Re: Is the dream real?
 

I'm fortunate that I can take my job most anywhere but leaving my family and heritage was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life.

reddeb32, from my own experience and reading various bits and pieces here, in blogs and the forum Judy mentioned, I think whether it's worth migrating away from family greatly depends on the relationship you have with your family - and what can be more unique and individual as that!?

From what I've read though, I think a lot of people benefit from time away from their family. Many people learn how much their family means to them and how much they want them in their daily lives - or closer than living a million miles away. Sometimes people have to learn that through being away. For me and some others, the separation is good for other reasons. From thousands of miles away, I can clearly see the screwy dynamics that go on in my family and I cringe at the thought of what I might be like today had I continued to marinate in that environment.

Just a general notion that I have; on balance I think being away, even temporarily, seems like a positive experience, either way, in terms of family.

Re: Is the dream real?
 

So far, we love our life here.

For my eldest particularly, he is a changed person. He has come out of his shell, he has direction and purpose. He is achieving at school (Current average mark of 97.4% in Chem 30!) He's been asked to be a peer tutor and has just come back from a successful job interview at Callaway Park (where he was offered a choice of 4 different jobs!). This is a lad who quite frankly was failing in the UK! He loves to ski, and really appreciates the beauty of the mountains.

My 14 year old misses his UK friends, and sometimes looks very sad, but even he says he is not sorry we moved here, and is not expressing any wish to return. He loves the mountains, and snowboarding, and is beginning to lose those rolls of lard resulting a hours of sitting stationary at his pc.

For me, work is quite stressful, but in kind of a good way .... I think it's mostly that I have so much info to get my head around! Hubby is finding things are getting easier as he starts to become known in his business.

What do we miss? Maybe greenness and old architecture ... a bit. Parents? yes. And have ongoing concerns about MIL who really has not taken our move well. But a few years back we were all SOOO depressed and unhappy with life, the difference is unbelievable! We feel it's the best move of our lives (so far!) :D

I wish MIL would agree to come out and see the lives we are making here, and the difference in the kids ..... but she won't. She says she has "said her goodbyes, and couldn't bear to break her heart all over again if she sees us again!" Good Grief! :rolleyes:

Re: Is the dream real?
 

Well not to rain on your parade but I would offer the following personal insights for you to consider Deana. I was born in the UK and left at age 7. Basically the same scenario as yourself. I too always enjoyed visits back to see the extended family and often thought I could enjoy living there (other than the weather of course).

Then I ended up living there. Well it was not exactly a disaster but I certainly now have a very different viewpoint of the UK having lived there for 6.5 years. In my opinion it is a second world country. The basic infrastructure ie. transportation, healthcare, education is poor. The standard of living for many is very low and only possible through subsidized council housing. The culture has degraded from honesty, hard work and family values, to one of welfare dependency and public drunkenness. Too many people living on too small an island like rats in a cage.

No doubt many here will want to defend their homeland and take exception to that paragraph, but remember, it is MY perception. You don't have to agree with it but you cannot change it. So don't waste your time.

I thought I was Scottish Deana until I lived there and discovered I was Canadian. I suspect that having lived in Canada from age 3, your perception right now of the UK is based not on fact but on an idealized vision of it as mine was.

Moving to Canada will not be an easy thing to do for most emmigrants but in the long run I think there is little doubt that they have a better chance of a good life for themselves and even more so for their children. Taking your kids to live in the UK and exposing them to the youth culture there would be a huge mistake in my opinion.

Re: Is the dream real?
 

Just a thought Karen but maybe the push factors seem to be missing simply because you are unable to see them. What I mean is that when someone grows up within a country, they accept as normal whatever exists. You cannot see something as being a push factor if it has always been that way and you know no differently.

Here is an example. In the UK you see ads in the newspaper by the Post Office advertising entry positions for 16 year olds. Leaving school at 16 is pretty common. When I as a Canadian living in the UK first saw that, I was shocked. How can a government agency like the Post Office be encouraging kids to leave school at 16? When I was growing up in Canada and was 16 (1962), leaving school at that age meant you were a 'dropout' and there was a definite stigma attached to that. I believe it is even moreso today.

For a government agency to advertise jobs for these dropouts would no doubt result in a public outcry by parents saying, 'don't you dare give my kids an excuse to quit school'. Compare that with the typical reaction of parents in the UK to kids leaving school at 16.

So push factors of which I would consider this one, are not always visible if you can't see things that have always been that way.

Re: Is the dream real?
 

How sad...poor woman..that made me feel like crying...does she have any grandchildren back home?

Re: Is the dream real?
 

You might also add that distance is no longer the factor that it used to be. The UK is under 10 hours away depending on where in Canada you live. With things like Skype and e-mail, you can be as in touch as you want with no financial hardship attached.

My wife and I lived 40 miles from most of her family. We saw them perhaps twice a year on average for the 6+ years we lived there. It might has well have been 10,000 miles. No difference.

