Thyroid Thread - Part Deux
Nov 13th 2009 | 8:21 am
#226
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 960
Re: Thyroid Thread - Part Deux
Well your glands could be going up and down as part of a low level virus... and you could still have a goitre as they don't always present on the front of your neck... some people get them growing into the back of the throat and down into the aortic arch... I think it's called... and the scan doesn't always pick that up.
Have you had your thyroid antibodies checked? If you have any, you have Hashi's and that can affect your immune system... hence glands. But there's a lot going round at the moment.
And thank you, I am really well. I'm getting back into running, doing lots of gardening, busy running round like a headless chicken working and best of all, the sun is shining, on and off.
I can honestly say I've never been happier.
Life is good.
Have you had your thyroid antibodies checked? If you have any, you have Hashi's and that can affect your immune system... hence glands. But there's a lot going round at the moment.
And thank you, I am really well. I'm getting back into running, doing lots of gardening, busy running round like a headless chicken working and best of all, the sun is shining, on and off.
I can honestly say I've never been happier.
Life is good.
Try not to over do it with the "running around like a headless chicken".
Funny you mention a virus, my doctor picked up i had got an infection in and around the nose area and has given me some cream for it, but i have had the goitre for a lot longer than that though.
I must say that i too am feeling my best at this present time, as i have just had three months in Spain with work and the sunshine and warmth has done me the world of good.
I must say now i am back i really felt the cold today and my body seemed to start its usual shutting down process.
I am back to doing lots of walking for the circulation and finding each week i can do a little bit more.
Nov 15th 2009 | 2:40 pm
#227
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Thyroid Thread - Part Deux
I am so glad all is well for you, i wish you all the best with things.
Try not to over do it with the "running around like a headless chicken".
Funny you mention a virus, my doctor picked up i had got an infection in and around the nose area and has given me some cream for it, but i have had the goitre for a lot longer than that though.
I must say that i too am feeling my best at this present time, as i have just had three months in Spain with work and the sunshine and warmth has done me the world of good.
I must say now i am back i really felt the cold today and my body seemed to start its usual shutting down process.
I am back to doing lots of walking for the circulation and finding each week i can do a little bit more.
Try not to over do it with the "running around like a headless chicken".
Funny you mention a virus, my doctor picked up i had got an infection in and around the nose area and has given me some cream for it, but i have had the goitre for a lot longer than that though.
I must say that i too am feeling my best at this present time, as i have just had three months in Spain with work and the sunshine and warmth has done me the world of good.
I must say now i am back i really felt the cold today and my body seemed to start its usual shutting down process.
I am back to doing lots of walking for the circulation and finding each week i can do a little bit more.
They're not cheap but help you feel the way you feel during the summer....
http://www.lighttherapy.com.au/?gcli...FYIvpAodqxHxpQ
Alternatively, looking at Vitamin D supplementation to alleviate symptoms can also help.
:-)
I only do the headless chicken thing when I feel my best too, which as it happens, is all the time at the moment.
Nov 18th 2009 | 9:28 am
#228
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 960
Re: Thyroid Thread - Part Deux
Three months in Spain sounds lovely. I know that if you suffer during the winter months then getting a daylight box can really help you out.
They're not cheap but help you feel the way you feel during the summer....
http://www.lighttherapy.com.au/?gcli...FYIvpAodqxHxpQ
Alternatively, looking at Vitamin D supplementation to alleviate symptoms can also help.
:-)
I only do the headless chicken thing when I feel my best too, which as it happens, is all the time at the moment.
They're not cheap but help you feel the way you feel during the summer....
http://www.lighttherapy.com.au/?gcli...FYIvpAodqxHxpQ
Alternatively, looking at Vitamin D supplementation to alleviate symptoms can also help.
:-)
I only do the headless chicken thing when I feel my best too, which as it happens, is all the time at the moment.
I just never seem to sit down for five mins.
This day light box that you mention, if im referring to the same one i have heard about gives off brightness like the daylight so you dont feel so down over the winter months.
It was the initial warmth of the weather that did me the world of good as i suffer from the Raynauds and as soon as i get back to the cold winters i start to suffer quite bad, but i will look into what you mention just to make sure.
