Never seeing them again?????
May 4th 2004 | 9:54 pm
#31
She's a bird, you know
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 7,655
From: Yorkshire
Re: Never seeing them again?????
Originally posted by Dicko
Bit of a hard one this? But has anyone gone or is planning to go when there parents are getting on a bit?
Thing is, my wifes' parents are in this category and she is terrified she will never see them again.
How do we get over this obstacle no matter what I say doesnt seem to reassure her, would just like to tell her she is not on her own when going through this.
Any advice is realy appreciated
Thanks
Bit of a hard one this? But has anyone gone or is planning to go when there parents are getting on a bit?
Thing is, my wifes' parents are in this category and she is terrified she will never see them again.
How do we get over this obstacle no matter what I say doesnt seem to reassure her, would just like to tell her she is not on her own when going through this.
Any advice is realy appreciated
Thanks
Hmmm, know this one. My mum was recently diagnosed with cancer which has put our application on hold for the moment. Nobody knows how long she will live - could be 2 years, could be 22. She is adamant that we all go and get on with our lives.
Best thing I can suggest it starting up an emergency fund so that there is always a bit of money handy for getting a flight home if one of her parents gets sick. That's what we're doing.
One thing I've learnt from my mum being sick is that life really is too short, and you can't put things off waiting for something to happen. It's no way to live. You have to get on with it and deal with things as they happen, but still be prepared if the worst does happen.
May 4th 2004 | 10:26 pm
#32
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 112
From: Bury St Edmunds
I think this is the one problem that everyone moving to Oz will encounter. I am very close to my family and always have been and know that if/when I move to Oz it will be difficult, but I can't always live my life for them.
If I do go and decide that for whatever reason it is too difficult for me then I will come back, but I can then say I did it, but it's not for me, instead of "if only"!!
KayCee
If I do go and decide that for whatever reason it is too difficult for me then I will come back, but I can then say I did it, but it's not for me, instead of "if only"!!
KayCee
May 4th 2004 | 10:58 pm
#33
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,638
From: Near Duloc
Originally posted by simbacat
It is all about perspective I would say, and you never know what is around the corner for you and any of your family. It is what is in your heart what is important and that you say and write how much you love and miss someone. I migrated to Britain in 1992 and 5 years later I had a phone call i never expected, my 9 year old baby sister died in an accident. I really truly belive it is not how close you live to somebody more about what you say when they are still alive. Thats my two pennies worth.
It is all about perspective I would say, and you never know what is around the corner for you and any of your family. It is what is in your heart what is important and that you say and write how much you love and miss someone. I migrated to Britain in 1992 and 5 years later I had a phone call i never expected, my 9 year old baby sister died in an accident. I really truly belive it is not how close you live to somebody more about what you say when they are still alive. Thats my two pennies worth.
May 6th 2004 | 1:08 am
#34
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 987
Originally posted by KayCee
I think this is the one problem that everyone moving to Oz will encounter. I am very close to my family and always have been and know that if/when I move to Oz it will be difficult, but I can't always live my life for them.
If I do go and decide that for whatever reason it is too difficult for me then I will come back, but I can then say I did it, but it's not for me, instead of "if only"!!
KayCee
I think this is the one problem that everyone moving to Oz will encounter. I am very close to my family and always have been and know that if/when I move to Oz it will be difficult, but I can't always live my life for them.
If I do go and decide that for whatever reason it is too difficult for me then I will come back, but I can then say I did it, but it's not for me, instead of "if only"!!
KayCee
I know exactly what you mean and you are not alone.Really hard for us too, my husband is not close to his immediate family but I am close to my Mum and Dad leaving them is going to be one of the hardest things I will ever have to do.But they have said that you have to do what feels right for your family now.Even worse is the fact that that our children love there grandparents so much.My dads health is not good and not sure if he could get over when we go so that will be hard one.
Whatever you do will be hard I have told them if we are really happy then they will just have to come and live with us,but in reality this will not happen.My Mum has said she will come and visit us.I think initially it will be very difficult but as time goes on it may become easier.Who ever said emmgrating was gonna be easy eh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 6th 2004 | 1:28 am
#35
Cheesy Member
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,033
From: Brisbane
I agree - if someone is going to suddenly drop dead it does not really matter if you are next door or 10,000 miles away. The only time it will make a difference is if it is an illness/accident etc that leaves them hanging on for a short time and you do not have the time to get back and see them before they go. A bit morbid that really - though it is natural. I think I prefer to see family/friends when they are happy and well.
I have been here 3 years, my parents are in their 70s. Thankfully they are great (barking mad, but great) and were completely supportive when I told them I was planning to move to the other side of the world for love
They have been out here twice - once for our wedding (brother and his family came out then too) and once last year. They took it easy last time - upgraded to business class or something on one leg and had a stop over in Kuala Lumpur on the way out. I keep in touch by phone and email. Never bothered with webcams - after all I never did when I lived in Hampshire and only saw them 3 or 4 times a year, so I saw little point. We did make them a video of out house, the boys etc a couple of years ago - I really should do more of that and send them more pics.
Looking forward to a trip back later this year - my sister has a boy and a girl I have not yet seen and Mum and dad, Sis and Bro have all moved house in the last three years. Come to that so have I - which just goes to show that people tend to get on with their lives.
Cheers,
DagBoy
I have been here 3 years, my parents are in their 70s. Thankfully they are great (barking mad, but great) and were completely supportive when I told them I was planning to move to the other side of the world for love
They have been out here twice - once for our wedding (brother and his family came out then too) and once last year. They took it easy last time - upgraded to business class or something on one leg and had a stop over in Kuala Lumpur on the way out. I keep in touch by phone and email. Never bothered with webcams - after all I never did when I lived in Hampshire and only saw them 3 or 4 times a year, so I saw little point. We did make them a video of out house, the boys etc a couple of years ago - I really should do more of that and send them more pics.
Looking forward to a trip back later this year - my sister has a boy and a girl I have not yet seen and Mum and dad, Sis and Bro have all moved house in the last three years. Come to that so have I - which just goes to show that people tend to get on with their lives.
Cheers,
DagBoy
