Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

You have stumped me now... :o :D

Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Oh err misses :nudge: :nudge: :wink: :wink: :D

A :)
Looks like I've got to go and be the tooth fairy now :eek: Why can't it be the tooth pirate of something more manly. :D

Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Men are like....

1. Men are like ..Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of you.
2. Men are like ......Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .Blenders .... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ......Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ....Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ..Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ........Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .......Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ........Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like . Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like .Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.


I await your WOMEN ARE LIKE version :D :D

Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Blonde Friday



A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets
up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The Flight
Attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells
the blonde passenger that she paid for Economy and that she will have to
go and sit in the back. The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful,
I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and
co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that
belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes
back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for
Economy she is only entitled to an economy place and she will have to
leave and return to her original seat. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde,
I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying Right here!"

Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that
he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this
blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The pilot says, "You say she's
blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!"
He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh, I'm
sorry - I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the
economy section. The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked
him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

The pilot replied "I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne". :)

Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

:d

Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

George Bush has organised a benefit pop concert for the Hurricane victims in New Orelans but he told Katrina and the Waves to F*** off!!

Suzy x

Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Love it Emzee,
PMSL
Jane :D :D

Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Humpty dumpty sat on the bed
Little Bo Peep was giving him head
After he came she started to weep
'Cos she knew by the taste he'd been shagging her sheep.

Suzy x

Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

The cutest little girl with blonde ringlets and big blue eyes goes skipping into a pet shop.

The pet shop owner sees that she is looking a bit confused and goes to help.

Kneeling down to the little girls height he asks 'Can I help you? '

"Do you have any bunny rabbits?" asks the cute little girl

"oh yes" says the pet shop owner "would you like a white fluffy bunny rabbit, or a brown bobtail rabbit or a big black rabbit with floppy ears"

"well" says the cute little girl

"I really dont think my python gives a shit"

Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

:D

Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

One day a little cat was walking through the park when he came across a
pond.

He peered into the pond and noticed that at the bottom of the pond there
was a little cocktail sausage. The cat was feeling quite peckish so as the
water wasn't that deep he reached in with his little paw. The cat hooked
the sausage out and ate it.

The next day the cat was walking through the park again and he peered into
the pond again there was another sausage but this time it was a normal
sized one so the cat reached in but this time he had to put his whole arm into
the pond. The cat hooked the sausage out and ate it.

The next day the cat looked into the pond and found an enormous Cumberland
sausage at the bottom of the pond it looked so delicious, but it was so
huge that he had to actually put the whole of his body into the pond to get the
sausage. He ate it and found it very tasty!

THE MORAL OF THE STORY................................







The bigger the Sausage - the wetter the Pussy !!!! :eek:

Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

An Australian guy decides to travel around the Greek Islands. He walks into a bar and Jill (the Australian Barmaid) takes his order, a Fosters, and notices his accent. Over the course of the night they get to know each other.

At the end of Jill's shift he asks her if she wants to come back to his place and have sex with him. Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 for sex. Jill is travelling the world and because she is short of funds she agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again, orders Fosters and after showing her plenty of attention throughout the night he asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. Jill remembers the night before and is only too happy to agree.

This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in, orders Fosters and sits in the corner. Jill thinks that if she pays him more some attention then maybe she can then shake some more cash out of him again, so she goes over and sits next to him.

She asks him where he's from in Australia and he tells her: "Melbourne".

"So am I... What suburb in Melbourne?"

"Glen Iris" he replies

"That's amazing..." she says, "So am I - what Street?"

"Cameo Street" he replies

"This is unbelievable..." she says,"What number?"

He says "Number 20" and she is totally astonished.

"You are not going to believe this but I'm from Number 22! My parents still live there!"

"I know..." he says, "Your Father gave me $1,000 to give to you"

HE WHO DRINKS AUSTRALIAN THINKS AUSTRALIAN!