The vitamin D sounds good, but i would have to check with my doctor first to make sure i am allowed to take them.
Thanks TiddlyPom.
Nov 18th 2009 | 2:01 pm
#229
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Thyroid Thread - Part Deux
I am just the same, my mother-in-law can not understand how i never stop.
I just never seem to sit down for five mins.
This day light box that you mention, if im referring to the same one i have heard about gives off brightness like the daylight so you dont feel so down over the winter months.
It was the initial warmth of the weather that did me the world of good as i suffer from the Raynauds and as soon as i get back to the cold winters i start to suffer quite bad, but i will look into what you mention just to make sure.
The vitamin D sounds good, but i would have to check with my doctor first to make sure i am allowed to take them.
Thanks TiddlyPom.
I just never seem to sit down for five mins.
This day light box that you mention, if im referring to the same one i have heard about gives off brightness like the daylight so you dont feel so down over the winter months.
It was the initial warmth of the weather that did me the world of good as i suffer from the Raynauds and as soon as i get back to the cold winters i start to suffer quite bad, but i will look into what you mention just to make sure.
The vitamin D sounds good, but i would have to check with my doctor first to make sure i am allowed to take them.
Thanks TiddlyPom.
Nov 22nd 2009 | 6:39 pm
#230
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 157
From: Western Australia
Re: Thyroid Thread - Part Deux
Just thought I would share my recent experience, went into hospital last Friday to have half of my thryoid removed and a 4.5cm nodule. It had been planned a few months ago following lots of tests and a biopsy.
Was so worried beforehand, mainly about not waking up - silly I know, but with 3 kids you do worry about the furture, I even checked the life insurance was o.k.
Anyway, the operation was quite quick, about 2/3 hours and I was home the following day. Just have a very sore neck now and pretty tired.
Have to see my consultant next week to find out if it was cancer, if it is they will remove the other half of the thyroid. He seems quite positive though that it will probably be benign, so fingers crossed.
There was another lady in the hospital having the exact same thing done as me!
The thing the consultant did say was once you have a nodule the only way to confirm if it is cancer is to remove it and test it, just wished it was all over - it has been months of tests and waiting for results.
Was so worried beforehand, mainly about not waking up - silly I know, but with 3 kids you do worry about the furture, I even checked the life insurance was o.k.
Anyway, the operation was quite quick, about 2/3 hours and I was home the following day. Just have a very sore neck now and pretty tired.
Have to see my consultant next week to find out if it was cancer, if it is they will remove the other half of the thyroid. He seems quite positive though that it will probably be benign, so fingers crossed.
There was another lady in the hospital having the exact same thing done as me!
The thing the consultant did say was once you have a nodule the only way to confirm if it is cancer is to remove it and test it, just wished it was all over - it has been months of tests and waiting for results.
Nov 24th 2009 | 5:33 pm
#231
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Thyroid Thread - Part Deux
Just thought I would share my recent experience, went into hospital last Friday to have half of my thryoid removed and a 4.5cm nodule. It had been planned a few months ago following lots of tests and a biopsy.
Was so worried beforehand, mainly about not waking up - silly I know, but with 3 kids you do worry about the furture, I even checked the life insurance was o.k.
Anyway, the operation was quite quick, about 2/3 hours and I was home the following day. Just have a very sore neck now and pretty tired.
Have to see my consultant next week to find out if it was cancer, if it is they will remove the other half of the thyroid. He seems quite positive though that it will probably be benign, so fingers crossed.
There was another lady in the hospital having the exact same thing done as me!
The thing the consultant did say was once you have a nodule the only way to confirm if it is cancer is to remove it and test it, just wished it was all over - it has been months of tests and waiting for results.
Was so worried beforehand, mainly about not waking up - silly I know, but with 3 kids you do worry about the furture, I even checked the life insurance was o.k.
Anyway, the operation was quite quick, about 2/3 hours and I was home the following day. Just have a very sore neck now and pretty tired.
Have to see my consultant next week to find out if it was cancer, if it is they will remove the other half of the thyroid. He seems quite positive though that it will probably be benign, so fingers crossed.
There was another lady in the hospital having the exact same thing done as me!
