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Isolation/homesickness

Isolation/homesickness

Old Jun 1st 2005, 5:42 am
  #1  
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Default Isolation/homesickness

I was just wondering if anyone about to move out to Oz had serious worries about the above? Do you think you have any concept now whilst at home of how those feeling may manifest themselves? Is it possible to prepare yourself for it?
It seems that those who have experienced it describe what a powerful and overwhelming, nightmare it is. That it really hit them and probably completely destroyed them being able to be happy in their new life.
So is there anyway you can "head it off" before you get there?
Hope this doesn't seem a stupid question, I'm just very interested in the whole before, during and after process!
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 5:49 am
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

Originally Posted by Garland
I was just wondering if anyone about to move out to Oz had serious worries about the above? Do you think you have any concept now whilst at home of how those feeling may manifest themselves? Is it possible to prepare yourself for it?
It seems that those who have experienced it describe what a powerful and overwhelming, nightmare it is. That it really hit them and probably completely destroyed them being able to be happy in their new life.
So is there anyway you can "head it off" before you get there?
Hope this doesn't seem a stupid question, I'm just very interested in the whole before, during and after process!
Hi Garland, we experienced 'homesickness' and no it's not fun. we could never truley put into words how we were feeling, no matter how many times we tried to explain it or to how many people. the words just didn't seem to sum it up.
some one on here put a thread on and it totally gives you the feelings and more impotantly, why you are feeling them. i have no idea how to put a link on so will just give you the address (hope its right, we printed it and am copying it from the bottom of the page)

http://edweb.sdsu.edu/people.CGuanipa/cultshok.htm

Louise

Hey, look at that, you just put it in and the old comp does the hard work. brilliant
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 5:49 am
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

I don't think you can prepare for it, just be aware that it will probably hit and be determined to try and beat it.
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 5:56 am
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

Originally Posted by Garland
I was just wondering if anyone about to move out to Oz had serious worries about the above? Do you think you have any concept now whilst at home of how those feeling may manifest themselves? Is it possible to prepare yourself for it?
It seems that those who have experienced it describe what a powerful and overwhelming, nightmare it is. That it really hit them and probably completely destroyed them being able to be happy in their new life.
So is there anyway you can "head it off" before you get there?
Hope this doesn't seem a stupid question, I'm just very interested in the whole before, during and after process!
I'm afraid there isn't any way to head it off. Even for me, as a Billy Two Mates the move to Billy No was a bit of a downer. The thing to do is to get out there, join clubs, get your own bar stool at the local pub, join the rural fire brigade, well at least thats what I keep telling myself. Missing the family back in the UK is inevitable, but its a wonder how phone and emails make them seem closer. You could of course pack them with your luggage and bring them with you

Cheers

Papa Z
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 6:32 am
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

Originally Posted by Garland
I was just wondering if anyone about to move out to Oz had serious worries about the above? Do you think you have any concept now whilst at home of how those feeling may manifest themselves? Is it possible to prepare yourself for it?
It seems that those who have experienced it describe what a powerful and overwhelming, nightmare it is. That it really hit them and probably completely destroyed them being able to be happy in their new life.
So is there anyway you can "head it off" before you get there?
Hope this doesn't seem a stupid question, I'm just very interested in the whole before, during and after process!
Have a read through the "Moving back to the UK" forum, as there are plenty of peeps on there - including myself - who feel homesick.

Its not just a one or 2 day thing either. For me - its been 3 months, which has felt like 3 years!! We have a webcam and so I see my parents every week, but it doesn't compensate for not being able to see them in the flesh. It depends how close you are to your family. I'm not really close to my parents - so I have been most surprised ay the depth of my feelings. I absolutely hate the fact that I cannot hop in the car and drive over and see them.

So be prepared.
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 8:18 am
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

I think the best explanation (comparison?) I've seen is that homesickness (or, more specifically, in my case at least, peoplesickness) is like grief. You grieve for what's not around any more. (And please nobody jump on me for being flippant with that observation! I know that the death of a loved one is so much more significant than homesickness.)

Not everyone experiences homesickness to the same degree. Nor is it triggered by set things (so a family party may not bother you, but a picture sent by a nephew might, for example) - so it's difficult to prepare for.

Personally, I find that I'm fine all week. But I get more peoplesick at weekends. Mainly because that's the routine we had at home; we'd spend weekends visiting family and friends and we can't do that now. So Mr GG and I try to combat it by planning things to do at weekends, to distract me.

Mind you, I've only been here a few months and am only in the early stages of culture shock, I think. Those who've been here longer are probably better placed to say how worse (or better?!) things get with time.

