Doubts
 

Anyone who knows me, will know i have every doubt imaginable about emigrating. I read some threads about people who got their visa and they cant wait.

Cant say i have ever felt like that , i sort of saw it as passing an exam, finally got the bloomin thing, but cant use the 'not having a visa' as an excuse anymore.

Just wondered if anyone else goes through this :)

I am embarassed by this thread, coz we are defo going, but the doubts are

still there :o

On the other hand , and this is how it usually goes, i argue with myself, the thought of sitting here on me backside for another 10 years watching east enders makes me want to jump in the nearest river, I WANT CHANGE :)

Re: Doubts
 

Welcome to my world! :)

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Rubbish innit, wondering night after night if your doing the right thing, not for yourself, but your family

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Beyond rubbish....I sit on this forum trading inane witisims (at least I think they are) :) with anyone who will entertain me. Inside I am plagued with doubts.

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The closer it gets the more I feel this - isn't it called fear?

Part of me can't wait to go and then the fear sets in but if I try and imagine turning around after all this and not going - well how depressing is that?

Lou
xx

Re: Doubts
 

just added a bit above, i argue with myself about it all the time, funny thing is OH has never had any doubts about it at all...............must be a women thing.
If i had lots of close family and close friends round about me, i would never contemplate it, but just the way things have worked out in my life -I don't :( , but because of this does this give me the right to take my kids away from all that is familiar too them

God , I need more wine :beer:

Re: Doubts
 

Yep, thats EXACTLY how i feel :)

I always remember posting something like this before, and someone replied saying 'hold on a minute and i'll go and buy some slipper for your cold feet', lol, but honesly i dont have cold feet for myself, just my family :)

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I have just got the perfect analogy....It feels to me like getting up to the top diving board and your friends are egging you on and you want to go but you are looking at the drop and the distance to the water and you know that it would be easier to lose face and backstep back down to the ground but somehow you want to still throw yourself off and prove sometihng to yourself!

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I dont have doubts so much as fears.

Finances, being able to get a job as finances dont last forever, racism, the usual stuff.

But Im sort of letting it all go a bit as there is no sign of the visa.

I expect my fears will surface their ugly heads when the visa comes.

And the main worry is I didnt realise how much my family meant to me until recently.

But we have to at least try.

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This is a very common feeling, which lots on here have discussed. We are hoping to go in the next few months and have obviously been thinking of an implications on our families, BUT, you really shouldn't live your life just to please your siblings or parents. I have an aged father who is in poor health who will be happy for us to have a new life in Aus, but I have a sister who will be totally against it and will hate me for it - not that it will have any impact on her as she lives 250 miles away. That's just how some people are about it.

If you think you will have a better life in Aus, go for it ! And don't worry about negative reactions from family. After all, why would they be negative ? Jealousy, perhaps ?

We're only here for a short time and we only get the one crack at life so do what's best for you. We are. :)

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:scared: :scared:

I know this is mega silly , but the thought of losing face at work and not going fills me with dread, if for some reason we didn't go , i would definatly change jobs to a bunch of people who have never known anything about it :( even if it was a job for the worse :(

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Have another wine hun...

kids are soooo adaptable (I know this having moved around loads myself when I was young - the only difficult move was when I was 17, but I coped).

It will be fine, you obviously have the urge to do it so make sure you have a good go at it. We've said nothing will make us turn back until we're past 3 years there. Keep thinking of why you wanted this and also (what helps me right now) is to focus on the things I don't like here (overcrowding, shit national curriculum etc etc)

Lou
xx

Re: Doubts
 

PP best of luck, know what you mean about family, i dont have loads and as you know my cousin died suddenly and in some bizarre event it made me closer to their family, but as am in a different town etc, i still feel a little like an outsider :)

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quite normal feelings which don't stop the minute you touch down on australian soil. continue for a little while after and for some never go away. life is too short you have to go for it. Better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.

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You have the fears too Sam?

It's amazing how we feel everyone else is so gung ho.

