we have been planning this move for years, with all parents being supportive. as it is getting closer, and they realise that we are actually going to move things are changing. i don't think they ever thought that we would go through with it.

now come the sly comments about us taking their grandkids away, wot if they become ill and cant travel all that way to visit etc. the fact that the summer holidays passed and my mother (who is only 15mins by car) didnt visit once is implanted in the back of my mind.

we are having a big leaving bash on the saturday night, as we leave on the monday 12th nov. i have banned all parents from the airport, as i think the trip should be an adventure, not a trauma of weeping clinging grandparents. has anyone else done this? the idea of that long flight with 3 kids is bad enough, without them being tear stained too.

afterall, if they were that bothered, then they should have made the best of them over the summer. sorry, i feel better now!!

glad you feel better for the little rant. I think its definitely best to ban them. Saying that i have no experience with it, just as you say seems silly to waste the flights being upset might as well try and get over that on the train / way to the airport.

Very interesting posts... I have moved from The Midlands to South East Essex about 2 years ago and have found some friends who I thought were best friends never ever kept in touch and then others who I didnt think I was so close too, as always a person to chat to when I got down about missing everyone..

When we leave I am intending on getting my family/friends onto MSN for chatting and Facebook for blogging and photos... am also hoping that they will do the same (leave photos of people for me to see!)... the great thing about Facebook (or suchlike) is that you can still keep in touch without having to constantly be actually typing stuff to them! LOL! A quick poke and bobs your uncle! ooeerrr! LOL!

Em x

You didn't take the advice then Vim?

Great little poem

My wife and I are leaving for Perth in March 08. I told my parents two years ago, and there reaction was "good on you" "if we could go we would as well". So a positive and I know "brave" face reaction from them. I have been contemplating moving to aus for at least 10 years now, and actually in terms of age it is now or never for me. I am feeling very guilty at leaving my parents as they are in there 80,s, although fairly fit and healthy. I plan to fly back at least twice a year for the first few years, but my parents are to elderly to travel to aus. They are learning how to use Skpye ! which is a slow process as they have never had a PC. The guilt I am feeling is that i am not just down the road if they need me, I do have a brother and sister locally that will of course look out for them. This does help a bit, but i still feel guilty for not being around when at a time in there lives they are needing more looking after.

I know there is no easy fix for this, just wondered if any others out there are in a similer position, would welcome your comments.

Regards Kev

my step mum - who i am closer to than my real mum- has bought a pc just keep in touch with emails and to skype. she is 73 and cant even switch the thing on and cant even get her numbers out of her mobile phone. she has enrolled in lessons at the local library, but i dont hold out much hope.

i think we will soon find out who our true friends & family are.

we have even discussed thing such as wot if someone dies after we move or is very ill, would we come back etc. it sounds morbid, but it's best to both be on the same wave length.

saying that, in our run up to the big move we've had a funeral and a poorly parent in hospital. least they did it before we've left!

It doesn't sound far but in practise it is. It's a long expensive flight, it's not worth coming to visit for less than 3 weeks so that rules many people out work wise. Getting back for an emergency the distance may as well be to the moon. That expression "only 24 hours away" is a crock of bow locks in my opinion. Do I appear bitter that no one is even entertaining the idea of visiting

Its true, I dont buy the 'its only 24 hours away' because its not. Its as long as it takes to find an affordable flight and then add the days of travel. That short stopover in Singapore may as well be days if you are trying to get home in an emergency.

And then if you have a few grand spare for tickets then great - because a last minute flight might cost you double of what you would normally pay.

If there is anything I am not going to kid myself with, and that is the fact that once we are in Perth, we will not be 24 hours away and certainly not a small amount financially.

i have to agree with you issie, and reading this thread it is 'nice' (!!) to know that I'm not the only one

My friends have so far been great, parents are being supportive but obviously gutted, i think the 'brave face' is just as hard to take as the angry one!! My problem is my stepdad, we were not on good terms about another matter when i told them about our plans and since then he refuses to speak to me, which is causing untold problems and my poor mum is stuck in the middle - how guilty and depressed do i feel

good poem-pity Philip Larkin beat you to it !
or did you just forget to acknowledge him?

Hi

Nice to read the posts. Yes, people can have strange reactions to people moving away - is it fear of never seeing them again?, a dismissing in their own minds of their way of life?, or jealosuy?. Who know and generally you will be lucky to ever find out.

I think the point about not inviting relatives to airports etc for the point of departure is a very valid one. Could not agree more. I had a leaving party too, and the memories of that are alot more positive than they would have been with teary goodbyes in airport departure lounges I am sure. I simply, even when back for a visit like to say goodbye at the house, make my own way to the airport (not being dropped off by someone close), but treating even that small part of the journey from home to airport as the start of the adventure / journey. Geee, we all have enough to cope with in airports now these days anyway, esp with kids etc, without having tears or guilt trips to deal with too.

Immmm, tis all part of life's rich tapestry.

This thread is interesting.

People are shocked at how they are treated once their families learn of their migration plans, and how the family may well have tried to sabotage their plans.

Yet in the Moving Back to the UK forum, some people have been left devastated when their children have decided to move back to the UK from Australia, or refuse to move in the first place leaving their parents in another country.

One person even said she would not make it easy for her kids to remain in Australia and not stay for citizenship and that she had done it the hard way, so can her children.

So I guess that none of us know what our parents are going through until we go through it ourselves.

Just ask anyone in the other forum whose children have refused to come/go back and ask the parents just how easy they made it for their kids to have the choice.

It doesnt justify how some people treat their families but I do think desperation can make us do funny things.

If one of the reasons you are migrating to Australia is for a better life for your children, how would you feel if your children found that 'better life' and loved it and you were the one who wanted to go home?

Would you make their lives easy to enable them to stay - if they were say 16 years old and upwards?

I am glad I am not a parent because I think it must hurt like hell to see your child move to the other side of the world.

When I read some of the posts on here, I am lucky with my family really.

I understand what you mean PP and it has crossed my mind that my girls may want to come back to the uk when they're old enough.

But the other option is to stay here, getting older (and resentful for not going!) and then in a few years time they decide to go anyway

We've just decided to go for it and cross that bridge if we ever come to it

One of the main reasons people come to Oz is to leave disagreeable relatives behind.
Tell them that.

Hello

It's all so tricky isn't it, and life is never easy with these things. I do really believe it's all about sitting down with some written points / wishes / concerns you all have and discussing each of these and try to reach a compromise / agreement on these. Not everyone will be happy with everything, such is life. But the point is here, that people will not be 'holding' on to thought or issues for weeks, months or even years to come, and at least everyone has had a chance to 'vent'. This is an important step before emigrating I think, so people are at lest clear in their minds about what other people on the other side of workd feel about things. They may not agree with all things, but hae, that's far less stressful and emotionally wrenching than wondering around an Australian mall feeling lonely, isolated, upset and hurt wishing you knew what others were thinking or had discussed things before you left.

If you are already in Australia and are feeling like this there is no reason why you can't do a similar things over the email / phone, but do always keep it polite, focussed, concise and positive.

Hope this helps

Gordon