Bittersweet Christmas
Dec 26th 2008, 3:24 pm
#16
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 407
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
And this is exactly my concern ..
I have only been here almost 3 weeks and it is so nice compared to England moreso Leicester ..
My children settled have settled into school .. well 3 days .. my eldest who's 13 has the lowest confidence ever as bullied for so many years (my children have actually argued over who has the most friends, never thought i would hear that). They are so behind though, just shows how much the English schools are dumbing down the work
And if it all goes pear shaped what do i do????
Return to England, get myself put into a hostel (my parents downsized so only has a 2 bed house) .. get my kids into school where noone cares about their future, have them violently assulted on a regular basis (during 6 months 4 incidents and the police involved twice on assults on my 13 yr old).. listen to pissheads on a friday/ saturday night screaming and fighting because they cant handle their booze and have no respect for those who are sleeping ..why should the government care about the law abiding people .. they are in their nice houses, in their nice villages cut off from the rest of society, their kids are going to get a great education .. and pray
OR
Stay in canada .. be a one parent family, hope that a job pays enough so im not on the poverty line, my kids get a great education, and im alone in a foreign country ..
I never want to return to England .. unless you've been there recently, you dont have an idea just how much its done to the dogs .. although talking to my mum yesterday and hearing her cry .. i feel like im making people around me unhappy both mum and hubby .. i cant win
Why cant things go to plan ..
I suppose you just have to be grateful for what you have, when you have it .. and hope for the best
I have only been here almost 3 weeks and it is so nice compared to England moreso Leicester ..
My children settled have settled into school .. well 3 days .. my eldest who's 13 has the lowest confidence ever as bullied for so many years (my children have actually argued over who has the most friends, never thought i would hear that). They are so behind though, just shows how much the English schools are dumbing down the work
And if it all goes pear shaped what do i do????
Return to England, get myself put into a hostel (my parents downsized so only has a 2 bed house) .. get my kids into school where noone cares about their future, have them violently assulted on a regular basis (during 6 months 4 incidents and the police involved twice on assults on my 13 yr old).. listen to pissheads on a friday/ saturday night screaming and fighting because they cant handle their booze and have no respect for those who are sleeping ..why should the government care about the law abiding people .. they are in their nice houses, in their nice villages cut off from the rest of society, their kids are going to get a great education .. and pray
OR
Stay in canada .. be a one parent family, hope that a job pays enough so im not on the poverty line, my kids get a great education, and im alone in a foreign country ..
I never want to return to England .. unless you've been there recently, you dont have an idea just how much its done to the dogs .. although talking to my mum yesterday and hearing her cry .. i feel like im making people around me unhappy both mum and hubby .. i cant win
Why cant things go to plan ..
I suppose you just have to be grateful for what you have, when you have it .. and hope for the best
I'm a firm believe that things, good and bad, happen for a reason. Hang on in there, start building a support network and I'm sure you will look back in 12 months from a very very different place indeed.
Your mum will be unhappy, it must be so hard for her, like it is so hard for my mum. We have shed more than a few tears these past few months. However, my mum took my eldest in her arms yesterday during yet more tears and begged her to give Canada a chance, she said it was probably too late for her but that our kids should fulfil her dreams and try to make a better life. God only knows how hard that must have been for her.
I feel very much that I've had to chose between my parents and inlaws and my kids future but I can't see how this country will be 10 years from now, never mind 20 and so we have to be strong to give them a fighting chance in the future.
Wishing you a fabulous 2009 and keep strong, if you ever need anyone to chat to just yell.
Dec 26th 2008, 3:25 pm
#17
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 407
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
England is alovely country --- "to visit"
i wouldnt live there again, if things didnt work for us here, then i'd move somewhere else..........to return with children is not an option for me
my little buds have blossomed here within a few months and to return i believe would not be good for them
We started the move in 2006, finally arrived here afew months ago and can remember the bittersweet bit back in the uk......
