Originally Posted by claire600 (Post 8093619)

Hi

I am going back for my second visit and we only landed in April this year. The first time I went back was to make sure my son was Ok and security ... see you in 12 weeks etc.

I was glad to return to Canada in July. I am returning on Sunday for a pre Christmas visit and feel extremely confused about where I want to be. My father is elderly and unwell and I feel tremendous guilt for missing out on the time I could be spending with him. My son is 25 and is always saying he can't wait to see me ....

I know I'm not here for the long haul and no I did not look at the reality of been far from home and not being able to visit ... I just got caught up with the whole process.

My partner is very happy here, I said I would give it a year and a job might help ... I may feel different after my trip. We have invested so much of our lives in to this but it has made me realise what is actually important to me and it's not material possesions.

So I am struggling today but tomorrow I may feel different!

Take care

Claire

Originally Posted by claire600 (Post 8093619)

We have invested so much of our lives in to this but it has made me realise what is actually important to me and it's not material possesions.

Originally Posted by jan the piglet (Post 8093682)

possessions mean absolutely nothing

Originally Posted by Alan2005 (Post 8093696)

Gosh, another pair of BE trappist monks. No car, computer, tv, ipod, camera, comfy chair, nice shoes, handbag etc for you. You know what's important right?

Originally Posted by iaink (Post 8093716)

Whats your point Alan? Yes they have posessions, dont we all?


Are there more important things in their lives where they would accept a lower income and the loss of some of them? Who the hell are YOU to judge that,. You are getting tiresome. Sometimes I wish that if you have nothing to say, that you would restrict yourself to saying nothing.

Originally Posted by jan the piglet (Post 8093587)

I live near Lindsay, Ontario, so not too far from you.
Thank you for posting. So many people have said that the UK is just awful, so perhaps I'm looking at things through rose tinted glasses.

Originally Posted by Alan2005 (Post 8093818)

My point is that lots of people on this board are guilty of this hypocrisy. Possessions mean nothing, but we have loads of them. Yeah, right... Me, I like having things, a decent TV, stereo, PS3, fancy camera - these things bring me pleasure and I'm not ashamed to say so.

Edit: I should add I don't judge people that can't afford things, I judge people that deny that things are important when they quite clearly have things.

Edit Again: If you're telling me this in your capacity as moderator, then fair enough I'll shut up.

Originally Posted by iaink (Post 8093859)

No, its not in my capacity as a mod. You are entitled to your opinion, even when its wrong. Its in my capacity as a long term user of this forum who sees the usual suspects chipping in in threads where a bit of support and understanding for the original poster wouldnt go amiss instead of trying to impress everyone with how big and clever and outragous you can be. In my (non moderator) opinion it just looks cheap and nasty, but as a mod its not breaking any rules, so if you want to look like a cock I cant stop you.

Hypocrisy, what hypocrisy? They are not saying they dont want nice things if that's an option, they are just saying that nice things are not as important as, (or the same thing as) personal happiness. Why is that so hard to understand?

Selling all their nice stuff and living a life of buddist extremism wont get them back with their sick mum or whatever if the rest of the family is perfectly happy here in Canada.

Do you have a wife and kids? Life is not as simple when you do, especially if you care about them.

Originally Posted by iaink (Post 8093859)

No, its not in my capacity as a mod. You are entitled to your opinion, even when its wrong. Its in my capacity as a long term user of this forum who sees the usual suspects chipping in in threads where a bit of support and understanding for the original poster wouldnt go amiss instead of trying to impress everyone with how big and clever and outragous you can be. In my (non moderator) opinion it just looks cheap and nasty, but as a mod its not breaking any rules, so if you want to look like a cock I cant stop you.

Hypocrisy, what hypocrisy? They are not saying they dont want nice things if that's an options, they are just saying that nice things are not as important as, (or the same thing) as personal happiness. Why is that so hard to understand?

Selling all their nice stuff and living a life of buddist extremism wont get them back with their sick mum or whatever if the rest of the family is perfectly happy here in Canada.

Do you have a wife and kids? Life is not as simple when you do, expecially if you care about them.

Originally Posted by Alan2005 (Post 8093894)

What I am trying to say is that people who go out of their way to say "possessions aren't important" are implicitly judging those that are willing to admit to themselves that they are. And "possessions aren't as important as my family" is axiomatic for most people and doesn't need saying anyway.

Originally Posted by misplacedheidi (Post 8091673)

That's not helpful though true to some level.

It might not necessarily grow into angry and bitter anyway, it may well moderate as the OP becomes happier in CA.

I have been out of the UK since 2003. I have 2 kids and am female and can totally relate. My Mum died last year in the UK.

In a nutshell, my take is that you have to look out for the whole family and what is best for them. Our decision is that here is better at the moment. That may change and nothing has to be forever. You can always go back anyway.

I don't have any suggestions - I now work as my kids are old enough and that helps - the kids also do all sorts of activities and we have met loads of people through that. Other than that, keep smiling.

HTH

Originally Posted by iaink (Post 8093924)

Plenty of (for the sake of argument) men decide at some point "to hell with the wife and kids and being responsible, I want a divorce and a convertible". They seem happy enough. I think you might be projecting rather too much onto what other people have said, but thats just my opinion.

Originally Posted by dbd33 (Post 8093958)

A divorce and a convertible is a major achievement in Ontario.

Originally Posted by dbd33 (Post 8093958)

A divorce and a convertible is a major achievement in Ontario. Not that possessions matter to me.

Originally Posted by iaink (Post 8093924)

How are they judging anyone? They are simply commenting on their own circumstances.


Its not like there have not been many people over the years that have posted to the effect that "Canada is great, because I can sell my house in Surrey for a small fortune and live like a king here thanks to the capital that releases",

Plenty of (for the sake of argument) men decide at some point "to hell with the wife and kids and being responsible, I want a divorce and a convertible". They seem happy enough. I think you might be projecting rather too much onto what other people have said, but thats just my opinion.