Isolation/homesickness
Jun 1st 2005, 7:40 pm
#16
Margie
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 65
Re: Isolation/homesickness
Originally Posted by AliMay
I think a lot is down to adopting a really positive attitude.
You can fend off homesickness by keeping busy and working to build a support network of new friends. We have no family in Oz and are working hard to do this. It was tough leaving behind friends who had known us for years and known our daughter since she was a baby but I have to say that we have found it so easy to meet people and socialise here. The folk are just so open and welcoming. I initially made "friends" with the lady in the coffee shop. It helped that I had somewhere welcoming I could go if I felt at a loose end and it stopped me being home alone while my husband was at work.
I know it would have been an impossible move if my mum had still been around. My husbands parents are both alive but although he loves them dearly he can be away from them without a feeling of homesickness or guilt. I think it must be hard for those with elderly parents in the UK. I wonder if this is one of the main reasons for folk returning to the UK?
For me, 4 months in, I can say I have no regrets at moving. I have days when I am blue and am frustrated by things not going well.
I find this forum invaluable for cheering me up and offering support. It really does helps just knowing there are others out there that are going through similar things.
So IMO you need cheap phone cards- for the times you really need to chat and have a laugh with friends and family
-or Skype for computer phone calls
- this forum for anonymous silly questions!
-ideally the air fare home just in case
-a sense of adventure and humour
Good luck Ali
You can fend off homesickness by keeping busy and working to build a support network of new friends. We have no family in Oz and are working hard to do this. It was tough leaving behind friends who had known us for years and known our daughter since she was a baby but I have to say that we have found it so easy to meet people and socialise here. The folk are just so open and welcoming. I initially made "friends" with the lady in the coffee shop. It helped that I had somewhere welcoming I could go if I felt at a loose end and it stopped me being home alone while my husband was at work.
I know it would have been an impossible move if my mum had still been around. My husbands parents are both alive but although he loves them dearly he can be away from them without a feeling of homesickness or guilt. I think it must be hard for those with elderly parents in the UK. I wonder if this is one of the main reasons for folk returning to the UK?
For me, 4 months in, I can say I have no regrets at moving. I have days when I am blue and am frustrated by things not going well.
I find this forum invaluable for cheering me up and offering support. It really does helps just knowing there are others out there that are going through similar things.
So IMO you need cheap phone cards- for the times you really need to chat and have a laugh with friends and family
-or Skype for computer phone calls
- this forum for anonymous silly questions!
-ideally the air fare home just in case
-a sense of adventure and humour
Good luck Ali
,Hi Ali,
Thank you for your post.
We are arriving in Perth 17.8.05.
My husband's brother and family are there, so I hope this will make the move easier.
I'm leaving an 84 year old mother behind and this is hard! She is upset, but says we are doing the right thing for our girls aged 6 and 9.
I hope with work and the children I will meet people, plus I'll try find and something new to do, night school, club or anything to get out and meet new friends.
Do you find the Perth people friendly?
Have your children settled?
I just want to get there, I think the last few weeks here will be the hardest.
Your comments have helped with peace of mind.
Thanks!
Margie
Jun 1st 2005, 10:14 pm
#17
Cup of tea, Father?
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Underground, overground, wombling free
Posts: 6,895
Re: Isolation/homesickness
My grandfather's funeral was yesterday; that's how I know that the feelings of homesickness and grief at the death of a loved one are different. I wasn't so much trying to be sensitive to those bereaved, as not terrify those about to set out with the move!
Originally Posted by TopCat3
Sweet of you to be sensitive about the grief of bereaved people, though I see no need for you to qualify what you said and almost disacknowledge/undermine the feelings behind the first sentence of your post.
Missing is missing.
Missing is missing.
Jun 1st 2005, 11:24 pm
#18
Go the BNE Roar
Joined: May 2003
Location: Northside
Posts: 1,590
Re: Isolation/homesickness
Like GG I find the weekends are worse than any other time no mates just dropping round for a chat or a trip to the bookies/pub. No trips to the football with the lads followed by a night out on the town. I can no longer just drop round to my sisters/brothers or parents you know the sort of things that made weekends fun.
