You know you're in Australia when ...
Oct 19th 2005, 3:16 am
#1
What's happening dudes?
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: Bayside Brisbane
Posts: 20,647
You know you're in Australia when ...
1... The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance.
2... Hot water comes out of both taps.
3... You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
4... The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly.
5... You discover that it only takes two fingers to steer your car.
6... You discover that you can get sunburnt through your car window.
7... You develop a fear of metal car door handles.
8... You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30am.
9... Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
10... You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.
11... Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to prevent them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
12... The cows are giving evaporated milk.
13... The trees are whistling for the dogs.
14... Whilst walking back barefoot to your car from the beach, you do a tightrope act on the white lines in the carpark.
15... You catch a cold from having the aircon full blast while you sleep during the night.
16... You learn that David Jones isn't a department store its a temple to worship air-conditioning.
2... Hot water comes out of both taps.
3... You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
4... The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly.
5... You discover that it only takes two fingers to steer your car.
6... You discover that you can get sunburnt through your car window.
7... You develop a fear of metal car door handles.
8... You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30am.
9... Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
10... You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.
11... Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to prevent them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
12... The cows are giving evaporated milk.
13... The trees are whistling for the dogs.
14... Whilst walking back barefoot to your car from the beach, you do a tightrope act on the white lines in the carpark.
15... You catch a cold from having the aircon full blast while you sleep during the night.
16... You learn that David Jones isn't a department store its a temple to worship air-conditioning.
Oct 19th 2005, 3:21 am
#2
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,997
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
Nice one Wayne
17....you take a cool box out to do your shopping and not just a picnic
18.....you have a fridge outdoors to keep your beers cool
19...you get IN the car to keep cool and OUT the car to warm up
17....you take a cool box out to do your shopping and not just a picnic
18.....you have a fridge outdoors to keep your beers cool
19...you get IN the car to keep cool and OUT the car to warm up
Oct 19th 2005, 3:22 am
#3
What's happening dudes?
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: Bayside Brisbane
Posts: 20,647
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
Originally Posted by phoenixinoz
Nice one Wayne
17....you take a cool box out to do your shopping and not just a picnic
18.....you have a fridge outdoors to keep your beers cool
19...you get IN the car to keep cool and OUT the car to warm up
17....you take a cool box out to do your shopping and not just a picnic
18.....you have a fridge outdoors to keep your beers cool
19...you get IN the car to keep cool and OUT the car to warm up
Oct 19th 2005, 3:28 am
#4
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,997
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
21.....in summer your dog has more fleas than doghairs
22.....your makeup melts and you look like Cocoa the clown
23....you can have a BBQ on the beach FOR FREE...and it's CLEAN
22.....your makeup melts and you look like Cocoa the clown
23....you can have a BBQ on the beach FOR FREE...and it's CLEAN
Oct 19th 2005, 3:42 am
#5
She's Diddy, He's Not
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Gold Coast - just like Felixstowe
Posts: 2,454
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
Originally Posted by phoenixinoz
22.....your makeup melts and you look like Cocoa the clown
Yeah, I hate that.
Paul.
Oct 19th 2005, 3:45 am
#6
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,487
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
Originally Posted by phoenixinoz
21.....in summer your dog has more fleas than doghairs
22.....your makeup melts and you look like Cocoa the clown
23....you can have a BBQ on the beach FOR FREE...and it's CLEAN
22.....your makeup melts and you look like Cocoa the clown
23....you can have a BBQ on the beach FOR FREE...and it's CLEAN
24. You walk the dog as late as possible to avoid him collapsing from heat exhaustion.
25. You avoid walking under trees whilst walking said dog, to avoid get shat on by bats.
Oct 19th 2005, 3:49 am
#7
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,834
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
Originally Posted by A dogs life
24. You walk the dog as late as possible to avoid him collapsing from heat exhaustion.
25. You avoid walking under trees whilst walking said dog, to avoid get shat on by bats.
25. You avoid walking under trees whilst walking said dog, to avoid get shat on by bats.
Oct 19th 2005, 3:59 am
#8
Cleveland, Bayside
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Bayside, Brissy
Posts: 1,595
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
27. Someone turns out the lights at 6.30 pm and you can't see a bloody thing!
28. You get attacked by magpies while walking to school
28. You get attacked by magpies while walking to school
Oct 19th 2005, 3:59 am
#9
She's Diddy, He's Not
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Gold Coast - just like Felixstowe
Posts: 2,454
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
29......you run away from anything that crawls as it's probably poisonous.
