sas-lou

I just assumed if he had all the paperwork and i had copies then he could put the cat on a plane here and i could pick her up in the UK.

I am not being hasty, i'm taking the only option available to me at the moment.

I have no intention of screwing him over financially, he isn't the children bio father (i will prolly have to deal with that pond scum when i return home), we are currently renting, he wouldnt be able to afford the rent alone so would have to find someone to take over the tenancy, he will be left financially screwed here even though there is just him (and cat). I was lucky that i was made redundant in the UK just before coming here so i got a nice payout from Barclays which is sitting in my UK account, i also have $5200 sitting in an account here so i ain't doing to bad. I dont hate the bloke, jesus, i want this marriage to work .. i still hope that he will change his mind, but i KNOW that will not happen. I wish him no harm, im just angry he let me come and now i have to return.

Well i told the kids, they are not happy. My eldest wants to go back to his old school to be with his one friend .. he was bullied there for 3 years but still wants to go back. My youngest is gutted about his education and the fact he doesn't have a Canadian accent yet .. .. he is angry with me at the moment, what can i do to make things right .. hopefully in time they will forgive me.

No, this is for the best .. i will see that one day.

Jay Bird

Hiya Ruby............we used a transportation company to take our moggy to Canada...we didn't have to be there to see her onto the plane cos she flew out four days after us. But we had to go to Toronto airport to collect her......and pay all sorts of fees......amounted to another $80 to release her.

Jay Bird

I think you'll find it's somewhat more complicated than that.......I'd check with DEFRA first. Don't assume you can roll up to the airport and stick her on a plane back; she's been out of the country and there are strict rules for bringing her back in.

act1980

Hi Sas-Lou,

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I hope that everything goes smoothly for you on your trip back to the UK.

I am assuming that you don't have a pet passport for your cat? If so you can just put her on the plane and she won't have to go into quarintine here.

Good luck with everything!!

DaveLovesDee

Sorry to hear about your stress Sas-Lou. I really hoped you and the kids were going to be happy here.

In Ontario, even a non-bio parent can be made to pay child support as discussed in this BE thread. The amounts are here.

dingbat

The "blanks" are that you can have court orders aplenty, but if her ex is determined not to pay, Sas-Lou will not get a cent for the kids. You cannot get blood out of a stone. Garnishments take months to get into place, and there has to be a court order in place first, to file with the Ontario MEP. Once MEP have that, they are obliged to "work" with the payor to get a voluntary arrangement going. The way the payors play this game, is to ignore letters and court documents until a week (or in my ex's case, a day) before a court hearing, then have a fake epiphany, and agree to pay $x. All court action stops. If they pay even so much as $10 toward their obligation that month, you go right back to square one and have to start enforcement proceedings all over again. The system sucks. This guy earns $10.50 an hour - child support will be peanuts, it won't even cover half the cost of the kids food.

No, she likely won't get a penny from him if she goes back to the UK. This was a short marriage, he apparently had no intention of making work. He can argue that that he is not solely responsible for the step children on that basis, and while this argument will fail, he may get a reduced child support obligation if he is clever. This would be the difference between what the bio father in the UK should pay, and any shortfall between bio father's income and the step father's income. If the OP does the maths, there probably won't be any shortfall. It's all academic really - peanuts are peanuts, and she can't live on fresh air.

Sas-lou will be better off financially in the UK. Being a foreign single mother on the breadline in this country is horrendous, I would not wish it on my worst enemy.

sas-lou

Me neither so that's why this is the best situation. I will ring DEFRA tomorrow and find out the logistics of it. She had a crappy start in life and then she came to us, we were her second chance. I would hate for her to have to start again .. See how i am over a silly cat, now imagine a human being lol .. to soft for my own good.

We were together for 6 years and married 2 .. not very short PLEASE .. bio father shirked his responsibility, Jason isn't their dad just a very good male role model, we don't need his money.

My mum has just called asking if the portable DVD and disks +PS2 + games will work in the UK .. 45 mins later and some brilliant advice .. i feel better, she understands where i am coming from and even apologised for calling him all the names under the sun.

For 5 years i was in an abusive relationship (bio father), i tried to take my life, he had changed me into such a weak person so i ended it eventually using the last little bit of strength left within me.
Jason told me the other night, that although i changed him into such a better person, something was missing and he didn't feel like himself anymore.
Knowing what i had been through, i have to admit defeat and let him go so he can be himself even at the cost of me getting hurt .. now granted, my hubby has never laid a finger on me, never put me down so the situation is somewhat different but still if people feel that they are unable to be themselves the other must let go .. I dont want things to get spiteful, i dont hate him .. although i am very hurt.
That is why i don't money for the children .. i need to move on, getting payments from him is like taking a step back, being stuck in the past .. Now its time to think about what i want .. I can go to uni and become a nurse or get whatever qualification needed to become a vet .. there are possibilities out there for me now and that is what i must focus on ..

My life story will soon be available in paperback form ..

londonlass

Very best of luck for the next chaper Sas-lou

Cassie 10000

Hi Sas

I am so sorry so read all this. Only you know what is the right thing to do now after taking all the advice that has been thrown at you just recently.

I can't imagine how drained and emotionally tired you are.

You know we are all here to give you any support we can.

All the best sweetheart.

Cassie

startwin

What a mess. My heart goes out to you. So sorry it's turned out like this. Hope all works out well for you whichever way you go.

purple80

Sorry to hear the news Sas, I hope everything works out for you....

Keep your chin up, your stronger than you think and it is always surprising what door opens as the other has just slammed into your arse.... I KNOW!

Your life story will be found next to mine, it makes us interesting????

Charlie xx

zalaben

oh no! so sorry to hear your news. I know that you will make it thru this rough patch, and yes you will see that every cloud has a silver lining. Ofcourse you cant see that right now, but you will see it in time.

Big hug and stay strong

SARAH

woodmanbg

I am very very sorry to read all this and wish you and the kids all the best whatever the outcome. Keep smiling and dont lose your sense of humour, difficult I know!

terese677

I'm so sorry to hear what your Oh has done and the results of your appointment today Sas-Lou, there's nothing I can add that will help.
sending you my best wishes and letting you know my prayers are with you.
Terese

Caitilin

Just a thought..is there anyone else you can leave the cat with? as if you can' ttrust him not to tell you the truth, why do you trust him with your furbaby?

Sorry to hear it went this way!