Ozzidoc

Tell me about it - I had tears rolling down my face!!!!!!

Ozzidoc

Nighty-night and sweet BE dreams.

geordie mandy

pp that was a great story looking forward to the next installment
Mandy

Fiona&malc

Brill story Sam (as always)
i love reading your blogs and stories

(BTW im at work and therefore should be working, but hey, its friday and cant be ars*ed would much rather read stories)

Clippy

Ah yes so there is! Sorry!

Cheetah7

The night before the holiday

It was a very busy evening and also the night before Sue and Paul Admin plus a few mods, were due to take some of the BE team to Cyprus for a holiday.

'Darling, you cannot take 4 chunky cardigans, it is going to be hot' Sue said to Paul as he hovered as to whether he should take his new red chunky cardigan with a chunky roped belt to match.

Sighing heavily, Paul replied 'I was going to take 10, I think 4 is quite restrained'

Sue rolled her eyes to the heavens and left him to it.


(In the Agents 007 Dorm)

John Howard was packing his red and white rucksack which only fitted in his pyjamas, slippers, a small comb for his wisps of hair, toothbrush, toothpaste (which he didnt need as he had dentures), towel and shower gel and 3 pairs of socks and pants.

Alan who is a keen swimmer, extremely fit and has even swam to England on a few occasions in just under an hour, was packing an assortment of swimming trunks in different colours.

'What is this?' Glenn asked as he picked up a rubber dolphin costume from Alan's case.

Snatching it back from Glenn and tidily putting it back in his case, Alan replied rather stiffly 'That is my dolphin costume in case I have to swim back'.

Glenn sniffed, raised his eyebrows and carried on watching Alan pack. He packed lots of sensible stuff including his favourite Union Jack flag.

'Are you not going to pack?' Alan asked Glenn as Glenn flopped onto Alan's bed and nearly knocked his suitcase off.

'Nope, I have done it. I have packed a pair of clean underpants, one pair of socks, some thongs for my feet, and my washing bag' Glenn said smugly.

The Lombard stared at Glenn, totally mortified, he asked 'One pair of pants and one pair of socks? You are kidding me right?'

'I for one, don't plan to have my underpants on for long enough and if I do, I plan to turn them inside out and at different angles. We are only there a week and as for the socks, well I just wont wear them. I always travel light. I am a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda guy' Glenn said to The Lombard.

The Lombard could not have been more different. Being an avid James Bond fan, his wardrobe could rival that of a models.

He changed his underpants hourly, his shirt was immaculate, crisply ironed and changed 3 hourly, his trousers had a crease down the front so sharp you could cut butter with it and as for his shoes, you could see yourself in the reflection.

Being quite suave and sophisticated, he was also fond of doing the James Bond introduction - 'The name is Lombard' kind of thing, and it always got the girls going.

He thought he had been quite good because he got his luggage down to 2 suitcases when the other boys had one, except Glenn who fit his into something not much bigger than a ladies clutch bag.

Duncan DIMA had been organised and had packed the night before, Barry the Camp TRA Man was on his fifth suitcase and justified it by saying he would be doing Cabaret in Nicosia. A selection of ladies clothes and underwear filled his case and there was tons of make up and hair products in another.

'Bloody poofter' Glenn shouted to Barry, who shimmied up to Glenn and kissed his cheek, leaving a purple lipstick mark on him. Rubbing it off furiously, Glenn ran to Alan for protection.

(In the Girl's Dormitory)

Princess was so over excited about going away, she had to repack her clothes because Sue Admin told her she couldn't take her entire wardrobe including her snow boots.

The girls were shouting, screaming, crying, yelling and fighting. All over something and nothing.

Gobbyjock, Biddy, Sorchar, Margaret, Herrchook, A Team, DebraH, Northern Bird, Geordie George, Bundy, Juliecabs, Milliesmum and Fiona&Malc were sitting on the floor, writing down their plans for the week.

Partystar and Princess were fighting over a top and Pollyanna was trying to keep them all in order.

SME had locked herself in the bathroom because she had cut her legs in 15 places whilst trying to shave and Ozzidoc was trying to placate her and persuade her into letting her stitch up her wounds. Even though they didn't really need it.

