Yeah i got caught out on that one too. You learn fast though don't you. Well you have to or get skint fast.

Glad I've seen this thread, I think it's just saved me a lot of cash!

Has anyone yet been invited to a barbecue and asked to bring their own meat, grog, salads to share, and some extra chairs - I mean FFS!

I think that's quite normal downunder in NZ and Oz, and is the reason people mix so much informally and feel they can just drop in, or invite someone over on impulse. I think it's a good idea.

If we're invited to a Barbie I always ask what we can bring. You take meat for granted, but sometimes we take a salad or nibbles too and always take grog, although we usually put in to a pool be shared and don't take it home, but friends of ours arrive with an esky and take it home with them. Even if someone says not to bring anything we always do. I've only ever been asked to bring extra glasses or chairs by a very close friend, but what's the problem. If there's a large gathering, not everyone has enough seats.

As far as rounds, it's not the norm but there's nothing to stop you. I agree though that they may assume you're being generous but not feel the need to reciprocate, especially if you're with a large group. If you're celebrating, there might be a tab at the bar, but once it runs out you buy your own. If we're with just one other couple we might take turns to buy the drinks, but often you don't always want to keep pace anyway, so we usually just create our own tab at the bar and top up when we're ready.

I just think your friends are tight. All the Aussies I know buy full rounds for everyone. Same as the UK, SA etc.

Same here. Different circles of friends too - not just blokes-only nights out down the pub, but couples and kids too. In fact the other week we went to the pub to watch the NZ/Oz rugby and there were Poms, kiwis, safas and aussies at our table and everyone got a round in. Now I think about it, a couple of the kiwis did bring their own meat pies and eat 'em in the restaurant in full view of the waiting/bar staff, which didn't go down too well.

I think you're right, hence the night out in Surfers with them last week got the elbow! ...

Often people will buy each other drinks and then reciprocate (maybe next time you meet if not at the time) but their is no counting as such, less rounds.

Often people bring their own beer but leave it behind in your fridge. Often it seems good manners to leave a couple for next time- but you can drink the balance say. Not a bad idea. Almost rude to count amongst friends.

Yeah i got told to bring a plate. Wasn't sure what they meant so i turned up with nothing
Anyway, most BBQ's i went to were English people, who supplied everything, just like we used to do back in UK. If they brought anything extra then that was fine, but we used to supply all food and drinks, no probs.

now come on! surely youve been here long enough to realize how tight the aussies are.Why do you think there are so many eat as much as you like places.So aussies only need to eay once a week!!!!!!

I'm an Aussie and it's quite typical to do both, but generally the larger the group the more likely you would buy your own drinks. If with just a few people, then it's more common to buy a round. But I'm with the poster who only drinks soft drink or water and you end up paying for your friends $15 cocktails...that bothers me a lot, so I think that's why it's very acceptable to buy your own. Of course, people who drink the most or drink expensive drinks always love it when others buy rounds, or putting drinks on the restaurant tab and wanting to split the bill....grrrrrr, that REALLY bothers me. OP, you said it happened "soooooo many times", perhaps you could have taken that as a hint... I also think your friends are stingy, if someone buys me a round I would definitely return the favour.

As for bringing your own drinks, salads, chairs etc to a party, that's very common, especially if it's just a get together and not a celebration like birthday, and especially bringing your own meat for a BBQ...meat is expensive and a lot of people like a certain "cut"...but make sure you watch it being cooked or your expensive cut of meat will vanish onto another's plate! It's also very acceptable for those bringing eskies to take what is left home, that's not considered rude at all. And usually they will share their drinks too. However if you bring a few bottles of drink and put them on a table/fridge for everyone to share, then you normally wouldn't take them home.

And "bringing a plate" means you bring a plate of food of your choice unless the hostess is specific ie entree, salad, dessert etc. If in doubt, just ask your hostess what the norm is for that occasion.

BBQ = as explained to us by aussie mate - you go to so many of these that if you took a case of beer to each one you would be a pauper, you take your esky full of what you anticipate you will drink, most aussies will take their leftovers home. meat/food - these gatherings can run into really high numbers so to keep costs even everyone takes along something - it is polite to ask what to take and you'll usually be asked to supply potato salad/greens/puddings etc, if your not asked to bring anything then you should take some meats to share.
I personally think its a fab way of doing it.
One lot of aussies who's we go to regularly give us our uneaten food back despite our protests! or share out whats left between whoever is there...

Our neighbour always leaves his leftover beer - we dont touch them, just keep them chilled cos we know hel be round again soon, and visa versa with koh's beer or my wine in their fridge.

The 'average' aussie isnt on a massive salary so all digging in together so everyone can have a good time/get out/socialise is a nice thing - not a cheap thing.

Buying rounds i cant really comment as the aussies weve been out to pubs with either originate from the uk or have uk other halves, we all seem to go it alone though, no rounds, cept on bottles of wine for ladies...we take in turns either during the night or the next time we meet up.

I dont ever recall buying rounds in mixed company in the UK, only out with the blokes.

I would openly discuss it, if I was the OP. The larger the grouping the more the round buying will become uneven.

BTW Paul did anyone say when you offered to buy the drinks, "I'll get my own" and you insisted on buying them one, because I dont think I'd like to be put in a situation where someone else dictated the terms of the nights drinking.

Certainly didn't the last time.

We entered the place, I asked what everyone wanted and they just said, thanked me and on we go. It's just they got themselves a drink straight after and didn't offer! ...lol. They went on to take drinks, but only buy there own, especially when we sneaked out for a ciggie! ...

The more I think about it, I just think they were tight! Not 'aussie' tight, but just pure plain tight!

Prob off the xmas card list cos of it!

How long have you known these people ?

Reason I ask, is even in the UK, if I came across a group of people I was invited out to, I doubt if I would be offering to buy a whole lot of seated people a round of drinks. I've been out of the UK a long while, would that kind of thing be considered normal ? I'd be sussing out the lie of the land first.

Again out with a bunch of blokes in my book is different.

I'm pretty sure I'm still stuck with single bloke mentality when it comes to UK round buying, only because I've basically known life with a partner in Aus... obviously no single people at this table ?