Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
Sep 9th 2007, 2:41 pm
#16
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Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
We were married and he is on birth cert , also by the time we divorced we had 2 children and much to my disgust and disbelief at the time he was awarded custody of our eldest(now 13) and I was awarded custody of the youngest(now 10) in court he was awarded contact as was I. He didn't maintain his contact with our youngest, I did maintain my contact with our eldest until 2005 when he persuaded her that she didn't need me. I write to her every week I never get a reply but one day I will be able to explain all to her, I keep copies so I can prove to her I never gave up. Anyway to contact order gave PR.
Thanks BethandAndrew, I appreciate the support, even though you know deep down he will not get residency and its a ploy to delay, it still feels so hard. I will keep you posted and thanks for offer of PM ..
Sarah
Thanks BethandAndrew, I appreciate the support, even though you know deep down he will not get residency and its a ploy to delay, it still feels so hard. I will keep you posted and thanks for offer of PM ..
Sarah
Sep 9th 2007, 2:51 pm
#17
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Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Little Mountain, Sunshine Coast, Queensland
Posts: 3,008
Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
My ex was a total nightmare..........pulled every trick he could out of the bag to delay the Final Hearing.
I had no-one to talk to when I went through my court process, apart from my hubby, who was brilliant. I didn't know what I should be aiming for in court etc.
I eventally found someone who had done it already, and even though I was almost at the end of the court case, it gave me a tremendous confidence boost just to know someone else had done the same as me!!
You're not alone......I've seen quite a few more people going through the courts on here now......
Keep your chin up......look forward - never back
Beth x x
I had no-one to talk to when I went through my court process, apart from my hubby, who was brilliant. I didn't know what I should be aiming for in court etc.
I eventally found someone who had done it already, and even though I was almost at the end of the court case, it gave me a tremendous confidence boost just to know someone else had done the same as me!!
You're not alone......I've seen quite a few more people going through the courts on here now......
Keep your chin up......look forward - never back
Beth x x
Sep 9th 2007, 6:47 pm
#18
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 31
Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
Hi everyone,
Thought I would release my frustrations by giving an update on our trials and tribulations in relation to getting permission from my ex for our daughter age 10 years to emigrate.
Back in Feb we went on holiday to Oz, OH has family there, fell in love with the lifestyle etc and on return applied for a job (nurse) got job offer in 3 weeks, got state registration in 2 weeks all good so far. Had solicitor appointment in early March thanks to forum to go through preliminaries to get permission from ex who has not had contact for 5 years. Letters sent, no reply, stat dec sent, no reply, court application made simultaneously with 457 app as all was looking good that he had disappeared. Then on court day last Monday 13th he APPEARS and guess what he does cross application to get residency after all this time. Our meds had been in LCU since early July and the backlogs gave us a good excuse for being slow proceeding with job offer/start date. However today Meds all finalized and solicitor says next court appearance will be 5th Nov after final CAFCASS report and final hearing will probably be early in New Year. Have been quoted £4000 Plus..
Well what now...do you think a job offer will be kept open that long? Has anyone been left in this position?
I know so many people are having similar issues on BE but even so you still feel alone and frustrated and angry and AGHHHHH...
Sarah
Thought I would release my frustrations by giving an update on our trials and tribulations in relation to getting permission from my ex for our daughter age 10 years to emigrate.
Back in Feb we went on holiday to Oz, OH has family there, fell in love with the lifestyle etc and on return applied for a job (nurse) got job offer in 3 weeks, got state registration in 2 weeks all good so far. Had solicitor appointment in early March thanks to forum to go through preliminaries to get permission from ex who has not had contact for 5 years. Letters sent, no reply, stat dec sent, no reply, court application made simultaneously with 457 app as all was looking good that he had disappeared. Then on court day last Monday 13th he APPEARS and guess what he does cross application to get residency after all this time. Our meds had been in LCU since early July and the backlogs gave us a good excuse for being slow proceeding with job offer/start date. However today Meds all finalized and solicitor says next court appearance will be 5th Nov after final CAFCASS report and final hearing will probably be early in New Year. Have been quoted £4000 Plus..