'I want this lot packed and sorted in one hour!' Sue Admin shouted to the noisy girls.

'She has ripped the gusset out of my pants' Princess sobbed and nodded in the direction of Ozzidoc.

Blushing, Ozzidoc shouted 'Well, I needed a bandage and her pants are big enough!'

'I will kill you for that, my pants are so not big!' Princess cried and tried to make a lunge.

Picking her up, Paul Admin carried Princess off with her legs kicking out in all directions, making her look severely disabled. Ozzidoc poked her tongue out to wind her up even more.

(One hour and a miracle later)

Peace in the BE House.

The boys and girls sat in the huge BE sitting room. Their suitcases neatly piled up in military fashion in the hallway, with their names and pictures stuck on each one.

Paul Admin sat in his favourite big orange squashy chair, that was so big it made him look like a little person.

Sue Admin was making horlicks for the gang in the hope it would make them sleep. Well actually it would as Paul Admin had slipped some sleeping tablets in their drinks so they would be settled for their flight in the morning.

The huge open fire roared its bright orange flames and Gordon the cat was curled in front of it having a fag and a glass of Brandy.

Princess lay on one of the chairs with her head in Alan's lap and John Howard was snuggled on her chest.

The Lombard, Glenn and Duncan were playing cards and apart from the occasional snort and bit of laughter, they were quiet.

The Tartan Army were playing 'Poke the Pig' which involved fat Carmen from the Spanish forum and a joint of gammon.

Northern bird, Geordie George and A Team were doing their nails.

In fact, this was the best they had been all week. Calm before the storm? Who knows.

'Right you lot, drink and then bed!' Paul said to them as Sue handed them their horlicks.

'I like you playing with my hair' Princess said to Alan in a sleepy voice as he worked suspiciously hard in her long toilet brush type hair.

Glancing over, Barry spotted just what Alan was doing and burst out laughing.

'You won't want him anywhere near your hair when you see what he has done!' Barry said in his high pitched bitchy drawl.

Sitting up, Princess shouted 'Get me a mirror!'

Pushing her back down again onto his knee, Alan said 'I haven't done anything' and then blushed to reveal his guilt.

Jumping off his knee, Princess went over to Milliesmum and Juliecabs and said what has he done?'

'Think you had better get to the toilet' Milliesmum replied trying not to giggle.

Princess then stomped into the bathroom and after a 2 second delay, screamed so loudly that anyone in the house wearing glasses, nearly had them shattered.

'What the ******g hell have you done?, how can I go to Cyprus like this?' Princess yelled.

Until the next installment....

herrchook

Loving this part - having seen George's photo on his site that looks quite a good description - although he's got little ones so I'd imagine, he's only really changing his shirt so often as it's probably got sick or food all over it

Cheetah7

I cannot get the James Bond smart and handsome image out of my head.

I also imagine him never getting messy and looking well groomed to the point that Duncan and the others have an urge to have a mud fight with him.

herrchook

love it, we could leave messy jam finger prints on his desk so he gets filthy too and hide all his clean shirts

Cheetah7

:scared:

Not to my George you cant!

Actually, I shall give you a snippet of things to come.

One of the Agents 007 will not be coming back from Cyprus with us, Touchingcloth will be coming with us and when we get back, there will be a new Agent 007.

DebraH

can't wait for the next installment

Ozzidoc

It's soooo fabulous. How on earth do you come up with all these ideas?

xx

Sorchar

Because she's as nutty as a fruitcake , has an imagination the size of Brazil and has such a talent for writing. Don't let anyone ever change that Sam. Safe journey and stay away from poles

northernbird

I can't wait for her to get to Perth, I sooooo want a girls night out with her!

Cheetah7

I dont know but not everyone 'gets it' if you know what I mean. I think you have to have a room in cyberworld on BE to understand.

I know one thing, when I was 14 and worked in a supermarket, I use to write stories on reams and reams of paper bags. One day the manager caught me and confiscated them.

He emerged from the office later smiling, didnt tell me off but told me if I could use less bags next time.

I use to have an invisible friend when I was little, I wonder if I should have taken that as a sign.