Dodgy water in the pool, giant scoreboard falling down at rugby venue, no more toys-pram ejections from Australian brats ...

Come on this isn't good enough, I need more entertainment!

Look in yer mirror

What about a light bombing or some ritual beheadings perhaps?

That's gonna result in nowt but bad luck

Entertainment right now ... Commonwealth Games vs Scrapheap Challenge ... hmm tricky, does the blonde bird with nice knockers still do Scrapheap Challenge?

I'll report back ...

Nah, the Blonde is still winning, hold on, I'll check ABC2 ...

Did you get yer wedding on DVD

Nah its on 35mm , he,s an old Co-hunt.........MM

Oi, I'm 39 OK, fair point, I AM watching The Dirty Dozen