Well what now...do you think a job offer will be kept open that long? Has anyone been left in this position?
I know so many people are having similar issues on BE but even so you still feel alone and frustrated and angry and AGHHHHH...
Sarah
Good Luck with your case
Kind Regards
Niahm
Sep 9th 2007, 9:36 pm
#19
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Joined: May 2004
Location: Termite Country (Tanah Merah)
Posts: 1,372
Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
We were married and he is on birth cert , also by the time we divorced we had 2 children and much to my disgust and disbelief at the time he was awarded custody of our eldest(now 13) and I was awarded custody of the youngest(now 10) in court he was awarded contact as was I. He didn't maintain his contact with our youngest, I did maintain my contact with our eldest until 2005 when he persuaded her that she didn't need me. I write to her every week I never get a reply but one day I will be able to explain all to her, I keep copies so I can prove to her I never gave up. Anyway to contact order gave PR.
Thanks BethandAndrew, I appreciate the support, even though you know deep down he will not get residency and its a ploy to delay, it still feels so hard. I will keep you posted and thanks for offer of PM ..
Sarah
Thanks BethandAndrew, I appreciate the support, even though you know deep down he will not get residency and its a ploy to delay, it still feels so hard. I will keep you posted and thanks for offer of PM ..
Sarah
Your story is VERY similar to mine! Very scary! I kept my eldest, the ex-kept the youngest. 5 yrs non-contact etc. Objection etc. Amazing how the Courts see fit to split a family!!
We had our 457 etc and then it all collapsed.
1 year later and GBP10,000+, we won. (ex on Legal Aid of course!)
I am sure you will too! Happy to give you details etc of what we had to do etc by PM.
PS: Get your solicitor to book Court dates in higher Courts for the inevitable "appeals" as your ex-loses each round. Such dates can take months so sooner they are booked, the quicker you are in.
Andrew
Sep 9th 2007, 10:32 pm
#20
Retired
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 34,649
Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
They cannot just wash their hands by saying "it's the law" and pass a child over to a parent who may be violent/abusive.
Sep 10th 2007, 4:14 pm
#21
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Location: Hobart, Tasmania
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Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
Thanks JAJ we are reviewing the schools policy to take this further, so many thanks for the advice.
Hi Andrew,
Thanks for your post, it is scary and sad that the splitting of children happens. I know we have to stay positive and concentrate on the future, but some days it all gets a bit much and you feel like running away. BUT we will fight on and I very much appreciate the BE support and I will pm for more details (not sure how to do it..will ask OH!!!)
No matter what it takes we will achieve our dream..
Thanks again
Sarah
Hi Andrew,
Thanks for your post, it is scary and sad that the splitting of children happens. I know we have to stay positive and concentrate on the future, but some days it all gets a bit much and you feel like running away. BUT we will fight on and I very much appreciate the BE support and I will pm for more details (not sure how to do it..will ask OH!!!)
No matter what it takes we will achieve our dream..
Thanks again
Sarah
Nov 20th 2007, 3:24 pm
#22
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Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
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Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
Hello my friends
Well we have been going the motions of the court process and cafcass reporting, with highs and lows along the way, we were due in court on 7th Nov but ex had it adjourned apparently he had a an operation (no proof yet supplied!!! surprise) but finally we have a new hearing for Fri 23rd Nov. The evidence is in and it is in the hands of the gods for now. I am feeling very jittery at the moment, positive days and then some negative. this is an emotionally draining process and my heart goes out to the many of us in this situation.
Many thanks to all who have supported us and continue to do so.
I will keep you posted.
Sarah
Well we have been going the motions of the court process and cafcass reporting, with highs and lows along the way, we were due in court on 7th Nov but ex had it adjourned apparently he had a an operation (no proof yet supplied!!! surprise) but finally we have a new hearing for Fri 23rd Nov. The evidence is in and it is in the hands of the gods for now. I am feeling very jittery at the moment, positive days and then some negative. this is an emotionally draining process and my heart goes out to the many of us in this situation.
Many thanks to all who have supported us and continue to do so.
I will keep you posted.
