably pissed that you got a place and are now thinking of not going :lol:
Thousands come over on the IEC every year for the 1st time and many are unsure. Facebook groups are set up or they contact each other on sites like these in the IEC threads.
Once you get to a certain age you always have doubts. If you have a decent job in the UK why give it up unless they keep the job open for you.
What guarantees will you have when you get to Canada apart from cheese being more expensive.
Its your decision in the end.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

I think that anyone under 30 who has doubts is some sort of worrywart. Don't children still believe they're immortal?

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Before I came out on IEC, that's all I got from people too...'I could never do that, you're so brave!".

Yes it was daunting, but I never really felt like I was being 'brave', the fact that I was doing something that I had always wanted to do was so exciting to me. I'll never forget that feeling of getting off of the bus in downtown Toronto, in this huge North American city knowing no one (lie: I was meeting up with my cousin's friend in a few days for a drink, barely knew him though). I remember walking up College Street after dumping my bags and feeling very overwhelmed, but also full of expectations! One funny memory I have is first walking into Tim Hortons (HUGE Canadian coffee chain) on that day and being overwhelmed at the choice of donuts haha, seems to stupid now. I was also really worried that no one would understand my accent (Scottish you see!), or that I would never get my head around the money, transport...CROSSWALKS!

Fast forward 1 year and 8 months, and here I am, working my last few weeks at my well paid, full time job in Vancouver, getting ready to say goodbye to Canada as well as some amazing friends in a month. And I regret nothing. There have obviously been downs as well as ups, but I'm so glad that I came out here. So much so that I'm looking to do the same thing in Oz next year.

Your fears seem to be based around your job and making friends:

1. You may not be able to be a social worker out here. However why not give yourself a break from your regular job and do something fun that you wouldn't usually do? Like work in a bar, get a job in Whistler, go to an agency and see where you end up? Think of it as a bit of a career break/sabbatical. I imagine that your job as a social worker is probably really stressful, give yourself a break, come out here and find an easy, no pressure job and have fun!

2. I live in Vancouver which is well known for being a little socially backwards. I'm now leaving a group of 15+ strong, good friends behind here. How did I find them? I lived in a hostel for the first two weeks and made some friends there. I then looked for an apartment share and moved in with 3 people, who I still live with, who are new my very best friends out here. Through them, their work friends, my work friends and random meetings we now have a great social group. You'll make friends, don't worry about that.

I really hope you decide to do it, it would be shame to let such an opportunity go to waste. I know some people who would chew their right arm off for that visa you have ;)

Good Luck!

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Why would anyone under 30 want to go to Canada? It'd be like going to live with your aunty who lives somewhere a bit shit. :confused:

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Well I plead guilty to going to the US when I was only 27. Bit of an adventure really. I didn't know it would be a bit shit because it never said that on the tele.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Before I came to Canada, I travelled around the US for a bit and one of my American friends who I crashed with for a while made this comparison, which amused me greatly:

USA: That friend that you love to party with! You are sure to have an amazing time with him, get up to all sorts of shit and have some amazing stories to tell! However, if you're looking for someone to bail you out of jail at the end of it all or help you move, good luck!

Canada: That friend who is usually the designated driver, wears the sensible hat. Always makes sure that everyone gets home safe at the end of the night and doesn't make you feel bad for it. Some would describe him as being a bit boring, but he's actually really interesting when you get to know him. And you can pretty much count on him in times of trouble.


Accurate or not...that's a matter of opinion I guess :p

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Heading out in a few weeks. I know two people in Canada, and I'm not expecting to be within a thousand miles of them.

Admittedly, I've been very fortunate, constructing a no-loss situation (year's unpaid leave from work), but you've got to look at the possibilities. If you stay, you know what you're going to have. If you go... who knows. Endless potential and possibility. May very well end up much of the same, but unless you wander into the wrong neighbourhood & get knifed, it's unlikely to hurt you long-term. Looking back in ten years at the regret of not trying could eat away.

My understanding of social workers is that there's always demand, and a high-turnover profession - so if you come back after a year, presumably you could get a similar job again.

Personally, I'd call it a year's experience, and that you need very clear and obvious downsides to decide against it, which aren't obvious from your post. But it's your decision - and you have to make the one that you'll have to live with, one way or the other.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Well, I don't go for clichéd homilies so I'm not buying that either.

North America in general is a bit shit. But I only know that because I found it out for myself.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

There seems to be two types of immigrants to Canada. Those who come because of their careers and those who have left because of a relationship or to seek a geographical fix to some problem or another, be it, restlessness, boredom, relationships, financial issues etc. The former are the ones who seem to have a fairly balanced view and perspective of their situation and the latter who have an almost messianic need to justify their decision while being blinkered to the reality. I suppose it depends in which category you fall to begin with as to the advice you’ll accept.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Agreed, more or less, (you forgot the group who have a relationship with a Canadian met abroad and who have been chivvied into moving here). But the OP on this thread is an IEC visa holder. Not an immigrant.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

". . . who have left because of a relationship . . ."

I included them. :)

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Some people fit into both of those groups

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Sorry. I interpreted that as someone running from a broken relationship. Whatever.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

I suppose some people start knobbing a Canadain abroad and figure thats the best they can do so follow them over. Seems a high price to pay though. ;)

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Ah, but I know that someone as sensitive as your good self would agree that you can't put a price on true love.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Are you in a rut? What made you apply for it to begin with?

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

It sounds like he needs to work though.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

I spent several summers in canada when I was a student back in 2004/5 and really liked it. I always said I'd live to go back and work for a year if I had the chance.

I guess I am in a rut and it would be fun to do something different for a bit but at the same time, have a good job in a good team.. Social Work so hit and miss you never know what your team will be like. At the same time I'm not sure I want to do child protection social work anymore, I've only been doing it for 2.5 years but I'm wanting a change. I worry about silly things like christmas. :huh:

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

Its not silly but what's is there to worry about? Maybe we can help.

Re: Maybe changing my mind....
 

We have Christmas here - albeit without Chris DeBurgh's "A spaceman came travelling" or Slade. Christmas trees are cheaper.