The thing the consultant did say was once you have a nodule the only way to confirm if it is cancer is to remove it and test it, just wished it was all over - it has been months of tests and waiting for results.
Dec 27th 2009 | 1:40 pm
#234
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 8
Re: Thyroid Thread - Part Deux
hi im having trouble starting a new thread...???!!!so ive had to do my best and come on here this way
.Hi. I'm new here. My name is Laureen and Im 44. I have kinda gatecrashed your site as i cam across by surfing the Thyroidabout.com site. But to be fair i have been living in LOndon for the last 1o years and had to come back to NZ to stay with my parents. Anyway i hope its okay to come on here.
I have a very complicated history of battling Graves Disease (overactive thyroid) and am now HYpothyroid after RAI treatment in Jan this year. I am currently taking 135mcg Synthroid per day and I have a lot to discuss and many questions regarding where Im at now healthwise physically and psychologically. But I'll do that when Ive got a bit more time.
I dont feel well by any stretch of the imagination but am alot better than i was when i was severely HYPER and better than when I was severly HYPO.
I havent got time to go into my whole story tonight and to descrive the horrific mental breakdown I have endured and how that has impacted on all aspects of my life.
What I was wondering is that I am now in normal range and have been for five months. I have blood tests every week. Every week the TSH changes. I will list the last two months tests below....
However my Ft4 coverts very well to FT3 and the FT3 is on the higher end. So im thinking that Im not like everyone else who has conversion problems and therefore feels better with ARMOUR or t3 replacement etc
I do have borderline low Ferritin at 28, so will start with Iron supps as soon as poss.
Also with regards to my adrenals Ive had cortisol urine test which was all okay and Hi. I'm new here. I have a very complicated history of battling Graves Disease and am now HYpothyroid after RAI treatment in Jan this year. I am currently taking 135mcg Synthroid per day and I have a lot to discuss and many questions regarding where Im at now healthwise physically and psychologically. But I'll do that when Ive got a bit more time.
I dont feel well by any stretch of the imagination but am alot better than i was when i was severely HYPER and better than when I was severly HYPO.
I havent got time to go into my whole story tonight and to descrive the horrific mental breakdown I have endured and how that has impacted on all aspects of my life.
What I was wondering is that I am now in normal range and have been for five months. I have blood tests every week. Every week the TSH changes. I will list the last two months tests below....
However my Ft4 coverts very well to FT3 and the FT3 is on the higher end so I have no problems there I guess. So i dont see how taking Armour or T3 replacement will help me.
Also they did a cortisol urine test which came back normal and whne i was back in London when this all first went badly out of control I went to see Dr Durrant Peatfield who checked my adrenals and cortisol with saliva tests and the only things that was wrong was the DHEA was elevated.
Anyway Im at my wits end trying to feel like the person I used to be and cannot endure this much longer. But Im even feeling despondent on this website because i feeel that the regime youre describing doestn fit my situation. Here are my labs.....just for background information my worst Graves labs in 1999 were ft4 57, tsh 0.02 and ft3 27 9 ranges 9-19, 0.4-4.0 and 2.5- 6.0) and my worst Hypo labs in March this year were ft4 5.2 tsh 28 and ft3 2.1.
anyway current tests are ....
3/11 ft4 15 tsh 0.58 ft3 4.6
10/11 ft4 15 tsh 0.88 ft3 4.6
17/11 ft4 16 tsh 1.1 ft3 4.6
24/11 ft4 14 tsh 1.6 ft3 4.8
3/12 ft4 15 tsh 2.9 ft3 4.2
10/12 ft4 15 tsh 2.0 ft3 4.7
16/12 ft4 17 tsh 2.5 ft3 4.2
23/12 ft4 15 tsh 2.0 ft3 4.4
on and i have it taken as the same time of day and have my meds in morn with no food or supplements near by. My endo have discharged me now saying this is as good as it gets and my GP who is very caring has said why dont you just beleive the endo and stop going on the internet for more information. I think thye think its all emotional and psychological and alot of it is. I mean i am so stressed every single minute of the day with what ive been through and my life as i knew it almost being destroyed. I left my job, flat, freinds everything in London but cant go back coz I feel so weird and anxious and cant cope with real life like I used to.