TOO all those who said that we would never do it ---
For all those who are going through the bittersweet bit, hold tight it will happen, may take a massive push from you, but with abit of a kick it will happen -- good luck
i wouldnt live there again, if things didnt work for us here, then i'd move somewhere else..........to return with children is not an option for me
my little buds have blossomed here within a few months and to return i believe would not be good for them
We started the move in 2006, finally arrived here afew months ago and can remember the bittersweet bit back in the uk......
TOO all those who said that we would never do it ---
For all those who are going through the bittersweet bit, hold tight it will happen, may take a massive push from you, but with abit of a kick it will happen -- good luck
Thank you.
Your post made me smile!!
Dec 26th 2008, 3:28 pm
#18
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 407
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
My MIL took our leaving very hard she didn't and couldn't understand why we left. But we just kept reminding ourselvs that our darling son deserved a better life and being in the UK, which we become to hate ourselves, he was not going to get one. So it made our goodbyes so much easier, furthermore in-laws came out in September and finally realised why we did it!
To be honest, we settled into our new life the minute we got on the plane as we knew that there was no return. What would we be returning back too?... so it had to work out and it has.
I really hope that everyone manages to sell or rent their homes in order to start the new life that awaits them.
Good Luck to you all
To be honest, we settled into our new life the minute we got on the plane as we knew that there was no return. What would we be returning back too?... so it had to work out and it has.
I really hope that everyone manages to sell or rent their homes in order to start the new life that awaits them.
Good Luck to you all
Like you if Canada doesn't work out for us then I never see us returning here, we would have to find a place for ourselves somewhere else in this big world!
Dec 26th 2008, 3:30 pm
#19
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 407
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
I just read through your post and that other thread; it is all very sad.
Ironic when i think of the positive aspects of the present day commonwealth as compared to how decrepit ' the motherland' seems to have become and I recall, in the late fifties and early sixties, when the colonies were granted their independence and the concern, expressed then, that these countries would descend into chaos without British rule.
Indeed a few did but most did quite well thank you without the Brits .
Ironic when i think of the positive aspects of the present day commonwealth as compared to how decrepit ' the motherland' seems to have become and I recall, in the late fifties and early sixties, when the colonies were granted their independence and the concern, expressed then, that these countries would descend into chaos without British rule.
Indeed a few did but most did quite well thank you without the Brits .
Dec 26th 2008, 3:31 pm
#20
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 520
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
Why dont the police do something about the unruly youth in England.
I read so much on the site about drunk kids etc.
Here in Canada like everywhere else we have some trouble with the youth but the police where I live will not put up with public displays, and would run them in then fines.
I cannot believe how much my native country has gone down the pan.
But then maybe many of their parents are a glowing example of not handling booze very well, monkey see monkey do mentality.
I live in a city in Ontario and to date have never witnessed young gangs of youth pissed, it must be scarry especially for the elderly.
It will be hard for you leaving family behind but we ajust given time.
I read so much on the site about drunk kids etc.
Here in Canada like everywhere else we have some trouble with the youth but the police where I live will not put up with public displays, and would run them in then fines.
I cannot believe how much my native country has gone down the pan.
But then maybe many of their parents are a glowing example of not handling booze very well, monkey see monkey do mentality.
I live in a city in Ontario and to date have never witnessed young gangs of youth pissed, it must be scarry especially for the elderly.
It will be hard for you leaving family behind but we ajust given time.
""Why dont the police do something about the unruly youth in England.""
Sugar, that is a question someone would've asked 15 years ago. No one asks that question anymore because most know the answer. Which is:
The Police are so bogged down with paperwork that to arrest this trash that plague our streets would take forever. Plus, combine that with half of these scum-bags being told by ruthless solicitors "What not to say" so as to make the their lives easier in court where the case will fall flat on a technicality!
Hence, the scum-bag walks free to make someone else's life a misery again! Combine that also with the fact that the Police don't have the resources, or the tools for that matter to do the job, plus they're bogged down with so much Red tape it's just an uphill battle.
I was in Calgary in March of this year and I was telling a Canadian guy about the fact that it was great just to be able to leave my Tom-Tom in the window 24/7 without having to dismantle thing everytime I pulled up.
