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-   -   Romance... what is it? Discuss. (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/romance-what-discuss-676792/)

emelems Jul 15th 2010 6:39 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 
I haven't got a clue what romance is. Doing stuff for someone I love comes pretty naturally to me, so if that's the case then I guess I am romantic :lol:

I am an attention seeking mare so I like to be treated by the person I am in a relationship with as if I am the only person on the planet.. Actually, thinking about it, to me romance is someone being thoughtful enough to recognise what I need/want etc at that precise moment that I want/need it. :p Which can be difficult, I tend to change my mind lots. :huh: Tricky job at the best of times. Poor Old K.. :D

So... in a nutshell.. god knows... :confused:

Em x

paulry Jul 15th 2010 6:57 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 

Originally Posted by LouiseR (Post 8705146)
Hey! My post was romantic! Well my first one anyway ;).

I know :wub:. But things deteriorated after that :D

The secret is catching the "I want to be romanced" mood. That's the hard part. Whenever I get romantic with SWMBO, she becomes suspicious :ohmy:. It's like: "Come on, what is it you've done/what do you want?" :sneaky::)

emelems Jul 15th 2010 7:00 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 

Originally Posted by paulry (Post 8705188)
I know :wub:. But things deteriorated after that :D

The secret is catching the "I want to be romanced" mood. That's the hard part. Whenever I get romantic with SWMBO, she becomes suspicious :ohmy:. It's like: "Come on, what is it you've done/what do you want?" :sneaky::)

Well if thats the case then you aren't being romantic (whatever that is!) enough... else it seems like behaviour out of place?

Kporte bought me a chocolate aero the other day, just out of the blue. I questioned him intently for 3 hours on his motives...

:lol:

Em x

Officer Dibble Jul 15th 2010 7:02 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 

Originally Posted by emelems (Post 8705194)
Well if thats the case then you aren't being romantic (whatever that is!) enough... else it seems like behaviour out of place?

Kporte bought me a chocolate aero the other day, just out of the blue. I questioned him intently for 3 hours on his motives...

:lol:

Em x

Check your wardrobe. Hes probably torn one of your frocks after a dress up session while you were out doing the school run.

paulry Jul 15th 2010 8:46 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 

Originally Posted by emelems (Post 8705194)
Well if thats the case then you aren't being romantic (whatever that is!) enough... else it seems like behaviour out of place?

Kporte bought me a chocolate aero the other day, just out of the blue. I questioned him intently for 3 hours on his motives...

:lol:

Em x

Possibly. The receiver has to be ready (or even eager) to intepret romantic gestures as such. Too many failed attempts and the giver doesn't bother any more. But I think my example is more because we've been so preoccupied with jumping the emigration hoops (and for us it was harder than for many), raising our family, etc, that we've forgotten to romance eachother. The good news is the emigration is nearly done and pretty soon the kids wont be around so much. Methinks soon there'll be lots of "us" time again :):fingerscrossed:

Pollyana Jul 15th 2010 8:51 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 

Originally Posted by paulry (Post 8705138)
It's so nice to see this thread chock full of romantic types :lol:


Originally Posted by paulry (Post 8705188)
I know :wub:. But things deteriorated after that :D

Could be cos some of us have never experienced romance :sneaky: We sit here reading threads like this thinking "do people really do this romantic stuff?":eek:

Sally Simpson Jul 15th 2010 8:53 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 

Originally Posted by paulry (Post 8705335)
Possibly. The receiver has to be ready (or even eager) to intepret romantic gestures as such. Too many failed attempts and the giver doesn't bother any more. But I think my example is more because we've been so preoccupied with jumping the emigration hoops (and for us it was harder than for many), raising our family, etc, that we've forgotten to romance eachother. The good news is the emigration is nearly done and pretty soon the kids wont be around so much. Methinks soon there'll be lots of "us" time again :):fingerscrossed:

It is all too easy to put everything else in life before your relationship. Relationnships need to be nurtured & the occasional romantic gesture go a long way towards that.

I think romance can be thoughtful, out of the ordinary things that you do for your partner such as leaving a single yellow rose by the bed with a little note or it can be every day stuff, like telling you to stay where you are whilst they clean up after dinner! Anything that makes you feel cared for, loved & special.

emelems Jul 15th 2010 9:08 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 

Originally Posted by paulry (Post 8705335)
Possibly. The receiver has to be ready (or even eager) to intepret romantic gestures as such. Too many failed attempts and the giver doesn't bother any more. But I think my example is more because we've been so preoccupied with jumping the emigration hoops (and for us it was harder than for many), raising our family, etc, that we've forgotten to romance eachother. The good news is the emigration is nearly done and pretty soon the kids wont be around so much. Methinks soon there'll be lots of "us" time again :):fingerscrossed:

Ok Paulry, I need to behave myself... Kporte bought me choc... I was (had been) rather fed up in general... and he turns up, cooks a decent curry from scratch.. and then brings out an aero bar which scratches a chocolate itch. He needs to be stuffed and preservered as a bloke. I think he is wonderful. And he didn't seem care that I was being a nutcase lunatic for stupid hours before hand.

