dbd33

Does it seem reasonable that a parent would continue paying after the children have been removed? (Not particular this one, obviously the OP doesn't ask support from the "waste of space", but in general.)

fledermaus

How about some praise for the man who has agreed "for the kids sake" ??

Not bad for a waste of space.

iaink

Yes, it does.

Do they cease to be his kids? Of course not. He should (continue to) stand up like a man and accept responsibility for the consequences of his (1)5 minutes of unprotected fun.

dazzlerdaz

Good call

dbd33

It seems to me that when the other parent leaves the country with the children he is permanently deprived of contact with them, they're gone from his life, and so for him to continue to receive a bill for feeding them is excessive.

fledermaus

Especially when he's been told he's not good enough to look after them.

You would probably want to start a savings fund for them, maybe help them when they are older.

iaink

Utter nonsense, he was still responsible for the creation of those kids, so he should still have partial financial responsibility, whatever the frequency of contact. You aren't paying for the pleasure of their company, you are paying to clothe and feed the "fruit of your loins".

It takes two to decide a relationship is over, but the kids that resulted from it don't magically vanish, and neither do the associated expenses, regardless of where they are physically located and how often you might see them. However, the reality on the ground will mean that its impractical to expect the CSA to keep the payments coming I suspect.

dazzlerdaz

Maybe they should pay pro rata ! When they have visitation they pay ? (maybe then they would get more visits)

dbd33

The concept of support isn't based on a "squirt once pay forever" model but on shared responsibilities and multilateral relationships. In the case of the emigration of one parent, that parent is unilaterally ending the other parent's relationship with the children. To me the termination of the relationship implies termination of the responsibility.

moondevil

WHY should he stop paying for them....r they not his kids
Would you not move heaven and earth for your kids

OK i know there is some out there that will use this as an excuse, but if the father really loves his kids etc then he will do what is best
Also as the mother will remove the kids, it will be upto her to make sure that ports are open for him to keep in contact

OP - i would be speeding to the solicitors asap to get that paperwork signed

dbd33

It's not feasible to have "more visits" with a child in another country. For example, my ex is in Europe for the summer with one of our daughters. If I wanted to maintain the "every second weekend" arrangement we have through most of the year I would have to finance someone flying back and forth every fortnight. That's too expensive and too tiring to be workable.

Note that I don't pay child support anyway, only alimony, so financially it's not an issue to me where they live. However in terms of access it's very much an issue. If I did pay support I would certainly resent paying while not having access.

dbd33

If the leaving parent is willing to provide the staying one with something comparable to the level of access he or she would have had in England then I don't see the problem with emigrating. However, if the leaver can finance frequent trips to Canada for the stayer, then the question of support is moot.

iaink

You have first hand experience and certainly know more about the legal side of this, but to me that approach is simply morally wrong.


Morally it has nothing to do with access to the child, you aren't paying for an admission ticket to some show. If you were responsible in part for the creation of a life, then you should be partially financially responsible for that life until it achieves independence (or at least leaves education to venture out into the world...)

snowboarderlaura

It's all sorted.

I have an appointment for next week. I'm off to Holland snowboarding this weekend, so I can now relax and enjoy that.

snowboarderlaura

Yeah not bad at all.

Your posts always seem to have a snide dig at me!!

to dazzlerdaz....I don't want nor need my ex's money when we go to Canada. He can keep that so he can afford a flight over once a year or whatever.

£15 a week, that will pay for one flight a year with some money to spend here.

Yes thats right £15 a week. I'll sure miss that lifeline hahaha