indiebird

Hmmmm it is the same here too for the media Patty! I understand that grammar is important to some extent but I don't understand why they need to learn all the nuts and bolts of Italian. Are there not many great books written in Italian and many opportunities to help our kids grow by means of creative writing etc? Learning by doing and interacting rather than by dry grammar lessons that don't really have any bearing on real life.

This is one of the problems I think we're having. My son has got no idea where to start with this stuff and have said and said and said that this is something we do struggle with as we do not do this in the UK at school and was there anything we could do to help him catch up, but the teachers come back with nothing. I'm wondering if I have somehow crossed the parent/ teacher boundary by doing this. When my son started school in the UK he was given a book bag, and each week on a friday he came home with a reading book and in the first year a list of words that he needed to learn how to read. when they get to year 3, it is a reading book and a list of spellings to learn for the famous spelling test on the next friday. However, when I went to the meeting with the teachers for my daughter starting this year the teachers said something about their homework being their homework and we mustn't do it for them or they won't learn. At the time i thought this literally meant doing it for them but now I'm wondering if they mean help them in any way, shape or form.As a parent I suppose I always have looked at it as part of my job to support my kids and give them the benefit of my knowledge and experience but maybe here things are done very differently and when you hand them over at the school gates you hand over their responsibility for their education.

Lorna at Vicenza

It's hard to work out what they mean sometimes.
At Chloe's school the parents were always told to check the kids' homework and make sure they get it done and to check all the quaderni to make sure they were keeping them neat and tidy.

I don't supervise Chloe much anymore as she generally knows what she has to get on with but she does come and ask for help sometimes. She had to use a list of 10 words in 10 sentences the other day. They were all "gli" or "gl" words. I had to look up "glicine" for her as I didn't have a clue what it means. I know now it's plant (never have had very green fingers). Chloe is of course Italian though and I think the school in your son's case could be more helpful. Her teachers don't expect me to know everything to be able to help her, they all know I'm not Italian and they all know by now that her dad is away a lot. They don't know that he'd probably be less help than I am

Last year she started to do long division. The workings out were done in a way that I could not make head nor tale of as there was a multiplication in the middle of them. She couldn't remember either as they'd only started that morning. I told her to just leave it all. She cried and said she'd get into trouble - so I told her I'd write a note to the maths teacher to explain that I couldn't help her as I didn't have a clue about those kind of workings out. I actually bumped into the maths teacher after school that day and she was fine about everything and said it was all new for the kids and that a lot of systems have changed since she was at school too and she has had to brush up on new stuff. She just said that they'd keep practiscing in class together until the kids got the gist of it.

37100

Indiebird, I really feel for you over this issue. For what it's worth, I think you need to back off a bit and stop writing notes. Sometimes a tiny slip in Italian can cause a serious mis-understandings and it hasn't work so far so I doubt it ever will. I think I'd ask for a meeting with the teachers. If they want, they will get the preside involved and if things don't improve you can then go to the preside. Start the meeting by saying something like what a wonderful opportunity you and your kids have been given to live in a beautiful country with an amazing culture and wonderful schools, but now that you're beginning to get the grasp of Italian you might have been misunderstood. then go on to explain your problems. Make it clear that they are your problems not them and make sure they get a thank for the extra effort they put in with your kids. I know it's not what you want to hear (read) or do, but you have to get your kids through school for the next 2 yrs with serenity.
Italian schools function differently from u.k ones. Spelling test come lower than grammar because Italian is phonetic. So, once kids get the alphabet they can spell. The grammar is needed to get you through high school. Your kids will not be going, but the others will.
They school system is hard work for parents, even Italians. Give yourself a big pat on the back (or a large glass of wine) for how far you've managed to come alone (you could also remind the teachers -gently- that you have no family back-up). As for fathers. The only advice my oh every gave was to take a tranquilizer before going to meetings. When he finally decided that it was just me he went to ONE meeting, came home furious saying he was never going again.

indiebird

Thanks for all the advice. They have written a note today saying that they didn't mean to offend but they do not want me to help in any form at all. If he doesn't do it, he doesn't do it but they will deal with it then. I kinda think it's a cultural issue and after to speaking to my oh tonight we have agreed to do it their way and play it by ear. There is another mum in the class who is german, married to an italian and I saw her after school and it seems she's had the same problem and her daughter got the same note after she and her older son helped with the summer homework. She has a more chilled approach than me and told me that the teachers have a problem with feeling that we support our kids over the teachers, but this is a general italian thing to do with their problems with authority and so peeps like us take it to heart cos we think we follow the rules and then get upset when we still get told off..... she may have a point.

We've had a long chat with aforementioned son about the need to take responsibility for things himself and the fact that I won't be chasing him up about things. There will be set homework time etc but it will be down to him to make sure he understands things and to go to people for help before things become a big problem. My oh feels that he takes advantage of how I react to things and uses it as an excuse to be lazy and get me to do things on his behalf. Typical bloke then!!