I think when Margaret said about people getting their visa and saying they can't wait is just the relief at the end of the process (and that part of them that can't wait too ;) )

Lou
xx

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I think what has jolted me somewhat is that when people say 'go to Oz as you only have one life', I thought that is so true.

Except, I only have one Dad and one family as well.

Scares the crap out of me.

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Ohhhhhhhh noooooooooo, this is what most people think, but i have 2 girls age 8 and 15 , 15 year old is outstanding at everything she does here (and i selfishly wish she wasn't), and some people would say well she'll shine in oz, but am scared it has the opposiet effec and it comes crashing down because of the move :scared:

Am also scared , if we dont go, she turns round at the age of 20 something or 30 something and says, well am off to oz (with or without grandkids)

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Wine is kicking in now.
My dad died 16 year ago and if i turned round and said i was doing this , i am pretty sure he would say 'bloody good on ya, wish i had done more', he should have, just circumstance took him to where he was :o

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I am sure if your Dad thought you had not gone to Australia because of him he would be upset. He will want you to follow your dreams, thats what being a parent is all about.

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sorry, sort of off subject, but bloody hell pp, dont you look sexy in your new avator :eek:

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Hi Margaret,

As you know I ain't found it easy!!!!!! It's been sooo different here. In the UK we could have a good standard of living. Nice house, both working, good cars etc. Here we'll have a better quality of living. Nae money but spending time as a family. Something that we didn't realise how little we did in the UK. It's expensive here but you can live relatively well on a little amount. I feel lonely sometimes when I walk about and know no-one.

Would I do it again.....Ye, cause you only have one life and so far I feel as though I'm living it. It's scary and tough at times but it's living.

Cheers

Ginny x

Re: Doubts
 

Your right ginny and i need to do some more of it :)

If i stayed i would resent teen for it, god does that sound dead bad :confused:

and here i go arguing with myself again, surely she would respect in later life the fact i had the balls to go for it, all beit for better or worse :confused:

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I still find it really emotional sometimes and wonder how I can get through things. Then I look around and think how lucky I am. We have managed to upsticks (us measly mortals) and move to the other side of the world! Wow.... There are so many who can't do this and are stuck in whatever life they are in. I have had a chance at something different. Ok so I'm a bit sad and money is very tight but it's still ok and manageable. It's ok.

Cheers

Ginny

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Things do get better. Enjoy what you have and the rest will fall into place in time.

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Kinda trying to do that. My mum's here just now so I'm on cloud nine. I thought I was all prepared but it's the emotional side that just hits you either way. I'm trying to take each day as it comes, good and bad.

Cheers

Ginny x

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Money being tight is not a big consideration for us , if am honest, every bloody month is a struggle here, and i know people will start to shout about it, but as you know am just an E grade staff nurse and OH is a printer, earns minimal wage and no pay if he's off sick, and has 3 weeks paid holiday in a year, we know some of it is illegal, but his boss is pretty flexible if kids are sick etc, he can stay off during the week and come in at weekends.

Over the years the childcare has basically bankrupt us, every three years things come to a head and we have to raise some money from somewhere or we sink, three years is just about up again :(

Re: Doubts
 

doubts...DOUBTS !!! i have them all the time,Good days...bad days.

I still dont know if i'll have the bottle to go thru'with it all.

It does my bloody head in :o


regards,Lee

Re: Doubts
 

Margaret, Hoping Les goes for a clinical nurse here as he'll earn more than me! My job pays crap but is' flexible. He was E in UK but can definately do clinical here.

It'll work itself out.

Cheers

Ginny

Re: Doubts
 

I think what you are going through is completely natural, from time to time I have the same feelings. My OH has not gone through these emotions at all, he just can't wait to leave this bleak weather. :)

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Without a doubt, my biggest problem is leaving my family behind. If they werent here, i'd probably never want to come back to the UK, but they are and they worship my kids and my kids worship them. If I had a bunch of friends in Adelaide, I would feel a lot better about the move.

