Perhaps the wife an kids don't know yet!

Well that did cross my mind too

wow you guys are funny!!

erm....my boys are growing up fast, my eldest is 19 in feb, then a 17 year old, a 16 year old and finally a 12 year old (13 in April)

yes im currently in Ireland and believe me this country is wet!! and it costs a small fortune to heat the homes here. my rented house at the minute is actually huge but when I moved here I found this area where I wanted the family to live because its a lovely little town with good schools etc not too far of a drive for work etc. the only house available to rent at the time was advertised as a 4 bed but when I looked at it....6 beds, 4 with ensuites plus 2 more bathrooms, kitchen diner is enormous as is the lounge and a separate dining room (now a pool room) and a second sitting room. the rent is lots cheaper than back in the uk so we figured why not!!
until the winter came....most of Ireland is still pretty backwards so the heating is oil fired boilers, the cost of running that is extortionate though!!!!!
anyway I digress

DandDhill thank you for telling me how you met, it helps knowing in reality it happens and works out!!

Tirytory,Aviator, no the wife and kids dont know yet. its been an awkward relationship at best and very wrong at worst, and the truth is the kids have been the glue that kept us where we are but I have to say, that just isn't enough is it.

no I haven't actually been to Canada in person but once I have things sorted a bit here its first on my list of things to do.

I hope that answers some of your replies?

im really happy for you guys!

I love this line!!! and from what ive seen and heard so true!
how long have you been there?

Ok, I have things to do but I feel compelled to write this. Probably someone will tell me to butt out but...

Please, please, please think this through. It sounds like madness and if it was your best friend doing it you would say the same thing. I'm not judging you about either how you met or the fact that you're still married, but it is a folly what you're essentially planning to do.

Your kids will hate you, why wouldn't they? Leave your wife if you're unhappy- I see no point in staying "just for the kids" but leave responsibly and amicably and do everything in your power to make sure your children come out of it well. If you leave to pursue a romance based over the computer then that is just so irresponsible and like it or not you have children to care for and one to actively support. It isn't some romance over the seas type film, it's likely to be a relationship based on 100% stress and unlikely to last even if it gets off the ground initially. What do you really know about her/him? Can you imagine being your 13 yr old? Think how they will feel please. Abandoned at best maybe- while you choose to live out some fantasy played out in your head without any of the realities of actual life- money problems, being an immigrant- there's just too many to even list. Unless your wife is some evil creature you will never get custody so you are choosing to leave a child behind for what. Love? It's not real- how can it be? What if she decides the guilt is too much, or she can't handle the stress and leaves you alone in another country. Or decides that actually it's not all that after all...

You stand to lose EVERYTHING- family, friends, colleagues respect- where will you be in 10 yrs time? Maybe there is a 1% chance that you will be happily loved up with a successful relationship, job, house and the love of your kids. I suspect that what is more likely that you will end up broke, alone and your kids hating you, not seeing your grandchildren at Christmas time. Will it be worth it?

I'm sorry to be harsh but I imagine three situations here..

A. You're joking in which case it doesn't matter.
B. You're trolling.
C. You posted very personal details on a forum because deep down you know it's a crazy scheme.

If it were me, I would stop the addictive crazy Internet romance now. I would decide if I really want to leave my relationship....and if I did then I would work on how to do the best thing for the children- they really should be the first thing you think about and lastly you should show some respect for your wife also. Consider how to do the best thing for her too. You probably owe her that. I feel deeply saddened for your wife and children knowing that's what you have in store for them- it doesn't paint you in a very nice way if I'm honest.

Wow. Just wow.

It just blows my mind that the OP appears to think that his children will accept that their dad is leaving their mum for another woman in another country and will happily pack their bags to leave with him!

I was just joking, never thought anyone would actually do that.

Just FYI as you mentioned a couple of your children moving with you, the 19 year old is too old to, the 17 year old will shortly be too old to (age limit is 18), and if it's either of the other two do be aware that you'd need their mother's written permission to remove them from UK jurisdiction, or a court order to that effect.

HTH.

I am guessing when she hears the news, she may be less than helpful!

i'm a little late here....I don't visit this website very often, but I am English and living on the outskirts of Windsor, do u still need info?? email me at <snipped> if u need info still...!!

I think Tirytory's forthright post might have given the saint pause for a rethink!

They've not been on the forum since 11th Jan, so we'll probably never know.

Monique in Canada, please do note that bumping such old threads isn't great forum 'netiquette', thx.

why?? I didn't bump it deliberately to cause a stir, I am genuinly being helpful.....I didn't read the rest of the crap on this cos that gets boring....but surely offering to help isn't bad!!

Fair point really. MiC could have started a new thread but the context would almost certainly have been lost. She wasn't to know the OP hadn't been back. How would you know? This is just an isolated thread.

As a matter of information, why is it considered bad "netiquette" to revive an old thread? In the time I've been on here the same old stuff comes up time after time - but it's new to whoever is posting the question. What's the difference really? Genuinely curious...