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Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Old Aug 20th 2007, 6:32 pm
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Default Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Hi everyone,

Thought I would release my frustrations by giving an update on our trials and tribulations in relation to getting permission from my ex for our daughter age 10 years to emigrate.
Back in Feb we went on holiday to Oz, OH has family there, fell in love with the lifestyle etc and on return applied for a job (nurse) got job offer in 3 weeks, got state registration in 2 weeks all good so far. Had solicitor appointment in early March thanks to forum to go through preliminaries to get permission from ex who has not had contact for 5 years. Letters sent, no reply, stat dec sent, no reply, court application made simultaneously with 457 app as all was looking good that he had disappeared. Then on court day last Monday 13th he APPEARS and guess what he does cross application to get residency after all this time. Our meds had been in LCU since early July and the backlogs gave us a good excuse for being slow proceeding with job offer/start date. However today Meds all finalized and solicitor says next court appearance will be 5th Nov after final CAFCASS report and final hearing will probably be early in New Year. Have been quoted £4000 Plus..

Well what now...do you think a job offer will be kept open that long? Has anyone been left in this position?

I know so many people are having similar issues on BE but even so you still feel alone and frustrated and angry and AGHHHHH...

Sarah
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Old Aug 20th 2007, 7:36 pm
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Default Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Oh Sarah what a nightmare. Try to keep your chin up. You'll get there in the end, surely the court wont take any notice of a bloke who hasnt seen his child in 5 years. Unfortunately these are more hurdles for you to jump over to achieve your goal. Really feel for you, we had enough trouble trying to get Marks ex to let his son have meds even though he isnt coming with us (she didnt let him) but we still got the visa.

Got everything crossed for you, hope it all works out.

Joex
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Old Aug 20th 2007, 8:46 pm
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Default Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Australia are desparate for nurses so I am sure that work will not be a problem for you.. I'm gutted that this has happened, there is nothing worse than a parent who uses a child to hurt/ control/ punish their ex ...

My sister was dragged to court so many times, and HE got legal aid all the way.... no matter...

I'll keep my fingers crossed that you get a court with some common sense, as for the residance thing.... after 5 years absence he hasn't got a leg to stand on...

Hoping for the BEST outcome for you...
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Old Aug 20th 2007, 8:48 pm
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Smile Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Just been through the courts myself. Your ex won't get a Residency Order from what I can see, the Courts should put an end to that one.
I started my court case last Sept/Oct and it ended in July, so quite a long process with preparing court bundles, Cafcass reports, statements, evidence etc. Cost us almost £5,000.
You seem to have a strong case, so don't back down. I had a very complex case, and finally got granted Leave from the Jurisdiction of England and Wales.
I had a 3 month gap in between the final court hearings.......think it was to give me, my solicitor/Barrister, Cafcass officer and my ex time to get all our paperwork submitted into the Courts......but it was a long 3 months waiting.
Keep your chin up though.....a positive attitude when I was in the stand being grilled by the Judge and Barristers made me look confident in my decision to emigrate. He still took 45-50 minutes to retire to make his decision.....and that was the longest part of the court process for me!!!!
Good luck......I think you will be ok though....just the time it takes will slow you down.
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Old Aug 20th 2007, 8:52 pm
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Default Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Originally Posted by eddie007 View Post
Australia are desparate for nurses so I am sure that work will not be a problem for you.. I'm gutted that this has happened, there is nothing worse than a parent who uses a child to hurt/ control/ punish their ex ...

My sister was dragged to court so many times, and HE got legal aid all the way.... no matter...

I'll keep my fingers crossed that you get a court with some common sense, as for the residance thing.... after 5 years absence he hasn't got a leg to stand on...

Hoping for the BEST outcome for you...
Thats just awful that he had done such a thing, my mrs reckons that it will end up going to Caffcass and they will assess as to whether its in the childs best interest to grant the absent father of years anything at all.

she also reckons he wnt get residency, but that you would have to show how you would support contact with father and child once you goto Oz.

hopw that makes ense.....


I feel for you mate......

some Karma for yas
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Old Aug 20th 2007, 8:56 pm
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Default Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Thanks for the replies.

Its sad that so many of us have to go through this process. We will not give up and I can't wait to post on BE that we have our permission and then we have our visa.

Justice will prevail, thanks again for the support it really is appreciated

Sarah
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Old Aug 20th 2007, 9:06 pm
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Default Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Originally Posted by nigelb View Post
Thanks for the replies.

Its sad that so many of us have to go through this process. We will not give up and I can't wait to post on BE that we have our permission and then we have our visa.

