You know you're in Australia when ...
 

1... The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance.
2... Hot water comes out of both taps.
3... You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
4... The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly.
5... You discover that it only takes two fingers to steer your car.
6... You discover that you can get sunburnt through your car window.
7... You develop a fear of metal car door handles.
8... You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30am.
9... Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
10... You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.
11... Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to prevent them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
12... The cows are giving evaporated milk.
13... The trees are whistling for the dogs.
14... Whilst walking back barefoot to your car from the beach, you do a tightrope act on the white lines in the carpark.
15... You catch a cold from having the aircon full blast while you sleep during the night.
16... You learn that David Jones isn't a department store its a temple to worship air-conditioning.

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

Nice one Wayne;)

17....you take a cool box out to do your shopping and not just a picnic
18.....you have a fridge outdoors to keep your beers cool
19...you get IN the car to keep cool and OUT the car to warm up

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

20. When you take a picnic to the beach, the sea is warmer than your coolbox.

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

21.....in summer your dog has more fleas than doghairs:rolleyes:
22.....your makeup melts and you look like Cocoa the clown
23....you can have a BBQ on the beach FOR FREE...and it's CLEAN

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

Yeah, I hate that.

Paul.

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

24. You walk the dog as late as possible to avoid him collapsing from heat exhaustion.

25. You avoid walking under trees whilst walking said dog, to avoid get shat on by bats.

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

26. even a bit of fluff blowing accross the floor sends u screaming.....assuming its a bloody spider :eek:

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

27. Someone turns out the lights at 6.30 pm and you can't see a bloody thing!
28. You get attacked by magpies while walking to school

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

29......you run away from anything that crawls as it's probably poisonous.

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

30....you no longer give way to anyone when driving or thank anyone that gives way to you.
31...pedestrians are considered a target.

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

LMAO!! :D

It's funny 'cause it's TRUE!
I learned the hard way about parking, shade and hot steering wheels... burned myself pretty badly :(

32. You go for a swim in your pool to cool off only to discover you are still hot and now WET too.

33. You've mastered the art of the "towel shuffle" (Getting from the top of the beach to as close to the water as you dare whilst using the towel as a buffer between your feet and the sand)

34. You CLOSE all your blinds during the day and open them at night.

35. Hugging, stroking or skin-to-skin contact of any kind is forbidden unless in the designated air-conditioned areas.

Siren

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

LOL, so true.

I've now learnt to either
a. go without make-up
b. shove it on with a trowel cos then it acts as a sunblock as well.

neither option is a pretty sight :D

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

your white shirt is now black because it's covered in flies :eek:

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

37....people say thongs without smirking like a child.

Re: You know you're in Australia when ...
 

36....when you always change from smart clothes to casual cos you've got wet patches

[ignore soapy he allus has em..that's cos he pishes himsen:D ]

37...when you've done yer hair and it's straight and by the time you've reached the car you look like afro man from the 70's

38....when you shop for flip-flops [thongs] in different colours cos they are comfy and you wanna wear them with different outfits

39.....when you put ice in the dogs drinking water to stop them spitting the warm water all over the floor in disgust

40.....when you put things in your fridge in summer that normally belong in the pantry

41..when you find weevels in your spaghetti in the pantry and you throw up in the bin at the thought you nearly cooked it/ them