And if anyone knows what a lucky 15 is called over here let me know.
TT
And if anyone knows what a lucky 15 is called over here let me know.
TT
Originally Posted by Geordie George
I think the best explanation (comparison?) I've seen is that homesickness (or, more specifically, in my case at least, peoplesickness) is like grief. You grieve for what's not around any more. (And please nobody jump on me for being flippant with that observation! I know that the death of a loved one is so much more significant than homesickness.)
Not everyone experiences homesickness to the same degree. Nor is it triggered by set things (so a family party may not bother you, but a picture sent by a nephew might, for example) - so it's difficult to prepare for.
Personally, I find that I'm fine all week. But I get more peoplesick at weekends. Mainly because that's the routine we had at home; we'd spend weekends visiting family and friends and we can't do that now. So Mr GG and I try to combat it by planning things to do at weekends, to distract me.
Mind you, I've only been here a few months and am only in the early stages of culture shock, I think. Those who've been here longer are probably better placed to say how worse (or better?!) things get with time.
GG
Not everyone experiences homesickness to the same degree. Nor is it triggered by set things (so a family party may not bother you, but a picture sent by a nephew might, for example) - so it's difficult to prepare for.
Personally, I find that I'm fine all week. But I get more peoplesick at weekends. Mainly because that's the routine we had at home; we'd spend weekends visiting family and friends and we can't do that now. So Mr GG and I try to combat it by planning things to do at weekends, to distract me.
Mind you, I've only been here a few months and am only in the early stages of culture shock, I think. Those who've been here longer are probably better placed to say how worse (or better?!) things get with time.
GG
Jun 2nd 2005, 12:17 am
#19
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Scotland-Perth Jan 2005
Posts: 228
Re: Isolation/homesickness
Originally Posted by Margie
,Hi Ali,
Thank you for your post.
We are arriving in Perth 17.8.05.
My husband's brother and family are there, so I hope this will make the move easier.
I'm leaving an 84 year old mother behind and this is hard! She is upset, but says we are doing the right thing for our girls aged 6 and 9.
I hope with work and the children I will meet people, plus I'll try find and something new to do, night school, club or anything to get out and meet new friends.
Do you find the Perth people friendly?
Have your children settled?
I just want to get there, I think the last few weeks here will be the hardest.
Your comments have helped with peace of mind.
Thanks!
Margie
Thank you for your post.
We are arriving in Perth 17.8.05.
My husband's brother and family are there, so I hope this will make the move easier.
I'm leaving an 84 year old mother behind and this is hard! She is upset, but says we are doing the right thing for our girls aged 6 and 9.
I hope with work and the children I will meet people, plus I'll try find and something new to do, night school, club or anything to get out and meet new friends.
Do you find the Perth people friendly?
Have your children settled?
I just want to get there, I think the last few weeks here will be the hardest.
Your comments have helped with peace of mind.
Thanks!
Margie
I certainly do find Perth folk lovely. It can sometimes be a hassle if you go off to the local shops because everyone and his dog wants a chat.
My daughter has settled really well and has already picked up the accent. It was tough at first at school as I thought the school work pretty low grade but 4 months in I can see a lot more positives. She's gaining confidence and having a great outdoorsy life.
We have just bought a house and will have a garden for the first time.
You will meet folk through the kids school and there's loads of things to do.
Be prepared for a wonderful adventure. Let us know how you get on.
Our last weeks were tough but I can now laugh at the last day when I contracted diarrhoea and vomiting and only just made the flight.
Get your mum a phone card.
Lots of good wishes Ali
Jun 2nd 2005, 4:09 pm
#20
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Isolation/homesickness
The mention of feeling like someone has passed away to me was more like the feeling of not knowing if someone was still alive, the only way I can describe it is like say in WW2 when families were separated not knowing how they were or feeling. A very strange experience indeed.
The hardest thing is a phone call at a strange hour, you get the learching stomach feeling expecting bad news.
Or knowing that everyone you know and love in the UK are at a special event or birthday gathering and you are not. I felt very isolated then.
Christmases, luckily I was well oiled in the evening calling the UK in the morning, still had a bloody good cry though.
