dmu

So, what was the "other matter", since, from what you say, the officer noticed the state of her car AFTER she arrived at the Gendarmerie. Is there something else that we should know about?
I haven't been comfortable with the expression "arrested" since the beginning - why did she go to the Gendarmerie in the first place? Obviously not for something mundane like reporting theft. Was she "arrested" before the officer at the Gendarmerie saw the state of her car? If so, was her "crime/misdemeanour" so serious that the mobile Gendarmes didn't notice it? I must admit I'm confused by the whole situation.

EuroTrash

This, unfortunately, is one of the problems of trying to help an alcoholic. They never tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth - reality distortion comes with the territory, plus half the time they're not too sure themselves what really happened.

I have one in the family.

jsbach

Peabrain - she wasn't married to her (native French) late partner but they shared the same house, bills, etc for 8 years. I'm fully aware of the suicide risk, which, frankly, is an entirely possible outcome.
dmu - The reason she went to the gendarmerie was because a con-man came to her house. Without going into irrelevant detail, she was basically there as a complainant. She told her daughter she'd been "arrested", saying it happened after the discovery of her unroadworthy car and a breathalyser test.
It's very difficult for her UK-based family to help - her parents are both aged and infirm and the daughter has her own, very significant, family difficulties which I don't feel able to write about in an open forum, but which are ultimately making her choose between her mother's or her children's welfare.
As Eurotrash says, dealing with an alcoholic seems relatively straightforward - until you face one at the extreme end of the disease.

Johann

Novocastrian

I have absolutely nothing constructive to add, but I'd like to give kudos to Johann for taking such an interest in this horrible situation when, apparently the immediate family can't (or won't) intervene. Thumps up mate.

MillieF

I too think that Johaan should get a big thumbs up for the support he is giving through this terribly difficult time. Well done!

EuroTrash

FWIW, my strategy is, I treat everything he says as a possibility. I don't disbelieve anything until it is proved to be fantasy, but neither do I ever believe anything simply because he says so. I just listen to what he says and say oh I see, and assess it on the scale of, how likely does it seem to me. Once you detach yourself like that, it doesn't matter so much any more what they say - you won't ever be deceived again and you've rid of the personal resentment over 'being lied to'.

I don't know this lady but if it were my relative talking, I would think that (a) it would be out of character for him to do something as public spirited as go to the bother of making a complaint about a conman who had already been sent packing and (b) even on a bad day I would expect him to be infinitely more cunning than drive to the police station in a car with bald tyres, park it right outside and walk in reeking of alchohol.

I would also have thought that someone to whom it has become second nature to live beneath the parapet is more unlikely than most to go to the gendarmes for any reason at all unless it is completely unavoidable.

But anything is possible.

dmu

Quite.
The OP is merely passing on his friend's version of the facts and doesn't know the true circumstances.
If he can acquire a copy of tomorrow's charge (not the friend's interpretation of it) and post the gist (preferably with the French terms to avoid Lost in Translation), the knowledgeable members can advise on what the friend risks.

Garonne

She was stopped today and subsequently arrested. Her car has been impounded. It's also very possible that she was over the drink driving limit when stopped.
Johann, this was what you said in your first post. When someone says they were 'stopped' they either mean at a control or by flashing lights for speeding, shooting a light or any other offence. You use the expression 'stopped' twice saying she was possibly over the drink driving limit when stopped.

Then you say she went to the gendarmerie and the unroadworthy condition of her vehicle was noticed by an officer. This isn't what I'd call being stopped. So this officer would have been behind the desk, behind a closed glass door and from there he noticed bald tyres on a vehicle? If the vehicle was parked directly outside the door his line of sight wouldn't see the tyres and if it was parked directly across the road he couldn't possibly assess the state of the tyres. Over the years during my hundreds (literally) of trips to various gendarmeries they have taken a statement of the situation and that's it. Unless a gendarme left the building to go on a mission and spotted this UK registered car, saw it was dodgy and had heard an English person at the desk and returned to question her I can't understand this and frankly find it difficult to beieve. Also you say she is bilingual so she wouldn't have an English accent so what an amazing stroke of luck for the officer to tie this vehicle in with the person at the desk. Unless of course she'd literally swerved recklessly onto the pavement right in front of the police station door/window.

I have to say I agree with Euro Trash. All the heavy drinkers I know wouldn't dream of driving anywhere near a police station and even go kilometres out of their way to avoid well known control spots.

I'm not accusing you of being economical with the truth - not at all - I admire you as do the other posters, but it sounds to me like this woman first of all told you she was stopped then changed her story so what else don't you know about. Incidentally, how old is she?