Im seeing a psychologist and will be starting a DBT group in January.
But iam am so lonely and scared. I just hope im not permanantly altered. Sorry this is a bit heavy but had to be honest so any light you can shed on this would be great.
Lauren in New Zealand
back 2 years asgo when all this flared up when I was back in the UK i went to see Dr Durrant Peatfeild and had my saliva checked and that was all okay except my DHEA was elevated.
Anyway Im at my wits end trying to feel like the person I used to be and cannot endure this much longer. But Im even feeling despondent on this website because i feeel that the regime youre describing doestn fit my situation. Here are my labs.....just for background information my worst Graves labs in 1999 were ft4 57, tsh 0.02 and ft3 27 9 ranges 9-19, 0.4-4.0 and 2.5- 6.0) and my worst Hypo labs in March this year were ft4 5.2 tsh 28 and ft3 2.1.
anyway current tests are ....
3/11 ft4 15 tsh 0.58 ft3 4.6
10/11 ft4 15 tsh 0.88 ft3 4.6
17/11 ft4 16 tsh 1.1 ft3 4.6
24/11 ft4 14 tsh 1.6 ft3 4.8
3/12 ft4 15 tsh 2.9 ft3 4.2
10/12 ft4 15 tsh 2.0 ft3 4.7
16/12 ft4 17 tsh 2.5 ft3 4.2
23/12 ft4 15 tsh 2.0 ft3 4.4
on and i have it taken as the same time of day and have my meds in morn with no food or supplements near by.
any light you can shed on this would be great.
Lauren in New Zealand
.Hi. I'm new here. My name is Laureen and Im 44. I have kinda gatecrashed your site as i cam across by surfing the Thyroidabout.com site. But to be fair i have been living in LOndon for the last 1o years and had to come back to NZ to stay with my parents. Anyway i hope its okay to come on here.
I have a very complicated history of battling Graves Disease (overactive thyroid) and am now HYpothyroid after RAI treatment in Jan this year. I am currently taking 135mcg Synthroid per day and I have a lot to discuss and many questions regarding where Im at now healthwise physically and psychologically. But I'll do that when Ive got a bit more time.
I dont feel well by any stretch of the imagination but am alot better than i was when i was severely HYPER and better than when I was severly HYPO.
I havent got time to go into my whole story tonight and to descrive the horrific mental breakdown I have endured and how that has impacted on all aspects of my life.
What I was wondering is that I am now in normal range and have been for five months. I have blood tests every week. Every week the TSH changes. I will list the last two months tests below....
However my Ft4 coverts very well to FT3 and the FT3 is on the higher end. So im thinking that Im not like everyone else who has conversion problems and therefore feels better with ARMOUR or t3 replacement etc
I do have borderline low Ferritin at 28, so will start with Iron supps as soon as poss.
Also with regards to my adrenals Ive had cortisol urine test which was all okay and Hi. I'm new here. I have a very complicated history of battling Graves Disease and am now HYpothyroid after RAI treatment in Jan this year. I am currently taking 135mcg Synthroid per day and I have a lot to discuss and many questions regarding where Im at now healthwise physically and psychologically. But I'll do that when Ive got a bit more time.
I dont feel well by any stretch of the imagination but am alot better than i was when i was severely HYPER and better than when I was severly HYPO.
I havent got time to go into my whole story tonight and to descrive the horrific mental breakdown I have endured and how that has impacted on all aspects of my life.
What I was wondering is that I am now in normal range and have been for five months. I have blood tests every week. Every week the TSH changes. I will list the last two months tests below....
However my Ft4 coverts very well to FT3 and the FT3 is on the higher end so I have no problems there I guess. So i dont see how taking Armour or T3 replacement will help me.
Also they did a cortisol urine test which came back normal and whne i was back in London when this all first went badly out of control I went to see Dr Durrant Peatfield who checked my adrenals and cortisol with saliva tests and the only things that was wrong was the DHEA was elevated.
Anyway Im at my wits end trying to feel like the person I used to be and cannot endure this much longer. But Im even feeling despondent on this website because i feeel that the regime youre describing doestn fit my situation. Here are my labs.....just for background information my worst Graves labs in 1999 were ft4 57, tsh 0.02 and ft3 27 9 ranges 9-19, 0.4-4.0 and 2.5- 6.0) and my worst Hypo labs in March this year were ft4 5.2 tsh 28 and ft3 2.1.
anyway current tests are ....
