[QUOTE=daisydaydream]Hi Michelle,

I do agree with you to a certain extent, If I could drag her there kicking and screaming I would. BUT it would be kicking and screaming. :scared:

She is nearly 17 and is legally entitled to leave home " if she chooses to, or stay in this country if that is her choice and my parents have expanded that choice as they dont really agree with what I am doing and rather than backing me and explaining that it would be a great experience for her , they have undermined our choice of migration and said that eldest daughter can stay with them, yet in the next breath they have said " They dont really want the responsibility". So my head is spinning with it all at the moment.

Hmm. Okay, taking her to OZ 'kicking and screaming, is definitely NOT a good idea.
Your parents haven't 'underminded' you provided they meant what they said. You may think it's a great opportunity for ehr, but your parents and daughter may think otherwise.

You may need to discuss with them ways in which their feeling of responsibility could be reduced, so they don't feel they take on more than they can chew. Perhaps you could say to them that you only expect them to house and feed her if she stays and that you will help financially as you are able to, and that at 17 she is more or less an adult and needs minimum rules.

Rules for teenagers are often best negotiated anyway and explained why they are important, what real concerns, reasons for them are. Teens are much more likely to comply if they feel these thigns are hoenstly explained to them and that they have some power of negotiation in some areas.

Your parents also need to realise that you feel you need to make this choice and why, even though you are an adult and they may still not understand.

You also need to let them know how much you appreciate their help and how you would be concerned if she had no stable home or ran away due to feeling she had no say in her life or hated being in oz. Explain too that she can always apply to live on campus once she applies to university (she may need to list personal reasons to get preferential status).

Another thought: does she have a really good friend whose parents you could approach and explain the situation to and perhaps 'board' her with them?

hi, not that i am much help, but to let you know you are not alone with this problem, my 18yr son and 17 yr son are refusing to come with us, dont know what to say but can sympathise and empathise with you. friends and family tell us not to worry and that nearer the time they will change their minds, if not within a few weeks they will be asking for tickets to come. i am not convinced they will change their minds. no i dont think we are awful parents, because we care what happens and also we are trying to make the best decision possible for the whole family. hang on in there ...... good luck as i know its an emotional journey

have replied earlier on, have same problem with 2 of mine, eldest is doing an apprenticeship here which he wants to continue with, i have tried contacting electrical companies in australia and so far they seem unwilling to take someone on who has already started their apprenticeship. can you please let me know where you went for help, many thanks.

our son works for mercedes and there are 3 in Perth they are happy form him to do a transfer. I don't really know who you could contact for electrical, I understood from our family in Perth electrical engineers were badly needed and apprentices were badly needed, but I don't know about other areas of oz

hubby has just found this site, hope it helps
http://jobs.careerone.com.au/js.php?...pprentice;bs=1

hi, i really feel for you. i have a 17 year old son (only child) who would be on the plane to OZ tomorrow if he could, he really is desperate for a new start. i could not go if if he was to stay in the UK. i know he is an adult now but they are always your children whatever age. could you not suggest that it be a 1 year trial and if i doesn't work out you will come back? maybe that way it will give you all the chance to see if it is the life for you. Selina xxx

Hi All,

Thanks for the advice and kind words of support. We have had long detailed and sometimes heated discussions this weekend with our eldest and also my parents. Eldest has finally said she will at least try it and validate her visa "as and when we get them". So for now its stalemate but its a step in the right direction, at least the door isn't closed completely. I'm sure there will be a lot of discussions between now and when we go but I think she finally understands the reason why we think its a good move for all of us. I think the top of bottom of it was she is scared which is understandable but she also knows that we will be there to support each other every step of the way and if its not for her then we will understand but at least she has tried it.

I think deep down she wont admit it "shes a stubborn teenager" she really is quite excited about it all.

So fingers crossed, just have to get through the visa process now and sort out what is happening with work or am I going with my migration agent. "oh the joys" but it will be worth it in the end I'm confident of that.

thanks again

XXXX

This is good news DD. At least she is willing to "try" Oz out. I'm sure in time, once she has made the effort to meet new people, she will settle down there.
Where are you moving to? If it's anywhere near the Gold Coast, we could put your daughter and mine in touch with each other.
Julie. x

Hi Julie,

We are going to Melbourne Victoria with a bit of luck, patience, fingers crossed, and once the pain of filling in forms, and RPL's is done we can enjoy our new life......

X

Good Luck