Hi Dicko

Here's my story.....................I lived 15 mins drive from my folks, I was gettin ready to go and help them with decorating one weekend when I got a fone call from my sis to say Mum was not well and could I come over straight away.........I got dressed asap was just going out the house like 5 mins later when the fone went, it was mt sis to say dont rush its too late.................Mum was only 54 and had been always healthy!!!!!!!!!!

I guess what I am trying to say is tell your wife it doesnt matter if you are 5 mins away or 5 days away, you never know if you are going to see your loved ones again......................you cant live your life thinking like that............you just gotta get on enjoy every day as if its your last..........thats my motto in life.

Hope this helps a little

Love and Hugs
Heather

Got to just respond to that one Heather, my own parents died young so I am totally with you on that my Dad was diagnosed cancer at 51 within 18 months he had gone, and exactly the same as you mum myI received a phone call on sunday afternoon saying my Mum had collapsed, I got to the hospital 10 mins later she was in a coma never got the chance to say goodbye, aged 56 gone.
What I try and say is you cant live your life on what might have been, or what may happen.

good luck with whatever and thanks

Hey Dicko,

We should name this the doom thread lol................after my mum died we helped my dad the best we could and thot he was managing real well etc etc after the death of my mum, but despite all our efforts he just could not live without her.....and he died 10 months later of....as the docs said " a broken heart".........this made me more determined to make the move to Oz, and give my two daeling kiddies the best life that I can................you just gotta make the most of what you got....dont spend time wondering about the "what if's!!!!!"

Go for it.........take the chance................and enjoy.

Hey lets bring the post back up again just keep telling ourselves it's for the kids as well as us.

And so what if we have to come back after a couple of years how bad would we feel if at the age of 65 we said to ourselves "I wish we had tried it when we had the chance"
This is what I keep saying to my wife when she worries about her Mum and Dad we have to do it for ourselves and be a bit selfish.


Dont you agree?


And it not like it's the other side of the world !!

Yeah totally agree with ya...you gotta be selfish in this life to get anywhere!!!!!!

And as you say.......go there if you like it stay....if not you come back...at least you can say well we gave it a go...........more than a lot of people have the courage to do!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course it will be hard for your wife to leave her folks.....but you've gotta think of your immediate family unit, and how much they will benefit from the move!!!!

Feel free to get your wife to e-mail me, or if you use MSN messanger I can give you my addy and I could chat to her on there try and put her mind at reat a little!!!

Take Care and good Luck

Heather

Ps Where you hoping to relocate in Aussie?

I went thru the worry of "should I shouldn't I" in 1981 even to the extent of seeing our family Doctor (Dad had a heart problem). His advice was "If by staying here in England you could keep your Father alive for ever-you would stay--you have your life to live just as your parents did" I notice that most of the post's are from women.Here is one from the male perspective. My Dad passed away 14yrs ago--luckily we had gone back in the summer to see Mum and Dad --he was in hospital and I was informed that he may have a few months to live if that(passed away in Dec) Leaving England that time was harder than the first--could not get back for the funeral-no money. I still have the "Guilts" over that. Mum is 88 and not in the best of health-- I dread hearing the phone ring in the early hours of the morning. Would I emigrate again if I could turn back the clock? Yes-only I would have come over a lot earlier.

What sort is it? Do you need broadband? Are they easy enogh to work? Probably silly questions - but really want to know as we've no knowledge of them, and had thought about webcams for parents - not sure we'd be able to teach them though!
Thanks - Maco

Heather
Sorry to read about your parents it is a really sad story. I would like to wish you the very best of luck for the future.
kind regards
Debs

Sorry if this is a bit flippant for what is a very serious issue but frankly if I see my in-laws again it wil be waaaaaay too soon.

My mum comes to NZ regulary cos both me and my sis are here so I will see her again (too bloody often!!).

The only people I might never see again are my grandparents - and they, especially my Grandma, were the most positive ones about the move out of everyone.

In fact the family thing that upsets me most is that I will not be able to be there when my Dad's ashes are interred - and that is mostly anger cos I have been trying to get my lot to agree on the when and where for two years. I move to NZ and Bingo! within a week it is all arranged for when my sister goes over in May. As mum said - it will be nice for all the family to be together for it - meaning grandparents, her, my sister and her little boy. But hey, I am not bitter!

