571090

in general i am a very positive person , but the simple fact remains , a lot of people dont like the fact that somebody else wants to better their life [ wether it be the right desicion or not ] and thats human nature . tell me have you ever lived in a neighbourhood where one neighbour buys a new mondeo and then two weeks later the other neighbour buys a new bmw . same with holidays , conservatorys etc . the simple advice that i have given to the starter of this thread is to keep their cards close to their chest , something like moving to Australia is to much of a thing for anything to stand in the way of hence , a still tongue keeps a wise head .

FluffieFaerie

I always struggled with giving people reasons as to why we were leaving. We weren't leaving for work so basically it was because we wanted a better life for ourselves and our kids. I always wondered if people might interpret that as us saying their lives are crap - which we weren't, of course, but I always felt a bit awkward trying to explain things. We did have one friend who we were very close to who completely cut himself off from us after we told him. We were all out for drinks when we told him, seemed very interested and happy for us - and that was the last we heard from him after years of a strong long-distance (4hr drive) friendship. We've called, emailed, sent invites and cards etc... diddly squat. Maybe he felt we were abandoning him..? I dunno. Just seems like odd behaviour to me.

Molko1974

Oh yes. A couple of people from my work were being nasty when I handed in my notice. I had been there 8 years and considered them my friends, but they soon showed their true colours. One of them asked what I had to offer Australia and made other nasty comments.
If it doesn't work out then so what, at least you gave it a try rather than staying at the same company for 20+ years and when moving house, move to the house next door. I'm just being nasty now about the guy who was nasty to me.

emelems

I have a friendship exactly the same - I came to the conclusion that this friendship was a "face to face" friendship... don't get me wrong, we didnt live that close, but I think from knowing her so long that she just kinda wrote me off as "well, shes gone now"... NOT in a nasty way, just in a sad way

Em x

stephen elaine

I too have just gone through everything mentioned above, working with so called work friends 8 years (I thought) I think my Boss got wind that I may be going to Oz, I was then told I was up for redundency and that I had lost on points to another Manager whom had no qualification,experience,brain dead, but was a boot licker, had to wait 1 week for assessment of experience,service,attendance etc.( this week was like hell treated like a t..t by work colleagues cold shouldered,ignored,not spoken to etc)Holidays were booked for 11th Dec 2008 3 months earlier.
I was then served with redundency notice friday 28th Nov and put on garden leave with 2 months notice to serve till end of Jan, + holiday pay.Bearing in mind I had just one an award for services to the company been given bonus,pay rise.

BadgeIsBack

I can believe that. What people also report is people who gush about it when you tell them your plans for the first time. It is clearly something that was on their mind - (even if they haven't taken action).

There do seem genuine cases of family friction and quite nasty relatives though:

Watchword - it seems to me that the people who criticise their 'MiL', 'OH's sis, my old wanker boss (etc) are often the people who 6 months into their lives in Perth are lamenting the very wit of these same people. 'You don't miss them until they are gone (etc etc)'.

Lambuel N Ruby

I notice that the finances of immigrating seem to be a common denominator for awkwardness. While it would be rare to ask how much the shoes you are wearing cost, we have had a lot of people ask how much it costs to ship a dog, what our salaries will be, are the employers paying relocation, etc.

Have found that vague answers like "Well, money is kind of relative in this sort of thing" and a quick topic change tend to be best.

Maybe what I'm saying is that some folks may assume you have to be wealthy to be an expat...but we're not, so no need be jealous!

AndyR

I had to tell my boss because I needed a skills reference for my RPL. I was dreading it big time as since I joined the company 2 years ago I've seen lots of people made redundant, plus that fact everyone else here has been around since the dinosaurs!

When I told him he was actually happy for me and agreed what we were doing was the right thing. Since then though what was before a good working relationship has been hit and miss. Suddenly I have to cover extra shifts, I can't take holidays when others are allowed, I've been forced to work all over Christmas even though I had the holiday request in first etc etc.

No other colleagues know and thats the way I'm keeping it. I originally said to my boss I'd give him 3 months notice when I only have to give 1 because it would help them find someone else. Well since his attitude transplant he can stuff that! He's getting 1 months plus all my holiday accrued

My problems are small though compared to my wifes. I won't even go there, I'll let her tell you those details!

But like you say, some people just don't like to see people do something different. If you break away from what they deem to be normal, well, god help you!

Nu-Shooz

It might not be jealousy, they probably don't care less what you do, giving the impression they are jealous.

The Flintstones

Sometimes people can be jealous without even knowing it themselves. Though this is usually small part of the problem.

People listen to stories down the pub, etc. Such stories are rarely positive, positive stories are mostly boring because its expected, but negative stories are more exciting and useful as warnings, etc. So all their lives people hear these truthful but negative stories about Oz from people they trust. The problem is they haven't heard the other side of the argument, so they have a negative bias which is hard to change.

emelems

I am 13 years into complaining about my inlaws... do I get an "excused" note??



Em x

PS not 13 years in Aus tho.. just 13 years feel of the ol' ball and chain as it were! lol!

cookiestar

I must admit to having been jealous of friends who have moved overseas, but I've come straight out and told them that I am jealous, but at the same time I'm very happy for them.

We've been quite up-front with everyone (except my employer) that we're going through the immigration process just now, and have had (so far) no negative comments.

emelems

Well that is a good thing ... very positive for you... its a lot easier with friends on your side

Em x