bars open what you having?
Apr 16th 2007, 2:30 pm
#909
Account Closed
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 16,652
Re: bars open what you having?
Can i still pay for my drinks with jokes ? it was the deal yesterday ?
if so :-
Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a
Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life --until the boat sank. He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies...nothing... only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the
most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing,' he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
"Oh, this?' replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I
wove the bottom from palm branches. And the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, but, that's impossible,' stutters Ed. "You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the
hardware." Ed is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.
As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please. Would you like to have a drink?"
"No, no, thank you.' he says, still dazed. "Can't take any
more coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down
on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman
announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in
the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a
hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism.
"Wow!
This woman is amazing!" he muses, "What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a really long time. You've been
lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now,
something you've been longing for all these months. You know..." She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing: "You mean---", he swallows excitedly, "I can check my email?!"
if so :-
Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a
Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life --until the boat sank. He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies...nothing... only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the
most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing,' he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
"Oh, this?' replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I
wove the bottom from palm branches. And the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, but, that's impossible,' stutters Ed. "You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the
hardware." Ed is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.
As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please. Would you like to have a drink?"
"No, no, thank you.' he says, still dazed. "Can't take any
more coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down
on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman
announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in
the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a
hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism.
"Wow!
This woman is amazing!" he muses, "What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a really long time. You've been
lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now,
something you've been longing for all these months. You know..." She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing: "You mean---", he swallows excitedly, "I can check my email?!"
Apr 16th 2007, 2:34 pm
#910
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 29,154
Re: bars open what you having?
The JD has turned into Port 
Been here for 2 years and 3 months - fantastic years .......absolutely love it here.
Came on a 457 (crap idea), but got PR end of July (2005) - which is when we'll be going for Citizenship.
Been here for 2 years and 3 months - fantastic years .......absolutely love it here.
Came on a 457 (crap idea), but got PR end of July (2005) - which is when we'll be going for Citizenship.
Apr 16th 2007, 2:36 pm
#912
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: U.K. still!!
Posts: 1,503
Re: bars open what you having?
Apr 16th 2007, 2:37 pm
#913
Account Closed
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 16,652
Re: bars open what you having?