Originally Posted by JLT

Have not see you around for awhile, are you back in RH now!?

Originally Posted by Zoe Bell

After a month I could still barely find my way back to our condo , let alone consider if I had made a mistake or not.
It does get better , but some days it does get worse. I've been here a year now but will freely admit to having the wobbles on the odd occasion.
I love it here though , it was the best thing we ever did , I found the trick was to figure out what is making you feel this way and try to address the individual problems.

If you are missing friends then you need to socialise in order to find people to fill in these roles, It is very easy to feel overwhelmed, I felt very insecure to start with. I still do on some things. If this is the case then you need to research in order to feel more confident when dealing with new things ( i especially found this with banking stuff!)

Give yourself at least a year before you even consider changing , it may be you've just ended up in the wrong part of Canada , its a big place. If you are in a city , maybe you need a small town environment or vice versa

Feel free to Pm if you want to chat

Zoe

Originally Posted by Lorna at Vicenza

Hey - like I said - I never meant to sound rude .... just to say that in the first month one is so overwhelmed with homesickness and doubts and questions that it is hard if not impossible to quickly get used to new surroundings and everything else a big move entails. And yes - a month can be as long as a year but is it really enough to give a place a fair chance ?

Originally Posted by Lorna at Vicenza

again - sorry for slightly messing up the sequence of comments .... perhaps I'm the one going crazy.

But I do hope that the OP does start to feel better soon and I know she will get a lot of positive feedback form people on this forum. If only it had existed when I moved away .... it would have saved me many lonely nights in tears and writers cramp form long handedly writing to everyone back home.

Originally Posted by powerwrap

Longwayfromhome, i remember feeling like you do, many, many years ago when i first moved to the States back in 1991.
For me, the first 2 weeks felt like i was on holiday and all was great but then................i started to feel really homesick and dispondent. i started looking for reasons to dislike the US and everything about it, including the natives.... all of them ! This mindset went on for what seemed an eternity.
Then after about 2/3 months i started to come round and slowly get used to the differences, cultural and otherwise.
Then at around 4 months i seemed to stop missing ( not stop loving ) my family and friends back home and actually struggled to image ever living in England.
Once i was over the hill with the 'settling in' process i was happier than i ever thought i could be.
My only mistake was coming back when my work contract ran out.
Now i spend every waking moment trying to work out ways to get back over there for good !

Give it a bit more time..........you'll see

Originally Posted by MrsDV

Hi,

Just wanted to say hi and give a little moral support.

I think having spent so long getting here you owe it to yourself to give it a proper go. You could potentially spend a long time regretting it if you went back to the UK now.

Moving to a new country is hard, you miss your friends and family and the comfort of just knowing how things work. There will be days when it all seems really bad but it will get better. I have found people here very friendly and found that if I smile and explain I've just moved here they're generally happy to explain things or help me out.

Making new friends takes time and it also takes effort, it's something I'm not naturally very good at. I find I have to force myself into situations I'm not particularly comfortable with, but it's worth it.

Have you thought of joining some local clubs or groups? I know it sounds a bit naff but it really helps to meet other people. I went to the local library and found a book group which I've joined, there's also the local gym / recreation center. Where we are local church halls and community associations seem to have a lot of activities - even if it's something that's not quite 'your thing' it's worth getting involved in something just to meet people.

I've only been here three months but this is our third overseas move so I know what it's like and I know it gets easier. Tell yourself you're not going back, you're here for at least two years and accept that your new life is here. It will get better. If, after a couple of years, you still want to go back than at least you will know you gave it a chance and can make an informed decision and you will have had the experience of living in a different country.

Good Luck

MrsDV

Originally Posted by happy hatter

My simple advice would be to think of all the good things that made you think Canada would be a good place to live and concentrate on them; the little annoyances and homesickness will fade with time and the kids will adjust much quicker than you if they think you are happy.

Best of luck

HH

Originally Posted by busterboy

Agreed. I was in the exact same boat but in Australia.

It is really difficult to make rational decisions when emotions are in turmoil. OP, do nothing yet.

Originally Posted by startwin

Aww, I feel for you. I think we've all been there, done that. Many years ago when I first emigrated, I wanted to go home after the first week. I cried buckets. I was so miserable. My husband said, give it 3 months, then give it 6 months. By then the kids were totally immersed in the life, things got better (we had HUGE struggles in the beginning, financial and emotional). Still here and don't regret it more than 30 years later.

Just give it a bit more time. Don't feel like it's forever. Then maybe it won't seem so bad. If it works out for you that's great, and if you end up going back, well at least you tried. But do give it more time.

Originally Posted by Canada2006

We arrived in Montréal in August too with two abeit much younger children. I love it here; but my partner is finding it harder as she's missing her family and friends. She's spending a large part of her day on facebook.

