British Expats - Dream over.......

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- - Dream over....... (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/dream-over-494190/)

Re: Dream over.......

Quote:

Originally Posted by gorgeousgal (Post 5566473)

I haven't heard from him today. I have heard from "friends" who knew what was happening but didn't tell me:curse:
I do still want to go and am going to speak to an agent to get some advice. TBH I'd like to keep the visa info under my hat, then I can use it as & when I need to.
I'm one angry Bitch woman today:eek: (note the capital B) I intend to get what I can & more!! This will prove to be one very expensive shag for him. Hope she's worth it!

You go girl!

Re: Dream over.......

Quote:

Originally Posted by gorgeousgal (Post 5566473)

Seriously I hope he/she catches something, for her a nice dose of chlamydia perhaps, one that will go undetected until it has done some damage. I wonder if she knew that he was married.

Check with your agent about the info. I would find out about the implications of you harbouring that information whilst you are applying for a visa.

You could say that you didn't know but I would get expert advice.

I really hope that you screw him financially, do you know when he is going to Oz, or does he think you won't go there on your own?

He probably thinks if he sells/cashes in policies and buggers off quickly then you wont be able to get money from him in Australia.

It would be nice if you could have his equity/assets frozen to stop him planning acting on anything.

Come to my flat right now and we will drink wine and plan our next attack.:thumbsup:

Re: Dream over.......

Quote:

Originally Posted by gorgeousgal (Post 5563590)

I have an appointment to see a solicitor next week. I'm out to get as much as I can (I sound like Heather "Mucca" Mills McCartney), not just for me, but for my kids. There's a fair bit of money/property involved (not showing off) and I will make sure we get what we're entitled to. I will be polite and hold my head high to keep my dignity and I don't want the children exposed to fighting & muck slinging. However, in my head it will all be going on!! The things I have called them :eek: (in my head!!) I would like nothing more than to cut his *!?* off and ram it down her throat, but I will play the game and get what I want. ;)
I'm still in complete shock, but I'm absolutely certain I will NEVER have him back (not that he wants to come back). I know it's going to be incredibly hard and I can't get my head around the fact that 3 days ago I was "happily married" and about to emigrate with my family. I feel very stupid not to have realised something was going on. He's been seeing her for nearly two years! He told me he was going to leave me last year, but my Dad died and messed up his plans:curse: He had also led me to believe that we had all been granted visas, however, he hadn't even included us! How stupid and naive can you be:confused: I had total trust in him and had no reason not to believe him. I bet she applied for her visa when he did and already has it.
I'm very uncertain about what to do next. I'll get advice from my solicitor regarding financial issues, but whether I go to Oz or not ??????? My gut feeling says go for it, but it's early days and I don't want to make rash decisions when I'm not thinking straight:unsure:
Sorry to ramble, but I'm actually feeling quite lonely. Once the kids are in bed, that's it - the brain goes into overdrive!
Thanks again for listening, you're all marvellous x

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fly Away (Post 5563953)

Now that would be funny! Can his wife name him on here?:sneaky:

Hi,
Some advice on the visa side of things, assuming that you may apply on yur own skills at some point.
If your former partner did not put you and the children on his application then he has effectively committed visa fraud. From his point of view this is pretty serious, but I guess that isn't your priority. However, I think you need to make DIAC aware that you have discovered he has applied for a visa without including his dependents for the following reason - if YOU apply for a visa you will need to put him down as your ex, and you will need to go through some kindof formal process in order to remove the children from the UK. If DIAC already has an application from your former partner which does not mention his marriage, wife, or children, then they are going to be a little suspicious when they get YOUR application.
Bearing in mind that DIAC are known to read the forum, I think you should be looking at advice from an agent, asap, as to the best way to approach this - I would hate you to discover further down the line that you have a problem getting a visa because of something your ex has done now.
In your shoes, if you are still considering emigration, i would be contacting an agent. If you pm someone like Alan Collett or George Lombard (who both post on here, under those names) then you can give them the link to this thread and ask their opinion.

Re: Dream over.......

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Originally Posted by Pollyana (Post 5566501)

That sounds like sensible advice Pollyana. We are all wishing that this man gets his just deserts, but it must be done carefully and with Gorgeous Gal's visa application in mind. I hope an agent can sort this out for her.:thumbup::thumbup: (and of course, that she gets the satisfaction of bringing the weight of the DIAC down on him!:lol:)

Re: Dream over.......

Gorgeousgal - I only seen this today:curse: words defy me!!

BUT on a positive note .......... I kicked my husband out 10 years ago for doing the same to me (well not the visa bit). I have struggled bringin up 3 kids on my own whilst he seemed to have all the fun BUT its me and the kids who are off to Oz in 9 days whilst he drinks himself stupid:thumbsup:

You are gonna go through all the emotions but i found the most productive one for me was anger - cos when i got angry i regained control of my life! Tell you friends and family though, you will need some support and if you ever want to chat PM me and i will send you my phone number!

