British Expats - Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

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- - Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/sensitivity-mbtuk-forum-594334/)

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

Quote:

Originally Posted by BadgeIsBack (Post 7330367)

:p
....

The most amazing thing about her is not just her body - they don't make women like this anymore - but also her poise, the way she carried herself (I should have said this). She has this persona that just radiates out. When I first saw her, it was like - yup - now that is a woman! And then, the first time I saw her naked - she invited me into her bathroom one evening and she was lying in the bath - I thought - 'I'm going to marry this girl' and we were engaged literally months later....

She's at yoga now.

Wait, I think this one takes it by a whisker. :)

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

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Originally Posted by Exile (Post 7330815)

Could this be the most uxorious post in the history of internet forums?

No - wait there's more.

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

Having read Badge's other thread, I think he's just making sure tonight's a dead cert. ;)

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

Quote:

Originally Posted by BadgeIsBack (Post 7330273)

Never ceases to amaze me. Ultimately being happy with a decision has to be a good thing. It has to be better than being unhappy with one..go figure.

True - but there is a massive, seemingly subtle but obvious difference though - the people who are making a go of Australia are happy and are where they want to be - whereas the other camp are full of people who generally are not - and want to be elsewhere. The people who are happy have less to lose.

The ultimate indignity is like I said, people are then told that not only are they not allowed to be happy, but then surely they are not negative enough. People who are happy in Australia don't go around with fixed grins on their dials all the time - although some new arrivals do I'm sure...

There's actually very few posts slagging off the UK - they tend to come from people who are getting all 'political' about their move and there hasn't been one for ages. People tend to point out drawbacks about the UK - like crowding and weather in discussion but there is not necessarily any hatred and most of it can be put down to blues or a few eccentric things that the UK is widely know to be pretty crap at.

In the other camp you get people who have experienced both, slag off, quite literally, everything about Australia and never have, frankly, one good word to say about it. There's also a lot of hatred which in other situations would be practically inciting illegal racism. Threads start like "What do you hate about Australians" that sort of thing. It's not a discussion about weather or supermarkets, it's about people and entire nations.

This is mitigated by some of these posters who then claim to not like or like Australia - but that's not immediately obvious in their online personas.

On BE particularly, unless people come over as neutral it is easy to set up shop and appear to fall in one camp. There are people who seem to come down in favour of one camp or another and start heated debates, then we learn that they are moderates after all. There's a few I can think of. One of the issues is that you can't really judge the intention or character, or sensitivity of someone on a forum and it takes a while to get to know them. Also people come on and unload in their first few posts resurrecting arguments not knowing that it has all been done before and before they have found the level. But that's the internet for you.

I never slag anyone off for enjoying Australia. I have always said i am happy for them and good luck to them. I was once in the loving it camp myself a few years back, BUT, having lived here along time, i have grown to really dislike it. This does not make me a miserable, humourless or psycholgically lacking person as is portrayed by quite a number of barbie bullies in the past, but someone who no longer wants to be here but is trapped until my OH visa is approved.
You know me well enough to know I care not whether anyone agrees or disagrees with anything i say, but I have the right to voice it as and when i see fit.
Hell, quite a few people in MBTTUK forum have a sense of humour (shock horror :ohmy: ) well alive and kicking, and yes, we even laugh in there too!!

Just because the people there are not happy to be living where they are living ( and lets remember it is not exclusive to Australia but worldwide unlike this forum) does not mean they do not have valid, reasonable intelligent reasons not to be that way.

Not sure what you meant by the comment people who are happy here have less to lose?

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

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Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum (Post 7331002)

!!

Just because the people there are not happy to be living where they are living ( and lets remember it is not exclusive to Australia but worldwide unlike this forum) does not mean they do not have valid, reasonable intelligent reasons not to be that way.

Noone said they weren't. I think sometimes that anger is then levelled at people who are happier, which they don't deserve.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum (Post 7331002)

!!
Not sure what you meant by the comment people who are happy here have less to lose?

It's OK to be happy. It's a preferential state to being unhappy and having a go at people who are happy.

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

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Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum (Post 7331002)

Maybe you can rest assured then that I wasn't talking about you..(!)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum (Post 7331002)

You know me well enough to know I care not whether anyone agrees or disagrees with anything i say, but I have the right to voice it as and when i see fit.