It's certainly not been a holiday. We've bought a car, done a lot of paperwork, looked where we want to live, looked for schools, looked for daycare, bought a house and are looking for decorations. We've not even had the time yet to look for work.

It's been very stressful. Doing anything with the kids is hard work, then they need entertainment, feeding, they can't stop touching things, go to sleep really late, we're tired. It's hard work.

My partner told me she wanted to go back to Europe too, where things are simpler, schools are less rigid etc. Yet we came here for certain reasons and left Europe for certain solid reasons and all of that is still valid. We intend to give Canada a few years and can always go back - our problem is, if we do go back, go back where?

Moving has been harder, more stressful and more tiring than I ever imagined it would be and we're just about beginning to see the wood from the trees.

A side note: we met quite a lot of people at the childrens' play area; one of which told us about a restaurant with a play area. We've met a lot of similar people there over the past few weeks and I'm sure that they'll form a large part of our social structure going forward. It's funny how things work out. The Québeckers as a whole seem really quite interested in us.

Originally Posted by LotteW

As others have said, the first few months in a new country can be hard (hey it can be hard enought just moving to the other end of the UK!).

Culture shock and missing family and friends is the worst part of it.

I can well remember yelling at my husband while in tears telling him that I HATED Canada and wanted to go home. When I calmed down, I realised that it wasn't quite true - what I hated was the change, the disruption and the feeling that I didn't know "stuff".

And 2 yrs on I love it here.

Originally Posted by JLT

Hello there, before I reply I just feel it would be good to know what part of Ontario are you living?!

Originally Posted by JLT

OK now I'm confused.....?! Are you one of the same as longwayfromhome as I was trying to find out their location beings as though you replied to my post?

Originally Posted by Steve_P

Isn't anyone else here a little suspicious of the original post?

Or am I the only cynical old fart here.

Create an account state you lived here for a little over a month hate it and want to go home and then disappear.

I'd like the OP to come back and prove me wrong but so far I smell troll.

Originally Posted by happy hatter

Steve,
You may have a point but i live in hope you are wrong, a lot of nice people have donated considerable time to replying to this post.

HH

Originally Posted by longwayfromhome

Great now I hate that place have upset people and feel even worse...

Originally Posted by longwayfromhome

Dear cynical old fart - I can assure you it's all true unfortunately - I really wish it was'nt !! either we'd never started this or we were settling in a lot better. I didn't disappear I just can't always have access to a pc to respond quickly!!

Originally Posted by longwayfromhome

Cynical old fart is way off on this one, it's 100% genuine and the responses have been very much appreciated, I just don't have constant access to a pc having to share it with the rest of the household!! to respond quickly. Great now I hate that place have upset people and feel even worse...

Originally Posted by Steve_P

As you would have seen by a later post the "cynical old fart" apologised.

No you haven't upset people.

I hope that Canada soon becomes all you had hoped it would be, it may not be easy but then no-one ever said it was going to be easy or at least they shouldn't have.

Originally Posted by Morwenna

Bah, don't worry about that!

I'm just sorry you feel so strongly that this is wrong for you now. A big part of me is willing to bet that it's much too soon to consider going back though, having made this leap. It's like you've jumped off, but decided half-way down that you don't like it and want to go back. You really haven't landed yet from that leap, and I believe it's just cold feet.

You and your husband need to pull together to make it work, or both be 100% sure it's a mistake if you go back, or this thing might eat away at you both!

As for the kids, I really wouldn't worry about them re schooling. Many many kids these days retake years or take a year out (or two in my son's case!) and find their own place again. In the whole timescale of their lives one year will not hold them back, and the experience will make them stronger. I know of a few people who would have run back home, maybe many times, over the first year here, and it does take time for lots of people to feel like Canada is home. Maybe you need more time? Maybe you are in the wrong place?

Willing to bet that if you go back now, you'll regret it far more in the long run. Talk to the folks on here who have PM'd you and are offereing their support .... stay focussed on why you came, and put those negative feelings aside if you are to make this work.

Originally Posted by Elaine B.

Have you checked out the Moving Back forum? You may get some practical help there from people in a similar position.

Originally Posted by Novocastrian

- the old prairie dog
+cynical old fart

g'wan, you know you want to.

To the OP; I don't know how you met fledermaus, but she's just the person I'd like to know if I was in your situation.

Hang in there. It'll be fine.

Originally Posted by Novocastrian

No. I'm still in Deutschland. Probably will return end of November in time to check out the a-snowing situation first hand.

Cheers.

Originally Posted by longwayfromhome

Yes sorry I was on my husbands pc so came up as his user whoops!, I've now also responded!! I'm still trying to get the hang of this.