homesickness
 

My husband and 2 children and dogs emigrated to Ontario in June 2005. We holidayed here in 2003 and liked it, my husband especially did, he's into hunting and snowmobiling.
They all love it here, but I really miss my Mum who's almost 70. We've got our dual citizenship but Mum's husband is very ill and it doesn't look like he will pass his sponsorship to here.
I also miss the beautiful British countryside, trees, hedgerows, different architecture and accents within a short drive. I find that Ontario is basically the same terrain wherever you go until you get to a huge city that's over-built up. It goes from one extreme to the other, without that English quaintness.
I loved walking anywhere in the UK and not having to rely on a car to get me to Walmart here or Michael's there to buy different products, that's so weird.
My father died a few weeks before we emigrated and at his funeral I was phoned by our immigration agent that we have finally, after 23 months of waiting, been accepted into Ontario. I dropped my cell phone, and my husband took over the call. It was such an emotional day as you can imagine! and perhaps that goes some way to how I am feeling. I am a housewife and do some fostering have a few friends but it's not the same.
Anyone else feel this way and any suggestions. We haven't been back to the UK yet, so I may be seeing things through rose coloured glasses

Re: homesickness
 

It won't get any better. You'll learn to live with it but there will always be a dull ache that'll gnaw away at you until you are angry and bitter. You only live one life, don't live it with resentment and sadness. Go home.

Re: homesickness
 

That's not helpful though true to some level.

It might not necessarily grow into angry and bitter anyway, it may well moderate as the OP becomes happier in CA.

I have been out of the UK since 2003. I have 2 kids and am female and can totally relate. My Mum died last year in the UK.

In a nutshell, my take is that you have to look out for the whole family and what is best for them. Our decision is that here is better at the moment. That may change and nothing has to be forever. You can always go back anyway.

I don't have any suggestions - I now work as my kids are old enough and that helps - the kids also do all sorts of activities and we have met loads of people through that. Other than that, keep smiling.

HTH

Re: homesickness
 

You wouldn't recommend a trip back to test the waters then? Just sell up and return...

Re: homesickness
 

Thank you, you're the first person that's understood what I'm going through. I've been on Yahoo answers and get silly replies like "go back" but I can't, I am not selfish and would not uproot my kids from school and their education or my husband from his job or my 13 year old labrador - she wouldn't last the plane journey, so there are loads of things to take into consideration, but it won't stop that yearning inside me missing Blighty and all who sail on her!!
Thank you again

Re: homesickness
 

What you think that'll cure it? If she's feeling this way now, she'll just end up lonely, isolated and depressed. No way to live a life.

Re: homesickness
 

If you can't go back, your resentment will only be directed at those you feel that are keeping you here so you'll be angry at them and consequently make their lives miserable.
You could just drink to numb the pain, but that'll have rather unhealthy consequences. I'm not saying this for a laugh, it happens to be the reality. You may be resigned to your fate but you'll resent everything about being stuck here.

Re: homesickness
 

Oink you're stupid. Nothing is that black and white! Are you 3 years old??????????

Re: homesickness
 

Would it be too daunting or, pragmatically, too expensive to treat the UK as a holiday destination - perhaps Spring for example?

Might help some of the yearnings & maybe let you look forward to returning to Canada at the end?

I've not been in your position, but I hope things improve for you :)

Re: homesickness
 

Thanks, we've thought about going there in the spring. Thanks for your words of encouragement.

Re: homesickness
 

Sorry to hear that you're feeling homesick. It is so difficult when you have left family and friends behind, especially when something happens to them.

I've been in Calgary since 2007 and went back for the first time last Christmas. It was great to do, as I too felt homesick. However after a few days of the same old stresses (traffic, dodgy weather and too many people) I was pleased to get back here.

Maybe try a trip back. I found it helped.

Re: homesickness
 

Fraggle, I hear that all the time, so perhaps a trip back could be the "fix" I need

Re: homesickness
 

....Yahoo answers isn't always my first port of call when faced with one of life's more complicated emotional dilemmas.

Now BritishExpats.com on the other hand....;)

Re: homesickness
 

The bad news is although he lacks subtly he is not that far of the mark for many people...


a visit may help, it may make it worse, staying may work out, and staying may end up making you bitter

here you'll get opinions, no real help, maybe virtual hugs if that helps.. the only person that can alter your situation is you,

control what you can and try not to worry about the stuff you can't control

Home sickness is a major reason for returning, its also a major reason for marriage break ups too

Re: homesickness
 

I'm not the one whining on an internet forum and trolling for sympathy. I made what a thought was a helpful reality check. I suspect I've hit a nerve. You've made your hell, now you'll have to live with it. But I won't resort to name calling, I'll leave that to you.