3/11 ft4 15 tsh 0.58 ft3 4.6
10/11 ft4 15 tsh 0.88 ft3 4.6
17/11 ft4 16 tsh 1.1 ft3 4.6
24/11 ft4 14 tsh 1.6 ft3 4.8
3/12 ft4 15 tsh 2.9 ft3 4.2
10/12 ft4 15 tsh 2.0 ft3 4.7
16/12 ft4 17 tsh 2.5 ft3 4.2
23/12 ft4 15 tsh 2.0 ft3 4.4
on and i have it taken as the same time of day and have my meds in morn with no food or supplements near by. My endo have discharged me now saying this is as good as it gets and my GP who is very caring has said why dont you just beleive the endo and stop going on the internet for more information. I think thye think its all emotional and psychological and alot of it is. I mean i am so stressed every single minute of the day with what ive been through and my life as i knew it almost being destroyed. I left my job, flat, freinds everything in London but cant go back coz I feel so weird and anxious and cant cope with real life like I used to.
Im seeing a psychologist and will be starting a DBT group in January.
But iam am so lonely and scared. I just hope im not permanantly altered. Sorry this is a bit heavy but had to be honest so any light you can shed on this would be great.
Lauren in New Zealand
back 2 years asgo when all this flared up when I was back in the UK i went to see Dr Durrant Peatfeild and had my saliva checked and that was all okay except my DHEA was elevated.
Anyway Im at my wits end trying to feel like the person I used to be and cannot endure this much longer. But Im even feeling despondent on this website because i feeel that the regime youre describing doestn fit my situation. Here are my labs.....just for background information my worst Graves labs in 1999 were ft4 57, tsh 0.02 and ft3 27 9 ranges 9-19, 0.4-4.0 and 2.5- 6.0) and my worst Hypo labs in March this year were ft4 5.2 tsh 28 and ft3 2.1.
anyway current tests are ....
3/11 ft4 15 tsh 0.58 ft3 4.6
10/11 ft4 15 tsh 0.88 ft3 4.6
17/11 ft4 16 tsh 1.1 ft3 4.6
24/11 ft4 14 tsh 1.6 ft3 4.8
3/12 ft4 15 tsh 2.9 ft3 4.2
10/12 ft4 15 tsh 2.0 ft3 4.7
16/12 ft4 17 tsh 2.5 ft3 4.2
23/12 ft4 15 tsh 2.0 ft3 4.4
on and i have it taken as the same time of day and have my meds in morn with no food or supplements near by.
any light you can shed on this would be great.
Lauren in New Zealand
Dec 27th 2009 | 1:44 pm
#235
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 8
just testing as im new here
hi there,
i am having problems posting so this is just a trial run.
i am having problems posting so this is just a trial run.
Dec 27th 2009 | 1:47 pm
#236
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 8
Re: Thyroid Thread - Part Deux
oh boy oh boy,
just seen that the original post has gone through okay albeit with another half of the post attached to it.
Gosh, so sorry. First i gatecrash and then i ruin the aesthetics of your lovely forum. oh meant to say that im feeling so desperate that im considering coming over to oZ to see Ludka Berkowski but have no idea how i will raise the money nor cope with the mental and physical effort to do that. I have a bit of agorohobia too/
Lauren
just seen that the original post has gone through okay albeit with another half of the post attached to it.
Gosh, so sorry. First i gatecrash and then i ruin the aesthetics of your lovely forum. oh meant to say that im feeling so desperate that im considering coming over to oZ to see Ludka Berkowski but have no idea how i will raise the money nor cope with the mental and physical effort to do that. I have a bit of agorohobia too/
Lauren
Dec 27th 2009 | 7:45 pm
#237
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Thyroid Thread - Part Deux
oh boy oh boy,
just seen that the original post has gone through okay albeit with another half of the post attached to it.