Justice will prevail, thanks again for the support it really is appreciated

Sarah
We went through this when i had to get PR of the Mrs oldest kids, there dad does not give a S**T about his kids and just signed wherever we had asked him to.

I would throttle the ******* should i ever encounter him, i am glad he never turned up at court i would have probably ended up in court meself.

Keep us posted, my Mrs knows alot about this stuff as she has laot of dealing with courts and kids.
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Old Aug 21st 2007, 4:50 pm
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Default Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Thanks again for the support and messages I know that we need all the support and karma we can get over the next few months. Solicitor has said we have 2 weeks to submit our statement in reply to his residency petition and Cafcass mediation will be set asap with final date to cafcass reports 5th Nov. We are busy collating our evidence etc and trying to stay positive. Solicitor has said he will not get the residency its just a tactic to delay us and hopefully dismantle our plans. Well NO WAY I am not going to have any more of mine or my daughters life destroyed by him.

to anyone else going through this know we need to all stay strong together.

Bring it on...

Sarah
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Old Aug 21st 2007, 4:54 pm
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Default Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Good luck in getting your permission Sarah, luckily for us ex partner did not have a problem and signed everything needed, actually its a bit sad he couldnt give a toss only seen his son a handful of times since he was 2 now 18

Good luck and best wishes

kaye
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Old Aug 21st 2007, 4:57 pm
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Default Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

[

Sarah[/QUOTE]

I remember the stess of having to get my daughter (by ex) to do medical even tho NOT going.

Managed it somehow, prob on the pretence of a free holiday.

Best o luck mate...


Dave
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Old Aug 21st 2007, 6:16 pm
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Talking Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Good Luck Sarah........I felt very alone when I went through the Court process.....but I can see there are quite a few more people now going through the same as I did.
Wishing you all the very best of luck......pretty confident your ex won't get a Residency Order....so try not to worry about that issue.
Just yell if you need me
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Old Sep 9th 2007, 3:13 pm
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Default Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Hi guys,

I need a bit of support at the moment, the court process is turning nasty as I predicted, last week he contacted my daughters school informed them of his parental rights, they then phoned me to say if he arrived with proof of his parental responsibility they would be legally obliged to hand her over. My solicitor immediately faxed to his solicitor to get an assurance that he will not attempt to do this. No assurance received as yet! We are waiting for first cafcass appointment which has been delayed because he took extra time submitting his residency full application which we should get to see this week..it will be interesting to see what grounds he thinks he has.

I feel somewhat lonely and very uneasy..not physically lonely because my OH has been brill and I don't know how I would cope if he didn't understand and take care of me. However it still very hard and I wish it was all over.

Sorry for long depressing post just needed to get it off my chest.

Sarah
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Old Sep 9th 2007, 3:31 pm
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Default Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

As he has had no contact within the last 5 years wouldnt he have to apply to court for parental responsiblity? PR isnt assumed just because of biology as far as i am aware.
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Old Sep 9th 2007, 3:31 pm
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Default Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Originally Posted by nigelb View Post
Hi guys,

I need a bit of support at the moment, the court process is turning nasty as I predicted, last week he contacted my daughters school informed them of his parental rights, they then phoned me to say if he arrived with proof of his parental responsibility they would be legally obliged to hand her over.
You should simply inform your daughter that she is not under any circumstances to go with him.

The school cannot just "hand her over" if she refuses to go.

And don't assume the school is legally correct either. You may want to discuss what they said with your solicitor as at the very least it appears irresponsible of them to take that attitude. There may be a basis for a complaint to the governors or local education authority.

This applies especially if he has a history of violence.

The other option you may have legally is to withdraw her from the school if you cannot trust them with her security. Again , discuss with your solicitor.

Last edited by JAJ; Sep 9th 2007 at 3:45 pm.
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Old Sep 9th 2007, 3:34 pm
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Talking Re: Update on ex's permission - NOT!!

Hi,
Sounds all too familiar. As I mentioned before, I don't think your ex will get a Residency Order......the Judge will end that case pretty quickly I should imagine, it's just a delaying tactic by your ex to slow things down.
My ex tried the ringing around every school trick too. It is right that if he has PR the school can't stop him taking his child.....BUT the school can ring YOU if he ever turns up unannounced trying to take the child out of school. I had a Contact Order in place to prove he only has in-direct contact with my daughter (he can only post magazines to her), so the school knew legally he couldn't see her, never mind TAKE her.
I ended up getting a Residency Order for myself and my current hubby to prove my daughter only lives with us.
Don't get too down, I know how hard it is. Keep thinking positive and focus on Australia. I'm sure the Court Welfare Officer (Cafcass) will see his motives and realise it's all him just trying to put a spanner in your works.
PM me if you need me ok
Thinking of you
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