I feel a bit more philosophical. The biggest problem I have is finding something for me to do myself!! Hopefully then I will be too busy to spend all day worrying about things I realistically have no control over.... Thanks again everyone for the advice and support. It has actually been really helpfulxxx

indiebird

Am off out for a walk and a coffee with my Italian friend today. Am feeling much better after a good nights sleep. I really do want to thank you all for the wise words and the support. I have looked around at the other expat sites and I still only feel comfortable posting here, so I just want you all to know what a fab job I think you all do of helping out peeps and making them feel quickly at ease.

PAT M

Glad you're feeling better indiebird, keep on keeping on, the kids will thank you one day when they are fluent in both languages. Take everything with a pinch of salt here, we could get annoyed several times a day with the system here but it's not worth it. We had to go to the Carabinieri for a "denuncia" report to close a post office account, we had burned an old cheque book, when we took the denuncia back to the post office direttore he said the Carabinieri hadn't typed out the denuncia correctly so we had to sign and STAMP ( they love those Timbri ) his own declaration. One day I would love to "timbrare" someone's forehead ever so gently though.

sands

Good morning all. Firstly I just want to say how pleased I am Indiebird's problem is sorted. Not having children myself, I can still see some of the extra responsibities/challenges that come with dealing with a different culture.

Now a question, please. Would you think this is the best site for trying to make new contacts? I've decided I've spent far too long working from home and not enough time making friends! Where we live is also a bit out of the way - Massa-Carrara region, but you never know! In fact last year there were a few people floating around who may still be here and of course I'm enjoying all the people I've met on here, but I'd also like to meet up with folk for 'real'! Any ideas, or can you think of another site more specific than this one, even though this is a great one! Thanks

duffer

adultfriendfinder

Lorna at Vicenza

Knowing you, and if I were Sands, I wouldn't even bother to check that site out.

I bet it is some kind of dating website or find sex partners or something similar !!!!

TestaRossa

Get on Fb! A few of us are on there that you know plus you can do searches by area now and there are specific pages dedicated to clubs, areas of the world etc.

If you set up a blog thru blogger you can also search for people with blogs I'm your area and by interests - find a few you like and start commenting! From that you will start some kind of dialogue with the blogger.

Isn't your fella navy? Are there no clubs or associations? Also is there a synagogue? If nothing else your knowledge may improve - the one here has a museum and a thriving cultural community around it. Lastly is there an Anglo church? It's where I have met most of my friends here, Italian and English speaking! HTH

indiebird

Me too!!! But they would probably charge you €6 per stamp wouldn't they!!?? I never knew ink was so expensive til we moved here!!

I am back from coffee and a nice walk with my friend and her adorable son who seems to like me chattering away in English to him. Got to go and face the supermercato this afternoon. Oh the joys of being a mum and provider eh!!??

I haven't met any 'real' people from here but then i am in not such a desirable/ normal place for British settlers really. I need to head down to Torino probably and seek them out. I would think there should be some peeps about La Spezia way though shouldn't there?? We haven't been that far down yet but it is one of the places on my list..... we MUST do more travelling about this year and making the most of Italy... might not get the opportunity once we go back.

indiebird

I am on fb: are you under your real name TR or TR?? I have just started a blogger blog but hadn't thought about searching for other blogs!! My oh isn't military at all but he does work for a defence company but not a large one. hmmmm not sure about the churchy thing either. I was thinking though, there is an open day at the local palestra here on sunday, I thought i might go along and enquire into yoga or pilates or something. A) I could do with getting fitter and B) it might help with my italian and show that I am commited to being here in this area and trying to fit in. Maybe I'm going about this in the wrong way trying to seek out English peeps.....

sands

Wow, thanks for all the suggestions! Firstly, I'll go on the website that Duffer recommended but I have to wait till my hubby's not here ONLY joking! Thanks TestaRossa, my nearest synagogue is in Livorno, which is a town I'd really like to live in! I'm on fb already so maybe I can hunt through it for likeminded people. I don't have a clue how to set up my own blog, though. My facebook account is under my Italian name Sandra Tortorella. Come and join me My hubby doesn't have many close navy friends, most of his friends are English speaking ones up in Bordighera where the house is. Many thanks!

TestaRossa

Sands - how long does it take you to get to Livorno? It's somewhere I keep wanting to visit but no-one else in the family is interested! Maybe we could meet up one day? Probably best for me at weekend but maybe not for you? Let me know! I'll look for you on fb too.

sands

Actually the weekend is perfect for me as the oh is quite happy to drive me anywhere as I don't have a car myself (and only drive an automatic anyway) so let's think about that as a plan sometime, if you like!