M
The hardest thing is a phone call at a strange hour, you get the learching stomach feeling expecting bad news.
Or knowing that everyone you know and love in the UK are at a special event or birthday gathering and you are not. I felt very isolated then.
Christmases, luckily I was well oiled in the evening calling the UK in the morning, still had a bloody good cry though.
M
Jul 18th 2005, 3:03 pm
#21
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: camp hill ,Brisbane
Posts: 61
Re: Isolation/homesickness
So glad I found this thread.I have been here since april ,came over because husband had to work awy from home most of the time.and the kids and I only saw him for about eight days a month.Now i have to deal with this homesickness or I should say people sickness I am really missing my family and two best friends. Have found people here freindly but does not get rid of that ache I have to see my family and friends.Does anyone know how to deal with it?Also a friend from home told me about a book that deals with yiur emotions when you have emigrated dont know author does anybody know the book?
Jul 18th 2005, 3:25 pm
#22
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,810
Re: Isolation/homesickness
No easy answer I'm afraid; the ache will probably get less as time goes on, simply because you will have other things to occupy you. I no longer feel the ache constantly, but when I get a photo by email, or realise its a birthday or something like that, the waves still rush over me, and thats after 18 months. Wish I could tell you differently, but I'm being honest. Some people never get homesick or "peoplesick". I never expected to, it was a shock when it hit me, but I am learning to live with it.
Don't know the book you ask about, but I remember finding this quite helpful, and scarily true -
=======================
Honeymoon Period
While preparing to relocate and during the first days or weeks in the new country, a person will experience a Honeymoon Period during which he or she will feel extreme joy and enthusiasm. Responding to the new environment with fascination, an individual will enjoy the differences in fashion, food, social customs, etc. This period is exhilarating, full of observation and discoveries, lasting a few days to a few weeks. Like most honeymoons, however, this stage eventually ends. "When an individual sets out to study, live or work in a new country, he or she will invariably experience difficulties with language, housing, friends, schoolwork..."
Rejection
The next phase of Culture Shock Syndrome is referred to as the period of Rejection. This stage is marked by criticism, resentment, and anger. When an individual sets out to study, live or work in a new country, he or she will invariably experience difficulties with language, housing, friends, schoolwork, and understanding the idiosyncrasies of the local culture, often resulting in frustration. The Rejection period can be triggered by the realization that, as an outsider in a new culture, language or misunderstandings of cultural cues can often make the simplest task seem like a daunting challenge. Furthermore, because the high expectations set during the Honeymoon Period appear much farther out of reach, the individual feels disillusioned.
Regression & Isolation
The extreme letdown experienced during the Rejection Period prompts the individual to become critical of his new environment--of the people, their culture, and of all the perceived differences with the culture at home. This letdown often propels an individual into the stage of Regression & Isolation. In this stage, the culture from which the individual has come is idealized. For example, an Italian student studying in the U.S. for a semester may indiscriminately view his Italian university, past experiences or friendships as superior, regardless of any problems inherent to those relationships. The student risks further isolation from the new environment. Symptoms exhibited during this period include anxiety, sadness, homesickness, and anger. These feelings manifest themselves in changes in behavior: inappropriate anger over slight delays and minor frustrations, changes in sleep patterns, compulsive eating and/or drinking, irritability, poor concentration, and unexplainable crying. The stage of Rejection and Regression is variable in length but can last up to 6-8 weeks.
Adjustment & Adaptation
Gradually the crisis of regression and isolation is resolved allowing the individual to begin recovery in the Adjustment & Adaptation stages. To resolve these feelings, the individual has to employ particular skills and resources essential for adjustment.
=============================
Its from an old, but interesting thread -
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=181996
Don't know the book you ask about, but I remember finding this quite helpful, and scarily true -
=======================
Honeymoon Period
While preparing to relocate and during the first days or weeks in the new country, a person will experience a Honeymoon Period during which he or she will feel extreme joy and enthusiasm. Responding to the new environment with fascination, an individual will enjoy the differences in fashion, food, social customs, etc. This period is exhilarating, full of observation and discoveries, lasting a few days to a few weeks. Like most honeymoons, however, this stage eventually ends. "When an individual sets out to study, live or work in a new country, he or she will invariably experience difficulties with language, housing, friends, schoolwork..."