This is my first post on the forum. Have been reading postings for four months now. We arrived in perth 15 months ago. Loved it all and still do. Lifestyle is great for our boys. We moved for a better life for them and us. Weather and time being a main reason. Things have not always been easy which you can not expect when moving 12 thousand miles away from home. We are now selling and and moving back. If we could move all our family here it would be a wonderful life. life without your parents,aunties uncles cousin and old friends is very lonely.Children are happy where ever they are as long as they have the love of their parents and a happy home life. We have now realised that its not where you live but how you live your life. We have no regrets. Its been a wonderful 15 months and we will hopefully look at the uk in a new light. I have come to realise that you have to make sarifices in life. This is mine. We can always come back for holidays. You can not get back grandparents watching the grandchildren grow up. If you are taking the plunge. Go for it but look at it as a few years out of the rat race and to have that quality time to get to no each other and your children again. You will definaltly look at life differently. If you decide to stay in your new destination or move back again your life will be richer for the experience.

Its a Labtec (quite a large brand if you start looking into it). We do have broadband which'll help keep the picture less distorted I guess, but you dont neeed broadband for a webcam.
Webcam's are VERY easy to work. They usually come with 'plug and player' (you plug it in, the startup wizard does the rest!). I use mine conjunction with MSN (which if you dont have already is dead easy to set up)

You simply open a conversation window up with the person you want to talk to, there are two buttons there. One to start sending your webcam, the other to received the other persons webcam. DEAD easy

If your parents can use the internet they'll have no problems with this. Out of interest, you can get webcams that have built in mic's, my boyfriend has one of these and I find it quite annoying because it picks up a lot of background noise like the TV as well.

If thats not clear send me a PM and I'll try and reword it for you

Cheers

Hi

We have been in Melbourne for 9 months now and I still feel bad about taking the kids away from Hubbies Dad!! He is on his own after Hubbies Mum passed away 3 yrs ago and these are his only Grandchildren. He will be 70 next year and suddenly that seems very old.

We have been thinking about returning in a few years to be with him although I suddenly realised that he is getting on with his life and he would much prefer to see us settled and giving the kids this experience than jack it all in for him!!

I guess that you have to think that if your kids moved out, started a family and then a few years on decided to move to a different country how would you feel. I know that I would be happy just knowing that they are enjoying themselves and making the most out of their lives!

Dicko,

I can associate with many of the comments made and those of your wife. 2 very close friends, the first lost his father from a sudden heart attack (did not get to see him) - that brought it home to me as my father was the same age as his father, which is unusually as most people my age have younger parents. That was around 10yrs ago and my father is still around.

My other friends' mother went through the long suffering of cancer only to recover from that to find a terminal brain tumor. Less than 18mths after her death my friends father had a sudden heart attack at Christmas with family. Both her parents were young.

You never know when death can happen, you just know it will and life can be cruel.

My parents are now getting on and it is tough that we will leave, however one intention is that once we are settled we will pay for a flight for them to come and visit, stopping over at Singapore (give a break for his bad back). I would rather spend money to see them whilst they are alive, than keep the money aside for their funerals.

Is there any chance that your wifes parents would be well enough to travel to Oz? It may also give then something to look forward to and if it turns out to be their one and only visit they can die in the reasurance they can picture where you live and the life you are leading. This will probably make them feel happier than them feeling the reason you have not gone to Oz is because you are 'waiting' for them to die.

All the best with this tough decision
walaj

I have a Dad of 89 who I am in the process of relocating to the UK from Portugal. Haven't been able to tell him we are going down under as he will not want to come back here (even though it is best for him at this stage in life).

I have spent years putting my life on hold for him because he kept using the old line 'i will only be around for a few more years'. Well 10 years later, he's still here and we are going. If we wait another 10, I'll be 40!

Its tough but you can't put your life on hold for anybody. ON the plus side, my Mum has said she would like to move out to be with us in the future.

You just have to follow your dreams.

It is all about perspective I would say, and you never know what is around the corner for you and any of your family. It is what is in your heart what is important and that you say and write how much you love and miss someone. I migrated to Britain in 1992 and 5 years later I had a phone call i never expected, my 9 year old baby sister died in an accident. I really truly belive it is not how close you live to somebody more about what you say when they are still alive. Thats my two pennies worth.