Oct 19th 2005, 4:01 am
#10
She's Diddy, He's Not
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Gold Coast - just like Felixstowe
Posts: 2,454
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
30....you no longer give way to anyone when driving or thank anyone that gives way to you.
31...pedestrians are considered a target.
31...pedestrians are considered a target.
Oct 19th 2005, 4:02 am
#11
Joined: Dec 2003
Location: Hillarys, Perth
Posts: 3,973
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
LMAO!! 
It's funny 'cause it's TRUE!
I learned the hard way about parking, shade and hot steering wheels... burned myself pretty badly
32. You go for a swim in your pool to cool off only to discover you are still hot and now WET too.
33. You've mastered the art of the "towel shuffle" (Getting from the top of the beach to as close to the water as you dare whilst using the towel as a buffer between your feet and the sand)
34. You CLOSE all your blinds during the day and open them at night.
35. Hugging, stroking or skin-to-skin contact of any kind is forbidden unless in the designated air-conditioned areas.
Siren
It's funny 'cause it's TRUE!
I learned the hard way about parking, shade and hot steering wheels... burned myself pretty badly
32. You go for a swim in your pool to cool off only to discover you are still hot and now WET too.
33. You've mastered the art of the "towel shuffle" (Getting from the top of the beach to as close to the water as you dare whilst using the towel as a buffer between your feet and the sand)
34. You CLOSE all your blinds during the day and open them at night.
35. Hugging, stroking or skin-to-skin contact of any kind is forbidden unless in the designated air-conditioned areas.
Siren
Last edited by Siren & Brian; Oct 19th 2005 at 4:02 am. Reason: cause people are faster than me!
Oct 19th 2005, 4:22 am
#12
Nomadic Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: In a crowd
Posts: 70
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
Originally Posted by phoenixinoz
22.....your makeup melts and you look like Cocoa the clown
I've now learnt to either
a. go without make-up
b. shove it on with a trowel cos then it acts as a sunblock as well.
neither option is a pretty sight
Oct 19th 2005, 4:30 am
#13
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Melbourne since 2003
Posts: 1,014
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
your white shirt is now black because it's covered in flies
Oct 19th 2005, 4:33 am
#14
She's Diddy, He's Not
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Gold Coast - just like Felixstowe
Posts: 2,454
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
37....people say thongs without smirking like a child.
Oct 19th 2005, 4:37 am
#15
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,997
Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
36....when you always change from smart clothes to casual cos you've got wet patches
[ignore soapy he allus has em..that's cos he pishes himsen ]
37...when you've done yer hair and it's straight and by the time you've reached the car you look like afro man from the 70's
38....when you shop for flip-flops [thongs] in different colours cos they are comfy and you wanna wear them with different outfits
39.....when you put ice in the dogs drinking water to stop them spitting the warm water all over the floor in disgust
40.....when you put things in your fridge in summer that normally belong in the pantry
41..when you find weevels in your spaghetti in the pantry and you throw up in the bin at the thought you nearly cooked it/ them
[ignore soapy he allus has em..that's cos he pishes himsen
]37...when you've done yer hair and it's straight and by the time you've reached the car you look like afro man from the 70's
38....when you shop for flip-flops [thongs] in different colours cos they are comfy and you wanna wear them with different outfits
39.....when you put ice in the dogs drinking water to stop them spitting the warm water all over the floor in disgust
40.....when you put things in your fridge in summer that normally belong in the pantry
41..when you find weevels in your spaghetti in the pantry and you throw up in the bin at the thought you nearly cooked it/ them