K14

I'm right there with you!

My parents are at the end of a 3 month stint here. We fell out 2 weeks ago over something really silly and they stopped speaking to my husband. Now are barely back on speaking terms. I think it happened mainly because they have been here for too long. Just had other family here for 2 weeks and they were great - 2 weeks was fine. Over 1 month is too much for us. They're already planning to come back next year but will have to stay somewhere else.

Then last night my mil told us they're coming for 2 months arriving at the end of may. Going away for 1 week to Melbourne/Sydney. We were expecting them just to stay for 1 month which I think we could manage.

They won't hire a car as too nervous to drive, can't walk far as fil hip is bad so only thing left is to sit in our house for the whole time?! I will feel that I'll have to give them lifts everywhere. Husband is going to try to get them to change flights. Oh and flights - they'll be arriving at 12.30am so husband is going to have to pick them up and somehow work the next day.

I know it'll be lovely to see them and we all want to but I don't think they realise how disruptive it is (to come for such a long time) Especially when you're trying to settle in and make friends - haven't really been able to invite people over since January. Well I suppose we'll have one month to do as much socialising as we can before the in laws arrive

This is what put me off emigrating in the first place! At least when we're back in the UK next year they won't be all landing on our doorstep - funny how popular you become when you live somewhere sunny!

ukecadet

4 monthsStuff that you're on your own

moneypenny20

Have my family. None of them have come out, regardless of promises before we left, but hey, we've only been here 3 1/2 years

petensue

It is very odd that from reading this thread that some families tell you when they are coming and how long they are staying,why don't they ask first?No wonder some people are fed up

twhurl

I'm laughing reading this thread. My in laws almost killed me coming to visit blighty every summer from Australia. They would march in from May to september and run the whole Bl**dy household. They would even ring up my family and tell them they couldnt come down for a visit today cuz they were feeling a little tired and wouldnt like visitors :curse:
Anyway after a few years of that when my visa came through I panicked at the thought of them being down the road 24 / 7 and said hang on sweet you go and I'll stay back and sell the house just as the whole market tanked . Anyway long story short took a year to sell the bloody thing and almost had a nervous breakdown. Turns out having them down the road is less bother they dont march in like they own the place and we're all luvvvy duvvy. So in conclusion having them visit for ec#xtended periods is the worst. No one is in a natural space and you want to rip each other to pieces.

Dorothy

Seriously, it's your house and you say who comes to stay and for how long. If you don't think you can handle 4 months of them then just say so before they come and make things very uncomfortable for you and your family.

livinginreality

I've just been having a bloody good laugh at this thread because it brought back memories of when I was married to my first husband.His parents were fine,no problems.It was his sister and her husband!I never liked them from the first time we met The brother in law?Well!he had been on disability pension for years with a "bad"back,but hey that never stopped the guy fitting car engines in his spare time,fishing,lugging heavy furniture ect.The sister was a pain in the ass,and to top it off they had the most obnoxious brat of a kid you could imagine!Anyway we moved up country,about an hour's drive from where they lived.(This was in Adelaide).The phone would ring,OH would answer it,I'd hear him say "yeah ok see you in an hour"?So then me and the kids would head out of the house (on foot,no drivers license back then unfortunately ).I'd time it so we left the house 15 mins before they arrived,we'd stay out for a couple of hours,and return when they left.Even our dog used to be nudging his lead in panic when we'd get that phone call and we'd take the dog with us too!Ah thank god I divorced the guy and no longer have to put up with them.Hey thats an idea?No!forget I even suggested that one!

Ginger3710

Definitely get your husband to address this with her, it's much better coming from the son than DIL, believe me. You need to have set rules with all your houseguests IMO, perhaps you can tell her you have a set time-frame for all visitors, and if she wishes to stay longer then you'll look into cheap accommodation close by. Four months is way too long and very intrusive IMO, we're moving to Canada soon and there's no way anyone is staying with us for 4 months!! You need to set serious boundaries on this one. Good luck!

22B

For those of you wanting your visitors to stay independantly, have you thought about a house swap?

http://www.homeforexchange.com

Use the website to find some swappers in your area, see if they want to go to your visitor's home at the right time, and if so - hey presto!

(I've not done it, so this is a suggestion rather than a recommendation.)

hitchcock71

my in laws are a nightmare - i end up cooking ,cleaning , bossed about by them

they make cups of tea for them and hubby - but use all the water so i dont get a cup of coffee

they over ride me with the kids - i will say no and fil says oh they are alright

they take them down the beach even if its cold and raining ! when i have told them not to

they want there sheets washed everyother day - and mil was horrified when i said i dont wash sheets every other day i do it once a week!

if i am going out with kids i am asked where iam going and withwhom and what time i will be back

when i get back i get the 3rd degree - who what how much do they earn what do they do ???????????

they wanted to come over for easter but we manged to stop them by saying come ov er in november for the kids birthdays
we also said it would be a good time - as the baby we were expecting would have been in routine

since i have lost the baby my mil is muttering about coming over in july ??

god help me - i wanted to kill them by the end of holiday they were here


the funny thing is is my mil said while i was in blighty - i think the most you can stay as a house guest is 5 days after that you ware out your invite - but seems to have forgotton this - as they have never stayed in a rental always with me and my working hubby !

paulry

I agree, a one month (or less) maximum visit duration.

And buy a house where the guest room actually doubles as the garage - that should put them off.

ozhappy981

Yes! That's what my sister-in-law does, too! She did it last year AND again this year. We've now told her she must pick a flight that arrives in the day time.

She is a teacher and no way could she survive a day in front of her class on 4 hours sleep. Why do it to us???

Even better: her return flight was due to land at Heathrow at 3.30pm. A friend was picking her up. SIL said that was o.k. because it was 3.30pm but any later and she would have booked a taxi!

So, she thinks it's an imposition to get her friend to the airport any later than 3.30pm but getting us to the airport at 1am is fine and dandy???!!!

Thankfully she isn't coming next year.

smude

Totally with all of you on this one. My parents here for 3 months coming to the end now thank goodness. Only to receive a call from mil to say she will be out in november for 3 months! Not too bad though - as my parents will be back in Feb 10 for 3 months! AAAAAAGGGH. Taking the cowards way out and wait until they return home and then tell them it is too long. We will never have a summer as a family here.

What I would like to know though is how come others stay for 4 months?....what type of visa? ...thought that the longest was 3 month stay.

As you can see don't want visitors to stay longer....just curious.

Bernieboy

4 months oh Jesus

scottishcelts

Heeheehee - good suggestion,now you'll have everyone thinking!

My in laws are all really cool, funny, extremely witty & down to earth people, typical glaswegians, so i'll have no probs with them coming to stay, also good thing is they will take their turn to cook and clean and help - think they are comin in Feb, cant wait! I have my mum, her boyfriend and my sis coming on the 5th december for a month - yikes - i fear for my sanity - they are gonna drive me bonkers!