Sarah
Nov 20th 2007, 3:25 pm
#23
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 8,067
Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
Hello my friends
Well we have been going the motions of the court process and cafcass reporting, with highs and lows along the way, we were due in court on 7th Nov but ex had it adjourned apparently he had a an operation (no proof yet supplied!!! surprise) but finally we have a new hearing for Fri 23rd Nov. The evidence is in and it is in the hands of the gods for now. I am feeling very jittery at the moment, positive days and then some negative. this is an emotionally draining process and my heart goes out to the many of us in this situation.
Many thanks to all who have supported us and continue to do so.
I will keep you posted.
Sarah
Well we have been going the motions of the court process and cafcass reporting, with highs and lows along the way, we were due in court on 7th Nov but ex had it adjourned apparently he had a an operation (no proof yet supplied!!! surprise) but finally we have a new hearing for Fri 23rd Nov. The evidence is in and it is in the hands of the gods for now. I am feeling very jittery at the moment, positive days and then some negative. this is an emotionally draining process and my heart goes out to the many of us in this situation.
Many thanks to all who have supported us and continue to do so.
I will keep you posted.
Sarah
Nov 20th 2007, 4:04 pm
#24
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,991
Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
Goodluck Sarah
WIll be thinking of you
WIll be thinking of you
Nov 20th 2007, 4:28 pm
#25
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Posts: 443
Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
hi sarah, just read your post. i feel so sorry for you - my ex fought me for custody when i left him. cafcas, health visitors, sols etc all involved - it nearly broke me, but in the end i got custody and he got defined contact, now he sees them twice a year if they are lucky!
my advise to you would be to keep a diary, anything that may be of use to you, phone calls anything, it just strenghtens your case in court.
he was going to try to stop me from taking them to oz but i sought legal advice and she sent him authorisation just to see what the outcome was, and a few months down the line he signed it! he tries the emotional blackmail with the children even now, but they are eventually seeing him for what he really is - i never thought the day would come but it has (they are now 16 and 14 years old).
what i am trying to say is good luck with everything and i'm sure everything will turn out ok in the end - it may be a long drawn (and expensive) process but it WILL be worth it in the end. keep focusing on your goal and when you need support and reassurance just post on here, everyone is brilliant. by the way i was quoted #5000 as well if it went to court proceedings!
with regards to the job, they are desperate for nurses so i would explain the circumstances if you have to and they may look on it favourably.
good luck sarah
vicky
my advise to you would be to keep a diary, anything that may be of use to you, phone calls anything, it just strenghtens your case in court.
he was going to try to stop me from taking them to oz but i sought legal advice and she sent him authorisation just to see what the outcome was, and a few months down the line he signed it! he tries the emotional blackmail with the children even now, but they are eventually seeing him for what he really is - i never thought the day would come but it has (they are now 16 and 14 years old).
what i am trying to say is good luck with everything and i'm sure everything will turn out ok in the end - it may be a long drawn (and expensive) process but it WILL be worth it in the end. keep focusing on your goal and when you need support and reassurance just post on here, everyone is brilliant. by the way i was quoted #5000 as well if it went to court proceedings!
with regards to the job, they are desperate for nurses so i would explain the circumstances if you have to and they may look on it favourably.
good luck sarah
vicky
Nov 20th 2007, 5:08 pm
#26
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Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
Sarah, have just read through this thread & would like to wish you all the very best of luck for Friday
K sent!
K sent!
Nov 20th 2007, 6:11 pm
#27
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
Good luck, got everything crossed for you
Joex
Joex
Nov 20th 2007, 6:16 pm
#28
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Location: Happily in Adelaide
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Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
Good luck!
Just read your thread and wishing you all the best. That date has always been lucky for me - so I hope it is as lucky for you. Hopefully it will be the first day of your new life down under.
Just read your thread and wishing you all the best
. That date has always been lucky for me - so I hope it is as lucky for you. Hopefully it will be the first day of your new life down under.
Nov 20th 2007, 7:29 pm
#29
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Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
Thank you all so much. BE support is truly worth its weight in gold. I appreciate it so much.
Sarah
Sarah
Nov 20th 2007, 7:37 pm
#30
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Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!
Very best of luck to you, fingers crossed that common sense prevails and quickly
xx
xx