Gosh, so sorry. First i gatecrash and then i ruin the aesthetics of your lovely forum. oh meant to say that im feeling so desperate that im considering coming over to oZ to see Ludka Berkowski but have no idea how i will raise the money nor cope with the mental and physical effort to do that. I have a bit of agorohobia too/
Lauren
just seen that the original post has gone through okay albeit with another half of the post attached to it.
Gosh, so sorry. First i gatecrash and then i ruin the aesthetics of your lovely forum. oh meant to say that im feeling so desperate that im considering coming over to oZ to see Ludka Berkowski but have no idea how i will raise the money nor cope with the mental and physical effort to do that. I have a bit of agorohobia too/
Lauren
Chill... it's fine. Looks like you have a bit of an issue with the server.
No probs. I got the gist of your post.I will have to come back to reply in more detail later as I'm just off out to party but just wanted to say that I read your post and you're not being ignored.
Later.
Dec 27th 2009 | 8:37 pm
#238
On the Dark Side :-)
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 3,065
From: South Wales to New South Wales!
Re: Thyroid Thread - Part Deux
Hi Lauren
I'm also busy at the moment but I'll take the time to have a good read through your results later and get back to you... I've had mental breakdown you're talking about so can completely relate to you - my labs have always been all over the place too so I can relate to that... and I too do not have a thyroid... thyroid op rather than RAI but the outcome is the same
I'll get back to you shortly!!
Rach xxxx
I'm also busy at the moment but I'll take the time to have a good read through your results later and get back to you... I've had mental breakdown you're talking about so can completely relate to you - my labs have always been all over the place too so I can relate to that... and I too do not have a thyroid... thyroid op rather than RAI but the outcome is the same
I'll get back to you shortly!!
Rach xxxx
Dec 27th 2009 | 8:54 pm
#239
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 8
Re: Thyroid Thread - Part Deux
Hi Lauren
I'm also busy at the moment but I'll take the time to have a good read through your results later and get back to you... I've had mental breakdown you're talking about so can completely relate to you - my labs have always been all over the place too so I can relate to that... and I too do not have a thyroid... thyroid op rather than RAI but the outcome is the same
I'll get back to you shortly!!
Rach xxxx
I'm also busy at the moment but I'll take the time to have a good read through your results later and get back to you... I've had mental breakdown you're talking about so can completely relate to you - my labs have always been all over the place too so I can relate to that... and I too do not have a thyroid... thyroid op rather than RAI but the outcome is the same
I'll get back to you shortly!!
Rach xxxx
my parents are distraught this has been going on for so long...
ive just called the suicide helpline.
im sure its not my thyroid anymore ...its me ...its my life. Ive got noone or nothing. Ive made a mess of my life and xmas has just accentuated that. everyone has someoen and im just a lonely, lost ill mental 44 year old
sorry
Dec 27th 2009 | 11:06 pm
#240
On the Dark Side :-)
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 3,065
From: South Wales to New South Wales!
Re: Thyroid Thread - Part Deux
Trust me Lauren... this is EXACTLY what your thyroid (or lack of) can do to you.
It messes with your head beyond what anyone could imagine. Some sail through thyroid disease with little or no symtpoms... others (like us obviously) are hindered with problems... but they can be overcome.
STOP blaming yourself for feeling this way. It is NOT you and it WILL get better - I'm living proof of it honestly.
I actually drove myself to hospital once because I was so bad - how the hell I got there and back I have no idea... but I did.
Stick with this - try to remain calm and believe that this awful stage WILL pass if you allow it to. Just accept that christmas is always a difficult time for those experiencing health problems and that soon it will pass.
This recovery is going to take time... and its not going to be easy... but trust me... it will happen!
Thinking of you..
It messes with your head beyond what anyone could imagine. Some sail through thyroid disease with little or no symtpoms... others (like us obviously) are hindered with problems... but they can be overcome.
STOP blaming yourself for feeling this way. It is NOT you and it WILL get better - I'm living proof of it honestly.
I actually drove myself to hospital once because I was so bad - how the hell I got there and back I have no idea... but I did.
Stick with this - try to remain calm and believe that this awful stage WILL pass if you allow it to. Just accept that christmas is always a difficult time for those experiencing health problems and that soon it will pass.
This recovery is going to take time... and its not going to be easy... but trust me... it will happen!
Thinking of you..