Rejection
The next phase of Culture Shock Syndrome is referred to as the period of Rejection. This stage is marked by criticism, resentment, and anger. When an individual sets out to study, live or work in a new country, he or she will invariably experience difficulties with language, housing, friends, schoolwork, and understanding the idiosyncrasies of the local culture, often resulting in frustration. The Rejection period can be triggered by the realization that, as an outsider in a new culture, language or misunderstandings of cultural cues can often make the simplest task seem like a daunting challenge. Furthermore, because the high expectations set during the Honeymoon Period appear much farther out of reach, the individual feels disillusioned.
Regression & Isolation
The extreme letdown experienced during the Rejection Period prompts the individual to become critical of his new environment--of the people, their culture, and of all the perceived differences with the culture at home. This letdown often propels an individual into the stage of Regression & Isolation. In this stage, the culture from which the individual has come is idealized. For example, an Italian student studying in the U.S. for a semester may indiscriminately view his Italian university, past experiences or friendships as superior, regardless of any problems inherent to those relationships. The student risks further isolation from the new environment. Symptoms exhibited during this period include anxiety, sadness, homesickness, and anger. These feelings manifest themselves in changes in behavior: inappropriate anger over slight delays and minor frustrations, changes in sleep patterns, compulsive eating and/or drinking, irritability, poor concentration, and unexplainable crying. The stage of Rejection and Regression is variable in length but can last up to 6-8 weeks.
Adjustment & Adaptation
Gradually the crisis of regression and isolation is resolved allowing the individual to begin recovery in the Adjustment & Adaptation stages. To resolve these feelings, the individual has to employ particular skills and resources essential for adjustment.
=============================
Its from an old, but interesting thread -
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=181996
Jul 18th 2005, 6:01 pm
#23
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Isolation/homesickness
Originally Posted by Pollyana
No easy answer I'm afraid; the ache will probably get less as time goes on, simply because you will have other things to occupy you. I no longer feel the ache constantly, but when I get a photo by email, or realise its a birthday or something like that, the waves still rush over me, and thats after 18 months. Wish I could tell you differently, but I'm being honest. Some people never get homesick or "peoplesick". I never expected to, it was a shock when it hit me, but I am learning to live with it.
Don't know the book you ask about, but I remember finding this quite helpful, and scarily true -
=======================
Honeymoon Period
While preparing to relocate and during the first days or weeks in the new country, a person will experience a Honeymoon Period during which he or she will feel extreme joy and enthusiasm. Responding to the new environment with fascination, an individual will enjoy the differences in fashion, food, social customs, etc. This period is exhilarating, full of observation and discoveries, lasting a few days to a few weeks. Like most honeymoons, however, this stage eventually ends. "When an individual sets out to study, live or work in a new country, he or she will invariably experience difficulties with language, housing, friends, schoolwork..."
Rejection
The next phase of Culture Shock Syndrome is referred to as the period of Rejection. This stage is marked by criticism, resentment, and anger. When an individual sets out to study, live or work in a new country, he or she will invariably experience difficulties with language, housing, friends, schoolwork, and understanding the idiosyncrasies of the local culture, often resulting in frustration. The Rejection period can be triggered by the realization that, as an outsider in a new culture, language or misunderstandings of cultural cues can often make the simplest task seem like a daunting challenge. Furthermore, because the high expectations set during the Honeymoon Period appear much farther out of reach, the individual feels disillusioned.
Regression & Isolation
The extreme letdown experienced during the Rejection Period prompts the individual to become critical of his new environment--of the people, their culture, and of all the perceived differences with the culture at home. This letdown often propels an individual into the stage of Regression & Isolation. In this stage, the culture from which the individual has come is idealized. For example, an Italian student studying in the U.S. for a semester may indiscriminately view his Italian university, past experiences or friendships as superior, regardless of any problems inherent to those relationships. The student risks further isolation from the new environment. Symptoms exhibited during this period include anxiety, sadness, homesickness, and anger. These feelings manifest themselves in changes in behavior: inappropriate anger over slight delays and minor frustrations, changes in sleep patterns, compulsive eating and/or drinking, irritability, poor concentration, and unexplainable crying. The stage of Rejection and Regression is variable in length but can last up to 6-8 weeks.