Of course! Noone said you couldn't. You might have noticed recently that alot of the 'happy' posters have been quite moderate and welcome 'unhappy posters' knocking Australia. In fact they even invite it and join in. They even queue up to say this even on deaf ears. "It's OK to be negative!" (They might even have the solution)

What they can't abide is that when that self-destructive voice is racist, or attacks people for being happy - not you - then it will raise hackles.

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

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Originally Posted by Seasider (Post 7330968)

Having read Badge's other thread, I think he's just making sure tonight's a dead cert. ;)

Nah. Business as usual mate!

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

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Originally Posted by viviennef (Post 7328719)

Where do I read about the 5? is there a link?

http://www.britzinoz.com/culture-shock.htm

No 5 is interesting :D

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum (Post 7331002)

I was once in the loving it camp myself a few years back, BUT, having lived here along time, i have grown to really dislike it.

I was in that point in life once, before I left Australia for good...

That was culture shock phase two.

I then went to stage 5, came back to Australia and did stage 3, followed by stage 4.

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

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Originally Posted by ABCDiamond (Post 7331142)

I was in that point in life once, before I left Australia for good...

That was culture shock phase two.

I then went to stage 5, came back to Australia and did stage 3, followed by stage 4.

Good for you. Happy for you.

But i am in a somewhat different situation to most. I have been back there twice and lived 6mths each time in the last 18mths, so managed to exeprienced it as a "new returner" twice. I also have the greatest pull for anyone to return. 6 gorgeous grandchildren who i have formed a loving bond with. I know i will NEVER want to return here. Theres nothing for me to want to return to.

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

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Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum (Post 7331149)

I believe you.

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

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Originally Posted by BadgeIsBack (Post 7331163)

I believe you.

PMSL :rofl: why thanks

But this is what pisses me off when you get comments like Ozzieeagles earlier in the thread, saying those who want to return to UK have failed dreams. Utter crap as far as i am concerned. Some of us who left UK, didnt leave to live a dream in the first place!
The "we are happy and you are a failure" mantra stinks of oneupmanship and actually very unkind towards someone who is obviously suffering.

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum (Post 7331178)

This is the thing - when people reference situations they are talking about some people not all. I think you have to build that in automatically.

hmmm..frankly I think that a large majority of people DO move to Australia and have plans and dreams which they really hope will work.

In fact I think that many people move because they think they will get a better life, and/or, frankly, (controversial), to get away from a humdrum one even if they don't admit it.

My excuse was due to the fact that I could live in Australia the way I wanted to live. I didn't like the mechanics of my last year or two in the UK due to some very specific lifestyle issues. Now I am married and have a young family I realise people move for massive pulls or pushes - it is destabilising; you have to really want it to be honest.

And many people therefore who move back DO have failed dreams, otherwise they would stay.

The other segment of course,is the people who are married to partners (you?) or are going as temporary expats on business, as you may be alluding to. Sure they gravitate back - it's no big deal.

The only thing I would add if I may is that it is fustrating when people complain about A,B and C and:
you have already got around it, (have a solution) or
realise why you don't have to deal with it in the first place or
it's not what you, your workcolleagues, or friends have to deal with or
you deal with it just as you did in the UK or indeed
the issue was in fact worse in the UK

It's curiously depressing. Maybe some sort of atavistic guilt?

When people complain about jobs, housing, suburbs, friends, art, culture and opportunity I feel guilty because I don't see why I get to live in the parallel world when they would love to, and if they did, might not complain. Naturally I should not be complaining about this, I'd rather be in my world than the other.

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum (Post 7331178)

Why do you think people migrate then ?

I've never knocked anyone that has wanted to return to the UK. I'd never have made that failed dreams comment in there.

I've also been mostly on the fence as to which country is better suited to me. It was my last trip to the UK's historical tourist spots and encountering louts at each one that has tilted me in favour of Aus slightly. I'm not writing the UK off yet as a place where I will spend a fair chunk of my retirement time. I need another trip, with the wife next time, to check out whether I was unlucky on my last trip.

Re: Sensitivity in the MBTUK forum

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum (Post 7331178)

Very good point Flea.:thumbup:

I had a dream to live in Australia which I have fullfilled.

I now have a new dream to return to my homeland to do and experiance things that I cannot do from Australia.

Does that mean my first dream failed? I don't think so. It would certainly be a boring life if we only ever had one dream.