Nic

Re: Doubts
 

Funny enough Mags we were thinking of you on the beach today :) And thinking how could anyone have doubts (be they kids or adults) on a long sandy beach on a beautiful warm day with hardly anyone on the beach.

You have to be here to appreciate the great day we had ;)

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LOL , are you trying reverse psychology, if so its working :D

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Well you can always come visit us in Melbourne after April 2007.

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Yeah i scond that you can visit busterboy :D











or me in mellie after feb :D

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You are certainly not alone with the doubts. I feel guilty that we are taking Ethan away from his nan and grandad (my mum and dad). They arent in the best of health and have never been abroad, they would never contemplate getting on a plane to come and see us. So it would be up to us to come back to see them. Are we being selfish?
It wouldnt be a problem with Marks mum and stepdad, they would come out so often we wouldnt be able to get rid of them :D

I am worried that in an emergency we would have no one to fall back on as we dont know anyone there really.

Oh god its so hard and we dont even have our visa yet and cant make our minds up on where to head for.

I suppose its normal to have everything whirring around your head, its such a big move. Hopefully it will all be worth it and we all have a fabulous life in Oz.

Joex

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Hi Margaret, god I know how you feel. Emmigrating to Oz seems like the best idea in the world but when you sit down and actually thinks things through it's bloody scary. My kids are only 3 and 5 but I'm worrying about how this will affect then, (3year old not at all) since my son was born we have never really settled anywhere for long, but have been here for 2.5 years and he's started school and loving it - but now worried in case he hates school over there, I know this shouldnt be a problem as he is soo young and adaptable, but you just worry in case you are making the biggest mistake of your life, but nothing ventured nothing gained eh!

As for family, my side are not close, I lost my Dad 6 years ago who I was very close to (who would say yeah go for it), whereas my mother who we rarely see eye to eye is doing the biggest guilt trip ever WTF!

Anyway sorry for going on but we are going, we are going to make the most of it and we will make it work cos I aint coming back to this crappy weather :D , and we couldnt afford to come back if we wanted to!

So if you didnt have any doubts or worries I would be concerned, it's a big move with lots at stake but only you and your family can make it work, and you will, I know you will cause you are a bloody stubbern mare :D

Good luck when you go, it will all work out for the best.
Clairex

Re: Doubts
 

I was full of anything and everything to do with Australia, until I submitted my spouse visa application last week and now its hit home and god am I panicking!!!!!!!! Its all happened sooooo quickly hav'nt had time to think......
so here we are now planning to move our family and life to the other side of the world.............please tell me we are not MAD!!!!!!!! C x

Re: Doubts
 

It's horrible isnt it, I was checking emails constantly waiting for our visa, then when we got the phonecall to say we had it, I was like I don't really want to go anymore! Now I'm okay, I want to go but the consequences are so scary. That why I like reading the positive posts (one year in etc), they kind of put my mind a rest a bit, and it is what you make it :eek: . I've always found that just not thinking about it helps :D
Clairex

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Nope sorry cant do that, we are all completely mad, otherwise we wouldn't even contemplate such a thing :eek:

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HI & thank you .I feel comforted that so many other people have fears/doubts too about making such a big life change. It has seemed to me that most users of BE are wildly happy about their lives Down Under or cannot wait to start it.
We are off ito Sydney in Jan.Husband excited at prospect, 12 y.o son hates us but is coming round to idea ,the younger children seem not to quite grasp the reality of situation and focus on all the fun & excitement of moving (which is great) and I`m living on an emotional rollerocoaster ! Some days cannot wait to start new life and other days not wanting to change what is generally a happy life here.We`re going as husband has been relocated by company but also is Australian and wants to go home for a while.
Of course we could change plans if I really wanted to but we very much believe in nothing ventured nothing gained.I`d hate lying on my death bed wondering what might have been.
My final word is of course you will have doubts,fewer after a glass of wine ,go for it and if it doesn`t work out you can always come home. Or try somewhere else!
Good luck with the sleepless nights!