There we go... I need to reassess and behave :)

paulry Jul 15th 2010 9:35 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 

Originally Posted by emelems (Post 8705369)
Ok Paulry, I need to behave myself... Kporte bought me choc... I was (had been) rather fed up in general... and he turns up, cooks a decent curry from scratch.. and then brings out an aero bar which scratches a chocolate itch. He needs to be stuffed and preservered as a bloke. I think he is wonderful. And he didn't seem care that I was being a nutcase lunatic for stupid hours before hand.

There we go... I need to reassess and behave :)

Sounds like you are both good for eachother :thumbup:

Could it be that romantic gestures are the preserve of relatively new relationships and five years or so down the line things go off the boil?

paulry Jul 15th 2010 9:54 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 

Originally Posted by Sally Simpson (Post 8705349)
It is all too easy to put everything else in life before your relationship. Relationnships need to be nurtured & the occasional romantic gesture go a long way towards that.

I think romance can be thoughtful, out of the ordinary things that you do for your partner such as leaving a single yellow rose by the bed with a little note or it can be every day stuff, like telling you to stay where you are whilst they clean up after dinner! Anything that makes you feel cared for, loved & special.

I agree, sometimes is as simple as just not taking eachother for granted :thumbup:.

Just a thought: Must the onus be on the men to initiate this romancing thing? :)

Deancm_MKII Jul 15th 2010 9:58 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 

Originally Posted by paulry (Post 8705429)
Must the onus be on the men to initiate this romancing thing? :)

The onus is on the men for everything else so why not this? And they talk about sexual equality! :sneaky:

Scubaemma Jul 15th 2010 10:04 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 
Hubby can be very romantic. Not all that often but it's lovely when he does. Big romantic gestures plus cute little ones, and I love the little things as much as the big ones.

Eg of a big one - arranging with my work colleagues for me to have a day off work (without me knowing) and then whisking me off to Prague for a long weekend in a fancy hotel where we rugged up (it was winter) and walked along the river and looked at the twinking lights on the bridge and the castle all lit up across the river and went to a gorgeous restaurant etc.... it was so beautiful and very romantic and unexpected :wub:

And the small things - eg finding a little note in with my lunch when I'm at work. Or coming home from work and he's left a big drink ready for me so I don't have to make it myself (I cycle home from work so always hot and thirsty when I get home). Or a text message saying he misses me when he's going to bed and I'm on nights. Once he sent a bunch of my fave flowers to my work with a note saying 'just because I love you' (ie it wasn't valentines day or whatever, cos romance shouldn't be about a random day of the year).

Oh, and I have been known to do the odd romantic thing myself :o eg one Easter weekend I said I wanted us to go and stay with my parents and he said okay, but instead I took us off to Barcelona for the long weekend including tickets to see Barca play (I knew that's what he'd love to do). He was so excited bless him (and I don't think it was just that he didn't have to stay with my parents for the weekend :lol:)

But romantic and lovely though the big things are, I love the little notes, the making dinner when I'm knackered, the cups of tea handed to me when it's exactly what I need. And ironing my work shirts on a Sunday evening when I'm Skyping my Mum :wub:

I love my hubby :)

scottishcelts Jul 15th 2010 10:11 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 

Originally Posted by Bernie Barfly (Post 8703648)
Load of oul bollox:thumbdown:

:rofl::lol:

My thoughts exactly!

scottishcelts Jul 15th 2010 10:13 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 

Originally Posted by emelems (Post 8705369)
Ok Paulry, I need to behave myself... Kporte bought me choc... I was (had been) rather fed up in general... and he turns up, cooks a decent curry from scratch.. and then brings out an aero bar which scratches a chocolate itch. He needs to be stuffed and preservered as a bloke. I think he is wonderful. And he didn't seem care that I was being a nutcase lunatic for stupid hours before hand.

There we go... I need to reassess and behave :)

:rofl: lmao

paulry Jul 15th 2010 11:38 pm

Re: Romance... what is it? Discuss.
 

Originally Posted by asprilla (Post 8704652)
hmm icarus has some interesting ideas on the concept of romance.

I think it is simply about doing stuff for your partner that makes them feel special, and wanted.

I don't think Icarus's victim ..er partner will be doing too much complaining ;)


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