Adjustment & Adaptation
Gradually the crisis of regression and isolation is resolved allowing the individual to begin recovery in the Adjustment & Adaptation stages. To resolve these feelings, the individual has to employ particular skills and resources essential for adjustment.
=============================
Its from an old, but interesting thread -
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=181996
Don't know the book you ask about, but I remember finding this quite helpful, and scarily true -
=======================
Honeymoon Period
While preparing to relocate and during the first days or weeks in the new country, a person will experience a Honeymoon Period during which he or she will feel extreme joy and enthusiasm. Responding to the new environment with fascination, an individual will enjoy the differences in fashion, food, social customs, etc. This period is exhilarating, full of observation and discoveries, lasting a few days to a few weeks. Like most honeymoons, however, this stage eventually ends. "When an individual sets out to study, live or work in a new country, he or she will invariably experience difficulties with language, housing, friends, schoolwork..."
Rejection
The next phase of Culture Shock Syndrome is referred to as the period of Rejection. This stage is marked by criticism, resentment, and anger. When an individual sets out to study, live or work in a new country, he or she will invariably experience difficulties with language, housing, friends, schoolwork, and understanding the idiosyncrasies of the local culture, often resulting in frustration. The Rejection period can be triggered by the realization that, as an outsider in a new culture, language or misunderstandings of cultural cues can often make the simplest task seem like a daunting challenge. Furthermore, because the high expectations set during the Honeymoon Period appear much farther out of reach, the individual feels disillusioned.
Regression & Isolation
The extreme letdown experienced during the Rejection Period prompts the individual to become critical of his new environment--of the people, their culture, and of all the perceived differences with the culture at home. This letdown often propels an individual into the stage of Regression & Isolation. In this stage, the culture from which the individual has come is idealized. For example, an Italian student studying in the U.S. for a semester may indiscriminately view his Italian university, past experiences or friendships as superior, regardless of any problems inherent to those relationships. The student risks further isolation from the new environment. Symptoms exhibited during this period include anxiety, sadness, homesickness, and anger. These feelings manifest themselves in changes in behavior: inappropriate anger over slight delays and minor frustrations, changes in sleep patterns, compulsive eating and/or drinking, irritability, poor concentration, and unexplainable crying. The stage of Rejection and Regression is variable in length but can last up to 6-8 weeks.
Adjustment & Adaptation
Gradually the crisis of regression and isolation is resolved allowing the individual to begin recovery in the Adjustment & Adaptation stages. To resolve these feelings, the individual has to employ particular skills and resources essential for adjustment.
=============================
Its from an old, but interesting thread -
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=181996
Jul 18th 2005, 8:39 pm
#24
home again, home again
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Notts to Perth, Perth to Notts
Posts: 1,748
Re: Isolation/homesickness
Garland,
With me the homesickeness seemed to swallow me up. I was consumed by it 24hrs a day, virtually. After 16 months I still felt the same.
Maybe some people can live with it or learn to live with it and maybe after time it does get better.
Hope it's right for you this time xx
With me the homesickeness seemed to swallow me up. I was consumed by it 24hrs a day, virtually. After 16 months I still felt the same.
Maybe some people can live with it or learn to live with it and maybe after time it does get better.
Hope it's right for you this time xx
Jul 19th 2005, 12:31 am
#25
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: camp hill ,Brisbane
Posts: 61
Re: Isolation/homesickness
[QUOTE=Pollyana]No easy answer I'm afraid; the ache will probably get less as time goes on, simply because you will have other things to occupy you. I no longer feel the ache constantly, but when I get a photo by email, or realise its a birthday or something like that, the waves still rush over me, and thats after 18 months. Wish I could tell you differently, but I'm being honest. Some people never get homesick or "peoplesick". I never expected to, it was a shock when it hit me, but I am learning to live with it.