When I told him, if I was to do this in Birmingham city centre I'd be amazed if the side window was not smashed after 20 mins of parking and the unit taken!
He replied: "Mannnnn Surely that's a Police matter!" Yes it is, and it's a crime too, but I can assure you if I telephoned the Police and said:
"I left my Tom-Tom in the window while I went shopping, and on my return it was gone" They'd just take the details and say "sorry to hear that sir" once having put the phone down, he would say to a colleague no doubt, what an idiot! Fancy doing that, and he'd be right too!
You really could go on for hours about the situation here in the Uk, but until "Jackie Smith" decides to get tough, and I mean tough! Her idea of tough is probably to give them two meals a day instead of three, or turn the heating down in their cell a few degree's.
My idea of tough is this, take the trash who murdered "Garry Newlove" last year, all he did was try to stop these Mungrels from taking his car. His punishment for interfering with their misguided fun! They murdered him! There punisment for this can be seen here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/m...de/7176471.stm
Left to me, I'd have sent all three not to some cushy climate controlled Uk prison, where you get your own councillor. I mean, heaven forbid they're human rights might be infringed!
No! I'd like to send them to some Bangkok "S**T H**E and give them 35 years each, I just bet they'd be screaming for their Momma's after 2 weeks!
Now that's justice! Give this sentence for 12 months here and maybe, just maybe! The penny would drop even in a Scumbags head - as thick as they are! If it detered one murder, it's worked!
Sorry if this got heavey going
but I have to say punishment here is just a joke, and Police are just fighting a never ending losing battle! No wonder moral is so low in the force.Well you did ask Sugar
Y
Dec 26th 2008, 3:44 pm
#21
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 34
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
The police don't do anything because their hands are tied, they no longer have any effective means of dealing with these kids. The only real thing they can do is impliment asbo's but these are collected with pride by these thugs and is anything other than a deterrant. The police cannot arrest them and as householders we are advised not to approach the thugs in any way shape or form. The other night I had to call the police (see my earlier thread entitled "Tonight". The police came round here that evening to tell us that under no circumstances should we reprimand these thugs for smashing up our property - a) because they are likely to stab us or b) because they will target the house even more and c) because they don't have the resource to actually deal with anything that happens as a result!!!
And therein lies much of the problem, the police are under resourced, they have very few means to tackle these jobs, they are targetted to death and tied up with beurocracy.
I do think it is a case of monkey sees, monkey does - again explained in the post entitled Tonight but imho there is a massive breakdown in family and community and until this is tackled and challenged then I don't see how there can be any improvement.
In fact last night as we were laying in bed being kept awake by half a dozen kids outside the hosue screaming and singing pissed out of their brains we were discussing on what can actually be done to reverse what has happened here. I think the damage will take generations to undo, 20, 30 or even 40 years, it is that bad. Where does it stop we just don't know.
And therein lies much of the problem, the police are under resourced, they have very few means to tackle these jobs, they are targetted to death and tied up with beurocracy.
I do think it is a case of monkey sees, monkey does - again explained in the post entitled Tonight but imho there is a massive breakdown in family and community and until this is tackled and challenged then I don't see how there can be any improvement.
In fact last night as we were laying in bed being kept awake by half a dozen kids outside the hosue screaming and singing pissed out of their brains we were discussing on what can actually be done to reverse what has happened here. I think the damage will take generations to undo, 20, 30 or even 40 years, it is that bad. Where does it stop we just don't know.
Maybe the people on the site who put down Canada and cannot wait to get out,are the ones who don't have to take their children back to that situation.
Ignore the negativity you read on this site, life is what you make it.
I hope you can get out soon and will find most Canadians are very friendly and welcoming, for a cold country we have a lot of "warm hearts".
The way the country opened their hearts and pocket books to familes in need
this Christmas made me feel proud to say.
I AM CANADIAN
Dec 26th 2008, 3:48 pm
#22
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 34
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
Hi Sugar,
""Why dont the police do something about the unruly youth in England.""
