brits1

Hi, are you relocating near Manchester? what a great Christmas present...hope you have a wonderful Christams and New Year.....

mcmorrow1

Yes finally leaving heading home to Blackburn,Lancs.saying goodbye to the sun,but thats about it.

brits1

Some lovely areas around Blackburn, the North Lancs towns and villages can be lovely with great countryside...that's better than just having the sun and not much else....

S E A N

I went to Perth for a visit and omg

Yes it's "pretty" but I just didn't know what to do!

I love Melbourne. It's so diverse and there is always shit happening - bloody hate when they close st Kilda road but still it's nice that things are always happening.

midgetjan

Quick update:

Parents sulking cause I won't "jump" to attention like I used to. They think I should resume my position of slave.

I'm tired and trying to sort out more permanent housing, jobs, dentists, doctors, vehicles etc. Meantime they have been treating me like a second class citizen because I won't go visiting on a daily basis.

Dad collapsed drunk in the street on Tuesday, had a heart attack and was admitted to hospital. He had a pig's heart valve fitted in June and has continued to abuse his body and not follow doctor's advice.

No one called me to let me know as they have sent me to Coventry (not literally as I'm still in Aberdeen). I'm tired of their silly games. When I came home from Australia my parents were too busy to see me for 3 days and then when I drove out to their place, I held my arms out and said "Did you miss me Dad?" and he replied "Did I fk?" then he walked away.

I came back because I missed my kids and my "Home". I don't regret it but I didn't miss the family sh*t.

Ah well - life goes on.....

Merry Christmas xx

Mummy in the foothills

Awww I'm sorry your family are acting like butts.
Have a really nice Christmas and carve out your own little piece of Scotland your you and the kids.

brits1

Oh Jan...there is a saying............You cannot pick your family etc...what is important and you have learnt that mainly by being overseas is that your immediate family is the most important and anything else is a bonus....your having to do the hard work finding the docs etc all over again...it was horrible having to do that when we arrived in Aus and not looking forward to it once we get back home but once that's done it's done....you have done your duty and visited your parents...you now know you are a much stronger person and don't have to put up with their attitude so don't....not a nice situation but in this day and age most families have "things in their wardrobes" so to speak.....Christmas can be a stressful time as well so just try and take one day at a time....leave a lot of things if you can until the new year and try not to rush into looking for a permanent home...take your time if you can and make sure it's the right area for you and yours....not just for your parents....
"Set your stall out" as you mean to go on with your family Jan....easier said than done at times but nobody...should take the kind of treament your parents are "dishing out" at the moment just because they are your parents....give them and yourself time to get use to you being home...maybe they have been under much more stress etc than you might have thought...which is easy to happen when living on the over side of the world....
take care and go easy on yourself...again easier said than done
jackie

merleoberon

I too have family "issues" that I am not looking forward to when we return. all families have their crosses to bear - we have some right muppets in ours!! but being in australia and what we've coped with on our own family unit has given me a strength i never had before so I am going to deal with it differently.

I am not going to let them bring me down to their level like I did before - I am going to set my stall out straight off and if they dont like it - tough. emigrating certainly shows you who your friends are, and that includes family members.

but it cant be easy for you with your parents being like that - i hope you are also finding that you can deal with it in a way that suits you and brings you peace. best wishes

mcmorrow1

to the guy above ,never a truer word said ,you know when you leave the motherland who are true friends ,dont say any more about family they can be even worse,am returning back home on permenant basis in a couple of weeks and i,m sure i will cop some flak(for taking the grandchildren away for 4 years) But you DO feel stronger in yourself after enduring the hardships associated with moving half way across the globe.......What doesnt kill you,makes you stronger as the saying goes.Not been a bad thing being away from UK ,has made me see things differently.

livinginreality

There are benefits of being so far away from certain family members!To the OP,its a shame your family are acting the way they are but stay strong and remember,just because you're their daughter does'nt mean you have to be at their beck and call 24/7.I think if they continued that behaviour I would consider moving abit further away and get some distance between you!Getting sorted with housing,doc's ect is a pain is the rear end but as someone else has mentioned,once its done,thats it,you can put your feet up and breathe a huge sigh of relief!

Cuppa10

That's a shame midgetjan.
I hope you're doing alright.

midgetjan

Thank you to everyone for the kind words and the very sensible advice.

I agree you can choose your friends but not your family. The last 3 years have been really tough but I don't regret a bit of it as it has helped me to step back and look at the bigger picture. Emigrating makes you stronger and I told my mother that I had been through too much crap to come home and start again here.

My sister called me yesterday to tell me the story of my dad being admitted to hospital. Her version was completely different to my mother's. I feel like they are playing a game with me.

In order to keep my sanity (what little I have left of it) I have decided to stay away until I can deal with it calmly. My OH asked me how I'd feel if my dad died while I was staying away and I answered that I have been pushed away so many times that I no longer feel that this is my fault. I have tried and tried to make them happy and nothing is ever good enough. My dad will die at some point ~ we all will, but it will not be my fault and it will not be caused by my lack of visiting.

I only posted the comment on here last night as I had reached a really low point and it seemed a release to get it off my chest. Today I spoke to one of my cousins who said I deserved to be made a saint for all the years of crap my family have given me. It felt nice that it wasn't all in my head but at the same time I was embarrassed at how much of the crap the rest of the family knew.

Tomorrow is another day and I look forward to a day that I wake up feeling normal. I guess like the OP said ~ all families have their skeletons...

ExKiwilass

jan I think disengaging emotionally is the only thing you can do. Let them play their sick games, there's no need to get pulled in. They're obviously very sad pathetic people. My guess is, once they realise you're not going to react any more, they'll smarten up..worked for me

midgetjan

Fingers crossed then ~ it's the only thing I can do at the moment.

Bernieboy

Gis a hug hen