Re: Is the dream real?
 

athome,
i many ways i agree with you and my gran is from cuba, lived in jamaica then has been here since the fifties. my mum came from jamaica in 1961. the uk had no pull factors for them, but jamaica certainly gave them push ones!!
but they were young enopugh to make mistakes, get jobs and build themselves up over many years. i do not have that sort of time!
for me i no longer have to worry about healthcare eligibility, professional exams for both nursing and social work, no worries about having a weak currency but never being able to afford to fly and spend when i come back to the u.k, no GST/PST issues,having no canadian experience,and asking constantly on this forum whether a 10 dollar a hour job will be enough to live in canada.
but for the boys i am sad about it all and i think it would be a great opportunity for them but not for me.

Re: Is the dream real?
 

Moving to Canada will not be an easy thing to do for most emmigrants but in the long run I think there is little doubt that they have a better chance of a good life for themselves and even more so for their children. Taking your kids to live in the UK and exposing them to the youth culture there would be a huge mistake in my opinion.[/QUOTE]



So, where do you live now?

Re: Is the dream real?
 

Which part of the UK are you specifcally describing with your comments? Tarring it all with the same brush I suspect. You don't mention where you're living now. No country is perfect and I'm offended at your slagging off of the UK. I no longer live in London (moved away a decade ago) but have just spent a weekend there and had no trouble with the public transport system. We didn't have to wait for longer than a couple of minutes for a tube and got around the city with ease.

I didn't like your post and find you a rather patronising person but then to quote you "No doubt many here will want to defend their homeland and take exception to that paragraph, but remember, it is MY perception. You don't have to agree with it but you cannot change it. So don't waste your time." I'm so glad you left the UK 'cos we can do without ignorant persons such as you!

Re: Is the dream real?
 

I used to swim in the ponds on hampstead heath, but its the only place i can think of where you could swim in a lake/pond

Re: Is the dream real?
 

I used to swim in my neighbour's pond as a kid, does that count? ;) It was in Portsmouth.

Re: Is the dream real?
 

that makes two, and my brother used to swim in some gravel pits so maybe 3!

Re: Is the dream real?
 

It IS sad, and I don't want to seem unsympathetic, I know it is a terrible blow for her. No, hubby is her only child, and his dad died a few short years ago, so she really is bereft! I hate to see her unhappy, and we knew what a blow this would be to her when we made the decision..... believe me, it was not made lightly and there have been many tears all round!

But, though she is in her early 80's she is fit and well, and hubby is 56, and I am 46, so we could not have lingered until she didn't need us any more, and ever made the move. For the boys sake, (and ours), it was then or not at all ...... We had to weigh things up, and put the family's need over hers. At times I hate myself for it. I wish she would come see us ..... she could stay as long as she wanted, ......she could probably even move here to be with us, like all the chinese families seem to do!

She's not afraid of flying. I do feel she has made this even worse than it needs to be, by effectively cutting us out of her life. Hubby calls her about once a week, and she seems happy enough just to chat, so long as we steer around anything emotionally upsetting. My own parents, same age, are coming to visit in September, and really looking forward to it!

It does tear me up.

Re: Is the dream real?
 

Dream? I'd hardly call it a dream. But I guess it depends on what you mean by dream. Life for me in Canada is almost identical to my life in the UK. I loved living in the UK and I love living in Canada. There are some differences but no more so than if you were to move to a different area of the UK.

The weather and the bugs are probably the biggest difference. The summers are possibly too hot (I can't believe I said that as I am a sunworshipper!!), the bugs are incessant but you do get used to them surprisingly. The winters are absolutely glorious!! I love the winters - dress correctly and you will love it too.......to wake up to blue skies and beautiful sunshine almost EVERY single morning in winter is just fabulous!!! Spring is a lovely season because it comes and goes sooooo quickly - changes appear literally before your eyes. Autumn/Fall is spectacular. I love the 4 seasons here.

We have always lived in small communities in the UK and have always been welcomed; as we have been welcomed here in Canada.

We used to have friends call in to see us unannounced in the UK if they were passing; the same happens here in Canada.

Money is harder to come by over here - or maybe not, thinking about it we had 2 very healthy incomes in the UK and only one now - still surviving and as our business is really summer orientated it should pull in far more income through the summer months than it did in the winter months, although the winter months weren't too bad surprisingly.

Our 9 year old daughter does miss her brothers and her Grandparents, however they have all been out to stay with us here in Ontario and everyone who has come out here has completely and utterly understood why we have done what we have done and love the area and our property as much as we do. My daughter has settled into school well, although the education system here is seriously substandard to the level she was being taught at in England. Having said that, she does enjoy school here - I think the laid back approach and the easiness of it all suits her, LOL!! She has as many friends here as she had in England and after a year and a half of living here, she has just recently been saying that she thinks she likes Canada better although she does still have wonderful memories of England.

Our life is not settled yet though as I live here with my daughter and my husband still lives in the UK. This has worked well but we both look forward to him being out here permanently hopefully by the end of this year. My husband dislikes returning to the UK, not because he dislikes the UK, but because he feels his home is here now. I can understand that, as I would hate to do this commute too.

We have many very good friends here - actually terrific friends; but again no better or worse than the wonderful friends we still have in England.

I honestly do think that if you try to look at emigrating as just moving, then it really isn't such a big deal - if you look at it as a "dream" you may end up in a nightmare! Don't put Canada on a pedestal - just accept her for what she is = just somewhere else to live.

Re: Is the dream real?
 

Tiaribbon, I think this is the most brilliant piece of advice I've seen in a long time. Maybe an unseen hand led me to this forum just so I could read this.