Sugar, that is a question someone would've asked 15 years ago. No one asks that question anymore because most know the answer. Which is:
The Police are so bogged down with paperwork that to arrest this trash that plague our streets would take forever. Plus, combine that with half of these scum-bags being told by ruthless solicitors "What not to say" so as to make the their lives easier in court where the case will fall flat on a technicality!
Hence, the scum-bag walks free to make someone else's life a misery again! Combine that also with the fact that the Police don't have the resources, or the tools for that matter to do the job, plus they're bogged down with so much Red tape it's just an uphill battle.
I was in Calgary in March of this year and I was telling a Canadian guy about the fact that it was great just to be able to leave my Tom-Tom in the window 24/7 without having to dismantle thing everytime I pulled up.
When I told him, if I was to do this in Birmingham city centre I'd be amazed if the side window was not smashed after 20 mins of parking and the unit taken!
He replied: "Mannnnn Surely that's a Police matter!" Yes it is, and it's a crime too, but I can assure you if I telephoned the Police and said:
"I left my Tom-Tom in the window while I went shopping, and on my return it was gone" They'd just take the details and say "sorry to hear that sir" once having put the phone down, he would say to a colleague no doubt, what an idiot! Fancy doing that, and he'd be right too!
You really could go on for hours about the situation here in the Uk, but until "Jackie Smith" decides to get tough, and I mean tough! Her idea of tough is probably to give them two meals a day instead of three, or turn the heating down in their cell a few degree's.
My idea of tough is this, take the trash who murdered "Garry Newlove" last year, all he did was try to stop these Mungrels from taking his car. His punishment for interfering with their misguided fun! They murdered him! There punisment for this can be seen here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/m...de/7176471.stm
Left to me, I'd have sent all three not to some cushy climate controlled Uk prison, where you get your own councillor. I mean, heaven forbid they're human rights might be infringed!
No! I'd like to send them to some Bangkok "S**T H**E and give them 35 years each, I just bet they'd be screaming for their Momma's after 2 weeks!
Now that's justice! Give this sentence for 12 months here and maybe, just maybe! The penny would drop even in a Scumbags head - as thick as they are! If it detered one murder, it's worked!
Sorry if this got heavey going but I have to say punishment here is just a joke, and Police are just fighting a never ending losing battle! No wonder moral is so low in the force.
Well you did ask Sugar
Y
""Why dont the police do something about the unruly youth in England.""
Sugar, that is a question someone would've asked 15 years ago. No one asks that question anymore because most know the answer. Which is:
The Police are so bogged down with paperwork that to arrest this trash that plague our streets would take forever. Plus, combine that with half of these scum-bags being told by ruthless solicitors "What not to say" so as to make the their lives easier in court where the case will fall flat on a technicality!
Hence, the scum-bag walks free to make someone else's life a misery again! Combine that also with the fact that the Police don't have the resources, or the tools for that matter to do the job, plus they're bogged down with so much Red tape it's just an uphill battle.
I was in Calgary in March of this year and I was telling a Canadian guy about the fact that it was great just to be able to leave my Tom-Tom in the window 24/7 without having to dismantle thing everytime I pulled up.
When I told him, if I was to do this in Birmingham city centre I'd be amazed if the side window was not smashed after 20 mins of parking and the unit taken!
He replied: "Mannnnn Surely that's a Police matter!" Yes it is, and it's a crime too, but I can assure you if I telephoned the Police and said:
"I left my Tom-Tom in the window while I went shopping, and on my return it was gone" They'd just take the details and say "sorry to hear that sir" once having put the phone down, he would say to a colleague no doubt, what an idiot! Fancy doing that, and he'd be right too!
You really could go on for hours about the situation here in the Uk, but until "Jackie Smith" decides to get tough, and I mean tough! Her idea of tough is probably to give them two meals a day instead of three, or turn the heating down in their cell a few degree's.