Keep your chin up gal - your dream doesnt have to end just because you husband is a complete t******!!!!:wub:

Re: Dream over.......

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fly Away (Post 5566614)

I would be keen to get my application in pronto - if he is saying he is off to Oz he won't object to Gorgeousgal going with the kids. If later he is found out for fraud and sent packing by the Aussies- tough on him and his mistress (not!). If they find out soon and he gets stopped from going he might kick up about the kids going and we don't want that do we? Yet anyways.

Re: Dream over.......

..........oh yeah and its not the end of the dream!!

Its the start of a new, bigger, more colourful dream :thumbsup::thumbsup::wub:

Re: Dream over.......

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Originally Posted by daunted (Post 5567175)

..........oh yeah and its not the end of the dream!!

Its the start of a new, bigger, more colourful dream :thumbsup::thumbsup::wub:

Yeah, damn right:thumbsup:

Re: Dream over.......

Quote:

Originally Posted by quoll (Post 5559935)

Well, we dont want HIM here! See what you can do about getting a visa on your own skills, we do want YOU here!

What a prat!

That is easier said than done, there are kids involved remember.
I know it is hard now, and you probably can not see a light at the end of the tunnel, but you really are better off without him, better it happen there than here.
17 years ago my hubby was with someone else, but i did not know until we got divorced, he had another family as well. SHIT FACE:mad:
For the last 15 years I have been married to the most wonderful man you could ever meet, and 3 more kids, makes 6. Honestly my ex did me a favour, he is on his 4th wife now, lol
Be strong for the girls:thumbup: you will get through this.
Denise x

Re: Dream over.......

Now listen here chuck !!!!!
My hubby did not want to be involved in my kids lives either, too busy with the ladies [if you can call them that].
His LOSS I say, My 2nd Hubby has brought them up, and they love him to bits, Kevin has a fantastic job in Manchester, and is doing very well for himself, Scott has just finished a degree at Perth University, :thumbsup:
And Michelle who is 21 starts Uni in Feb, hey I have always been there for them, they dont need him in there lives. Sometimes, they are better off without them, but I dont say that for all the dads, some are brill. But Not many.
Denise

Re: Dream over.......

without wantin to cause disruption :unsure: I think it is equally important to encourage regular contact with the children if THEY want it (the children that is not the t****!) He will (maybe unfortunately ALWAYS be their FATHER if not their DAD!)
My father had an affair and left my mum when i was very young. my mum was understandably very hurt bitter and upset by it and she put every obstacle in our way of us remaining in contact with him - even if it was just the guilt i had at still lovin him! It was only 5 months ago i met my father ( who i now love calling Dad! :D) I can understand now having been through it myself WHY my mum acted that way but im not sure i will ever totally forgive it. It is too late for me to fill him in on my life - where do you start with over 30 years of life, not to mention 3 grand kids. My Dad fell out of love with my MUM he didnt stop loving me or my brothers, which is why i have always bitten my tongue and finally got to common ground with my ex, not for me or him but for the kids.

Ok - Im off my soap box now. Im NOT defending t*****s around the world just telling it from a childs perspective.:wub::wub:

Re: Dream over.......

Quote:

Originally Posted by gorgeousgal (Post 5559875)

Haven't posted a great deal as Oh has been sorting our emigration out......
Anyway, he's left me and our two kids (in limbo land) and is shagging (sorry if I can't say that) someone from work. He want's nothing more to do with me, says Im a fat ugly ****.
Not even sure what visa rights me and the kids have? I know he'd got it all sorted, but......?

And the great news is you escaped from some maggot :D before you were dumped alone with children in a country you may or may not have even liked.:eek: Did you really fancy being a single parent in a country a few months after you arrived.

Give it some time and work out where you want to live and whats possible (kids custody residence etc) .

Re: Dream over.......

I AGREE , I never stopped my kids seeing their dad, and they never wanted to go , I made them go.
When my oldest was 15, he told us he was gay, his dad never spoke to him from that day, his dad was always an arse anyway, so I was not surprised.
So the other two told him they did not want to see him then and that they never liked going , but they went because I made them. That was 12 years ago, you know he has never tried to get in contact, even when he know they where coming over here. But they have turned out damm fine. And Im so glad I made them go, and that they found him out for what he really was.
My daughter calls him her sperm donor, as David is her Dad.

Re: Dream over.......

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarolineW (Post 5567154)

If the OP applies to emigrate with the children she will need to mention their father on the application and if he has lied on his own forms it will come to light then. I really think it would be in the OPs best interests to get an agent to find out exactly what position she is in currently which depends on what the husband acually wrote on his forms, before she starts her own application.
In her shoes I would be contacting someone of George Lombard's ilk and getting them to look into it.

Re: Dream over.......

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pollyana (Post 5568262)

I honestly cant believe with all the checks that he could have got his visa even if they both applied independantly how could he have told so many lies on the form he would have to trip up somewhere trying to explain his situation. how can you find out what has been put on his forms? He could be a big barrier to getting your visa if things dont go his way. I suppose if he cant go then he might stop you going too.