Garonne

Just another point about probation in France. It's almost always dished out for any offence for which a custodial sentence could be imposed and is always for at least 18 months with usually a suspended sentence attached. (As I've already said my friend's son only got community hours because of the circumstances but this was exceptional and he had a fantastic, reputable lawyer who was an ex batonnier of avocats.)

In France if you're on probation you must get permission from your probation officer to leave France. You have to visit him/her before you go and give a copy of your passport and ALL travel documents and you must report to them again the day after your return. If you are going to a hotel or any other holiday destination you will have your receipts which will give details of arrival and departure dates. If you are going to visit friends or relatives you must provide an attestation 'sur l'honneur' from them giving their full name, address and the dates you will be staying with them. If you don't return to the probation officer the day after you return (or the first working day) a warrant will be put out for your arrest.

Anyone on probation with a suspended sentence would be insane to even consider breaking the terms of their probation. My friend's son had to wait 6 months for his court case and the worry drove him to deep depression as it did his mother. It was as if their life was on hold. He knows several people who've done time in France so was under no illusion as to what it would be like. His passport hadn't been detained and no pre-hearing restrictions were put on his movements. He wanted to run away to the UK and we all worked really hard with him to persuade him this would be the worst thing he could possibly do. French prisons are HORRID and he is a fairly slight, good looking 18 year old. The thought of being incarcarated terrified him and his family.

I had a thought - as your friend is bilingual and clearly in need of help here, she should make an urgent appointment to see a social worker. (I've also had a lot of experience with them translating for various people over various matters!). In their professional capacity even if a client tells them they have broken the law, are working on the black, anything at all, they are forbidden to pass the information on to the police or report them to any other organisation such as the CAF, CPAM, etc. If their next door neighbour is knowingly working on the black they can but if a client tells them anything at all it must remain strictly between the social worker and them. I just thought it may help her to discuss it with someone who will be able to advise her of what she may be facing in a non-judgemental way. The police will be as hard as nails with her so the social worker may be able to accompany her when she gives her statement to 'keep things in order' a bit. I currently have a fantastic male social worker - she may be lucky and find a real gem like him. My previous one told me to go back to England when I lost my job and had run out of unemployment benefit.

dmu

Somewhat off-topic, but I'm bilingual and have never been able to get rid of my English accent (unless I deliberately imitate the Languedoc one, but I can't keep it up forever...).
P.S. Agree that a visit to the Mairie to consult the Assistante Sociale will be beneficial.

Novocastrian

+1. My MiL lived in England for 45+years and was completely bilingual but still spoke like Inspector Clouseau.

EuroTrash

Being bilingual, why not phone the police? Why go in? I missed that bit - but it makes even less sense now.

dmu

There are lots of details that come up to the surface on re-reading the whole thread...
The OP hasn't replied to my query about help from the friend's French "in-laws". The fellow lived with her (in her house) for 8 years, after all...

jsbach

With a slight feeling that I'm being put under Inspector Clouseau's magnifying glass, I'll respond to various points.
She wasn't "stopped" but, as I later said, went to the Gendarmerie as a complainant. I guess I used the verb in a colloquial, English way, which is what usually happens to drink drivers.
I've no idea why she went to Gendarmerie, rather than phoning. As some have said, it seems daft. However, part of the alcoholism has made her apparently impervious to risk and she has a completely self-destructive attitude to life.
I don't know much about her partner's family, except that there is a son. I believe he lives around 150km from my friend; I've no way of contacting him and I suspect she may not do so (cf para above).
Not knowing the geography of the Gendarmerie, I can't comment on how the officer came to spot the defects and then to question her. She didn't explain this.
Thanks for the Social Worker suggestion, Garonne, I didn't know anything about this and will suggest it when I phone her tomorrow.
She's 61.

Johann

EuroTrash

As said - treat everything she says as one possibility among several.

My relative once got home late because he'd broken down - his car radiator had started leaking and the engine had overheated. We were all rather surprised and irritated at why it took months for the car to be repaired, while he kept borrowing our cars and explaining that the garage was waiting for parts/were short staffed/etc/but he was chasing them. (This was in the early days before we knew the extent of his problem and discovered how clever alcoholics are at manipulating people and getting them to believe their yarns.) Eventually he got his car back and we all forgot all about it. Many many years later, I happened to find out purely by chance, in conversation with a mutual friend, what had in fact happened that evening: yes the radiator had leaked, but the reason it had leaked was because he had driven straight across a roundabout he hadn't spotted and hit a bollard the other side at some speed. So in fact the garage had had to rebuild the entire front end of his car.

There's always a grain of truth in there somewhere, BUT...