My idea of tough is this, take the trash who murdered "Garry Newlove" last year, all he did was try to stop these Mungrels from taking his car. His punishment for interfering with their misguided fun! They murdered him! There punisment for this can be seen here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/m...de/7176471.stm
Left to me, I'd have sent all three not to some cushy climate controlled Uk prison, where you get your own councillor. I mean, heaven forbid they're human rights might be infringed!
No! I'd like to send them to some Bangkok "S**T H**E and give them 35 years each, I just bet they'd be screaming for their Momma's after 2 weeks!
Now that's justice! Give this sentence for 12 months here and maybe, just maybe! The penny would drop even in a Scumbags head - as thick as they are! If it detered one murder, it's worked!
Sorry if this got heavey going
but I have to say punishment here is just a joke, and Police are just fighting a never ending losing battle! No wonder moral is so low in the force.Well you did ask Sugar
Y
Dec 26th 2008, 3:50 pm
#23
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 520
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
Well after a rather eventful night outside last night again with gangs of pissed kids setting off fireworks and having punch ups (oh joy) when we were counting down the days until we leave, today was rather bittersweet, knowing that in all liklihood this would be the last manic Christmas spent shuffling between families and so on, feeling rather sad that this will be our last Christmas here.
It has been a very strange day indeed.
It has been a very strange day indeed.
The joys of the Uk when the sun goes down eh? Bless em!
Well Tiny, it may be sad it's your last Christmas here with close family and friends.
But look at this way, if they're pissed up, fighting, and setting off fireworks this Christmas, by the time Christmas 09 comes, they'll be shooting each other for sure, as the novelty of the fireworks "Bang" just won't do it for them anymore!
At least in Canada you won't be subjected to that!
Y
Dec 26th 2008, 4:01 pm
#24
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 407
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
Hi Tiny,
The joys of the Uk when the sun goes down eh? Bless em!
Well Tiny, it may be sad it's your last Christmas here with close family and friends.
But look at this way, if they're pissed up, fighting, and setting off fireworks this Christmas, by the time Christmas 09 comes, they'll be shooting each other for sure, as the novelty of the fireworks "Bang" just won't do it for them anymore!
At least in Canada you won't be subjected to that!
Y
The joys of the Uk when the sun goes down eh? Bless em!
Well Tiny, it may be sad it's your last Christmas here with close family and friends.
But look at this way, if they're pissed up, fighting, and setting off fireworks this Christmas, by the time Christmas 09 comes, they'll be shooting each other for sure, as the novelty of the fireworks "Bang" just won't do it for them anymore!
At least in Canada you won't be subjected to that!
Y
And with that, I am going to put on my coat and seek solace for a few hours elsewhere!
Dec 26th 2008, 4:14 pm
#25
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 520
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
Thanks Yogi, we are banking on us not being subjected to this. We are dreading tonight - in fact we are going out for it - Fridays are hideously bad normally, add in to the mix that most will have been drinking all day (as they were yesterday), we have seen "neighbours" across the street outside with their cans of lager all day so we are waiting for the obligatory fighting and so on that is bound to take place later, they are already getting noisier.
And with that, I am going to put on my coat and seek solace for a few hours elsewhere!
And with that, I am going to put on my coat and seek solace for a few hours elsewhere!
OMG
What on earth as it come to when you have to dread the night time coming around?I'm surprised you're putting on your coat and venturing out! You're a brave lady that's for sure.
You'll surely think you're in heaven once having arrived in Canada
Well Tiny, keep focussing on the fact that next Christmas will be so much better
Should any of your family ask you: "Why are you going"
Just tell them to look out the window!
From what you've said, I'd have thought Afghanistan would be a dream Take care.
Y
Dec 26th 2008, 5:51 pm
#26
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Windsor, ON
Posts: 3,374
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
Many of our friends don't think we will go, one said to me the other day that we will sell the house and move locally, she really doesn't believe that we will go - I felt really insulted tbh but we will prove them wrong because we *are* going without a doubt we will get there.