Don't know the book you ask about, but I remember finding this quite helpful, and scarily true -
=======================
Honeymoon Period
While preparing to relocate and during the first days or weeks in the new country, a person will experience a Honeymoon Period during which he or she will feel extreme joy and enthusiasm. Responding to the new environment with fascination, an individual will enjoy the differences in fashion, food, social customs, etc. This period is exhilarating, full of observation and discoveries, lasting a few days to a few weeks. Like most honeymoons, however, this stage eventually ends. "When an individual sets out to study, live or work in a new country, he or she will invariably experience difficulties with language, housing, friends, schoolwork..."
Rejection
The next phase of Culture Shock Syndrome is referred to as the period of Rejection. This stage is marked by criticism, resentment, and anger. When an individual sets out to study, live or work in a new country, he or she will invariably experience difficulties with language, housing, friends, schoolwork, and understanding the idiosyncrasies of the local culture, often resulting in frustration. The Rejection period can be triggered by the realization that, as an outsider in a new culture, language or misunderstandings of cultural cues can often make the simplest task seem like a daunting challenge. Furthermore, because the high expectations set during the Honeymoon Period appear much farther out of reach, the individual feels disillusioned.
Regression & Isolation
The extreme letdown experienced during the Rejection Period prompts the individual to become critical of his new environment--of the people, their culture, and of all the perceived differences with the culture at home. This letdown often propels an individual into the stage of Regression & Isolation. In this stage, the culture from which the individual has come is idealized. For example, an Italian student studying in the U.S. for a semester may indiscriminately view his Italian university, past experiences or friendships as superior, regardless of any problems inherent to those relationships. The student risks further isolation from the new environment. Symptoms exhibited during this period include anxiety, sadness, homesickness, and anger. These feelings manifest themselves in changes in behavior: inappropriate anger over slight delays and minor frustrations, changes in sleep patterns, compulsive eating and/or drinking, irritability, poor concentration, and unexplainable crying. The stage of Rejection and Regression is variable in length but can last up to 6-8 weeks.
Adjustment & Adaptation
Gradually the crisis of regression and isolation is resolved allowing the individual to begin recovery in the Adjustment & Adaptation stages. To resolve these feelings, the individual has to employ particular skills and resources essential for adjustment.
========================
Thanks for your help. :scared: :scared:
Don't know the book you ask about, but I remember finding this quite helpful, and scarily true -
=======================
Honeymoon Period
While preparing to relocate and during the first days or weeks in the new country, a person will experience a Honeymoon Period during which he or she will feel extreme joy and enthusiasm. Responding to the new environment with fascination, an individual will enjoy the differences in fashion, food, social customs, etc. This period is exhilarating, full of observation and discoveries, lasting a few days to a few weeks. Like most honeymoons, however, this stage eventually ends. "When an individual sets out to study, live or work in a new country, he or she will invariably experience difficulties with language, housing, friends, schoolwork..."
Rejection
The next phase of Culture Shock Syndrome is referred to as the period of Rejection. This stage is marked by criticism, resentment, and anger. When an individual sets out to study, live or work in a new country, he or she will invariably experience difficulties with language, housing, friends, schoolwork, and understanding the idiosyncrasies of the local culture, often resulting in frustration. The Rejection period can be triggered by the realization that, as an outsider in a new culture, language or misunderstandings of cultural cues can often make the simplest task seem like a daunting challenge. Furthermore, because the high expectations set during the Honeymoon Period appear much farther out of reach, the individual feels disillusioned.
Regression & Isolation
The extreme letdown experienced during the Rejection Period prompts the individual to become critical of his new environment--of the people, their culture, and of all the perceived differences with the culture at home. This letdown often propels an individual into the stage of Regression & Isolation. In this stage, the culture from which the individual has come is idealized. For example, an Italian student studying in the U.S. for a semester may indiscriminately view his Italian university, past experiences or friendships as superior, regardless of any problems inherent to those relationships. The student risks further isolation from the new environment. Symptoms exhibited during this period include anxiety, sadness, homesickness, and anger. These feelings manifest themselves in changes in behavior: inappropriate anger over slight delays and minor frustrations, changes in sleep patterns, compulsive eating and/or drinking, irritability, poor concentration, and unexplainable crying. The stage of Rejection and Regression is variable in length but can last up to 6-8 weeks.