GG

Originally Posted by Garland
I was just wondering if anyone about to move out to Oz had serious worries about the above? Do you think you have any concept now whilst at home of how those feeling may manifest themselves? Is it possible to prepare yourself for it?
It seems that those who have experienced it describe what a powerful and overwhelming, nightmare it is. That it really hit them and probably completely destroyed them being able to be happy in their new life.
So is there anyway you can "head it off" before you get there?
Hope this doesn't seem a stupid question, I'm just very interested in the whole before, during and after process!
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 8:30 am
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

I have been here for almost 5 months now and never had one bit of "homesickness" yet, and dont think I will.

I cried buckets when I left England, but we just took this as a new adventure and accepted things would be different, maybe somethings better and some things worse...... but we thought of it more as a mission to live in Aus for 4 years, get our Citizanship and then decide weather to stay here or go back to england...........

I have read lots of posts here about people feeling homesick, and even that doesnt make me feel homesick. Admitidley I do miss my folks and havin my mates around, but I talk to them probably more now than I did back in England, as we all make more of an effort.

As for the place, i dont miss England at all, when I look at old photos and watch old home movies with my old house on it etc....I think "oh my little house.........." but thats about it, I feel "curious" about whats happening there and what my house looks like now, etc....but thats about all.....

I wouldnt worry about it, there are lots of Poms over here who dont feel homesick either, why start worrying about it now, before you have even arrived?
Hope this helps a bit
Good luck with your move

laura
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 8:33 am
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

I have moved quite a lot in my life - born in the UK, moved to and grew up in south Africa, moved back to the UK 8 years ago - so one would think that moving to Australia would be an easy one for me to make. However, this time I am leaving my mum behind who I am incredibly close to and the actual vision of leaving day is so overwhelming, I just have to block it from my mind.

I try not to think of being homesick. I am consciously thinking that we are embarking on a new life and will embrace all the newness that Australia has to offer and not hanker after all that we will have left behind in the UK. My mum and I constantly talk about her visiting and I am even trying to press her for an actual date, so when we leave, it won't feel like we don't know when we are going to see each other again.

I think a bit of homesickness is inevitable, but we need to try and remember why we left in the first place and the enormous effort we went through to get there. We did not go through all that on a whim, we believed that Australia would offer us a better lifestyle and we have to make that happen.

Good luck with it all

Sarah
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 8:34 am
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

Originally Posted by Garland
It seems that those who have experienced it describe what a powerful and overwhelming, nightmare it is. That it really hit them and probably completely destroyed them being able to be happy in their new life.
Hi Garland.

I think the 2 sentences I've quoted above from your post are a bit strong.

Personally, I've never been homesick. Not for a minute, & I've got loads of friends & family back in Scotland.
Maybe I'm going against the grain of the other replies you've had, but I can honestly say that we love it here, and unless there's some kind of family crisis, I don't see us even contemplating going over to Scotland in the next 10 years! (We've been here for 2 years).

It's really cheap to phone The UK now from Oz, & we speak to friends & family over there fairly often. It's more likely that they'll be over here to see us first.
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 2:47 pm
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

Originally Posted by Geordie George
I think the best explanation (comparison?) I've seen is that homesickness (or, more specifically, in my case at least, peoplesickness) is like grief. You grieve for what's not around any more. (And please nobody jump on me for being flippant with that observation! I know that the death of a loved one is so much more significant than homesickness.)

GG
Sweet of you to be sensitive about the grief of bereaved people, though I see no need for you to qualify what you said and almost disacknowledge/undermine the feelings behind the first sentence of your post.

Missing is missing.
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 2:55 pm
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

Originally Posted by Garland
I was just wondering if anyone about to move out to Oz had serious worries about the above? Do you think you have any concept now whilst at home of how those feeling may manifest themselves? Is it possible to prepare yourself for it?
It seems that those who have experienced it describe what a powerful and overwhelming, nightmare it is. That it really hit them and probably completely destroyed them being able to be happy in their new life.
So is there anyway you can "head it off" before you get there?
Hope this doesn't seem a stupid question, I'm just very interested in the whole before, during and after process!
Everyone, it seems to me from reading these posts this last month, reacts differently. Here's what I would say to you: Whatever happens for you, acknowledge your feelings, let them "feel themselves out" and don't push them down. Seek the company of folks who will support and acknowledge you too (folks like us here, as well) and don't take any **** from anyone who ISN'T standing in your shoes, trying to tell you to get over it. I didn't feel in the least bit homesick, it was one big adventure and a fresh start, goodbye to all that sort of situation. It wasn't until I'd been here about 15 years I started to realise I was missing some things. More nostalgia and craving for the heritage/culture/proximity of Europe than anything. Nostalgia for my younger years too - my thirties actually, best years I reckon. All the best for your Big Adventure. You'll never never know, if you never never go.
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 3:14 pm
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