Then once you're here, they'll spend their time trying to justify how the UK is better than Canada
Dec 26th 2008, 6:42 pm
#27
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Kelowna, BC
Posts: 289
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
This is so true - even my work colleague a few days before I was leaving said to me " I never thought you would do it"!..............now why the hell not? I spent 2 months at work arranging our emigration. Now this person keeps emailing me that he wants to come and visit. We were close but not that close!
Many people probably don't have the balls to do it, or many are 'frightened of change' and others simply would never consider it. It's one of the bravest things we have ever did and now we realise that if we can do this then we can do anything.
TBH, I didn't care what people thought as my family were my only concern - we were leaving and that was it!
Last edited by Tracie107; Dec 26th 2008 at 6:44 pm.
Dec 26th 2008, 9:17 pm
#28
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 407
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
We have been speaking to family, friends and acquaintences and there is only one couple that have said anything negative at all. The vast majority say "I don't blame you in the slightest". I think more people would do it if it wasn't for complex family set ups - many are on second marriages and wouldn't leave the kids from their first marriage and so on, many more wouldn't leave their parents and god knows I understand that one, it is the hardest thing of all for me.
Many don't believe we will go through with it because the mirror their own fears about leaving onto us and therefore don't think we will be "brave" enough to make the break.
The only people that have openly challenged our motives for moving are the same friends that voted in favour of the congestion charge and very much believe in the wlefare state and the division of wealth/taxes but that is a whole different debate!
We went out tonight as came back to find the car has been written on - we have had to leave it on the road outside our house as it is broken and we didn't think we would be able to get it off the path.
Tick tock tick tock, each passing second is a second closer to us leaving but more importantly and more positively it is a second closer to our new life, something we are so excited about starting.
Many don't believe we will go through with it because the mirror their own fears about leaving onto us and therefore don't think we will be "brave" enough to make the break.
The only people that have openly challenged our motives for moving are the same friends that voted in favour of the congestion charge
and very much believe in the wlefare state and the division of wealth/taxes but that is a whole different debate!We went out tonight as came back to find the car has been written on - we have had to leave it on the road outside our house as it is broken and we didn't think we would be able to get it off the path.
Tick tock tick tock, each passing second is a second closer to us leaving but more importantly and more positively it is a second closer to our new life, something we are so excited about starting.
Dec 26th 2008, 9:21 pm
#29
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 407
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
Hi Tiny,
OMG What on earth as it come to when you have to dread the night time coming around?
I'm surprised you're putting on your coat and venturing out! You're a brave lady that's for sure.
You'll surely think you're in heaven once having arrived in Canada
Well Tiny, keep focussing on the fact that next Christmas will be so much better Should any of your family ask you:
"Why are you going"
Just tell them to look out the window! From what you've said, I'd have thought Afghanistan would be a dream
Take care.
Y
OMG
What on earth as it come to when you have to dread the night time coming around?I'm surprised you're putting on your coat and venturing out! You're a brave lady that's for sure.
You'll surely think you're in heaven once having arrived in Canada
Well Tiny, keep focussing on the fact that next Christmas will be so much better
Should any of your family ask you: "Why are you going"
Just tell them to look out the window!
From what you've said, I'd have thought Afghanistan would be a dream Take care.
Y
Thanks Yogi, that is what we do say, along with all the other positives. Tonight we went for a drive and a very short walk (well away from here) from one set of friends house to another, the kids made us promise that when we get to Canada we will walk more and see the stars, because they thoroughly enjoyed it tonight. We can't wait til we are able to experience evening walks and outdoor experiences, we are all sick of being cooped up here. Even though we have an 8ft high wall to the side and back of our house the oinks still jump over or throw over bottles and other missles and often the kids are too scared now to go out in our own back garden on the trampoline.
Thanks for your thoughts Yogi, much appreciated.
Dec 26th 2008, 9:30 pm
#30
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Windsor, ON
Posts: 3,374
Re: Bittersweet Christmas
We can't wait til we are able to experience evening walks and outdoor experiences, we are all sick of being cooped up here. Even though we have an 8ft high wall to the side and back of our house the oinks still jump over or throw over bottles and other missles and often the kids are too scared now to go out in our own back garden on the trampoline.