Adjustment & Adaptation
Gradually the crisis of regression and isolation is resolved allowing the individual to begin recovery in the Adjustment & Adaptation stages. To resolve these feelings, the individual has to employ particular skills and resources essential for adjustment.
========================
Thanks for your help. :scared: :scared:
Jul 19th 2005, 3:40 am
#26
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Western burbs, Melbourne
Posts: 2,260
Re: Isolation/homesickness
We were originally posted to Oz with my company, and were given a help folder, full of various bits of info.
It basically said that the first 6 months or so in a new country can be very traumatic and a lot of people will be desperate to return home in this period. It also said once you are over this difficult patch, things do not seem so hard, as you are getting used to life/developing friendships etc. After a year, you generally are far more settled.
Last year my sister moved from one part of UK to another, where she knew no-one but her partner. She felt really homesick for her old town, which was only 2 hours drive away. I asked her recently how she felt now - she had forgotten that overwhelming feeling!!!!
So it is not really where you are- just where you feel you are...if that makes sense!
It basically said that the first 6 months or so in a new country can be very traumatic and a lot of people will be desperate to return home in this period. It also said once you are over this difficult patch, things do not seem so hard, as you are getting used to life/developing friendships etc. After a year, you generally are far more settled.
Last year my sister moved from one part of UK to another, where she knew no-one but her partner. She felt really homesick for her old town, which was only 2 hours drive away. I asked her recently how she felt now - she had forgotten that overwhelming feeling!!!!
So it is not really where you are- just where you feel you are...if that makes sense!
Jul 19th 2005, 3:43 am
#27
Breeding little aussies
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Perth WA
Posts: 963
Re: Isolation/homesickness
Garland
Don't automatically assume you will suffer from homesickness, or peoplesickness, everyone is different. I, like Scossie haven't been homesick at all and the though of going back makes me feel all queesy
Even when my little boy was born i didn't feel it and i would have thought that would have been the one time i would. I keep in touch with family and old friends regularly by phone, emial and webcam, but..... my life is here now, my friends are here and i have some very, very good ones. My kids couldn't imagine living back in "the old country" again.
My husband had an email from an old mate yesterday, in it he asked if we'd be going back for a holiday this year.... my husband summed it up perfectly when he said why would i want to trade a few weeks of my time here, to go all the way back to somewhere i didn't like enough to live there.
Every one is different and i do feel for people who suffer severe homesickness, but i also believe a lot has to do with how you live your life here, don't look back, look forward, don't compare here with anywhere else, here is here and has it's goods and bads like everywhere. Find yourself a favourite spot, mine is the view of Perth from Kings Park or my local with the view of the marina, if you feel down go there with your best mate and talk about all the good things!!
Sorry i've rambled on too much (again).
Be positive
Lynn
Lynn
Don't automatically assume you will suffer from homesickness, or peoplesickness, everyone is different. I, like Scossie haven't been homesick at all and the though of going back makes me feel all queesy
Even when my little boy was born i didn't feel it and i would have thought that would have been the one time i would. I keep in touch with family and old friends regularly by phone, emial and webcam, but..... my life is here now, my friends are here and i have some very, very good ones. My kids couldn't imagine living back in "the old country" again.
My husband had an email from an old mate yesterday, in it he asked if we'd be going back for a holiday this year.... my husband summed it up perfectly when he said why would i want to trade a few weeks of my time here, to go all the way back to somewhere i didn't like enough to live there.
Every one is different and i do feel for people who suffer severe homesickness, but i also believe a lot has to do with how you live your life here, don't look back, look forward, don't compare here with anywhere else, here is here and has it's goods and bads like everywhere. Find yourself a favourite spot, mine is the view of Perth from Kings Park or my local with the view of the marina, if you feel down go there with your best mate and talk about all the good things!!
Sorry i've rambled on too much (again).
Be positive
Lynn
Lynn
Jul 19th 2005, 12:47 pm
#28
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: camp hill ,Brisbane
Posts: 61
Re: Isolation/homesickness
Sorry i've rambled on too much (again).
