Five years and homesickness increasing..
#17
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 93
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
my thoughts are increasingly on returning home. On paper, our lives here are good. The kids are doing well......
However, despite all thisI still feel homesick. I miss all the different types of friends I had, my work, the shared history, the kids not having access to immediate family, the sense of home and familiarity. I hate the frigid endless winter and then the black fly/mosquito season. Given that I’m the only one who feels like this, how can I even ask everyone to move back for me for something that might pass or how do I go on when I feel like my life is missing some part of it? I feel like I took my happy life before I moved and made it significantly worse..
I’m feeling trapped right now with no way to make a good decision.
Your words resonate so well with me. Trust me, you are not alone. (see one of my other threads - ignore the most recent ones as I was having a particular resentful/bitter night lol)
I am also looking for the solution to this seemingly endless inner turmoil. The feelings of isolation and somewhat desolation, magnified due to my wife, who's patience with me has understandably ran out, not feeling the same way. And has stated blatantly on many occasions she "is never going back".
I socialise/have a few beers with some expats. Guys who have a fairly similar background. They have been here for over 15 years, some longer. Even they admit they initially felt as I (and you) do. But I hate to say it, even after all this time they still "sometimes" feel homesick/disconnected etc.
So I don't think it will ever fully go away. (This is what concerns me)
Apart from saying I understand, and maybe all the usual "give it time" nonsense, I'm not sure what the answer is.
#18
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
I do get the family bit though. As my parents are now too old (in their minds at least) to travel here, I'm conscious that my kids are not as connected to their grand parents as I'd like them to be. The inevitable consequence is that every few years we head back to UK on vacation (3 weeks this summer) to reconnect.
Last week I did the annual visiting relatives thing. A daughter lives in Vancouver and, of course, no one wants to go there, so each year when she visits her mother and sister in Switzerland and my mother in England, I, and the sister who lives in exotic places, fly to see her and her children. This maintains annual family contact but it's not cheap and it's dependent on everyone having jobs that allow coincident trips. Still, that's what comes with emigration, it's a trade of culture and family for more stuff.
#19
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 37
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
So sorry you are feeling this way. When that mood hits, it's hard to focus on anything else. Many have felt that way and some feel that way constantly. Focus on the things you have here. Every time something nice happens, stop and appreciate it. I love my flat, every time I get to sit on the balcony with a fresh cup of coffee, I pause and think how great it is. And there are many days when that's all I have to look forward to. Appreciate how great everybody else is doing and how much better your life is here. It's not always easy. (hug)
#20
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
We will be celebrating 14 years in Red Deer very soon. At around year 5 we decided we wanted to move to Ontario, but decided to wait until DD finished school. She finished school 5 years ago and We are still unhappily here and a big reason for that is we can't decide weather Ontario is going to give us the balance we crave. What makes the decision slightly harder is my daughter is in Ontario and I miss her so very much. So it's with move to Ontario and see a little more of her or move to the UK and be the same flight distance we are now.
We were in the UK last year, both of us were subduedand emotional at the thought that we were having to go back to Canada. We seriously do not know what the best move will be, we just know we need to go, unfortunately plans for a move this year have been slightly scuppered as OH needs a minor operation, which will hopefully be very soon.
We were in the UK last year, both of us were subduedand emotional at the thought that we were having to go back to Canada. We seriously do not know what the best move will be, we just know we need to go, unfortunately plans for a move this year have been slightly scuppered as OH needs a minor operation, which will hopefully be very soon.
#21
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
Thank you for all your replies. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in my feelings. I appreciate that the UK is not all that and people would think we were crazy to move home. We do have Doug Ford in Ontario though so I think the countries are about square on that front.
We have a trip home planned for two weeks in the summer which I’m really looking forward too. I really need the UK to fair badly when we’re there otherwise I might not want to come back.
Basically sit tight and let the feelings pass, although as more time goes by it becomes harder and harder to go. If I’d acted on these feelings earlier then it might have been the right time. It’s way harder trying to decipher whether a move to the UK would be good than it was deciding to move here. How ridiculous!
We have a trip home planned for two weeks in the summer which I’m really looking forward too. I really need the UK to fair badly when we’re there otherwise I might not want to come back.
Basically sit tight and let the feelings pass, although as more time goes by it becomes harder and harder to go. If I’d acted on these feelings earlier then it might have been the right time. It’s way harder trying to decipher whether a move to the UK would be good than it was deciding to move here. How ridiculous!
#22
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
I’m at 5 years in September. My homesickness has mostly gone away except in regards to friends there and Primark!!! (The fashion choices in stores in Vancouver is terrible!!!).
My mother just visited for 2 weeks and I did find myself missing the UK a little more with the updates she had, things that my partner (Canadian) wouldn’t understand).
its tough at times
My mother just visited for 2 weeks and I did find myself missing the UK a little more with the updates she had, things that my partner (Canadian) wouldn’t understand).
its tough at times
#23
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
Clothing stores at malls are overpriced and the "affordable" clothing like Joe Fresh and at stores like Winners is terrible.
#24
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
That may be so but isn't buying clothes in Canada taking assimilation a bit far? Why not buy clothes on trips home, to the US, or by mail order from websites (allowing that nothing high fashion or perishable should be ordered via Canada Post)?
#25
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
Yeah, there's no need to really buy clothes from Canadian retailers, it's true. People order clothes online from all over the world these days. Still would be nice if there were better local options.
#26
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
True, decent clothing in the UK is much easier to come by, even at supermarkets like Sainsbury's. Here the outlet malls seem to really be the only place to get things that are affordable and decent.
Clothing stores at malls are overpriced and the "affordable" clothing like Joe Fresh and at stores like Winners is terrible.
Clothing stores at malls are overpriced and the "affordable" clothing like Joe Fresh and at stores like Winners is terrible.
#27
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
A damned if you do damned if you don't make the move. I don't envy the people who never left my own town anymore than I envy the cradles I meet who don't know any better.
#28
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
But thats the same for more more expensive clothing like Nike, Gucci and all of that - wether it’s low cost fashion or high class stuff - it’s all made in a sweat shop somewhere
#30
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
I must be totally assimilated then as I buy all my clothes from Costco these days!