Originally Posted by Garland
I was just wondering if anyone about to move out to Oz had serious worries about the above? Do you think you have any concept now whilst at home of how those feeling may manifest themselves? Is it possible to prepare yourself for it?
It seems that those who have experienced it describe what a powerful and overwhelming, nightmare it is. That it really hit them and probably completely destroyed them being able to be happy in their new life.
So is there anyway you can "head it off" before you get there?
Hope this doesn't seem a stupid question, I'm just very interested in the whole before, during and after process!
I think a lot is down to adopting a really positive attitude.
You can fend off homesickness by keeping busy and working to build a support network of new friends. We have no family in Oz and are working hard to do this. It was tough leaving behind friends who had known us for years and known our daughter since she was a baby but I have to say that we have found it so easy to meet people and socialise here. The folk are just so open and welcoming. I initially made "friends" with the lady in the coffee shop. It helped that I had somewhere welcoming I could go if I felt at a loose end and it stopped me being home alone while my husband was at work.

I know it would have been an impossible move if my mum had still been around. My husbands parents are both alive but although he loves them dearly he can be away from them without a feeling of homesickness or guilt. I think it must be hard for those with elderly parents in the UK. I wonder if this is one of the main reasons for folk returning to the UK?

For me, 4 months in, I can say I have no regrets at moving. I have days when I am blue and am frustrated by things not going well.
I find this forum invaluable for cheering me up and offering support. It really does helps just knowing there are others out there that are going through similar things.

So IMO you need cheap phone cards- for the times you really need to chat and have a laugh with friends and family
-or Skype for computer phone calls
- this forum for anonymous silly questions!
-ideally the air fare home just in case
-a sense of adventure and humour

Good luck Ali
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 3:23 pm
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

Originally Posted by TopCat3
Everyone, it seems to me from reading these posts this last month, reacts differently. Here's what I would say to you: Whatever happens for you, acknowledge your feelings, let them "feel themselves out" and don't push them down. Seek the company of folks who will support and acknowledge you too (folks like us here, as well) and don't take any **** from anyone who ISN'T standing in your shoes, trying to tell you to get over it. I didn't feel in the least bit homesick, it was one big adventure and a fresh start, goodbye to all that sort of situation. It wasn't until I'd been here about 15 years I started to realise I was missing some things. More nostalgia and craving for the heritage/culture/proximity of Europe than anything. Nostalgia for my younger years too - my thirties actually, best years I reckon. All the best for your Big Adventure. You'll never never know, if you never never go.
I think this is a really good post, because it sums it up in a nutshell really.

When I went to Aus in the mid 90s on a working holiday, I was overwhelmed by homesickness in a way that completely prevented me from really appreciating what Aus had to offer. I found myself missing things I never even thought about when I was in the UK, and I had to come back after just 5 months of my year's visa.

Now I'm generally an adaptable individual, but I found Aus far more alien then I could have even imagined and simply couldn't deal with a lot of stuff when I was there. An extreme reaction perhaps, but one I've never had before or since; it came completely out of the blue. I've been to different parts of Africa, south East Asia and Central America and hardly ever found myself as out of place as I did in Aus; I just can't explain it.

So be prepared for it; you may not get homesick, but if you do, as others say, weather the storm, as I think you may regret it if you pack up and come back to the UK without giving it a damn good try first.

Good luck!
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 4:10 pm
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

Originally Posted by tonyk38
I think this is a really good post, because it sums it up in a nutshell really.

When I went to Aus in the mid 90s on a working holiday, I was overwhelmed by homesickness in a way that completely prevented me from really appreciating what Aus had to offer. I found myself missing things I never even thought about when I was in the UK, and I had to come back after just 5 months of my year's visa.

Now I'm generally an adaptable individual, but I found Aus far more alien then I could have even imagined and simply couldn't deal with a lot of stuff when I was there. An extreme reaction perhaps, but one I've never had before or since; it came completely out of the blue. I've been to different parts of Africa, south East Asia and Central America and hardly ever found myself as out of place as I did in Aus; I just can't explain it.

So be prepared for it; you may not get homesick, but if you do, as others say, weather the storm, as I think you may regret it if you pack up and come back to the UK without giving it a damn good try first.

Good luck!
I might just add that I've invented a new conditon to describe the way I feel and I've called it Complex Emotions Syndrome!

I can't look at the world in a black-white, good-bad way. I often find a simple question posed to me gets a five minute answer! I just can't describe the way I feel about stuff in simple terms and it's getting worse!

I'm under a great deal of stress with the morons and feckwits on my nursing course right now, for whom nastiness is as natural as breathing, so I guess that informs the emotional fruit salad that I am these days...

Maybe this is what it's like to have a mid-life crisis....
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Old Jun 1st 2005, 6:11 pm
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Default Re: Isolation/homesickness

I was uksick while i lived in oz, still had a great time while there and nothing went bad for us. Been back in uk for over a decade now and wanted to return for most of that time to oz. Now heading back when we get the visa.
I miss loads about oz lifestyle etc and know i will miss stuff about the uk again.
But for me oz is the place
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