Be positive
Lynn
Lynn[/QUOTE]
Thanks for your advice at moment I think I am going through 2nd phase of culture shock.I know it has not been a long time but sometimes I would just love to go to my best friends in kirkintilloch and talk to her. 
Be positive
Lynn
Lynn[/QUOTE]
Thanks for your advice at moment I think I am going through 2nd phase of culture shock.I know it has not been a long time but sometimes I would just love to go to my best friends in kirkintilloch and talk to her.
Jul 19th 2005, 1:54 pm
#29
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,810
Re: Isolation/homesickness
Originally Posted by movetoperth.com
Garland
Don't automatically assume you will suffer from homesickness, or peoplesickness, everyone is different. I, like Scossie haven't been homesick at all and the though of going back makes me feel all queesy
Even when my little boy was born i didn't feel it and i would have thought that would have been the one time i would. I keep in touch with family and old friends regularly by phone, emial and webcam, but..... my life is here now, my friends are here and i have some very, very good ones. My kids couldn't imagine living back in "the old country" again.
My husband had an email from an old mate yesterday, in it he asked if we'd be going back for a holiday this year.... my husband summed it up perfectly when he said why would i want to trade a few weeks of my time here, to go all the way back to somewhere i didn't like enough to live there.
Every one is different and i do feel for people who suffer severe homesickness, but i also believe a lot has to do with how you live your life here, don't look back, look forward, don't compare here with anywhere else, here is here and has it's goods and bads like everywhere. Find yourself a favourite spot, mine is the view of Perth from Kings Park or my local with the view of the marina, if you feel down go there with your best mate and talk about all the good things!!
Sorry i've rambled on too much (again).
Be positive
Lynn
Lynn
Don't automatically assume you will suffer from homesickness, or peoplesickness, everyone is different. I, like Scossie haven't been homesick at all and the though of going back makes me feel all queesy
Even when my little boy was born i didn't feel it and i would have thought that would have been the one time i would. I keep in touch with family and old friends regularly by phone, emial and webcam, but..... my life is here now, my friends are here and i have some very, very good ones. My kids couldn't imagine living back in "the old country" again.
My husband had an email from an old mate yesterday, in it he asked if we'd be going back for a holiday this year.... my husband summed it up perfectly when he said why would i want to trade a few weeks of my time here, to go all the way back to somewhere i didn't like enough to live there.
Every one is different and i do feel for people who suffer severe homesickness, but i also believe a lot has to do with how you live your life here, don't look back, look forward, don't compare here with anywhere else, here is here and has it's goods and bads like everywhere. Find yourself a favourite spot, mine is the view of Perth from Kings Park or my local with the view of the marina, if you feel down go there with your best mate and talk about all the good things!!
Sorry i've rambled on too much (again).
Be positive
Lynn
Lynn
Homesickness - or peoplesickness - just snuck up on me, unexpectedly, and I think it is harder to deal with because I didn't expect it.
Jul 19th 2005, 2:38 pm
#30
Breeding little aussies
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Perth WA
Posts: 963
Re: Isolation/homesickness
Originally Posted by Pollyana
Very true Lynn, not everyone does suffer from it, and I am really envious of people who don't! I came here fully expecting to miss people, but never anticipating the heart-wrenching feelings I ended up with after about 4-5 months. I'd been to Aus several times, love the country (in spite of my whinging) and really intended to be happy here - and really tried; in fact I am still trying. I don't think i would describe myself as "happy" here at present, more as "settled and getting used to it".
Homesickness - or peoplesickness - just snuck up on me, unexpectedly, and I think it is harder to deal with because I didn't expect it.
Homesickness - or peoplesickness - just snuck up on me, unexpectedly, and I think it is harder to deal with because I didn't expect it.
nothing worse than something creeping up on you and biting you on the bum when you weren't expecting it.
Your situation is different though, you came here full of moving to be with the man of your dreams and wedding etc....... Most of us (if we were honest) would say that after all the stress of a wedding you come back down with a big bump, yours was just bigger because you had lots of stress all on top of each other. I'm really lucky, i have good friends back there but my bestest ones are here.
Have a good night out, get p*%""$d and remind yourself how good life is.
Do you recon i should do this professionally
Lynn
