Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

In a vain attempt to liven up a drab saturday night, im going to tell a joke, but the deal is we all need to tell jokes so come on and pass on your funniest jokes.....Lets brighten up tonight.

Man and his wife go to the doctor, after the doctor has examined the wife he says " well ive got some terrible news, your wife is extremeley ill, she has either aids or alzheimas". Man asks "well how we will know". Doctor replies "put her on the bus, if she comes home then dont F*** her. :D

Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Theres this guy walking round the supermarket when he notices a good looking blond smiling at him

Mmm he thinks shes familiar I know her from somewhere

The blond approaches him and says
hallo your the father of one of my children

Christ he thinks remembering his stag night
Youre the stripper arent you the one I had sex with on the pool table whilst the lads lashed me with celery and stuck a cucumber up my ar*e?

No ( looking horrified ) Im your sons English teacher she replied

Regards

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Oh! We have found the level now!! lol
lace

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NEWSFLASH!!!!!!!
The planned cricket tour of Pakistan will go ahead!
The pakistani cricket board insist they can dig up a team from somewhere

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it always finds its own level :D

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hope youve got a hard hat mate

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oh dear!

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women eh
boob jobs, botox, pierced ears, nipples, bellys. Eyebrows plucked, bikini lines & legs waxed, & they wont take it up the arse because it HURTS

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ooo f**k i hope you have a hard hat too mate :D :D

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PMSL Quality!

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I can never remember jokes, and if I do I tend to spoil them by accidentally telling the punchline before the joke is finished :rolleyes: :D

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15 blokes chase a Iraqi through Mcdonalds and beat the shit out of him. A witness was asked why he didnt help, he said to be honest i thought 15 was enough

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Lol

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Thought of a joke that would probably be funnier in Oz due to the accent.

What do you call an Italian Astronaut?
A specimen!

All the best adult jokes I tend to hear is when I am heavily p155ed so can never remember those! :beer:

Re: Joke Time !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Two nuns are sitting in the traffic waiting for the lights to change when suddenly a vampire appears in front of them. ‘Oh sister, what shall we do?’ stammers the younger nun. ‘Do not worry,’ came the reply. ‘Show him your cross.’ The younger nun winds down the windscreen and yells, ‘**** off, you little twat!’