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Re: Having a bad day
Originally Posted by asher
(Post 4866234)
my 18 year old cant make up his mind whether to come or not, he wants to stay in the Uk but also wants the safety net of mum and dad:blink:
although we are on a 457 it says that he can work if he comes over so no prolems there I wish he was younger so I could make him come :huh: We came over on a 457 too. When we visited the local DIMIA to have the labels put in our passports the gent said to me. "You're the unlucky one. You have the restrictions but the rest of the family can do what they want". I had always been under the impression that the 18 year old could not work else he would lose dependancy on me and hence lose the visa. In the end I reworded the question 3 different ways and each time he assured us he could work with no repurcussions. It kept bugging me so a couple of days later I phoned the main DIMIA office in Brisbane. "Yes he can work" says the guy "but he'll lose his dependancy". I explained what had transpired and he apologised for the false information we had been given at the local office but it was quite clear that he could not work. That was a couple of years ago now so double check what you have been told. Maybe the requirements / limitations have changed in that time but somehow I doubt it on this point. |
Re: Having a bad day
Originally Posted by Bix
(Post 4866277)
We were fortunate in that the thought of setting up home and finding a job in the UK was more scary than leaving the family safety net. :D
We came over on a 457 too. When we visited the local DIMIA to have the labels put in our passports the gent said to me. "You're the unlucky one. You have the restrictions but the rest of the family can do what they want". I had always been under the impression that the 18 year old could not work else he would lose dependancy on me and hence lose the visa. In the end I reworded the question 3 different ways and each time he assured us he could work with no repurcussions. It kept bugging me so a couple of days later I phoned the main DIMIA office in Brisbane. "Yes he can work" says the guy "but he'll lose his dependancy". I explained what had transpired and he apologised for the false information we had been given at the local office but it was quite clear that he could not work. That was a couple of years ago now so double check what you have been told. Maybe the requirements / limitations have changed in that time but somehow I doubt it on this point. the visa actually says he can work |
Re: Having a bad day
No words of advice Margaret but just wanted to add that I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. When you live on the other side of the world troubles are so magnified.
I hope it all works out for you - I'm really not sure what I would do in your situation. |
Re: Having a bad day
Hi Mags I really feel for you, keep strong I am sure that things will work out. From what you have said before I am sure that there are plenty of things in Melbourne to keep your daughter more than occupied IF she will give it a fair go. Her interest and ability in sport will get her a long way here and the education system is not a scary as some people make out.
We are still having difficulties with our eldest but I doubt that he would go back to the UK given the choice as he knows that he would be taking his problems with him. It is hard for them at this stage as their peer group is everything and the thought of making a new set of friends is terrifying. Just support her as you always do and let her find her feet. If she hates it when she is older she will always be able to go back to the UK there is nothing to stop her, but she can't dictate what you all do. As a mother I have hated seeing Sam struggle here but the truth is that the others love it and this was the right move for us. His problems with Australia are more than that, he is just having a tough time at the moment and that happens to lots of people (he will find his way in time). Good luck and keep with it. Nicky x |
Re: Having a bad day
Originally Posted by asher
(Post 4866295)
the visa actually says he can work
Although dependents do have full work rights I believe a dependant of 18 or over who takes advantage of it may lose their dependancy. This means when you come to either renew the 457 or apply for a PR visa they cannot be included. Please humour me and check this as I am not exactly an expert but would feel better if perhaps you put a thread on the IMMI forum to clarify it. :) |
Re: Having a bad day
Originally Posted by Courtney15
(Post 4866042)
Hi there
I have actually been one of those teenagers being pulled from pillar to post!! I was taken to the UK from Oz when I was nine which was pretty bad but I guess I didn't really have opinions at that age. Then at 14 we moved back to Australia which was fantastic as I was coming home.....then, at 16 I was taken back to England again and boy oh boy did I kick and scream and threatened to run away, lock myself at the airport toilet, you name it!! I cried all the way from Melbourne to Singapore non stop. I know excatly what your daughter is going through and how desperate it feels.... Courtney Hi courtney, thanks for your post, i would never pull my kids from pillar to post, i think this is one of the problems, she has lived in kilmarnock all her life, infact she had lived in the house all her life, and is she comes here and is happy , then we would stay and i would never, ever, ever put her through this again, i too know how desperate she feels and this is why i am feeling the way i am:( |
Re: Having a bad day
Originally Posted by chris and farideh
(Post 4866035)
Hi Margaret,
I think you find that most of us who have older teenage children would go through this with them, but given time most of them settle, & never want to go back, my eldest doesnt like he's school much but he said he never wants to go back, just be there for her, and eventually she'll settle down. good luck, I know what you are going through, we are still having some bad days with him. Farideh |
Re: Having a bad day
I would like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your replies, it has been a horrible day and you have all helped me through it, thanx to my old pals and my new:D
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Re: Having a bad day
Hi Mags
I dont know your daughter but FWIW I agree with Wendy. Tell her she has to go over to you until shes 18 then if she wants to go back she can but has to stand on her own two feet. Dont let her dictate to you, (dont know if you have other kids) but its your life too. If the rest of you are happy in Oz you may resent having to come back. Im sure she would settle in once she'd made some friends. Good luck Hugs Joex |
Re: Having a bad day
I would like to post i have also got another daughter age 8,who has settled quickly, she misses her old life, but loves school here and i would say is getting on better at school here than in scotland, from what i have seen so far, i am extremely impressed with the school, i know there has been some bad press about schools on here, but i cannot fault it so far.
just wanted to add this in the hope it may reassure someone , somewhere on here:) |
Re: Having a bad day
Glad your other daughters settled in well. :)
Joex |
Re: Having a bad day
Originally Posted by mark 'n' joe
(Post 4866595)
Hi Mags
I dont know your daughter but FWIW I agree with Wendy. Tell her she has to go over to you until shes 18 then if she wants to go back she can but has to stand on her own two feet. Dont let her dictate to you, (dont know if you have other kids) but its your life too. If the rest of you are happy in Oz you may resent having to come back. Im sure she would settle in once she'd made some friends. Good luck Hugs Joex Good on ya Mags:) |
Re: Having a bad day
Originally Posted by Geelong Gent
(Post 4866648)
Just to quickly add, having met both Mag girls they are both lovely, well mannered and emptionally stable. Any BE member would be delighted to have them as daughters. Going through this big change in life is hard enough for us adults let alone kids who have the adolence phase to deal with as well.
Good on ya Mags:) |
Re: Having a bad day
Originally Posted by Margaret3
(Post 4866671)
awwwwwwwwwwwe, thankyou, what a lovely thing to say:D
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Re: Having a bad day
Originally Posted by Bix
(Post 4866678)
Can I say somethin now ? :D
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