Re: homesickness
 

The last time I was home, half the pubs I knew were gone, the old local had been turned into flats. I also found during the week that the local pubs were depressing. Never saw more than 4 or 5 people. I think we tend to over glamorize the importance of little things, be it the pub, eastenders or jaffa cakes. Nostalgia fades fast. What never completely passes is your connection to people. You learn to live with it but it's always there. I find now that at times, I miss family more than i did when I was younger.

To the OP, get home for xmas - it does sound like you are still grieving and perhaps are even experiencing some guilt (which is normal and quite understandable). It may help to talk to someone. You have a lot going on, new life over here, old life over there and someone who was a huge part of your life passing away.

Hope all goes well. Keep your chin up love.

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Oh my God, you are me! We decided to apply on a whim as well - and like you, ours was beer related...

I suggested we move to Canada one night while rather drunk and my husband took me up on it :rofl:

We have been here 3 1/2 years now, and haven't been back to the UK yet (not really got much to go back for tbh).

I do hope the OP sorts something out soon and manages to work out what is the best thing to do. In her position, I think I would go for an extended visit back to the UK - if nothing else, that will let her see her mum and may help her remember what ever it was that made her decide to leave the UK in the first place.

Homesickness is hard.

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Glad I'm not the only one to make decisions with the aid of beer:thumbup: I did have it a little easier mind you as OH is Canadian, the slightly trickier bit was convincing him to move back;)

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children: she only slid that chestnut by me after several boddingtons.

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Hi Jan,

Some people are more sensitive than others so some replies might sound harsh as if they don't understand. I think I replied to a homesickness thread when I first joined this forum. I came over almost 20 years ago. I am 44 now. I felt ill at first because of that homesick feeling. I have been torn ever since about being away from my family who are all back in England.

My mum died almost two years ago and it was just awful. I understand your feelings about your mum completely. I've read some of the replies but not all so forgive me if I ask you things that you have alreay explained. Does your mum have other children there with her or are you the only one? Do you have lots of family that live near her? It comforted me to tell myself that my mum had my two sisters and my stepfather there who loved her. She missed me terribly but it is very cheap to call the UK from Canada.

I convinced my family back in England to buy webcams for their computers and we see each other often via them. We can talk for free on the computer also. This all helps.

Christmas time has always been the hardest for me. I just find it is not the same here but I dont' have children so have never made my own traditions really. One thing I am looking forward to this year is the fact I have a program on my computer that allows me to watch live TV from the UK so I am looking forward to all the silly British comedies etc.

I go home about once every two years and enjoy it but like to return to my home in Canada. I find it very different back there now. I also miss the countryside etc. I think if I had the money I would buy a 2nd house in Cornwall and live there and miss the Canadian winters lol

It really does get better with time. You have to give it time to settle and meet people who will add joy to your life. I believe things happen for a reason. I am convinced I am here to win the new MAX lottery lololol

I live just down the highway from you in Bowmanville. I would love to meet up with a few people near me to start up a little circle of friends were we could do bonfire night, pancake day etc etc.

Sometimes just posting on a message board to strangers helps just because you are letting your feelings out. Ignore the grumpy ones that don't get it. Good for them that they are not feeling this way. It does not mean you are feeling sorry for yourself. It just means you need to express yourself rather than keeping it bottled up.

I used to send my mum cards each month with little handwritten letters in. She loved it and I felt great knowing I had made her feel happy and loved even though I was so far away. My two sisters came to see me a month ago and they brought them all back to me. My mum had saved them all and after she passed away my sisters collected them and brought them over.

Oh yes, knowing where all the great shops are that sell British chocolate is good too :) I know them all if you want to know lol

Re: homesickness
 

Hi Jan

I moved to Van last dec 2008 - full of the joys - or not as I already was worried on the plane - came for hubbys job and to give the kids a better opportunity - 10 and 14 -

any way - I have not settled at all - feel totally disjointed -went back for a visit in Oct - worse thing to do - now an v depressed - hubb not happy with job - and now looking to return to Uk in April full time! heyho!

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Oh no! ((((((hugs)))))

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Thanks amy & charlie :) xxx

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from me too Caz - at least you can say what you want and are doing something about it xxxxx

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Oh wow lovvie, I didn't realise that's how things are going for you, it doesn't suit everyone that's for sure. Good luck whatever happens xxx

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thank you delboy!
I have spoken to many Canadians about this separation/emigration/grieving and they just don't get it. Is it because they haven't experienced such upheaval? or are Canadians really just shallow people who only say "have a nice day" without meaning it?

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fledermaus, roughly where do you live? the rolling hills and sheep etc sound so British it sounds lovely, Jan

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I don't find Canadians shallow, at least not here on the west coast, I have some very close friends, closer than I had in the UK. Nobody will truly understand what essentially amounts to abandoning one life to take up another on the other side of the world unless they have experienced it and that goes for other Brits as well.

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yes I know, I don't like to generalise, but some of the Canadians I have encountered must be the shallow ones. I shall keep searching. We have actually got some very nice friends here, but I cannot blame them for not understanding what they haven't experienced, Thanks again